Chapter 1: Of Jealousy & Loneliness Chapter 1 Theme Song: Lonely by Spica     ♥♥♥   "Oh SeungAh. What are you doing here?"   I knew that voice. Little Miss Popular. Ugh. Okay, control yourself, Seunga, don't show your face now. I took one last breath and turned around with the most unaffected small smile, well, I hope my acting skills are decent enough at this time. I've been stuck with her for almost a week, just sitting at the sideline, watching all the boys running around like idiots, acting like her butler boys who actually just wanna get a piece of her....forget it.   "Nam Ji Hyun. I'm just....can't you see? I'm...cleaning the place. Duh."   "But...the place is already cleaned."   "Really?" Uh'oh...she's right. Ugh, can't she see I just don't want to be in same space with her anymore? I'm just sick of it.   "Oh SeungAh."   "What?"   "Do you...hate me? Or...angry at me?" she asked dumbly, or as you'd word it, pure and innocently. Keh.   Boy, am I glad I wasn't drinking any water at that time or I would've spit them all over her baby face and her snow white fluffy skin for that question, not unintentionally of course. That, only happens in dramas.   Although everything that happened here does felt like we're in a drama.   The thing is,......I'm tired of living a drama. See that Miss Nam Jihyun? Miss Overload-popularity-throuh-the-roof? I'm tired of pretending to smile at her all the time while hurting inside, I'm tired of pretending to be cool seeing she gets the attention of every guy who had just started to like me a bit, even without having to wag a finger while I had to work my off jumping in front of the camera just to let those guys know that I exist too. And that I'd make a good girlfriend too, no, better than good. If only any of them give me a chance. I'm tired of pretending to be okay everytime my men who had smiled at me, held my hands, told me they like my personality, all left the moment she came into their view. Nam Jihyun. Everytime, the same thing repeats itself, and I'm tired of pretending to be fine with it anymore.   Because I'm not. I'm not fine with it. My heart crumbles little by little every time the same repeats. Tears are about to fall off these eyes, replacing this fake 'I'm okay, I don't care, I'm cool' smiles on my lips. God knows how hard I'm trying to hold every piece of myself to not fall apart and break down. I just need to keep surviving until tomorrow. Then I'd be back to my normal life, and I can just assume that all that happened this past six days, as merely a nightmare. One I'd never have again, and wouldn't have to worry about. I suppose, since I've succeeded to survive up until now, another day wouldn't be too much. But still, the last thing I need now is to see her face, her sweet honey smile, and droopy doe eyes, so-called innocent pout. Save it all for the men, thank you.   "Oh Seunga,... you hate me, right?"   "Ya, Nam Jihyun, are you...drunk?" I forced out a cute giggle trying (but obviously failed) to imitate her giggles that always got the guys swooning, as I turned and patted lightly on Nam Jihyun's shoulder. She had a startled face, before erupted into giggles as well. Those giggles I was talking about. Though hers and mine sounded so different. How could everything she does turn out angelic and pure while me...   "Ne, how did you know I'm drunk?" She cupped to contain her laughter from getting uncontrollable, or maybe to cover her drunkness?   "You're always drunk. Duh." I rolled my eyes, but felt very confident I didn't look the least irritated from her 'pure' viewing.   "Let's go." She pulled my arms and I just let her drag me away from this solitude of being alone. Back to hell, to join the other guys and girls who went with us for this stupid dating show. How I thought I'd find love in the beginning, yet I only found hate, how I thought I'd finally have some happy time, instead everytime spent here only added to my frustration with my own self and everyone here, as if my life hasn't filled with enough of those. How I thought of this and that,...and how I was so wrong on everything. How stupid have you become, Oh Seungah?   I wouldn't have agreed to this show if I knew it'd turn out this way, honestly.   "Yah! Oh Seungah! Where have you been?! Do you know we couldn't eat because of you?!"   What a great way to remind me of how much I'm regretting every moment spent here. By the way, that's Mir, Mblaq's Mir, currently my partner since we're always changing partner and although initially I was coupled with this ultra sweet kid named Jaebum who made things felt a little better, the producers just seem to think he's too pe