Donghae's tears
When The Happiness Is So Expensive
"Mianhae oppa, let's break up" Yoona said it as she tried to hold her tears not to fall from her beautiful eyes.
"What are you talking about, Yoona-ya?" Donghae asked her with his soft voice, looked at yoona so sotly and tried to make it clear "Why suddenly? what's wrong? did I ever hurt you?" he just kept asking her with his confused face, he didnt understand. He just dont want to break up.
"No oppa, you never hurt me. I'm just... just.. tired with this relationship and i want to focus with my career from now on"
What yoona just said made Donghae's heart really hurt like a thousand storms hit him. His heart wasn't bleeding but he could feel that it hurt so much. He knew that Yoona wasn't joking, but it didn't make sense. 5 minutes ago she asked him to talk in the backstage after their performance ended in music bank, he never knew that this would happen before. He tried to find what was wrong with their relationship that could make Yoona wanted to break up but the pain in his heart couldn't make him think clearly. It just too hurt.
Both of them just looked at each other in their silence, not a single word came out after what yoona said. While Donghae tried to hold his pain, he looked at Yoona's eyes deeply, He wanted to understand this situation but he couldnt.
Yoona kept hold her tears because she didnt want to cry in front of him. She knew that her statement already made Donghae hurt so much, If she cried, she just made Donghae hurt even more. She had to stay strong.
"Oppa.." Yoona called Donghae with her soft voice who kept silence and didnt move at all, tried to break the silence.
"Yoona-ya, wae? I dont want to break up with you, your reasons dont make sense" finally Donghae opened his mouth and talked to Yoona. He held Yoona's right wrist tightly and looked at her eyes with his curious expression.
"I no longer love you, Donghae-ssi, don't you understand that? can't you acceept that? it makes sense, right?" she raised it, Yoona raised her voice louder than before with her serious face.
This time Yoona's words really stabbed his heart. He even didn't have strength to heard it, he couldnt even have strength to stand again. He just wanted to fall and scream loudly in that empty backstage. He couldn't even breath normally. He couldn't againts Yoona's confession. Yoona's words were just too painful to be heard. Now he coudn't brave to looked at Yoona's eyes again. The most beautiful of yoona's part that he liked so much. He couldn't say anything, the only thing he could do was just released Yoona's wrist slowly.
After that, Yoona moved away from Donghae and left him alone in that empty backstage and headed to the exit door, but before she opened the door to off, she turned her head to look at Donghae with her eyes full of her tears that she tried to hold and said "Dont let anybody knows about our break up"
Donghae stared at her with his sad face.
"Don't be sad oppa, promise me to smile if you meet me, we still can be friend" Yoona smiled at donghae, but donghae immadiately turned his head. He didn't want to look at that pretty smile in this situation.
So Yoona closed the door and left the backstage, headed to her car and drove it so fast as her tears fell so hard. She wanted to arrive in her dorm as soon as she could because she wanted to release her pain, her tears and her hurt that she held it so long while talked with donghae. She just wanted to cry even harder than now.
Meanwhile in that empty backstage Donghae stood up alone. He closed his eyes, tried to hold his pain in his heart, tried to understand Yoona's words that he just couldnt accept. He just sighed then opened his eyes, headed to the door and prayed with his sorrow voice "God, just let me die now" he wanted to cry now but he still couldn't.
Donghae arrived in his dorm and still remembered that painful moment in that backstage as he walked to the kitchen and joined with other suju members in the dining table and sat to eat without a single word out. Where there was Leeteuk, Heechul, Eunhyuk, and Ryeowook. All of them looked at donghae who looked so mess.
"Ya, Donghae ya, what happened to you?" asked leeteuk who was curious with Donghae's sad expression.
"Did u just get hit by Kangin hyung? Why your face looks terrible" Heechul tried to make a joke at him, but the only one who laughed was just Eunhyuk and himself.
"Ani hyung, I think he was hit by Shindong's tummy" Eunhyuk added, that made Heechul laugh more harder than before.
"Ya!! you two stop it" Leeteuk commanded them because he realized that now wasn't a good time to make a joke at donghae. He glared at Eunhyuk and Heechul and turned his eyes at Donghae, tried to give them a signal to also look at him who just kept quiet and only stared at his empty plate with his sad expression. Then they stopped.
Ryeowook who cared about Donghae too, tried to offer a food to him "Hyung eat this, I cooked it for you" Ryeowook smiled when offered it but his smile suddenly dissappeared because donghae didn't respond at all.
So all of them just looked at each other with confused expression because they didnt know what the hell was exactly happened to Donghae.
Donghae still quite, didn't say a word and didn't respond at all. He just ignored their words. He didn't even hear what they said clearly, because he just kept thinking about Yoona. He kept thinking Yoona's words. He still didnt get it why Yoona wanted to break up with him when their relationship was fine. He also remembered their sweet moments even though it caused more pain for him, but when he remembered Yoona's smile in that backstage, he turned his head a little to the left to hide it from his friends because his tears just suddenly fell.
At 23:50, yoona arrived in her drom, out from her car and went upstairs quickly. She opened her dorm's door and found Jessica and Yuri who were still watching a variety show in the living room. She joined and started to cry again. those 2 ladies suddenly shocked when saw yoona cried so hard. Jessica and Yuri immediately sat beside her.
"Yoona yaaa~~ are you okay?" asked yuri who was so worried with her beloved dongsaeng.
"It's okay yoona~yaa, it's for his best and your best too" Jessica said and tried to wipe Yoona's tears from her cheeks.
Actually, all of snsd member already knew that tonight Yoona would break up with Donghae, but back then Yoona asked Donghae not to tell anyone about this, because she planned something. Something that only God, her and some important people knew it.
Yoona said "But unnie, these tears always fall, it doesn't want to stop, what should I do?"
"Yoona-ya, you can cry as hard as you want, as long as you want, but u have to remember that 2 days later we have to give the best performance to become a winner, dont forget to control your emotion ok" Jessica adviced her.
"Ya! sicaa, how could you say that when yoona is so sad" Yuri hugged yoona after saying it.
"Ani unnie" yoona said as she tried to wipe her tears "Sica unnie is right, I dont want my problem ruins everything" Yoona added and kept sobbing.
After then Yoona stood up and walked to her room after asking Yuri to let her sleep alone just for tonight.
In her room, Yoona just cried and cried. She just couldn't stop her falling tears. She kept crying so hard, her tears even made her pillow become so wet. It hurt her so much, she could feel the pain in her heart, the broken heart. She always remembered Donghae's sad face when she asked him to break up, Donghae's painful face when she said that she no longer loved him. She remembered everything, Donghae's every single words and his expression in that backstage. She just loved him so much, but she tried so hardly to think that what she did for the best for him and she was sure that she did the right thing.
Next chapter preview
- All snsd member went to the bar to celebrate their winning, jessica invited 2pm member and half of suju memeber including donghae.
- donghae said "yoona-ya, i hate you so much"
- "just kill me!!!!" donghae said and scream so loud...
what makes donghae hates yoona? what will happen in that bar? what if yoona and donghae meet after that break up? and what happened to donghae?
wait for the next chapter.
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