Duality (n.)

-    Opposites are rarely reconciled, but when they do, they give birth to the most beautiful things.

There are two sides to a coin. Always. Actually, all things contain in them a multitude of sides to the point that they are indistinguishable from each other unless you scrutinize them. There are times, however, when two sides are essentially the same but only different in expression. In physics, we call it duality – two theories that are fundamentally the same but different only in mathematical description. Imagine a tree; it can be photographed in diverse ways yet it is still what it is – a tree.

 Life too is a duality mediated by the human soul. All of us live lives but vary in the way we live it. Our choices, and even our non-choices, shape and direct our lives and the lives of others. It is rather complicated how closely interconnected we all are, how our choices can affect others in ways still unknown. It is a responsibility we all must carry, that is why we have to be careful with our decisions.

That is why it is important to make difficult choices, to make sacrifices.

There are no excuses, no guarantees, no leeway when it comes to choices – we all must make it. That is the downfall of freedom, the other side of the coin, the unspoken paradox which is nothing really but a duplicate of the other. Freedom is a trap, the notion of it a sham.

We are not free not to make a choice.

***

The school year has ended with a bang. As usual, I aced all of my exams and graduated with flying colours. I graduated valedictorian of our class (let that sink in) and Jinki graduated with honours.  It was, arguably, one of the proudest moments of my life. At long last I’ve achieved what I always wanted and did it my way. My parents were beaming with joy and adulation, and even Kai whom I have not spoken to sincerely in a long time was obviously swelling with pride. It was a validation of my hard work and dedication to science, but more importantly a confirmation of my lifelong obsession to be the best. Minho, expectedly, was the proudest of all. Since the day it was announced that I’d be graduating top of the class he had this smug plastered on his face and paraded me whenever he can. It’s actually funny how he thinks I was such a catch which made me love him even more. I was reminded of the importance of loving someone who is unfaltering in his affection.

But despite it all, I knew deep down the true guise of this festivity – a distraction. On one hand it was a proud moment worthy of celebration on the other I knew that this moment is but a small dot in the bigger picture. It was guise that can lure anyone in a false sense of security.

Things were changing, and the change was fast. And the worst part? I wasn’t ready for it.

“…congratulations, Graduates of The Class of 2013!” the school president finally said which caused an uproar amongst the students and the audience. Caps flew in the air and there was a collective cheer of glee and finality that erupted not short after. I saw Jinki and Minho run towards me. Jinki arrived first, bumping into a few students along the way, and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back.

“Can you believe it! We’re graduated! I can’t wait to take medicine proper,” he shouted hopefully. I grinned at him, my excitement equaling his.

When I was about to say something, Minho quickly embraced me and lifted me slightly. I chuckled when I felt being hoisted in the air.

“Minho put me down!” I shouted but in the truth was I never wanted him to let me go. Eventually, he put me down and ruffled my hair earnestly which I returned with a light slap to his arm. Ever since we’ve gotten intimate, things have been easier between us. The barrier of shyness that once stood in-between us has been permanently shattered, it’s like we yearn to touch each o