Author's note: Hey, just some clearance. First of all, Happy New Year!!! Hope the new year will bring you good fortune!

Next, just to explain this chapter to avoid confusion, each line segment separates a new week. So this chapter is over the course of three weeks. If I would have ended this fic, it would have been here, but since I'm going to continue it this is how I'm transitioning. I have some ideas for the new chapters, but I don't know how many they'll be--- maybe 5 maybe 10? who knows!? Anyway thanks for reading! and just a heads up: the new chapters will hopefully get longer!

What is it about him that captivates me so? What is it about him that makes my insides erupt into an absolute ism? Why does he do this me?  How did he change me from what I once was?

My mind was racing with thousands of unanswerable questions when I woke up; last night still pounding over and over and over again in my head. God… Gukkie

There was no question I was in love with Yongguk, but he had turned me into another person, he had lured me into his addiction, he had broken my seclusion.

with this man had turned me into something unimaginable. I longed for him even when I was with him. I was begging for Yongguk to hold me even though he already was. I wanted his eyes to be forever on my body his hands always running down my thighs…

Is it possible to love someone too much? Is this what this was?

…

Even if “over loving” was the proper diagnoses for our relationship, how would we cope after this summer intensive when “over loving” wasn’t possible? What-

NO, I had to stop myself. Thinking that way is only unhealthy, telling myself our relationship would end because the environment we met in was ending was foolish.

“Baby… why are you cryin?” Yongguk startled me with his deep groggy voice, waking up from his sleep. I didn’t even know I was crying; my thoughts caused a lot of pain and hot tears singed trails down my cheeks… He pulled me in tighter to him which fulfilled the growing need to be closer to him.

“N-nothing…”

“Don’t lie”

I sighed; I didn’t know how he would respond. I was almost… no I was deathly afraid of his response to my questions and thoughts.

“I-… What’s going to happen after intensive ends? I mean… Yongguk… What’s going to happen to us? Are you going to leave me? I-” I couldn’t even finish my ongoing questions as my thoughts poisoned my mind leading me to deeper hysterics; all fears laid out on the table.

“Himmie… don’t think that way. Do you know how much I love you? I’d never leave you. If you need to see me every day, God damnit I’ll make it happen”

“B-but, you work two jobs! You don’t have time, and I have school! This summer intensive was nice, but that’s all it was, an escape from reality!”

“I’ll figure it out!” he calmed down slightly, “I’ll figure it out, for you”

The next week flew by as I marked two weeks left of summer intensive; Judgment Day. Jongup and Zelo began to feel the stress of the end as well. Due to finals, Jongup would spend nights late with Daehyun practicing singing, leaving Zelo alone. The youngest didn’t take well to it, and I would find myself regularly comforting him while he cried. I’d rock him back and forth creating it a daily ritual to ease him to bed. Though this be a setback, their relationship was still surprisingly strong. It was just painful to see my baby in such pain.

I didn’t really know what was happening with Daehyun and Youngjae. The two would be on one minute and off the next. On Wednesday they invited Yongguk and I to go out on a double date, the date was wonderful. We laughed, talked, got to know Youngjae better, and Daehyun and Youngjae even kissed. The next day… well… Daehyun had a black eye:

“Dae Dae! What happened?!” I questioned sitting at lunch.

“Holy man, that’s some shiner you got there” Yongguk chimed in; I gave him a quick glare.

“Well… uh I got in a fight…” Daehyun was quiet.

“Well no duh? Explain?!”

“I…er…” Daehyun scratched his head, “It was with Youngjae’s dad”

“Wait what?! Daehyun!?”

“Yeah, you know how Youngjae’s dad is against- well you know… well I kissed Youngjae goodnight in his front yard when I dropped him off, and I guess his father saw. I tried to calm him down, but he just… got really angry.”

“Oh my god! Are you okay? That’s not okay! You need to report that to the police, he can’t hit you like that!”

“No it’s not worth it. It’s Youngjae’s father, I wouldn’t want to see Youngjae sad if they do anything to him”

I sighed knowing he was right.

“Still man, you can’t just let him hit you like that” Yongguk patted Daehyun’s back and Daehyun nodded, “I know”

…

“Daehyunnie!!!” Youngjae came running to our oldest boy concern written in his wrinkled eyes, “I-I-I’m so sorry… I… What can I do?” I watched Youngjae’s fingers shake as he ran them across Daehyun’s cut and bruised face.

“Don’t worry about it Youngjae, don’t apologize you did nothing wrong”

“But-”

“No buts” Daehyun frowned.

“I-I still want to see you… can we do this secretly until I figure things out with my father?” Youngjae sounded hopeful.

Daeuhyun instantly nodded and my heart melted watching the couple hug, “Daehyunnie, I’m so sorry it has to be this way. But I’m happy with you.”

Yongguk grabbed me by my waist, and I looked to him; he was giving me the biggest grin, so happy of our oldest son.

The last week… well…

My heart was on a constant roller coaster; anxiety at its highest.  The funny things was, finals were the least of my worries. I was worried about keeping my friends, their relationships, my relationship, and going back to my familiar ways of seclusion and relentless angst.

It was Friday; move out day, Yongguk had told me he’d drive me home to meet my mother. HAH that was going to be interesting. Not based on the fact that I’m gay  (Mother already knew), but I hadn’t told my mom anything about Yongguk. I thought she would judge him, because of the way he dressed. To the regular common eye, Yongguk looked like a thug, baggy pants, messy hair, deep voice, but he’s so much more than that, and I hope my mother gives him a chance to see that… I could only hope.

“Ready?” Yongguk said giving me a weak smile while placing the last of our suitcases in his trunk and slamming it tight.

I just nodded. I had that feeling of teetering on the edge of tears. If I said a single word, tears would erupt. I was always horrible at goodbyes, and I didn’t want to say goodbye to this wonderful place.

“Oh stop” Yongguk wrapped me into a hug.

That’s what did it, the waterworks show. My tears were flying and Yongguk held me tighter.

“Yah… stop… it’s okay Himchan, We’ll all still be together”

“I kn-know… b-but it’s not the same!”

“Ssshhhh” Yongguk kissed me gently, I felt his lips curl into a smile in the kiss, “I love you so much, don’t you forget that… Now let’s go”

I took one last look at the campus before me prior to getting in the car. The trees were still green, the weather was still summer perfect, the buildings made of beautiful classic brick.

I sighed, “Time to go home…”

“Let’s go meet Eomma!” Yongguk joked getting in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah…lets go meet eomma…”