Chapter 9

To his defense, Wu Fan woke up knowing something had gone wrong.  And he was sure, despite his headache and upset stomach, that the problem was not his white shirt that was no longer white at certain spots, or the smell of alcohol that was making the whole room uninhabitable to normal humans.

No, the problem- Kris realized that surprisingly fast- was with last night, not the next morning’s hangover.

Scenes flashed before his eyes. About a certain page in his book that he still didn’t understand and about vodka shots and about Chanyeol’s notes on ‘Regulation of margin requirements’ and then about Chanyeol’s lips.

He stumbled on the last part. Or, more accurately, if he was to describe this revelation in terms of body movements, it would have been a head-first fall to the ground, rather than a stumble.

And at that particular moment the Canadian felt himself sweating –as if stinking was not enough- and his blood pressure rising.

What should he do? Kill himself was the first option, but he crossed it off as too dramatic. The next thing that he could think of was to pretend it never happened.

And what about Chanyeol? He didn’t even dare to think how freaked out he must have been.

Fortunately, the blonde had actually out after doing the unthinkable and he had no idea how the other guy had reacted. Though, he must have at least decided to spare his life, since he was currently on his dorm’s bed.

Why had he even gone to that party in the first place, he deplored. And gotten drunk on top of it!

He had acted completely out of character. And that was the result.

He had kissed Park Chanyeol.

And there were many, terrifying sides to that fact.

He had kissed his friend. Also, he had kissed a guy who, as far as Kris remembered, had not mentioned being gay. Not to mention, that he had kissed the heir of Sang Cha Rim, the same person he was supposed to train into becoming a serious person.

In the list of things Kris had done to make Chanyeol hate him- a list that was too long already- ‘forcing a kiss on the guy while being drunk’ was now number one in severity.

He swore under his breath.

“Oh, you’re up!” A yawn came from somewhere on Wu Fan’s floor.

The blonde felt his face burning with shame.

“Chanyeol?” He said slowly, still praying to be wrong.

“No, it’s the other guy who dragged you all the way here, after you got hammered and passed out last night.” Chanyeol mocked, trying to stand up from his sleeping place and failing to do so. The curly-haired guy rubbed his back and whined about Wu Fan being too heavy.

“Wait, you slept here?” Kris did not think he could get more ashamed of himself, but there he was.

“I did. Over here.” The curly-haired boy nodded pointing at the floor.

“Why?” The Canadian sighed and rubbed his temples.

“Well, you know how they say when someone is very drunk… something might happen to him and… I thought… since I was here already… besides you were sleeping… Do you really mind that I stayed, Duizhang?” He mumbled looking even more confused than Kris after he finished ‘explaining’.

“I don’t mind. I was just surprised.” Kris replied in a voice that was barely a whisper.

“You don’t remember anything, do you?” The slight disappointment, he thought he heard in the boy’s tone, quickly disappeared.

“I think I drank too much, so no.” Wu Fan lied, because the plan was to act like nothing happened.

“Yeah, you definitely drank a lot.” Chanyeol agreed with a smirk.

“I must have been pretty weird. Did I create any trouble?” The blonde decided to act innocent.

“Yes, you did. You made a lot of trouble actually, Duizhang.” The younger buy said dramatically and Wu Fan held his breath.

Did that crazy guy plan on saying it? In fact saying that they kissed? Was he going to shout and call him a ert?

“I’m sorry!” Wu Fan hurried to explain himself. “It was stupid of me to drink so much. I didn’t know it would turn me into a crazy jerk.” He looked at the boy pleadingly.

“Crazy jerk?” Chanyeol questioned.

“Yes, absolutely nuts and irresponsible and offensive.” Kris added desperately.

“You weren’t that bad...” The Korean chuckled rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh, but I was! I mean, I don’t remember it, but I must have been.” The Canadian frowned at his own mistakes. “I know you must be furious right now and nothing I can say will make up for my behavior.”

He swallowed hard.

“However, if it’s any consolation, I didn’t mean to act this way and…” Suddenly, Chanyeol looked up to meet his eyes.

“You didn’t mean it?” He asked pointedly, like he wanted to make sure he heard right. The boy’s eyes were curious and some sort of fire was burning inside of them, like it always was.

“Yes, I didn’t. It was the alcohol talking.” Kris assured.

“Oh, I see.” And just like that the fire in the younger’s eyes was put off.

“So, I should go, now that you’re awake.” Chanyeol said hurriedly picking up his jacket.

“I bought you some hangover medicine. It’s on the table next my notebook. I already bookmarked the pages on ‘Regulation of margin requirements’.” He pointed at the general direction of the table Kris used as a desk and kept moving towards the door, soundlessly, like he was sneaking out.

“Park Chanyeol!” Wu Fan’s legs were shaky from last night’s fiasco as he stood up.

“Yeah?” The boy hastily looked back.

“Thank you.” It wasn’t the first time he had reason to thank the guy; Kris was aware of it. However, that day the need to say it appeared so compelling that he could not stop himself.

The younger boy bit his lower lip fervently. Something was fighting to escape his mouth, though Kris was not sure if it’d be good or bad. In the end, whatever it was, didn’t make it out.

“I keep telling you to give me space. That’s ridiculous, right? Because we’re friends…” The older guy paused to take a deep breath.

Friends… 

From Chanyeol’s side that was true. If someone had treated the blonde as a real friend in Korea, that was Chanyeol.

Wu Fan, on the other hand, was nowhere close to a real friend for the boy. He was lying to him and deceiving him. If that was not enough, he had the unhealthy habit of stealing kisses from him while he was intoxicated.

So friends might have not have been the most accurate word.

Still, the Canadian needed to make things simpler.

“Since we’re friends, I have no right to demand so much space. I keep making you feel upset and worried and for that I apologize. Telling you, you were being immature while I was getting drunk and acting crazily, I apologize for that too.” His voice was lower and more caring than usual.

“You don’t need to explain all that. Just make me breakfast.” Chanyeol looked more relaxed. He laughed at Wu Fan’s desperately awkward glance towards the fridge and the cringe that followed it.

“I have coffee...” The blonde proposed.

“I’ll go buy some real food.” The boy announced and run out of the dorm.

Ten minutes later Kris had prepared two cups of coffee and was waiting for the Korean guy to return.

As he sat down he noticed the bottle of hangover medicine and the familiar red notebook, orderly placed on a corner of the table.

Carefully, he removed the bottle from over the book and took it in his hands.

This time the bookmark was put closer to the end of the notebook.

‘Duizhang, this chapter wasn’t all that hard. Did you stay late studying and make your brain malfunction? Be careful from now on. Chanyeol.’

The Canadian smiled at the message on the post-it bookmark.

How did Chanyeol even know that was what had happened?

“So you do smile every once in a while…” The boy’s deep voice made him flinch.

Kris refused to dignify that with an answer.

He gave the boy some space to make his rice balls and some omelet as he silently drank his coffee.

It was a miracle really that a clumsy person like Chanyeol was good at cooking, even those simple dishes. Wu Fan half-expected him to burn the whole place down at some point and he was immensely impressed when he didn’t.

“You actually made omelet and rice balls.” He commented looking down at the food suspiciously.

“I said I would, didn’t I?” The boy shrugged and filled his mouth with food.

“Do you like cooking?” Chanyeol raised an eyebrow at the unexpected question.

“Not particularly.” He said, swallowing half his omelet at once.

“Then what do you like? Is there a thing you like so much you couldn’t live without it?” Wu Fan wasn’t sure why he was asking all this.

Maybe it was the sudden respect he had felt for the boy, not just for cooking but also for taking such good care of him, or maybe it was the hangover that still clouded his thoughts. Well, either way he was curious.

“A thing I’d die without?” The curly-haired guy shook his head.

“There isn’t anything. Except for food and water, of course.” He laughed at his own joke, but Kris only nodded.

“And what about a person? Is there a person you can’t live without?” This new question proved harder to answer.

Chanyeol frowned and stared at his plate before answering that, ‘no’, such a person did not exist for him.

“That’s good.” Wu Fan put in taking a bite of his food as well.

“Is it?” The boy questioned.

“Of course. Because your life is your own. You live for yourself.” The blonde said with certainty.

“Don’t you want to say it, though? Say a big thing like ‘I’d die without you’ to someone? Wouldn’t it mean you’ve actually met an important person?” Resting his head on his hand, Chanyeol faced the older guy with expectation.

“It would still be a lie. Even if you believed it at the time, it’d still be a lie; since your lives start and end at a different time, it can’t possibly be like this...” Wu Fan explained his theory.

“I understand. Yes… you’re right about that.” The guy’s chest heaved and then fell flat again. He looked somewhat relieved at the realization that he didn’t have to say those words.

“Duizhang, you seem to know so much about love, yet you like being alone and you’ve never shown any real interest in starting a relationship with anyone. Why is that?” The question was tricky and deep, Kris thought. When Chanyeol wanted to ask something it was never trivial, even when he asked about the weather it came out a little like a life-changing question.

Like that time he had asked the Canadian whether he liked going out in the rain even if it meant he’d get soaked.

‘Is only the sun nice?’ He had given the blonde a searching look at that. ‘Can’t I go out in the rain too? I don’t mind getting a cold once in a while.’

Now Wu Fan felt the same way he had, that time when Chanyeol had asked about the rain. 

He felt excited but, also, out of his depth, as if someone had just thrown him off a cliff and ordered him to fly. He wanted to find a solution to the boy’s strange questions; he wished to say the right thing. However, he was afraid that he’d never be able to really comprehend the guy’s way of thinking.

“Knowing about relationships doesn’t mean you should have one.” Was the best answer he could think of. “I am not interested in love right now. So I won’t be doing that any time soon.”

“Is that something you can turn on and off whenever you please?” The boy challenged with a smirk.

That took the older guy by surprise.

“What I mean is, just like you can’t say you’ll die together with someone, you also can’t say you won’t fall in love. These things are out of your control.” Chanyeol had outsmarted him again. It was becoming a common occurrence too, Kris hated to admit.

“Park Chanyeol, you don’t look like it but you know a lot about love too.” Wu Fan joked.

“No, I don’t. Not really. I just thought about what Duizhang said.” The curly-haired guy moved backwards on his chair and crossed his arms.

“You know, that ‘even if you believe it at the time, it might still be a lie.’ Just like that, despite believing you’re not in love, sometimes you really are. Because, don’t people fall in love unexpectedly and sometimes without even realizing it at first?” Chanyeol asked shyly.

The Canadian flinched in his seat.

Why was he sweating again? Why was his face turning crimson and his heart beating in his ears?

The other guy was obviously talking hypothetically, so what was the blonde getting flustered and excited for?

He looked around him, trying to suppress the alarmed expression that was all but subtle. Everything that his eyes met with, however, was cause for more confusion and alarm.

A pillow carelessly thrown on the floor, next to his bed; where Chanyeol had slept all night. Then, a bottle of hangover medicine and a red notebook with post-it papers as bookmarks. Finally, a table full of food, one of those Kris hadn’t seen in years. 

A scenery that looked nothing like his old, dark place; or his old, dark life.

The blonde quickly wiped the sweat running down his face with the back of his hand.

It was warm, that’s why he was sweating.

It was too warm.

And then it dawned on him, like the crazy boy had warned him it would.

That he had already stayed in the warmth for too long. That Park Chanyeol had already taken away his coat and his boots and Wu Fan hadn’t even cared that he was an Eskimo without his gear anymore.

No, he hadn’t, because even Eskimos like fire too.

He could argue about it; say that he liked the cold better. Say that he only saw the crazy, curly-haired boy as a friend, or a stranger that he needed to train.

He could make himself believe he wasn’t in love.

Nevertheless, it was a lie.

“Yeah… I suppose that’s how you fall in love.” He whispered, choking out each word painfully. “Unexpectedly and without realizing it at first.”

A/N: OMO!!! 101 Subscribers!!!!  (^▼^)

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By the way, is this chapter a little confusing? Please tell me, if that's the case... I'm kinda worried.