Collision (n.)

-        I must learn to unlearn the supposition that all collisions end in tragedy.

Whenever I felt bleak, I would always watch a video of antimatter and matter colliding inside a tube. Every time matter and antimatter collide, they cancel each other out – they create non-existence. In theory, there should be nothing in the universe when the Big Bang happened, but despite what causality says the universe persists. At the very least, theology got one thing right – that the universe was created ex nihilo, out of nothing. The universe was borne out of nothing, and yet it is everything that we are and will be. It provides me a sense of comfort in knowing that there can be something from nothing, that not everything is as murky as it seems.

But since then, I’ve found a new way to help with my dread. Minho. When I found him waiting for me at the door of the lecture hall I saw that something within me, within him – within us - had shifted. Before yesterday, it seemed like we were two particles adrift, attracted to opposite gravitational forces. We’d meet along the way but we’d never collide with each other.

Now, it seemed like we were attracted towards each other. Like when matter and antimatter pull each other towards themselves. I found myself wanting to be close to him – not out of some vague notion of what it would be like – no, because I’ve already been close to him. We’ve collided once, and I wanted that to keep happening.

***

Minho and I walked into the lecture hall feeling happy and satisfied. I saw Kai gave us a soft approving smile, but before we can exchange words, Prof. Kang began with his lecture. Kai and I continued (or began) our conversation through folded notes.

Is it official yet? Painted more walls with him?

1.) Stop it with the walls and paint innuendo. 2) It’s not official. Yet. But It might be. Soon.

Fighting! How was the date? I want details!

It was wonderful.

WOW. That’s a LOT of details. I am positively swimming in information.

I do not think it is appropriate to talk about such things in paper. And with you, no less.

Fine. Be like that!

I, however, is interested with you and that girl you’re still being secretive about.

Teenagers are meant to be secretive DAD.

At that point I crumpled the paper and stuffed it inside my bag, afraid that other people might see it. It was also my way of saying to Kai that we’ll talk about it later at home. I gave him a stern look after and, realizing the mistake he just made, he looked at me apologetically.

I was barely paying attention to Prof. Kang’s mumblings about trains and collisions. I was too distracted staring at Minho who listened to him intently. I was usually very seriou