Loneliness (n.)

-   What we fail to realize is that much of  life is an act of trying to fill gaps of loneliness.

It still took a few days before I decided that I was ready to hear Minho’s side of the story. I was glad that Minho respected my feelings by keeping his distance. During class we silently agreed to work together and talk about anything but the direction of our relationship, which I was grateful for. Honestly, it wasn’t that I wanted to punish Minho for his indiscretion, although a tiny part of me wanted to do that. I simply needed time to process and grieve, to ride the waves of my emotions and let it settle down.  It would be unfair for Minho to not hear his explanation when I’m aggravated or unready. I figured he deserved that much.

My parents invited me to a gala event, some opening of an oceanarium down town. I never really cared for it until I realized that it might be a good place for Minho and I to do “the talk” because it was a neutral territory, besides if things go awry I can always drown myself or Minho. And I happen to adore fishes tremendously. I asked my parents if I could bring friends and they gladly obliged so I texted Minho:

The oceanarium will host a gala event for its opening. Can you go with me?

He agreed, as expected, and I texted him the details.

***

The gala was as ostentatious as I expected it to be. Socialites and important people all decked in their best garbs were everywhere were socializing in the make-shift ballroom. The organizers of the event decided to turn the aquarium tunnel into the ballroom, which is why we were literally surrounded by fish. Somehow it eased my nervousness. Jinki and Kai were invited too and brought dates of their own. Jinki brought Luna, our classmate from our ethics class. She was an unassuming girl – simple and very pleasant. She had this beautiful blonde hair that she styled in a bun which lit her face up. In many ways, she was the girl version of Jinki and I was glad that Jinki found her. On one hand, Kai’s date was a complete shocker. Taeyon was a petite girl, very pretty and exudes sultriness. Upon introduction I jokingly asked her why she agreed to date Kai in the first place, to which she replied with wit and humour. I saw how Kai was silently eager for me to approve of his choice, which I get since I am his father after all. Of course, I happily gave it to him.

The five of us congregated on the dessert table, as if it wasn’t sugary enough to be surrounded by two couples. We were conversing animatedly, but deep inside I was anxiously waiting for Minho’s arrival. Whilst Jinki was explaining something I didn’t really care about my phone buzzed. I received a text message from Minho saying that he’s arrived and was asking where I was. I replied with my location and went back faux-listening to Jinki.

“…and then Tony Stark met this young boy…” he stopped midway and we saw him smile. “Minho! Over here!”

I turned back and saw Minho. He looked divine. His hair was styled that his forehead was showing. He was wearing a double-ed navy blue suit and pants that seemed to lengthen him even more. The subtle refraction coming from the glassy surrounding only managed to make him look even dreamier.

The others in the group probably noticed my fawning so Kai pushed me towards Minho.

Once the gap was closed I only managed to glance at him before looking elsewhere to hide my embarrassment. “You came…” I blurted out.

“You asked me to come, so I came. And by the way, I brought Kibum along. He’s actually still outside since he’s not on the list and all…” Minho replied.

“Can you wait here? I’ll talk to my parents and see if they can do anything about it.”

Before leaving I saw Minho try to reach out to me, probably to hold my hand, but he didn’t. Oddly, I felt disappointed.

Then