8: Hope

“Jaejoong’s death isn't your fault Seunghyun.”

"But..." Seunghyun was going to talk, before he cut him again.

"No buts. It was an accident, and furthermore, the aircraft had been investigated." He walked closer to Seunghyun's bed. Knowing their places, Jiyong and Youngbae stood up immediately and gave him the space he deserved—the chair next to Seunghyun's bed.

"You blame yourself for something you didn't do. It was a complete accident, Seunghyun. If someone is at fault, it definetely wouldn't be you." The man's eyes softened, as he looked straight to Seunghyun.

"Captain...."

Yes, Dongwook was visiting Seunghyun at the hospital. He finally visited him after all this time!

"I'm sorry for visiting this late," Dongwook clasped his hands together and lowering his head. His voice and expression were clearly saying apologize and regret. "You must be thinking we hate you for that accident."

"Don't you?" Seunghyun asked, hesitantly. Yeah. Despite everyone's assurance, Seunghyun still had 'that' insecurities about his place.

"We don't."

Dongwook stated that clearly and confidently. He looked up, his eyes were looking straight to Seunghyun's eyes, and he was assuring him once more.

"It's not your fault. The army had investigated the aircraft and the accident is not because human error in our squadron."

"Then, what is it, Capt?" Seungri butted in into the conversation. He always be the man with the most curiosity among Black Eagles.

“It was mechanical fault.”

Everyone was shocked at the news.  Never once, in the history of Korean Air Force, an accident occurred because a mechanical fault!

“Really, hyung?” Jiyong had his eyes opened wide and his jaw was hanging. Not only Jiyong, but everyone except Yoona, Dongwook, and Seunghyun had the same expression.

“Yeah. Just before those aircrafts were sent to our squadron, it went through the last check up. The mechanic forgot to connect a wire and activate the vertical flight control for that aircraft. Unfortunately, that plane was the one we chose to ride in order to test it.”

“Hyung, are you sure?”

“Yes.” Dongwook said it sternly, but there was slight sadness hidden behind his stern voice. “Death is God’s destiny. We can't control who will die and we can't prevent someone who is dying either. Stop blaming yourself, Seunghyun. Jaejoong won't be happy if he sees you like this.”

“How about… his family?”

“His family?” Dongwook spread a smile—a happy one, to be exact. “They're dying to see you, Seunghyun.”

“They?” Seunghyun raised his eyebrow in confusion. “Isn't Jaejoong-hyung only had his wife as his family? His parents had passed away a few years ago and he’s the only child, isn't he?”

When Seunghyun finished talking, the door opened wide, revealing a woman in her mid 20s, looked gorgeous as ever, with her bright smile and her trade mark short locks.

“YAH! SEUNGHYUN!”

Seunghyun immediately turned his head to the source of the shrieking voice. He knows that sound… too well.

Without looking to the door—he only heard her voice; Seunghyun immediately went alert and ready to throw tantrums. Maybe he was vulnerable in front of s, but he couldn’t be vulnerable in front of her. She looked up and relied on him. “Call me oppa, you brat!”

“No way!” Soojin—Seunghyun’s cousin, stepped in with a bright smile on her face. Dongwook stood up and let Soojin sat on the chair.

“How are you, Oppa?” Soojin asked cheerfully—like nothing had happened. Seunghyun didn’t answer her question, yet, he was avoiding Soojin’s eyes.

“Look to me, oppa!” Soojin whined and grabbed Seunghyun’s free hand. Unlike what he did to Daesung, Seunghyun didn’t pull his hand away from her grip. “Hey, we haven’t met since forever!”

Still, Seunghyun didn’t move and it made Soojin frustrated. “YAH OPPA!”

“I'm sorry, Soojin-ah.” Seunghyun said. He finally looked at Soojin straight in the eyes. “For everything.”

Soojin—who were ready to throw more tantrums—spread a sad smile on her beautiful face. She didn’t let go of Seunghyun’s hand, but she gripped it tighter. “It wasn’t your fault, oppa.”

“But…”

“His death is not within your control. No one wants his death, and I know, you already tried your best to save his life, oppa.”

“But Soojin…”

 “Jaejoong might have died months ago, but he is still alive in here…” Soojin pointed her chest, where her heart is located. “He is still alive in yours too.”

“Did you hear my story, Soojin-ah?” Seunghyun and Soojin didn’t break their gazes on each other. They were talking with straight eyes. “How horrible I was when he died?”

Soojin shook her head, but she kept her smile. “I didn’t need to, oppa.” She paused. “I knew you tried your best already. So I won't blame anyone.”

“Not even if I tell you that he was alive after the crash? I couldn’t help him at all, while he was…”

Soojin brought her hand to gripped Seunghyun’s hand that she gripped earlier, and it showed a silver ring with tiny diamonds on her finger ring, which glistened under the sunray.

“I lost my husband already, oppa. I can't bear to lose a friend anymore—you're not just a friend. You're a cousin, a brother, an older figure, and someone I respect. We need you, Seunghyun-oppa.”

“We…? But…”

“Yeah, oppa. We need you.”

Soojin pulled her hands from Seunghyun’s and rubbed her lower stomach with gentle and soft caresses.

“This kid needs a father figure, oppa. I don’t force you to take responsibility over Jae’s death, or even, over my pregnancy, but I need a man to be a father to this kid.”

Seunghyun’s mouth gaped in disbelief. Soojin was pregnant? And he made their kid lose a father figure when that kid wasn’t even born? He was a terrible uncle-to-be.

“Soojin-ah… I…”

It mig