July 2005

Sulli downcasted as she bit her lower lip. She held the strap of her bag tightly as I only heard the busses passing by and the trees rustling. I can’t hear even a single decibel of her voice. I waited for her to speak, but no words are coming out of .

She shrugged and laughed awkwardly. “Chingu! Is this one of your pranks again?” she said as she slapped me on the left arm. She won’t believe me. I knew this would be a bad decision.

“No, Ssul. My feelings for you are true,” I said sincerely as I held her hands.

“B-b-but, Krystal…” she mumbled as she slowly let go of my grip. “I thought you like Krystal.”

“No. I just said it because I was pressured. The black notebook. The songs I wrote and composed.” I paused for a moment, trying to find courage on saying what I need to say. “The songs I wrote and composed. Those are all about you.”

She looked at me in shock. “Minho…”

“Ssul,” I said as I held her hands again and walked closer to her.

“I-I-I need t-t-to go home now. You need to go, too. Mrs. Choi’s waiting for you,” she said flatly. She let go of my hands again and I watched her ran away from me.

That’s it. It’s all over. Our friendship—it’s done.

I slowly walked towards home, as the sun sets in the West. I looked up to see the blue-orange sky and the trees swaying. The night passed surprisingly silent and fast.

Someone woke me up by nudging my knee. “Ssul,” I said in a hoarse and almost inaudible voice. It has always been her who’s nudging my knee to wake me up. I wore my glasses, and as my sight becomes clearer, I gradually become disappointed to see that it’s not her. It’s umma sitting on my bed.

“Hmm?” I asked.

“How’s Sulli?” she asked. I was weirded out by her question that my eyes widened.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Because you’re my son,” she said as she put her hand on my left hand. “I know you like Sulli.”

I was surprised with what she said. “A-a-aniyo,” I denied.

She smiled at me and looked at me with a sight suggesting that she knows I’m lying. “Minho, you can’t lie to me. I’m your mother and I’m quite old already. I know if a person likes someone just by looking at his actions and eyes.”

I sighed and said, “Yes. Umma, I like Sulli. I confessed my feelings towards her yesterday, but… she ran away from me with no answer.”

“Aw, my Minho,” she said while frowning. “I heard from other people that Sulli has a higher chance of being a trainee than the others. Some even say that she’s a ‘sure-pass.’ Let’s say that she passes the auditions, what will you do?”

I blinked and said, “I don’t know. Nothing, perhaps. That’s her dream. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“But, will you just let her go without even receiving an answer from her?” she asked me. And that question ringed on my head. I need an answer from her, regardless if she likes me or not. I just needed a closure.

“Thanks, umma!” I said as I hugged her.

I quickly ran to their house and knocked the door in a rapid manner. I can’t wait no more. The door opened and it was Sulli’s umma. “Oh, Minho!”

“Hi Mrs. Choi! Is Sulli there?” I asked her. She slightly closed the door and looked at her back. It took a while before she opened it again and looked at me.

“I’m sorry, Minho. Sulli is not here. She went with his friends for a vacation,” she said. I know she was lying.

“Please, Mrs. Choi. I just need to talk to her,” I said as I clasped my hands.

“Uh,” she said as she looked down. “She’s really not here. Sorry.”

“Mrs. Choi! Please!” my voice raised as she slowly closed and locked the front door. I knocked repeatedly and said, “Mrs. Choi! Please! Sulli, I know you’re there!”

My knocks became softer and softer, until I gave up.

Every day for the rest of the week, I’ve been coming in front of  their house, hoping that Sulli would come out of the door and talk to me. But, I had no luck. Her parents would just block me in front of the door and say that she’s still on a vacation. I’ve been persistent. I won’t just let her leave without giving me an answer.

It was 9:00AM in the morning, I walked to the front door and knocked continuously. “Sulli! Sulli!” The door opened and it was Sulli’s umma, again. “Hi, again, Mrs. Choi. Is Sulli back now?”

“Ah, about Sulli,” she said. “I’m afraid she won’t be back here for a long time.”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Sulli… Sulli just left Busan, and went to Seoul. SM Entertainment called us yesterday and told us that she passed the auditions. They bought her a bus ticket and it was scheduled to leave by 10AM today.”

“What’s the bus number, Mrs. Choi?” I asked calmly.

“I’m sorry if we lied to you. Sulli requested it, but me and yeobo felt sorry for you. So, I think this is the only time we can repay you. The bus number is 0143. Go run fast,” she said. I thanked her and quickly ran towards the bus stop and took a bus to Geumjeong-gu. After arriving to Geumjeong-gu, I dashed to the Busan Bus Terminal Complex. When I went inside the terminal, I looked around to find the bus where Sulli is, while breathing heavily.

The crowd was distracting me. I walked farther, and kept looking at the bus numbers. 0234, 0657, 0652. I stopped next to 0652. It’s 0143. The engine already fired up and the bus accelerated. I hesitated and didn’t know what to do as I fidgeted. The bus gets farther and farther. I ran for it, even though I’m already dead tired.

I saw Sulli looking out the window, staring at me. She placed her hand on the window as I kept running faster. But, the bus accelerated faster, while my legs started to feel numb. I stopped and breathed heavily as the bus got farther and farther from me.

Continue? 3, 2, 1. Game over.

July 2013

“You’ve been the talk of the crowd lately because of the songs you wrote that has always topped the charts. What can you say about this?” the reporter asked me as she placed the voice recorder on the table, waiting for me to answer, while the cameraman beside her started to record the conversation, with the red light blinking.

I gulped, thought of what to answer and said, “I’m glad that many Koreans are appreciating my works. At first, I was unsure if people would like them, but when the songs I wrote and composed charted, I was surprised. I would like to thank them all for continuously supporting them.” I smiled at looked at her.

She nodded and followed up a question. “It’s undeniable that you have good looks,” she said as I chuckled. “Now, some girls would like to know this. Do you have a girlfriend right now?”

“Yes,” I said.

“And who is this lucky girl?” she said as she smirked at me. I cleared my throat.

“Her name’s Jung Krystal,” I said.