“Thank you.”
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Alive.
Junhong stared back into his reflection, taking in how different he looked. Seeing himself with perfectly styled hair and fitted clothing just felt weird. The real him didn't know anything about styling hair or dressing nicely and he couldn't help but wonder if other people could tell too. The teen breathed in deeply, telling himself that everything was going to be okay. He didn't want to embarrass Yongguk; just the thought made him want to go back to his foster home and hide under his sheets.
He turned around finally, hearing Jongup knocking on the door to ask him if he was okay and it was only then that he realized how long he'd been in the bathroom looking over himself. He hesitantly opened the door and the older teen clapped his hands together. “Wow, you seriously look like a celebrity!” Junhong could feel himself make a face at the compliment before turning around to pick up his old clothing and he couldn't help but smile as his friend continued to compliment him, even though he didn't believe it.
The boy followed his friend closely and he felt himself heating up when Jongup's mother started firing off compliments towards him. It was so embarrassing but it felt good to hear and he wondered if Yongguk would think the same. He felt his heart beat a little faster at just the thought and then the anxiety was back; what if Yongguk didn't like it? Junhong couldn't get himself to look up from the floor, feeling so undeserving of her compliments before he finally managed out a soft 'thank you'.
Jongup's mother had been more than welcoming from the moment he'd first set foot inside, to the point where Jongup had even had to make her sit down because she was so intent on fixing him something to drink and eat. He'd so felt guilty, he didn't deserve her kindness at all. Junhong couldn't help but envy all the other foster kids that had stayed here, wondering what exactly they'd done to be so lucky. This was really the place he'd always dreamed about. Safe, warm and full of love with parents and siblings.
Junhong wondered if it was just the fact that he was a guest that made the home feel like a home to him before deciding he simply didn't know what that word meant. It finally sank in a little, that maybe he would never have a place that felt like home – that maybe there really was no meaning to that word. It was just a word. Nothing more, nothing less.
The two teens walked towards the door in silence, neither really knowing what to say as Junhong opened the box to his new shoes and pulled them on, carefully tying the laces before getting up from the floor and hesitantly looking at his friend. “Do I look okay?” He asked, subconsciously reaching up to touch his styled hair.
“Just like a model.” Jongup grinned up at him before looking towards the door when they heard a horn beep, both knowing it was the taxi Yongguk had sent for Junhong. He could feel his heart racing and it seemed like Jongup knew what he was thinking as he gave the younger a quick hug. “Don't forget, if they're mean we can egg their house, okay?” Junhong couldn't help but smile at that before thanking the older for helping him out and leaving for the taxi.
He clenched and unclenched his hands, breathing in shakily, his nervousness truly setting in once he was seated in the backseat of the taxi and headed towards Yongguk's apartment. He thought back over his quick phone call with Yongguk, remembering how the older had sounded a little surprised when he told him he was at Jongup's place. The man had questioned him a little bit, interested in what exactly he was doing there but Junhong had refused to answer any of his questions, wanting to keep it a surprise.
Junhong allowed himself to look out the window of the taxi, hoping it would distract him from his thoughts but it didn't help. He had so many questions running throughout his head but he didn't have any of the answers to them. He was tormenting himself, thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong and he was regretting ever even agreeing to this. The thought of being in a room full of such elegant and beautiful people was overwhelming, even more so than usual, simply because they were Yongguk's family.
He didn't know why it mattered but it did. He wanted to make a good impression on those people but he wasn't certain they would be able to tell he was out of place. There was a part of Junhong that wondered why he even thought that – he felt so small and insignificant; maybe they wouldn't even notice him. Why would they notice someone like him? His thoughts were finally cut short as the hotel came into view and Junhong felt his heart pounding behind his ribcage.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Yongguk flicked his cigarette ash into the ashtray on top of the trashcan as he waited for the taxi with Junhong, his mind racing with a million thoughts. He couldn't help but feel a little anxious, wondering how the night would go. He wanted Junhong to make a good impression on his parents before he even brought up the idea of fostering but it wasn't just that – he wanted to see if the boy could get along with his family.
He sighed softly as he finished his cigarette and snubbed it in the ashtray. His parents weren't exactly the most nonjudgmental people and that was the most worrisome thing to Yongguk. He wasn't ashamed or worried about Junhong; not at all. He wanted his own parents to be kind and loving towards the boy. But before he could think about it any longer, the taxi was pulling up in front of the hotel. He hurried down the steps, stopping for a moment when the boy appeared from the taxi.
They held eyes until Junhong's face turned red and he stared down at the ground, chewing at his chapped lips. “You didn't have to do this. I told you it didn't matter-” Yongguk said once he reached the boy, pausing when a look of disappointment took over Junhong's face, immediately making the man feel guilty. “But, you look so handsome.” He said, taking a moment to look over the boy and how well dressed he was.
He breathed in deeply and forced himself to look away when he felt himself staring for longer than what was necessary. “Very handsome.” Yongguk thoughtlessly murmured, watching as Junhong's face lit back up and he couldn't help but smile a little bit as he carefully complimented him a little more.
“Thank you.” Junhong said breathlessly, his cheeks a soft red and hands nervously reaching up to touch his own perfectly styled hair. “Jongup helped out with everything. . .”
Yongguk smiled and nodded, subconsciously happy to know why Junhong was even at that kid's place. It had taken him by surprise since the teen normally didn't go anywhere other than school, the hotel or the playground. The surge of protectiveness he'd felt had bothered him more than he was willing to admit but he told himself it wasn't anything to worry about. It was normal to feel worried about someone you considered a brother right? He was broken out of his thoughts by Junhong's soft and quiet voice. “I didn't want to embarrass you.”
Yongguk quickly shook his head, his hand reaching up to ruffle the boy's hair before stopping himself when he remembered how perfectly styled it was. He dropped his hand back down by his side and smiled. “You never embarrass me.” He said, his tone of voice was so honest and Junhong felt his heart speed up a little. It felt good to here, to be reassured and it was true – No matter what he wore or how his hair was styled, Yongguk had never felt embarrassed of the boy before. “We better get going.” He said, watching as anxiety quickly took over Junhong's beautiful features. The man chuckled softly. “Don't be nervous.” Yongguk said gently, putting his hand on the boy's lower back and guiding him towards his expensive car.
Junhong slid into the car, keeping his hands in his lap and sitting up straight. His heart was pounding so hard and he felt like he was going to be sick. There was a part of him that just wished he would get sick, just so he could get out of this. He didn't belong, he wouldn't fit in. Why was he even doing this? “Hey-” The boy looked down at the warm hand on his knee, breathing in deeply as he felt himself heating up again. “I promise it'll be okay.” Junhong forced himself to look away from the hand and slowly nodded his head.
Yongguk pulled back his hand, staring at Junhong a little longer before he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot of his hotel. Honestly, he had no idea how the night was going to go but all he could do was hope for the best.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Junhong could feel his hands shaking and his legs felt like jello as he followed Yongguk inside the most luxurious home the boy had ever seen. He remember how he'd first felt at the older man's apartment – so out of place and almost as if he was dirtying the place. With this place, it was so much worse. He felt so much more out of place and he just wanted to leave. Everything was so pristine and clean, it left Junhong to wonder if anyone even really lived here. All the boy knew was that he didn't belong here.
He walked so closely behind Yongguk, almost as if he was trying to hide behind the man even though he knew that was useless because of his height. He looked over in surprise as a maid greeted them and asked for their coats. These people had maids in their homes. He moved closer to Yongguk after he taking off the coat he'd been given. “Yongguk.” His voice was barely above a whisper and it seemed the man hadn't heard him as he started walking again, the teen just a couple of steps behind.
“Hey, mom.” Yongguk said once they were in the kitchen, watching as his mother set things up on the counter with the help of a worker. Mrs. Bang looked up in surprise before a big smile appeared on her lips. Her gaze trailed off and she was looking at Junhong in interest. “This is Junhong.” He quickly introduced them, knowing fully well she wanted to know who he was. “He works at the hotel and he's a friend of mine.”
She continued to study him and Yongguk couldn't help but feel a little guilty towards Junhong. He knew how bad the boy felt right now and it felt like there was nothing he could do to help or comfort him, especially not with how she was looking him over. “Nice to meet you.” She finally smiled and the man nearly let out a sigh of relief that she was finally done studying him. “How old are you?” She asked.
Junhong felt so awkward and uncomfortable but he didn't want to embarrass Yongguk so he forced himself to speak, his voice cracking a little as he first spoke. “S-sixteen.” He replied with his eyes downcast. She chuckled and nodded her head before telling the two to make themselves at home and that everyone else would be arriving soon.
The two walked back into the grand living room without saying a word. It wasn't until Yongguk turned and fully looked at the boy that he saw just how uncomfortable and anxious he was. He could still remember Junhong saying he didn't belong, that first time the teen had ever visited his apartment. Yongguk's heart ached at just the mere thought of Junhong feeling like trash. “Are you okay?” He asked and when the boy didn't answer, he continued. “You shouldn't be so ashamed of yourself.”
Junhong's eyes dropped again and he breathed in softly. “Sorry.” He whispered, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his cardigan.
The older man shook his head. “Don't say sorry when you haven't done anything wrong.” He put his hand on Junhong's shoulder. “Tonight will be a lot more fun if you can relax.” Yongguk smiled at him, hoping the younger would relax if only just a little bit. “We're going to have dinner and then take my father's yacht out and watch some fire works. Have you ever been on a boat before?” Junhong shook his head but he couldn't get any words to come out. “I think you'll enjoy it.” He smiled. “So, just relax, okay?”
Junhong nodded his head. He wanted to relax, he really did but he just felt so out of place here. Why was he even here to begin with? There really wasn't any real reason for him to be here other than Yongguk had simply wanted him to come. The thought made his stomach do flips and a pleasant warmth spread throughout his body. It was a good feeling and it made him feel so wanted. He loved feeling wanted by Yongguk.
It made him feel a little better that the man wasn't ashamed of him. Now that he thought about it, Yongguk had never once been ashamed of him. Even if he wasn't dressed in the nicest of clothes and even if his hair was messy – the man had never once been ashamed to be seen with him. Junhong bit his lower lip to keep from smiling.
The realization made Junhong fall a little more in love with Yongguk, if that was even possible.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Yongguk watched from a distance as his sisters and aunts fawned over Junhong, pinching his cheeks and squealing over how cute he was. He leaned against the wall, meeting eyes with the boy. Junhong's face was so flushed but he looked so happy. The older smiled at him before breaking the eye contact and sighing pleasantly. It was a great thing to know, to be certain that Junhong would be able to get along with his family. Most of all, he was just so happy to see the boy being praised and adored. That was something he knew Junhong had never had before.
“What are you smiling so hard about?” Yongguk looked over at his mother before simply shaking his head as she moved to stand beside him. Mrs. Bang took a sip of her champagne before speaking. “How did you meet this young man?”
“It's a really long story.” He pursed his lips in thought, not really knowing how to explain their meeting. “I guess by chance?” He trailed off for a moment before turning to fully face his mother. “Junhong doesn't have any parents, he's a foster child. I just kind of took him under my wing.”
Mrs. Bang opened to ask more but before she could, Yongguk heard his father telling everyone they needed to be ready to leave in a few minutes. The man couldn't help but feel a little relieved. He needed to talk about fostering with them but not yet. He needed privacy and time. Tonight was only to make sure Junhong and his family would be able to get along. He quietly excused himself and made his way towards the boy, stealing him away from his sisters and aunts.
“Hey.” He greeted and put his arm around Junhong's shoulders. Junhong quietly imitated his greeting, neither saying anything else until they were inside Yongguk's expensive car. “How do you feel?” The older man asked.
“I'm. . .” Junhong stared at his hands, a faint smile appearing on his lips. “I'm happy.”
Yongguk couldn't help but smile at that. That was all he had wanted – for Junhong to feel happy, safe and comfortable. The boy belonged in the family and he was certain of that now. The next step would be to bring it up to his parents. He still wasn't exactly sure how but he wasn't so nervous about it now.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Junhong had been more than just a little bit nervous to get on the boat and even more nervous when the boat started moving out into the lake. All he could picture was it sinking and he didn't know how to swim. He nervously clenched and unclenched his hands, just wanting this to be over with now. He'd learn one thing tonight – he really hated boats.
“Are you okay?” Yongguk's voice broke him out of his thoughts. He nodded his head, not wanting to worry the older but it was written all over his face. He was absolutely terrified. “You're so cute sometimes.” The man thoughtlessly murmured before putting his arm around Junhong's shoulders. “It's okay.” He didn't know what else to say but it didn't seem like anything else was necessary as the boy relaxed and leaned into him.
Junhong's face felt so warm. He really felt like his whole body was burning up and his stomach was doing so many flips. He wanted to blame it on the boat but he knew the reason he was like this was because he was being held so closely, so tightly to Yongguk.
The teen allowed himself to close his eyes, breathing in the fresh air mixed with Yongguk's cologne. He didn't feel wrong, he didn't feel out of place. He just felt so happy, like he was floating on air. He felt alive.
The feeling was so overwhelming but so very welcoming and he wanted it to last. Just him and Yongguk, that was all he wanted. He'd never wanted something so much as he wanted this. He knew it was stupid and that maybe it was almost childish but he made a wish that they would always be together.
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