Chapter 28: Of A Different Reality   Chapter 28 Theme Song 1 :  The Romantic by Two Months   Chapter 28 Theme Song 2 : The Romantic (Acoustic ver) by Dalmatian   Instrumental 6  

 

 

the time has come. please breathe in breathe out and spare me the curses...yes, this is the ending that most probly will disappoint you if you had any expectations.

 

 

 

♥♥♥     "I can't choose any of these girls. They can't compare to her. She's just different. I've decided. My final choice is Oh Seungah."   The crews became silent and even cameramen oppas stopped filming and stared at him like he's crazy.   "Hey, where are you going?!" PDnim suddenly shouted.   "I'm going to find Seungah. I'm done with this stupid filming."   Ommo, if I knew somebody actually liked me that much, I'd have toughen up and stayed instead of running away like a coward. What do I do? Should I go back to Jeju to meet him? Or should I wait at the airport for him to arrive? But...       "Seungah unnie!!! I said...WAKE UP!!!"   "Hu...huh?"   I shut my ears with both hands and squinted my eyes as sunlight invaded the whole room and blinded my eyes that were already hard to open. "Noeul-ah, please...close the curtains back." I slurred the words, barely awake.   "Unnie, wake up!"   "Just...five more minutes?"   "NO!!!" I felt my body being lifted up but I really couldn't be bothered. How could she interrupt me at this time? Then she suddenly started tickling me.   "Okay, okay. Aish...stop it! I woke up, okay. You win. Aish. What are you doing here anyway?" I grumbled as she clapped her hands and cheered for her own victory.    Not fair. I haven't even got to see his face in that dream. Well, his voice didn't sound familiar at all anyway. It's just a random dream. It's just so unfair that even in dream, I couldn't get somebody. Okay, I almost got...until this kid...aish!   Maybe I kept thinking about Jeju too much. I turned to my nightstand and admired the medium sized frame with collage of Jeju Island's sceneries, the souvenir I brought back among tons of other pictures and amateurish recordings I took. Maybe it's the memories. Maybe it's the guilt.   "Seungah unnie! What are you waiting for? Why didn't you get up and go shower yet? Yah, manager oppa will get mad if you're late!"   "Late?...for what? Ya, are you daydreaming or what? It's Sunday and we don't have any stage performance today. I'm so tired. How come you're not?"   "Unnie." Suddenly a warm palm landed on my forehead and remained there for a few seconds. Oh, I know what she's going to say.   "Unnie, you're not sick. Palli!"   In a little less than fifteen minutes, I was already inside the car with manager oppa. We had been quite busy lately with performances at random universities and festivals and honestly, nothing could make us happier. We've been waiting for the moment we'd be making comeback or recording new songs or just anything. Actually, i'm sick of doing nothing but knitting even if I love seeing the products of my own hands. Or going on dating shows. How come it's always me who's shoved to these dating shows? It felt like it hadn't been long from the time I was given a fake boyfriend in Hidden Track Romance before I was called to be in Romantic & Idol. How come they didn't cast Woori or Jaekyung? They're more popular with guys and can win everyone's attention easily with their presence. Or Hyunyoungie or Jisookie, they have more aegyo that guys love. Do I look more fitting and pretty for the girlfriend or dating roles? Or do I look like someone who could never get a real relationship? Well...   "Oppa, what's the schedule actually? I don't remember seeing any schedule yesterday?"   "Not really a schedule, just meeting.  At TvN."   "T...vN?" I echoed. Flashes of image ensued and followed the three letters.   Contrary to what I was hoping, he only nodded without any explanation.   "Uhm, what meeting? Why aren't the others following?"   "It's about that show you did...when was it...early October right?...about a month ago. Romantic something."   "The Romantic & Idol?"   "Ahh, that one."   What meeting is still needed? The filming had wrapped up long ago. Although I don't think it has aired yet, not that I have time to follow TV shows anyway, lately.   I still remember the time I came to this building alone without my members or manager oppa for the first time, when I was offered to be participating in this dating show. It was awkward before, when I had to pretend to be dating someone in a show. But here, all the participants were idols, which means we're in the same line, we'd understand each other situations better and I really thought something real could develop.   Well, I was wrong. Real relationships aren't as simple as I thought they should be, even friendships. But I realized before it was too late.   "Anyeonghaseyo." I bowed once the secretary led me into the meeting room, and there were faces I recognized. Almost forgot, but still recognized. PD-nim, Writer-nim and Editor-nim. I couldn't help feeling self conscious at the way they stared at me with eah pair of eyes that tells of different stories.   "Am I late? I hope not."   "No, no. Have a seat." And I immediately plopped down the nearest seat at the meeting table that could seat about twelve people, I guess.   "How are you, Seungah-ssi?" The writer who I remembered as probably not liking me that much asked with a kind smile.   "Yes? Uhm, I'm good." I smiled back nervously and made sure to nod my head to all of them to reassure them that I am indeed, alright. Unlike the mess they saw, that last time they saw me in person before this moment...when I begged to leave the filming, even though I knew it was unethical, unprofessional, and not something I intended to do. I thought I could endure it and carried on till the end for everyone's sake. But laying on the bed in the dark, on that final night, trying to imagine what would happen the next day...I grew more and more afraid. Afraid of believing again only to be tricked once more, afraid of the possibility of seeing another person ended hurt even if I don't really like her that much, afraid of letting myself succumbed into a momentary infatuation or crush that was full of doubts, afraid of harbouring hopes on something that had been made clear, that it would never happen. Afraid of ending up alone...no, that was what I was scared of in the beginning.   I was more afraid to wait and face that final moment. Maybe I had used up all of my courage in the previous days, that all left for the final selection...was none.   "Actually..." PDnim cleared his throat, before he continued. "...The Romantic & Idol will be broadcasted starting from tonight."   "Really? That's great!" I clapped my hands, still not quite able to understand the relevance of this meeting. Maybe they just wanted to inform me so I could promote to my fans through SNS?   "You didn't...say anything to anyone, right?" Editor-nim asked in hesitance and I immediately shook my head.   "Of course not. It's against the contract."   "Good, because...there's a change of plan after we discussed about this and reviewed back the whole filming."   "What...what change?" I glanced at each of them, one after another, looking for an answer.   "We will only air the first five days of the filming on television."   "Really?" I wanted to ask, 'why'...but I was scared. What if I was the reason they had to change the plan and cut off and flushed down all of the whole team's and casts' hardwork into the drain? What if everyone's angry at me now?   "Yes. First of all, we had tell the press that The Romantic & Idol's shooting only took four days and three nights. We didn't realize it then, but after reviewing and discussing with the rest of production department here, we realized ten days would be too much for the viewers to not notice. You know idols have young fans, they will get restless easily to know their idols went on for date-trip for too long. You know, real feelings could develop in ten days." Writer Lee explained it with a soft smile on her face. I nodded, acknowledging the logics of her words, with Minjun oppa and Jei re-emerging in my head. She's right. They were in love, and things got serious starting on the seventh day, probably, if not earlier.   "Besides, there were so many dramas happening in the second half of our trip there, that were...beyond our control. The ball wasn't in anyone's court and our viewers, they just want simple, heartfelt romance. This is the first season, a trial...and we can't afford to risk the audience with too much dramas. So, we've decided to end with the fake final selection activity, as the real final selection in the real broadcast. Which means...you will end with JJ Project's JB, on television."   "Oh...okay. I understand." I nodded, remembering that horrible day when that kid admitted that everything he said during the fake final selection was just because he couldn't get Jei or Miss Nam. That was on the sixth day, and none of the viewers will ever get to see that part. And onwards.   "JYP and Loen wasn't too happy to let us aired the remaining parts of the the show either, after 2PM's Jun.K and Fiestar's Jei scandal if you still remember. I should've been more specified with the missions. Aish." Writer Lee seemed genuinely regretful about it. Of course she would be upset, half of her hardwork in planning and writing the show would go to waste.   "I understand. Don't worry. I'm sure...the show will do well." I tried to console her but not much idea came to my mind.   "Please inform your company as well so they won't accidentally leak out about the ten days filming. Or we will all be in trouble."   "Okay. Umm, but what about the others? Did they have personal meeting like this too?"   "We did meeting with them yesterday, only Jun.K and Jihyun couldn't make it so we spoke to their representatives."   "Oh." I kept my eyes on the table after exchanging brief eye contacts with them, to let them know that I'm listening.   "We called you for a separate meeting, because we figured...you might not be ready to meet them again...after that final selection, right?"   The gentle words and voice made me look up, I had vowed to not cry again after that night after that date with Minjun oppa. But Writer Lee's consideration for my situation made my eyes started to well up a bit. But I bit my lower lip and calmed my ownself down before I could think of what to answer her.   "Thank you. I really can't thank you all enough. And I'm sorry because I couldn't go through it to the end. But I'm curious, who ended up with who? Since the real ending would not be broadcasted on TV."   PDnim and Writer-nim looked at each other, exchanging smiles before PDnim broke the silence and their err, meaningful glances to each other?   "The final selection was...absurd, to say the least." He laughed a bit, as if reminiscing the moment. "But I can't tell you now. Actually, we're not just calling you to talk about this show. We're in discussion now...but if the broadcast is well received by audience, we're planning for an after-show. And we hope...you would be able to join other casts by then."   "After-show?"   "We haven't decide yet, it depends on ratings. But we're planning for either a talk show where everyone will share about their real feelings or any behind the scene incidents and talk about each other, or, we might go for special season about what happens to the couples after this season ended."   "But...I didn't end up with anyone." I blundered out the truth. The moment I recorded the video message, with much difficulties to keep myself laughing and acting cheerful, was still fresh in my mind, even my final choice.   "Seungah-ssi, but in the official broadcast, you will end with JB, remember the fake final selection?"   "Ommo, I'm sorry, I already forgot, we'd end at the fifth day, wait no...the audience will know it, as the fourth day." I reminded myself aloud.   "We're sorry about it." Editor-nim who had been silent finally spoke again.   "No, no. It's okay. I understand. Everyone just wanted the best for the show, this is the first time this dating show for idols is made, so everyone must be nervous. I'm honoured that I get to be a part of the first batch." I smiled. "And I'm sure there will be more seasons to come. But...I'm sorry I don't think I'll be able to join the 'after-show'." I tried to refuse the offer as politely as possible.    "But don't you want to know about the final selection?"   Of course I want to know. I've made friends with them at least for that ten days. For that ten days, we became relevant to each other more than we ever had, more than we ever will. Even more than our own group members, at that time. Why wouldn't I want to know? Of course I want to. But if the price is to meet them, things might get too awkward, especially after they watched that video message. Maybe they'll made fun of me, but what if they're mad that I ruined it? All I wanted was to do something for myself even for once. And that was what I did.   "I...well...it's okay. I'm sorry."   "Well, the show is just starting to air tonight, we're thinking of airing eight episodes if tonight's response is good, but if not, we'll just air it all i