Chapter 21: Of Starless Night & Backyard Confessions  Chapter 21 Theme Song: I Believe by Rainbow  

 

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"Good night."

  "Ne. Thank you for sending us." I bowed at the driver oppa. JB had requested to stop before we arrived, said he wanted to take a walk. Huh. Right. Whatever. Something about him really ticks me off. It's like...what he presented to us, isn't what he is. Okay, I mean...all of us are like that. But he seems like a scheming kid who couldn't find his way to achieve what he wanted to, and resorted to hurt other people. In fact, he didn't even look like he knew what he really wanted. We're at the ninth day already. And tomorrow is the end. If he's still so unsure until now...wouldn't it mean, there's a girl in the same position as him either?   Well, even I couldn't be sure anymore. The fake final selection session, should've been the real one. It should've ended at day five. If it did, I wouldn't feel so unsure of my fate now. Everything was so beautiful until the sixth day. Until Hyungsik started to be other girls' partner. And I finally faced what I feared the most. What I thought wouldn't affect me, but did. I didn't know what to do. Now I could only hope that he still remember all the times we spent together. I wanted to talk to him openly about this. Five days ago, I wouldn't think twice to go for it, anything on my mind, I didn't feel afraid to ask him, but now...now I have no more confidence. I tried to struggle to not drown and not be seen by him anymore. But at the same time, what if he really had changed heart to someone else? What if even if he sees me, his heart has shifted away?   I shouldn't be paranoid about it, it's not like anything that happens here, would be extended to our real lives, once we wake up from this ten day long dream, nothing is important anymore. I keep reminding that to myself. Yet I'm still being this way. I hate myself.   When I reached the door, I suddenly heard his voice. And Mir's voice. Suddenly I felt scared. He sounded just like the normal Hyungsik...but who knows if...no...I couldn't get inside now. So I decided to go to the backyard to calm myself and regain confidence. I needed the courage to face the truth.   "Oh? Seungah unnie, you're here?" I almost didn't notice her, since she was wearing all black tracksuit complete with hoodie covering her hair, and staring at the dark, night sky silently.   "There's no stars tonight." She answered a question I didn't ask. I joined her sight seeing session and sat on an unoccupied bench near hers, trying to find what's so interesting about the sky tonight.   "Unnie, have you been...drinking?"   "Do I look drunk?" She turned away from the sky, narrowing her eyes at me and smirked.   "Unnie, you shouldn't have drink without me!" I teased, fully aware now that she wasn't drunk at all, neither did she drink any alcohol.   "Nam Jihyun, did you have fun with your date?"    "How about you, unnie? Did you have fun?"   "Yeah." She nodded over and over again, grinning. So, his heart really changed...to her?   "Jihyun-ah...do you hate me? You hate me right?" She was smiling but not looking at me. What was she expecting for me to say? Is there any hidden camera?   "I hate you." She stopped me in my track to answer her question. I was stunned to even respond to her bold statement. That's some guts she has. Is this a prank? Seriously.   "I hate you because you're so lucky. Your story here is a fairy tale. We're already on a beautiful vacation, and you got a fairy tale to top that. Do you know how much I loved fairy tale and always dreamed of becoming a princess?" She turned to me again, this time without a smile. And I realized this was no hidden camera trick. It was a confession.   "Why do you think I'm lucky? Why would you envy me when you're way cooler? No matter what people say or do, you don't look affected at all. I..." I hesitated whether to go the truth route, or the proper route. But maybe, what she said spurred me to just say whatever I wanted to say. "I wish I could be like you. The guys approach you so easily. The girls seem to love you too. Frankly, I hated you too. How you could make everyone comfortable. How...you could make them change." I suddenly felt ashamed, afraid of exposing what I really felt. But can you blame me? She's the one who started it.   "Hyungsik never changed. And if he did, it was for you. He might discover new dimensions or options along the path...but if you trust him and what you two had together, there's no