“Sometimes, we need to be apart to understand just how much we truly love each other”

TO Jiyong_Oppa: Yaaa…why aren’t you replying? I’d be the next to speak after Dong min.

I don’t know how many messages I’ve sent, but what I know is that I’m pissed and he is the reason why. Actually, I have a feeling that he’s not yet here and whatever his reason will be, I don’t think I can forgive him.

“Stop moving!” Eun hee said for the nth time.

“What do you think of me? A rock? AISH!” I said and changed position once again.

“Yah! Why are you so giddy? You keep on fidgeting….you’re like a chicken that doesn’t know where to hatch” she said and I smirked.

“He is not here yet” I told her and she sighed.

“Trouble twin…don’t think of him now…all you have to think of is your speech…you’re next!” she said and I shook my head.

How can I not think of him? He promised me that he will go and watch me give my speech. I don’t want to think of anything that will make my blood boil, but I can feel that his work got on the way once again and he can’t make it anymore. It just for I’ve prepared this speech with him as my inspiration and he’s not even here to hear it.

“This student is on top of every examination….this girl never fails to ace it and that’s the reason why she’s got the highest award for this evening….ladies and gentleman….here is this batch’s Summa Laude…Ms. ISHI SHIN!”

This is it. I’m going to go up the stage, give the speech out with all my heart, wish that my boyfriend is listening, go down after and rage in anger if he’s not here. This is my moment, and my personal life just has to take a step back for a while.

“….When you’re young…everything feels like the end of the world…well for me it is…I’m an orphan…my parents died before I can even talk…I was left with my grandmother…struggled with her…laughed with her…fought through life with her…but I guess…I’m really meant to be alone for she died a few years ago…I’ve learned everything in a hard way…teenagers my age would fool around and do whatever they wanna do…while I’m in a grocery store as a cashier…I don’t know how it feels to have a lavish birthday party….I never go to any for I always end up being bitter…life for me is really a challenge….but…I’ve realized that it’s not…the world isn’t ending yet…for it’s just beginning…I’m proud to say that I got by with life because of a lot of people…my friends Eun hee and Dong min are the ones who pushed me to enter this university…I took risks and it paid off…I’ve become a scholar and it shocked me the moment I’ve received Kyunghee University’s letter for I’m not even a good student at all...I totally when I was in high school…and I’m not talking here….then one day….I just snapped and decided to study hard…I just found myself awake till the wee hours of the night because I’m still doing a project…or Ms. Kim’s long essay assignments….but it’s all worth it in the end…I was able to keep my scholarship up to my third year...being a student isn’t fun for me at all…I’ve been bullied since I don’t know when…and have been rejected for bazillion times as well…but I’m so proud to say that it didn’t even shake me…why? Because in my mind…I’m not here to care about the people around me…I’m here to study and get the degree that I wanted” I started and I can already see some students crying.

“Friends…we are about to enter into the world filled with hypocrisy and rejections more than acceptance…a world full of people who can make or break you….we are the fresh ones as they call it “we are still wild and young”…OK… got it…I know one song is playing in your head right now…kidding aside…we should really strive hard to have the life that we wanted…you have now received your education…now…you’re already capable of taking the world…our life is now our destiny…we have built a strong foundation for our  future….and it’s up to us to design and build it…we should celebrate the days of success and always prepare for the challenges…always remember that the word failure is bull and the word faith is the real thing…after this ceremony…we’ll go to different ways…some of us would study again to have their masters…some will surely bum around for a while…some will be itching to start working and maybe some will get married already” I said and that’s when my heart started beating fast.

I’m about to drop the bomb now and I’m having second thoughts about it. I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt like this is not the right time to get my relationship with G-dragon out in public. I feel like, we will both be damned after this and even though I have it all written on paper already and all I have to do is read it out loud, I can’t find my voice for my mind and heart is in sync in telling me that what I’m about to do is not right.

“I guess…this is the right time to thank the people who has always been behind me all throughout this wild journey….first and foremost…I would like to thank my professors….most especially Ms. Kim…I may be a regular in the detention office…but I just want to clear my name now….I’m a good girl….it’s just that I fool around too much…but seriously…I’m going to miss that white detention room and even if this and I don’t want doing it…I will miss cleaning restrooms as well” I said and everybody laughed so hard.

“To my lovable bestfriends...Park Eun hee and our loveable Magna Laude….Im Dong min….you guys rock! Seriously…without them…I’d be this university’s biggest loser…you two has been there for me through thick or thin…the three of us really don’t function well without the other and I owe a lot to you….I know that in this new chapter of our lives…we will still be together…and as we’ve said a couple of days ago…let’s not think about our careers yet…rather…let’s focus on our love life first….it may sound  crazy…but…I totally agree with you guys….last but not the least….my family….yes…I’ve said that I am an orphan…but a few months ago…I’ve found a new family that accepted me even if I’m one crazy person…they are really the most wonderful people in the whole wide universe and I love them so much….Appa…Omma….Unnie…THANK YOU SO MUCH for always being there for me….you really made me feel like I’m a part of the family since day one and I can’t ask for anything more….well…to my Oppa…I love you so much  Ji….I don’t even know if you’re here…but….I love you and I won’t be here if it weren’t for you…thank you for being a good partner…you ROCK SWAGGER!...anyway…I’ve been talking so long now and my throat is not in its element already…so I will stop here….all I want to say to my dear batchmates….LET’S ROCK THIS WORLD AND MULTIPLY! Thank you very much!” I finished and even got a standing ovation from the crowd.

My speech went so well and even if I’ve edited it right on the spot, I’m pretty proud of myself for I was able to pull it off. I guess, I wasn’t able to control myself when I started thanking people for I’ve almost said G-dragon’s whole name but thankfully, I came to my senses and just said “Ji” instead of “Jiyong”. Now, where the heck is he? I just wish that he was able to hear my speech.

“You did so ing well!” Dong min said the moment I reached my seat.

“That speech should be counted as one of the best” Eun hee said and I smiled at them.

The ceremony didn’t take long after that for next thing we know it, we’re going up the stage to get our awards already. It was Appa who put my medal on me and the smile on his face is to