Yongguk’s POV

I pop my head out of the dorm room to see Jin Kyoung standing there looking pissed.

Oh god, she’s going to kill me.

Today finally set her off.

When she looks down the hall her face seems to clear of any anger and she walks towards the room.

I quickly, but quietly close the door and lock it.

I lean against it and I almost feel my heart stop when I hear her pounding on it after messing with the doorknob.

“Bang Yongguk I’m here to talk with you,” she shouts and I just feel like curling up in a ball and hiding from her. I hear her sigh and slide down my door, “I’m sorry for earlier, Yongguk. You don’t deserve me treating you like that. I was upset about hearing her being caught in bed with a boy that I freaked out.”

I hear a bitter laugh that makes me cringe, “I guess I should apologize for that and the guys told me about Nana your stalker/thief of your phone on many occasions. why didn't’ you ever tell me?”

I was afraid to tell you. I was afraid you’d think the worse and leave me.

I fee hear take in a shaky breath as she stands up, “I need to get back to Mina. She’s waiting outside for me. I'm sorry Yongguk for how I acted towards you, but it’s still better if we stay apart for I have my own secrets i want to keep. Secrets where I’m afraid that you’ll hate me for keeping from you.”

Wait?

what?

What does she mean by that?

“Jin Kyoung,” I call out her name as I open my dorm room.

I watch her turn towards me with tears in her beautiful eyes.

I can’t help, but to reach up and wipe away the tears.

Your POV

When he wipes away my tears I feel my body flinch at his gentle touch.

I dont’ deserve this.

I know why Yongguk never contacted me so I lost our baby for nothing.

I lost him for…

I hear Yongguk say my name but all i feel is my brain want to run away from him while my heart wants to be close to him again.

It hurts so much.

It hurts being this close to him and afraid to hug him.

Afraid that my lies would someone cling and stangle killing him like they did too our baby.

“Jin Kyoung, what are you afraid to tell me? Don’t you trust me?”

I can’t help it my head shakes and I whisper, “Not really. I don’t trust that you won’t leave me.”

He looks at me shocked, “you have lost all faith in me?”

I look at him and shake my head, “No, but I can’t let you know.”

I pull away from him and leave the dorm feeling disgusted with myself disgusted that I had lost my baby boy because of something petty, but maybe there was other factors…

Still I love Yongguk and I know that deep in my heart I always will. I will always fear what he will think of me.

I pass the rest of BAP when I’m leaving and Junhong gets one look at my face and pulls me into a hug, “Noona, what happened?”

“We’re fine now… but I’d like it if you could ask for a different tutor. I will keep up my work until then but please ask.”

I watch as the boys look at me confused, “Noona, if everything is fine then why do you want to transfer tutors?”

I smile sadly, “It’s cause after realizing that I was wrong I regret the day that I threw him out.”

Himchan looks at me and takes my hand pulling me too the side away from the boys’ ears, “Jin Kyoung, you know that he wouldn’t think it was your fault right? He would understand it was all an accident.”

I give him a look, “He might forgive me, but I can’t.” I look too see the boys are no where to be seen as I place my hand on my stomach, “Himchan I lost my baby, because I got angry thinking my boyfriend had cheated on me. I thought I didn’t matter to him before then… Before I lost my baby boy. I lost him and I have no idea how to live with myself. Himchan don’t tell anyone about back then or what I told you now. I don’t need to worry the others. I hate myself for being this weak. i hate that I can’t move on at all. I hate that I still love Yongguk with all my heart even though it hurts me so much.”

Zelo’s POV

When we turned the corner too get too the dorm I told the guys that I wanted to talk too noona again and they simply shrugged.

What does noona mean lost her baby boy?

She doesn't want hyung too know that?

I notice Yongguk-hyung sitting on the couch looking almost dead and the guys are trying to make him feel better.

“Hyung are you alright?’

He shakes his head, “she wants to quit tutoring you and Jongup and somehow it’s all my fault?’

I want to disagree that somehow she hates herself and she’s afraid that he’ll hate her, but I can’t she doesn't’ want him to know.

“Hyung, maybe it’s because she’s hurting about something that happened that doesn’t really have to deal with you. Maybe she just feels guilty about something.”

“About what?”

“Maybe about throwing you out without listening to you today. She seems like someone to feel extreme guilt when it comes to something.”

Hyung smiles at me as he says, “true, I guess i should give her sometime and hope that they won’t find a new tutor anytime soon.”

Himchan’s POV

What the hell!

Is she that depressed again?

I feel a bit guilty for thinking that since it was only around a year ago that she had lost her baby and the man she loved.

She lost the two of them and she feels like it’s all her fault.

I dont’ know what to do about it since I won’t tell anyone,

What will I do?

I hear Zelo talking too yongguk cheering him up better than I ever did.

How would he know what Jin Kyoung is really like though?

Did he hear Jin Kyoung and me talking?

Everyone seems to run off and i simply walk into my dorm room dropping on the bed.

I hear a knock on the door causing me too look up too see Junhong looking at me.

“What?”

“Hyung, can I talk to you?”

“Sure go ahead,” i tell him.

he walks in after checking behind him.

“Hyung what did Jin Kyoung mean?”

I try to act like I have no idea, “what do you mean? she doesn’t want to be around us anymore.”

“Hyung you know that’s not what i mean? what did she mean by her baby? Was Jin Kyoung pregnant?”

I sigh as I look up, “Shut the door and I’ll tell you if you promise never to tell anyone.”

“I won’t,” he says as he shuts the door.

“Jin Kyoung, was pregnant last year and the day that she kicked yongguk out of her apartment and broke up with him she had a miscarriage, because she had fallen down the stairs. I know that it still haunts her and that she has nightmares, because my girlfriend is her sister.”

I watch as Zelo sits down on the ground and look at me sadly, “Hyung, we have to try to get her to heal her heart too let Yongguk-hyung back in as well.”

I nod my head, “how will we do that if she doesn’t want to work with you guys anymore?”

“I have a plan so don’t worry.”