“This is my friend, Himchan.”
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Jealously.
Time seemed to fly by and before Junhong knew it, he'd been working at the hotel for almost a month now. He had even gotten to the point where he enjoyed it though he'd been moved to a different job since he found it far too difficult to speak with the guests when it came to checking them in.
Junhong took care of the pools and would occasionally help out in the spa. Sometimes he would help out behind the desk with Yongguk. He had barely even had time to admire his paycheck before his foster mother took it away from him. He wasn't surprised. He figured she would take the money away but he still felt disappointed that he'd been working so hard only to have it taken away.
He looked around the empty playground. It felt like it had been so long since he'd last been here. He felt so at peace as he gently swung back and forth, waiting for the older man. He was missing the older; he'd already become so used to seeing him all day. He didn't like the days he didn't have to work.
Work gave him a sense of worth. When he didn't work, he felt useless and worthless. But, Yongguk had told him there was no way he would allow him to work everyday. He sighed softly, wondering what would change since he was supposed to go back to school the coming Monday.
He really just wanted to drop out of school. He didn't see how it was doing him any good or the point in it. He shoved his hands into the jacket Yongguk had gifted him.
He breathed in the cold air.
“Junhong.” He heard a very familiar voice.
He opened his eyes and looked towards the older man. He watched as the man walked closer and held out his hand for him to take. “Let's go in; It's far too cold.”
He shook his head. “Just a little while longer.”
Yongguk sighed softly before sitting down on the swing beside his. He glanced over at the boy; wondering why he enjoyed sitting out in the cold so much. But, if it made the younger happy, he wasn't going to question it.
They sat there in silence for a long time; both lost in their own thoughts before Junhong finally got up from the swing and started towards the apartment building; the older man following close behind. Neither said a thing until they were inside the warm apartment.
“Did you buy yourself anything with your check?” Yongguk asked as he removed his own jacket and hung it up on the coat hanger.
The younger shook his head. “My foster mother took it all.”
He wasn't surprised. He knew very well that was the only reason his foster mother had agreed to letting him work at the hotel. He reached over and gently unraveled Junhong's scarf. They held eye contact and suddenly the motion seemed almost intimate.
Yongguk was the first to break eye contact. “I thought she would.” His voice sent shivers down his spine. “So, I didn't tell her the full amount.”
“Really?” Junhong looked at him in surprise. The amount of money in his pay check had already been more than he had ever expected.
He put his hands on the younger boy's shoulders and gently guided him towards the kitchen after they both took off their jackets and shoes.
He let himself be guided before sitting down at the table. He never thought he would but he had missed being in here. He never thought he would be comfortable here but he was. It scared him to feel comfortable and content. He didn't want it to be taken away from him. It always was.
He visibly tensed up and Yongguk furrowed his brows. “What's wrong?”
Junhong snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head.
Yongguk stared at him for a moment before gathering the things he needed to make dinner. He watched the older man in silence. He looked at Yongguk in surprise when he heard the door bell. The older man furrowed his brows, knowing exactly who it was.
He glanced hesitantly. “Wait right here.” He said before hurrying out of the kitchen. He slipped on his shoes before propping open the door and leaving to go down stairs. He wanted to let his friend know that Junhong was over. He met him right as he was heading towards the elevators.
“Hey, Yongguk.” Himchan drawled and moved to get onto the elevator.
“Junhong is here.”
“Who?” Himchan looked at him, laughing when the man narrowed his eyes. “Is he working at the hotel now?”
Yongguk nodded his head. The elevator doors slid open and the two stepped out, walking towards his apartment. He didn't know why but he was feeling extremely anxious that Himchan and Junhong would meet. He didn't know how the boy would react to his friend. He swallowed thickly as he stepped inside his apartment.
Junhong stood up from the table and looked down the hallway towards the door. He frowned deeply when he realized the older man wasn't alone. He rubbed his arms. He watched closely as they walked towards him.
“Junhong.” He sounded a bit hesitant. “This is my friend, Himchan.”
Himchan gave a lazy wave.
Junhong suddenly felt a horrible pang of jealously. His hands curled into fists and he looked towards the floor. He decided right then and there; he hated Himchan. He felt betrayed. The man had told him he had no one else but he lied. He said they were the same; that they had no one else but he had a friend. He tried to calm himself down but he was finding it impossible.
Yongguk glanced at his friend before looking back at the younger boy. He knew something was wrong. He quickly tried to think of a way to ask what was wrong without setting him off. He didn't want this to end badly but he knew Junhong had a temper.
“Junhong.” He called out his name gently.
The younger looked at him and he swore his heart stopped. The boy was staring at him with such anger and hatred that he felt frozen. He didn't know what to say or do. He didn't even know why the boy was reacting like this.
He suddenly pushed past them both; hurrying to get his shoes on before slamming the door behind himself so hard both Yongguk and Himchan jumped in surprise. Yongguk started to go after him but Himchan quickly stopped him. He tried to jerk his arm free, sending his friend a glare.
Himchan ignored it; looking away. “He needs to calm down. Give him some time.”
“I might never see him again!” He hissed.
“You will. Trust me.” He sighed loudly. “He needs to calm down. If you go after him now, he's going to say some really hurtful things.”
Yongguk didn't know what to do. He wanted to go after him, he really did. He wanted to find out what had made the younger so angry. Was it simply because of Himchan? He frowned deeply. His shoulders slumped and he started towards the kitchen, followed by Himchan. He watched as his friend pulled out a chair to sit down before shaking his head.
“I don't care.” He said. “I don't care what he says to me, I need to go after him.” He turned around, leaving the younger man alone in the kitchen.
Himchan sighed; looking around the empty kitchen.
- - - - - - - - - -
Much to Yongguk's surprise, he found him outside the apartment, sitting on the steps with his face hidden behind his knees. He hesitantly reached out to touch the younger on the shoulder. Junhong didn't even flinch.
“Junhong.” He moved in front of him. He didn't know what to do or say; he didn't even know why he was angry. All he knew is he wanted to fix this. He could see the boy's body shaking and he wasn't sure if he was crying or just cold. He gently put his hands on his shoulders. “What's wrong?”
The younger didn't look up. Instead, he shook his head and held himself tighter. It looked like he was literally trying to curl up and die. Yongguk smoothed down his hair. “Please tell me.” He whispered. “I want to know how I can fix it.”
Junhong finally looked up. His face was red as he wiped away tears. “It's nothing. Sorry.” He forced himself to speak.
Yongguk stared at him for a long while before pulling him into his embrace. He pulled back slightly when he heard the younger speaking.
“I thought you weren't going to come after me this time.” His voice was barely above a whisper.
The man nodded his head slowly. “Sorry it took me so long.” He whispered. He still didn't know what had just happened and he knew the boy wasn't willing to tell him. He just figured it was a mood swing. “Come on, you're not wearing your jacket. Let's go back inside.”
“I'm too tired.” He shook his head. “I just want to go back to my foster home and go to bed.”
“Are you sure?” Yongguk didn't want to let him go just yet. He wanted to watch him for a few hours and make sure he was okay.
Junhong nodded his head.
“I'll drive you home then.” He stood up straight, sighing softly. “Do you want to come in or just wait inside the lobby while I get my keys and your jacket?”
“I'll wait.”
He figured the younger would say that.
- - - - - - - - - -
Junhong felt so embarrassed with himself. He had no right to get angry or. . . jealous. But, he couldn't help it. His heart ached at the thought of the older man caring about someone more than him. He felt sick and emotionally drained, closing his eyes and resting in the seat of the man's luxury car.
The music playing on the radio started to soothe him and he drifted off to sleep until Yongguk pulled into his foster home's driveway.
“You're starting school tomorrow, correct?” He glanced over at the younger.
Junhong rubbed his eyes and nodded; still half asleep.
“You still want to continue working at the hotel, correct?” Yongguk turned slightly so he was facing the younger.
He nodded his head again without any words.
“You'll be working in the evening from now on then.” He smiled softly. “From five to eight.”
“What about you?” He asked quietly.
“I'll be there.” He reached over and ruffled the boy's hair, chuckling when he quickly shook it back into place. “Don't worry. Bring your school work and I'll help you with it.”
“I want to drop out.” He looked away from Yongguk.
The man pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Just try, okay? Give it one more shot.” He watched as the younger sighed and nodded his head. “I'm so proud of you, Junhong.”
The boy bit his lower lip to keep from smiling. He felt his face heating up and his stomach doing flips. He couldn't help it as a smile appeared on his lips. He'd never had someone say they were proud of him. He slowly looked over at him. “Thank you.” He whispered.
Yongguk smiled back. He simply shook his head. “Have a good night.”
Junhong nodded slowly. “Goodnight.” He got out of the car, giving a small wave before turning and going towards his foster home.
- - - - - - - - - -
Yongguk had expected his friend to have already left but he found him sitting on the couch in his living room flipping through the channels. He sat down on the other end of the couch and stared blankly at the TV. It was quiet for a long time before he decided to speak.
“He wants to drop out of school.”
Himchan muted the TV and turned to face him. He'd dropped out of school when he was Junhong's age too. “Ah, really?”
“I don't want him to.” Yongguk rubbed his forehead in frustration. “I want him to get a good education but I don't want him to be miserable.”
He wanted Junhong to stay in school; he wanted him to at least finish high school. He was torn. He knew the boy didn't like school and had a lot of troubles with it from one of their brief conversations during work. Even though he wanted him to stay in school, most of all he wanted Junhong to be happy. As long as he was around, the younger would always have a job and a place to live- he was going to make sure of that but he still wanted the boy to try. He wanted him to see that he could do it. He knew Junhong could succeed in school if he just had a little bit of help and guidance.
Himchan stared at him for a long while. “How is he doing at the hotel?”
“He's good, actually. He works hard but he's not really good at communicating with the guests.” Yongguk replied, a small smile on his lips.
“What shift does he work?”
“He'll be working during the evening from now on.” He looked at his friend in interest. Himchan usually considered those details as worthless information. He didn't know why he was suddenly asking him. “Why?”
Himchan looked at him and shrugged. “No real reason.”
And he wasn't sure if he believed Himchan or not. He decided to let it go as his exhaustion suddenly took over. “Are you staying here tonight?”
Himchan shook his head. “Nope, just came for some food.”
“I'm going to bed.” He stood up. “Feel free to stay though. You know where the guest bedroom is.”
“What if I want to sleep in your bed?” He said in a teasing voice.
Yongguk looked at him like he was crazy before shaking his head and heading towards his bedroom. "Goodnight, Himchan."
He didn't get very much sleep that night.
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