October 2012

A month has passed since I broke up with Krystal. I’ve haven’t heard any news from her after that. Until now, I still feel guilty for making her feel miserable. Every night, I was thinking of her and how she’s doing. I tried calling her, but she changed her number. I tried visiting her bakery, but it’s temporarily closed. I tried visiting her house, but she’s not living there anymore. I tried asking her friends on her whereabouts, but they don’t know, too.

“Our recording’s finished, already. They would merge it tomorrow. My album photo shoot would be next week. What should we do this week?” Sulli said as she sat beside me at the sofa in the recording studio. She placed her head on my shoulder while I held her hand tightly. I removed some strands of her hair to see her glowing face.

I smiled as I stared at the wall and joked, “Hm… Let’s runaway?” Her sweet chuckle resounded the room as her head was kept still on my shoulder.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” I said. I raised our hands and we both looked up. We stared at our intertwined hands with the orange light at the back passing into it. I glanced at her and she was still staring at it with her squinted eyes. She seemed she was thinking deeply.

I neared my face to her cheek and pecked her as the scent of her vanilla perfume passed through my nose and my lips felt her soft cheek. She looked at me slowly and smiled.

“Where shall you take me?” she said in a silly manner.

“Anywhere,” I said.

We went to the parking lot and we both entered my new car. It’s not a top-of-the-line car, just a simple small white car that’s enough for me. I fired the engine and we started travelling around Seoul.

After thirty minutes, I parked the car in a place where few people come. Surprisingly, there wasn’t any person that day. We both went out and saw the blooming cherry blossom trees around. Beside is a wide sea where the serene sound could be heard.

We sat at the grass and just stared at the sea and the trees. We were quiet. Not a single word was coming from our mouth. We listened to the sounds of nature with our hands intertwined and Sulli’s head on my shoulder.

“I remember our childhood days,” she mumbled.

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I just remember it,” she said.

I laughed and said, “I remember when we were at the beach and we both fought on whether I really made a sand castle.”

She burst into laughter and said, “Yeah! I remember that! I made it look like a sand castle just by putting a yellow flag on top of it.”

“What? Even without your flag, it would still look like a sand castle,” I joked.

“No, it’s not,” she teased.

We laughed our hearts off as we disturbed the serene surrounding. The birds were chirping louder and the wind became stronger as we kept laughing. Nature probably told us to keep quiet.

“Chamkkanman,” I said. I stood up as I jogged towards the car. I opened the door of the backseat and brought my guitar and the black notebook out with me. I closed the door and walked towards where Sulli was sitting.

I sat in front of her and looked at her enchanting surprised face. “W-W-What is this?” she asked.

“I wrote this in 2005. I was unsure before if I’d sing this in front of you. But, today, I had the guts. So here it goes,” I said. She clapped as I tuned the guitar first, and opened the notebook to the third page.

I breathed heavily and I started strumming the guitar.

Now let’s take off, let’s fly to Neverland

Even if time is not on our sides, it’s OK

There’s only one life to live so before it’s too late

Hold my hand

Cause it’s going down tonight

Into the awesome future, let’s ride

Close your eyes and count (3, 2, 1)

Shall we fly?

She was looking at me, smiling, as she clapped her hands in a pattern that suits the beat of the song.

Hey, love! Let’s run away!

Let’s go even if we don’t have a destination

If only you’re by my side

I can go anywhere in the world, whenever – alright

Hey, love! Let’s run away!

Never let go of this hand

With a sweet imagination

Into the awesome world where there are free dreams

Here we go, everyone put your hands up – disco

Today, no matter what anyone says, we’re heroes

Our prayers are standing on the crossroads of life

Evils? Hell no – don’t hesitate

It’s going down tonight

Don’t be scared and just fly

On the count of three, open your eyes (3, 2, 1)

Welcome to our world.

Hey, love! Let’s run away!

Let’s go even if we don’t have a destination

If only you’re by my side

I can go anywhere in the world, whenever – alright

Hey, love! Let’s run away!

Never let go of this hand

With a sweet imagination

Into the awesome world where there are free dreams.

I placed the guitar on the side and I looked at her with my eyes asking on her reaction. She slowly smiled at me and said, “It was amazing.”

We stared at each other while smiling. It was never awkward for us. The light pink leaves from the trees passed through us. A weird feeling got into me. It was an unfamiliar feeling. It was more than love.

It was only until now that I’ve gotten this close to her. Even though I’ve seen her face for a thousand of times, today’s different. This minute, specifically. Her dark brown eyes were sparkling, her cheeks were pink, and her lips were very lush. I’ve never observed her this closely before.

My heart started beating faster than ever. It’s about to explode as I gulped. I placed my hands on the grass as I went closer to her. The sound of the birds chirping, the wind passing through us, and the sea slowly moving ruled our ears.

“I never realized that you were this handsome,” she mumbled.

She closed her eyes as she neared her face to mine. My face became nearer and nearer to hers. My lips touched the tip of her nose, pecking her mole. I cupped her cheeks as I lowered my face. Slowly, my lips touched hers. Surprisingly, I’ve realized what kind of feeling I had. Desire. The desire to kiss her.

Her lips were so soft and warm as I caressed her. Slowly, opened and we both gave in. I could smell her facial mist as I deepened my kiss. She let out a moan as she slowly touched my nape and pulled me towards her more. The birds continued chirping and the sound of the breeze caressing the trees were incorporated with our hearts beating fast.

She pushed me slowly. She opened her eyes and smiled at me afterwards. I smiled back as I rubbed my nape. “I-I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I love it,” she said blissfully. She stood up as she offered her hands to me. I held her soft hands and she helped me stand. I grabbed my notebook and guitar, and we both walked towards the car with our hands holding tightly.