“You'll come back, right?”
Home
Promise.
Junhong looked around his classroom at the other students talking to each other before class started. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, tapping his fingers gently against the desk. He glanced over at the empty desk next to his own; sighing when he remembered a new student would be sitting there from now on.
He wasn't looking forward to it at all. He looked out the window beside his desk and decided to ignore those thoughts and instead think back on everything that had happened in the past week. He had been trying harder at school. He wasn't making better grades and things still made no sense, but he was trying. He was listening when Yongguk would offer help.
Himchan had stopped coming to the hotel. He was surprised but he wanted to apologize to the man for hitting him. It was a strange nagging feeling; he never regretted fighting with anyone before but he desperately wanted to apologize to the man. He wanted to get to know him better too. He had tried asking Yongguk but even he didn't seem to know much about Himchan's past, despite knowing him for years.
He stood up when the bell rung and the teacher stepped inside, followed closely by the new student. They did the greeting before sitting back down in their seats. The student started to introduce himself and Junhong looked back out the window, uninterested.
He heard the teacher say his name after a few minutes and quickly looked her way. He ignored his classmates snickering, realizing she must have said his name a few times without him noticing.
“Raise your hand so Jongup knows where to sit.”
He held back a sigh as he held up his hand. Jongup started walking towards the empty desk in the back. Junhong couldn't help but wonder-why? Almost all of the desks in the back of the classroom were empty; why did he have to sit next to him?
Junhong figured he didn't have to worry about it for too long. The boy would definitely choose to move somewhere closer with the other kids. The boy smiled at him and he quickly looked away, trying to make it clear he wasn't interested in talking with him.
He found it more than difficult to focus on the lesson with this stranger sitting next to him.
- - - - - - - -
“Can I eat lunch with you?”
Junhong looked up from his food and stared blankly at his classmate. He shrugged, not really knowing what to say. No one had ever wanted to sit next to him during lunch. He watched closely as the boy pulled his own desk closer before sitting back down and getting his lunch box.
They both tried to ignore the awkwardness as they ate their food in silence.
“Ew, don't eat with him!”
They both looked towards the other students. Junhong rolled his eyes and looked back down at his food; constantly reminding himself he had to control himself. It was difficult controlling his anger but he was really trying. Not only for Yongguk but also for himself.
“Come sit with us.” One of the classmates stepped closer. “You don't want to sit with that.”
Jongup shook his head. “I'm not moving.”
The boy sneered and Junhong sighed loudly. “You should have just moved.” He didn't know why he cared but he didn't want his new classmate to be bullied. He thought maybe he should feel happy that the rest of the students would finally focus on tormenting someone else but instead it made him feel almost angry. He didn't understand why.
He smiled but didn't say anything.
- - - - - - - -
Yongguk glanced over at the boy before looking back towards the road. Junhong had been even quieter than usual; seemingly deep in thought. He pursed his lips wondering what he was thinking so hard about.
“Aren't you wondering where we're going?” He asked, hoping to start a conversation. It didn't seem like the boy heard him as he continued to stare forward, his expression blank. He was almost started to feel worried. “Junhong.” He called out. The boy looked at him in question and he continued. “Are you okay?”
The younger nodded his head.
“What are you thinking about?”
The boy shrugged. “Nothing.” He moved to sit properly in his seat again and just like that everything was quiet again.
Yongguk sighed softly before turning on the radio. He didn't think he could handle the silence any longer and it seemed like the boy was in no mood to talk. He didn't know why it was aggravating him so much; he normally didn't mind the silence between the two of them. It was normally comfortable but there just seemed to be something off and he wanted to know what it was.
He planned for the two of them to go out to dinner and maybe some shopping tonight. He knew very well he couldn't keep Junhong out too late as it was a school night but he just wanted to spend some time with him since he would soon be in Busan for a few weeks.
He gripped the steering wheel tightly. He hadn't told Junhong that he would be gone. He was absolutely dreading telling him. More than that, he was dreading leaving the boy; even if just for a few weeks. They hadn't spent very much time apart since he started working at the hotel.
He was also worried something would happen while he was gone. He fully intended on making sure the employees, especially Daehyun, kept a close watch on Junhong.
“What's it like having friends?”
Junhong's voice broke him out of his thoughts. He glanced at him and smiled. “Well, aren't I a friend?”
The younger seemed almost hesitant with his next words. “Someone other than you. Is it really okay to have more than one friend?”
Yongguk furrowed his brows. “Well, of course. . .”
Junhong immediately noticed there was something different about his tone of voice. The air was suddenly tense and neither knew what to say to fix it. He couldn't help but wonder if the older man was jealous. The thought made the butterflies in his stomach go wild. He quickly shook the thoughts away, quickly deciding it couldn't be that at all.
“Why?” The man finally asked after a couple of minutes.
“I have a new classmate.” He replied before shrugging. “He seemed. . . okay.”
The older man hummed in reply, seemingly focused on the road. Junhong couldn't help the small pout on his lips. The rest of the ride was silent.
- - - - - - - -
“Junhong.” Yongguk hated seeing how uncomfortable the boy looked. He knew the younger was upset with him for bringing him into such a fancy place like this while he was still in his school uniform. He honestly hadn't thought anything about it. The boy refused to look up. “You look fine.”
He couldn't help but laugh when the boy finally looked up and glared at him. “I'm not lying.” He looked around the quiet, romantic restaurant. “I think you look much better than anyone else here.” He felt himself smiling as Junhong's lips twitched upwards. It was only for a split second and then the boy looked utterly uncomfortable again. Yongguk stood up. “Come on.” He started towards the exit.
Junhong's eyes widened and he hurried to get up, ignoring everyone staring at them. He quickly caught up with the man and nothing was said until they were back inside the older man's car.
“Are you mad at me?” The boy asked quietly; his eyes downcast.
Yongguk reached over and ruffled his hair. “No. I'm not.” He started the engine. “I just thought of something better.”
“Where're we going?”
“Hongdae.”
“Why?”
“The food is really good there.” He smiled over at the younger.
- - - - - - - - -
They ended up walking around for hours; both losing track of the time. Yongguk had to admit that this was much more fun than the stuffy restaurant. He was happy to see Junhong enjoying himself. Even though he wasn't smiling, he could see the happiness in the boy's eyes.
They walked through the crowd; their shoulders gently brushing against each other's. The man sighed softly, wondering how he was going to tell the boy he was going to be gone for a while. He swallowed thickly. They were having such a good time, the last thing he wanted to do was make Junhong upset.
He wondered if he was feeling a bit to cocky. Maybe the younger wouldn't even notice if he was gone. Part of him knew that wasn't true at all. He knew the boy was becoming very attached to him and it would be a lie if Yongguk said he himself wasn't already attached to Junhong. He spotted a coffee shop he was familiar with and gently put his hand on the boy's back, guiding him towards the shop.
Junhong sat down at the table as he watched the older man stand in line. He looked around the quiet cafe before looking down towards the table and smiling to himself. He felt like he didn't even need a warm drink; he was already so warm and happy. He thought he'd never felt so happy before. He thought maybe it was silly to be so happy over something so simple as trying street food and just talking. . . Not about problems or issues- just simply talking.
Although he did more listening than talking, he just felt so happy. Yongguk had wanted to talk him. Not talk about his past or problems. His heart felt like it would burst from happiness. He looked up when he heard the man clear his throat and sit a drink in front of him.
Junhong immediately noticed the distant and ever so slightly frustrated look on the older man's face. He opened his mouth to ask if he was okay but the words wouldn't come out. He wrapped his hands around the styrofoam cup, warming his hands. He looked back up at the older man; watching as he picked up his own cup, looking deep in thought as he took a big sip of his drink without thinking.
The man's eyes widened, breaking out of his trance. “Hot-” He said after he swallowed the scorching hot liquid.
The boy covered his mouth to keep from laughing. He couldn't help but laugh softly as he dropped his hand. “That's kind of expected.” He said in between soft laughs.
Yongguk's lips parted in awe. Junhong was laughing. He was actually laughing and the man thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever witnessed. The way the boy's face lit up, the way his eyes crinkled and the little dimple that appeared- everything about him stole Yongguk's breath away.
He wanted to remember everything about this moment.
The younger looked down at his cup, biting his lower lip to keep from smiling. He wasn't sure why he'd found it so funny. He thought maybe he'd found it so funny simply because he was feeling so blissful.
Yongguk was finding it even harder to bring up his business trip now. But, he knew very well he had too. There was no way he would simply leave. “Junhong.” He called out softly. The boy looked up immediately. “I'm going to be in Busan for about three and a half weeks.
The younger stared at him for a moment before speaking. “You'll come back, right?”
“Of course.” He smiled gently.
Junhong gently chewed at his chapped lips, his eyes downcast. He had become so used to seeing the man everyday; it was almost scaring him knowing he wouldn't be able to.
“You can call me, you know.” The man's warm voice broke him out of his thoughts.
“I don't. . . I don't have a phone.” He frowned deeply.
“I'll give you a key to my room in the hotel.” The older man smiled warmly at him. “You can use the phone in there.”
“Why do you trust me?” Junhong suddenly asked. “I could steal everything in there. I'm poor. I have nothing. Why do you trust me enough to give me a key to your room?”
Yongguk pursed his lips for a moment as he thought over his reply. “Because I know you won't do that.”
“I've stolen before.” The boy said solemnly. His expression was dark, almost as if he was challenging the man. “I've broken into homes and stolen. Do you still trust me?” It was a lie. He'd never broken into anyone's home but he wanted to see the older man's reaction.
Without any hesitation, the older man nodded his head. “Yes.”
Yongguk could see through his dark expression. He looked scared and in pain. He knew the boy would never steal anything from him. If he wanted to, he would have a long time ago. He wondered if Junhong thought he was setting him up. The boy could steal everything in that room, but he would never report him to the police. “You know I'll never do anything to hurt you, right?”
Junhong's expression softened and they met eyes. “Do. . . you promise?”
“I promise.”
- - - - - - -
The first day was so miserable for Junhong. He had nothing to look forward to and he couldn't get himself to focus on anything during school. Jongup had tried to talk with him but he just wasn't in the mood to even listen. He sighed softly as he walked towards the playground. He sat down on the swing but it didn't feel right knowing the man wasn't going to come down. He shivered, realizing how attached he'd become. It terrified him because he realized how much it would hurt to lose the man.
He felt like his throat was closing up at just the mere thought. He told himself he hated the older man for doing this to him. Junhong knew that was a lie. A complete lie. He'd never been happier but it frightened him so much.
He held his hand against his chest and closed his eyes. His heart was pounding and the butterflies in his stomach were going wild. He thought he felt sick but it just didn't make sense. Sick didn't seem like the right word but he didn't know how to describe this feeling. He stood up from the swings and decided it would just be better to go home and rest. Even with those thoughts, he found himself walking towards Yongguk's apartment building. Junhong stared up at it. He wasn't exactly sure what he was doing as he stared at the building. He looked away hearing footsteps.
He froze as he met eyes with Kim Himchan.
Time seemed to stand still as the two stared at each other before the man finally broke the eye contact and turned away.
“Wait!” The boy called out. “Wait-” He hurried after the man.
Himchan stood still. He slowly turned around. “Yes?”
“Thank you.” Junhong said so softly the man barely heard him.
The man's face lit up ever so slightly and he simply shook his head. Things became quiet and awkward, neither knowing what to say. Himchan shoved his hands in his pockets, clearing his throat. “Why are you out here alone?”
“Yongguk's on a business trip.” He felt embarrassed as the man raised an eyebrow. He knew very well the older was wondering why he was standing in front of the building. To be honest, Junhong himself didn't even know what he was doing.
“Want to come in with me and eat his food?” The man smiled at him. Junhong looked at him as if he'd grown two heads and he shrugged. “Fine, more for me.” He chuckled. The man watched closely as the boy looked down, sensing he wanted to say something.
“Can we talk?” Junhong finally found the courage to speak. “I um, want to ask you some questions. If you're okay with that.” His voice was awkward and the man could tell this was difficult for him to even ask.
Himchan his lips. He didn't like talking about himself or his past. He took in a deep breath. “Okay.” He nodded his head. “Let's go inside. I'm ing freezing.”
Things were completely silent as they walked up the steps to the apartment. Junhong watched as he pulled out a key to unlock the front door. He couldn't help but feel jealous. A part of him still wanted to dislike Himchan just. . . because.
“Yongguk gave me this key so I could stop by and grab something to eat whenever I wanted.” He smiled over at the boy, suddenly feeling the need to explain. “I don't come by very often though.” It was true. Himchan thought he had visited his friend's apartment more times in the last few months than he had in years.
The younger didn't reply as they stepped onto the elevator. Thing were silent again as they walked towards Yongguk's empty apartment. Himchan unlocked the door and allowed him in first. The apartment was dark and cold and Junhong didn't like it. It didn't feel right without Yongguk.
Himchan the lights. “Does your foster mother mind that you're out so late?”
The younger awkwardly rubbed his arm. “I sneak out so. . .”
The man nodded as he walked into the kitchen, motioning for the younger to the follow him. He watched as the man went through Yongguk's refrigerator for something to eat. He eventually decided on an oven pizza.
The boy hesitantly sat down at the table once the older man the stove. He couldn't help but notice some similarities between Yongguk and him. They seemed so utterly different but there were similarities in their actions and the way they moved. He wondered how long they'd been friends. He ignored his jealously; reminding himself not to be childish.
Himchan sat down across from him. “Well.” He took in a deep breath. “What do you want to ask?”
The boy's mind suddenly went blank. He didn't know what he wanted to ask. He didn't feel like he had a right to ask anything.
Himchan watched him closely for a moment before he decided to speak. “My parents killed themselves when I was seven. They were having money problems and the loan sharks were threatening them more and more everyday. We were going to lose our home and everything in it. They just snapped and gave up, I guess.” He looked up thoughtfully. “I was immediately placed in foster care as my grandparents had already passed away. I was moved around a lot. Honestly, I had good foster families but I rebelled. I hated them. I hated everyone.”
Junhong nodded slowly to show that he was listening as the man continued. “I was placed with a rather wealthy family. They wanted me because I was good publicity. Anyway, I met Yongguk when I was fourteen. I hated his guts. He was cocky, arrogant and annoying as so I punched him in the face the first day I met him.” He laughed at the memory.
The boy found it almost impossible to picture Yongguk like that. He was nothing like that now. He was quiet, composed and caring. “Was he really?”
“Yes. He was so annoying.” Himchan rolled his eyes before quietly chuckling. “Yongguk and I were placed together for a project at school and we became friends like that. He was actually a lot better outside of school. We drifted apart really quickly when I was moved to another foster home and another school district after a horrible fight at school.” He sighed softly.
“Did Yongguk stop talking to you because you moved or-”
The man shook his head. “No. I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.” He looked away. “He had gotten a girlfriend, the girl he ended up marrying, and a reputation he needed to keep clean. I knew I would have tainted it.”
He trailed off for what felt like an eternity. “I could've had it made. I could have gotten a really good job at my wealthy foster family's business but I was stupid. After I was moved, I dropped out of school and got into the wrong crowd and things got worse from then on. People tried to help me, they did. But, I thought I could do everything by myself. I thought I was invincible.”
Junhong felt hesitant with his next question. “Can't you. . . stop?”
Himchan finally looked back at him before smiling weakly. “I can't.”
“. . . Why?”
“It's who I am.” His voice was slightly hoarse and Junhong could tell he was having a hard time holding back tears. “I'm Kim Himchan; a e addicted to drugs. I can't change it. I lost my chance. I made myself like this.”
Junhong jumped hearing the timer on the microwave go off.
“Don't become like me.” Himchan ignored the sound as he continued to speak, quickly regaining his composure. “Yongguk wants to help you. He truly cares about you. Don't ignore his help.”
The man stood up and walked towards the microwave, turning off the timer.
“Can I ask one more thing?”
“Go ahead.” The man said without looking at him, grabbing some oven mittens from a drawer.
“When did you and Yongguk start talking again?”
He glanced over his shoulder. “We started talking again when we were sixteen. Not really much, just on and off.”
The boy nodded his head slowly and things were quiet again. It was slightly tense but it was easier to ignore this time. Junhong had so many things running through his head. He had so many more questions but he couldn't get himself to ask any of them. They ate in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Sorry for punching you.” Junhong said softly as he looked at the bruises.
Himchan shook his head. “It's late. You should go home.”
“Home.” He thoughtlessly murmured the word.
The older man rested his cheek in the palm of his hand before gently smiling at the younger. “You're really cute. I see why Yongguk likes you so much.”
Junhong shifted uncomfortably, his face heating up in embarrassment. He stood up. “I'll get going now.” He started to leave the kitchen; suddenly feeling suffocated and nervous.
“Junhong.” Himchan's voice stopped him dead in his tracks and he forced himself to turn around. “There's nothing wrong with your feelings.”
The boy stared at him in confusion. He decided he just needed to get out of there. He hurriedly said goodbye and left the apartment. The man's words kept repeating round and round in his head as he tried to understand what the man meant.
Deep down inside, he knew exactly what Himchan meant.
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