Chapter 6

Getting to Know HIM More

            Suzy seemed to be busy staring lamely at the ceiling while she is lying on her bed when Shin Hye entered their room. Sadness is emitted by her round brown eyes. She seems to be deep in thought.

            Shin Hye examined Suzy for a while. She saw how she would puff an air and blink her eyes. Suzy, on the other hand, is oblivious of Shin Hye’s presence. After a moment, Shin Hye decided to move swiftly unto her own bed, passing the still out of this world Suzy. She sat on her bed and opened the fan to dry her hair, with the aid of a towel and a hair brush. She has just finished taking a bath. And when she went back, a senseless Suzy greeted her, and she can't help but to be disturbed by this.

            Suzy is a warm girl. Most of the time, she would enthusiastically smile at her and cheerily talk.

            “What’s the matter?” she can't help to ask after few moments of studying Suzy’s state. However, she caught no response from her after a few seconds of mere silence. “Suzy?”

            “Uh, yeah?” finally, Suzy had a grasp of her senses back. She turned to her with a wondering look. “Were you saying something, Shin Hye unnie?” she asked her, totally oblivious of the words she had told her a while ago.

            She smiled at the lame Suzy. “Are you okay? You seemed to be out of yourself,” she answered. “What’s the matter?”

            Suzy puffed another breath of air and fidgeted with her fingers. She gazed at her and she can read sadness radiating from her eyes.

            “I… I went at oppa’s place yesterday…”

            “And?” she encouraged her to continue, feeling the rise of curiosity in her. She was not batting an eye as she was still drying her hair with a towel, waiting for Suzy’s coming words.

            “I…I really wanted to finally close the gap between me and oppa. After all, it’s been a very long time. It’s was like a lifetime, actually,” Suzy continued, now getting up from her bed. She sat at a corner and continued fidgeting with her fingers.

            “I’ve been making efforts to make a connection with him. Actually, all of us do. Umma, even appa, wants our family to be whole, each of us, healed. But oppa’s been refusing,” she explained.

            “Yesterday, I went trying again. I tried to call him several times but there was no answer. I decided to drop by on his place but he wasn’t there. He was avoiding me. And I can't help but to feel saddened and down because I’ve been doing countless efforts but there’s still no progress,” Suzy gazed at her with eyes disturbed. “Unnie, I’m afraid to grow tired of oppa. And I feel like I’m losing all the courage and hope now. I don’t know what else to do!”

           Feeling and understanding Suzy’s troubled state; Shin Hye walked over Suzy and gave her a comforting hug. “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. Just don’t lose your hope. For sure, everything will happen in its right timing,” she assured her, giving her a small smile and a pat on her back.

            Suzy ran her fingers in her hair. “I just don’t know what to do anymore,” Suzy exhaled. “Umma is saddened by what’s happening with oppa. She’s blaming herself and accusing herself of being a worthless mother. And it is painful to see umma that way. And it’s also hard to see oppa turning his back away from us.  It’s as if every now and then, no matter how we reach unto him, he’s always drifting away from us.”

            She smiled at Suzy. “Don’t worry. I’m sure your oppa just needs someone who would knock his head so it would clear things up, so he would be enlightened. He just needs some sort of explanation, and you guys should also have to lend him an ear by the time he voices out his feelings.”

            “I hope so, unnie. I hope you are right,” Suzy sighed.

            “Ah, I have an idea!” she exclaimed excitedly when a nice thought popped out of her mind.

            “What is it about?”

            “What about sending him a very special gift since it will be Christmas soon? A gift that would really suit him... A gift that would show how sincere you are… Gift labored with love, perhaps?”

            Suzy paused for a while, thinking of Shin Hye’s idea. A small smile curved her lips, thus lighting up her eyes.

            “That’s right, unnie!” she exclaimed, clasping her two hands as if what they’ve thought was the brightest idea. “Christmas time will be the best time to make up with someone. I hope oppa’s heart will softened with the occasion,” she hoped.

            Shin Hye gave Suzy her encouraging smile. She hopes that Suzy will finally be able to reach the cold heart of her distant and frigid elder brother. Though she hasn’t seen his brother yet, nor she knows something about him, of course, she just wants what will make Suzy happy.

            “Unnie, you will help me, right?” Suzy asked her with her pleading eyes. “You’ll help me find the best gift that would suit him.”

            “What? Me?” she asked, pointing to herself. “Are you sure?”

            Suzy nodded eagerly as a response. “Please, unnie?”

            Having no heart to disregard Suzy’s small request, she nodded as a sign of her acceptance. Besides, she also wants to help Suzy, whom she regards as one of her few friends now. She is like a sister to her.

            Suzy was delighted with her response that she clasped her hands in excitement and hugged her tight.

            “Thanks unnie!”

            “You are welcome,” she smiled, hugging Suzy back.

            “Ah unnie…” Suzy hang her words for a moment before she broke their hug. Suzy looked at her with eyes, somehow looking alarmed. “What shampoo are you using?”

            “Huh? The same shampoo that you are using,” she answered, wondering why Suzy was asking her that kind of question all of a sudden. “Why?”

            “I think that shampoo is not compatible with your hair,” Suzy answered showing her some strands of long black hair in her hands. “Look at these strands of hair on your shoulders. You’ll end up losing all your hair if this severe hair fall of yours will continue.”

            She laughed a bit at Suzy’s reaction like her hair-fall was some kind of a horrible problem.

            Suzy rolled her eyes. “How can you still laugh, unnie? This is a catastrophe, you know! You’ll be bald or even hairless in no time if this would continue.” Suzy stood up of her bed and came to examine Shin Hye’s bed where she saw and caught some other strands of long black hair. She showed it to her. “See?”

            “It’s alright, Suzy. I’m used to it already,” she said.

            “What?” Suzy’s forehead grew knotted as if what she heard was an unbelievable thing. “You’re crazy! If this is happening to me, or to any other girl, I’ll be problematic. And I may end up crying if I lost all my hair all of a sudden.”

           She smiled at Suzy’s words. She’s right. It’s a normal thing for a girl to be panicky when it comes to their hair. After all, it’s their crowning glory. It’s her crowning glory. And just like any other girl, she, too, loves her hair so much. Her black wavy hair which length reached the higher portion of her back that sways with her every move and dances with the caressing wind. She used to have that kind of hair any woman would be contended to have. But now, it’s slowly withering. And she just can't help but to get used to it.

            “I’ll get you a new shampoo that would fit for your hair type,” Suzy declared.

            “There’s no need for that, Suzy,” she smiled.

            “There is, unnie,” Suzy demanded, grabbing her hands and pulling her out of her seat. “Now, let’s go to the mall and buy you your new shampoo. And also oppa’s small present.”

            “There is really no need for buying me a new shampoo,” she insisted. “My hair is fine the way it is. Let’s just let it be.”

            “Whatever, unnie. You are stubborn, you know,” Suzy rolled her eyes and chuckled. “But even if you don’t want to, I would still buy you! So, let’s go now?”

            She chuckled with Suzy’s strong urging powers. “You are the stubborn one, Suzy!”

            She can only shook her head as Suzy pulled her out of the house.

________________

            Shin Hye pushed the glass walls of the photo-printing shop where the pictures she took with her camera were printed. Every day, it was like a natural thing already for her to take a picture of anything with her camera that she always brings with her. She would click her camera every time she saw something that would caught her eyes and her full attention—things, that most of the time, makes her appreciate the world’s beauty more; things which makes her feel how blessed it is to still be living in this world. Things, sceneries, events and people she would want to always see and remember. And these photographs are the things she is pasting in her thick notebook, which seemed to be her huge diary and scrapbook, containing her thoughts and her memories.

            Suzy urged her to go to the mall so she could help her pick the best gift she would give to her distant brother. That was their sole purpose. However, Suzy was undecided what item to pick for her brother even though it seemed like they have already ransacked all the stores in the mall. That was why they decided to take a break for a while, and do stuffs in their own accord. So while they separated for a while, she used her time to print her pictures so she could paste them up later this evening. Then, she would meet up Suzy on the part of the mall where they both agreed to see each other after some minutes.

            Holding the envelope of pictures in her hands, she walked out of the printing shop and directed her steps towards where she and Suzy are going to meet up. However, someone bumped to her on her way, causing the envelope to fall from her hands, thus making the pictures scattered in the floor.

            “I’m sorry,” the man who bumped at her bowed his head; real sorry for the trouble he had caused her. However, she was not really mindful with him as she was more concerned with the scattered photographs. So, she hurriedly went down to recover all the pictures, somehow worried that the pictures might get ruined with the little accident. Likewise, the guy also went down to help her get all the scattered pictures.

            “I’m really sorry,” the man bowed once again when they have already collected all the pictures. She also bowed her head as a sign of respect and thankfulness for helping her with the pictures. Yet, she’s still worried about the pictures that she didn’t bother to figure what does the guy who bumped at her looked like.

            “Oh, Shin Hye!” she was only dragged back into her senses when she heard the recognition in the man’s word. He knows her. Automatically, she came to face the guy who collided with her only to find out that it was Lee Jae Jin.

            A smile automatically curved her lips as her eyes lit up, recognizing Jae Jin’s mere presence.

            “Jae Jin-ah! It’s you!”

            “Oh, I’m sorry about that again, Shin Hye. I wasn’t looking at my direction that was why I bumped into you,” he apologized.

            “No, it’s okay,” she replied. “It’s good to see you here, Jae Jin.”

            “Yeah, me too,” Jae Jin charmingly smiled. “What are you doing here?”

            “I was just helping a friend to pick a gift. But we separated so I dropped by first at the printing shop.”

            “I see. Those pictures are quite numerous,” he commented. She just gave him a smile. “Well, would you mind if I do something for you since I somehow cause you a trouble?”

            “That’s really nothing Jae Jin. I’m fine with it. You don’t have to do anything to make it up for me,” she said. “Besides, you might have some appointment and I might be a bother to you.”

            “No. no…” Jae Jin shook his head. “Actually, I just dropped by at the mall, hoping to find some nice gift I could give to my hyungs and some friends. But finding gifts are quite hard to do so I still can't find the right items.”

            “You’re case is the same as ours. We can't also decide what to purchase,” she told him. “Oh, if you want, let’s just go and find nice stuffs together?”

            “I think that would be great,” Jae Jin smiled at her in agreement.

            “Alright,” she clasped her hands in satisfaction. Having three perspectives, she thinks that it will be much easier to find a fit and suitable gift now to those people they are finding gifts for. “Now, all we got to do is to wait for Suzy at our meeting place. Is that alright with you, Jinnie?”

            Jae Jin nodded in agreement, and they both went near the supermarket, occupying a seat in the food court where she and Suzy decided to meet up. Suzy went buying their stocks for this week in the supermarket that’s why they decided to meet up in that area. They are seated near an ice cream parlor, a spot easily accessible to almost all of the by passers at that area. At that part, Suzy can easily see them.

            “Shin Hye, can you please wait for me here for a second? I’m just going to get us an ice cream,” Jae Jin told her with a smile. And he was gone before she could even stop him in getting her an ice cream, or even tell him what flavor she wants. Minutes passed by, Jae Jin went back to their place, holding two huge cones of cookies and cream flavored ice cream. He gave one to her.

            “Thanks, Jin!” she said as she tasted the ice cream.

            “You’re welcome,” Jae Jin smiled at her.

            Fixing her gaze in her own ice cream filled cone, Hong Ki’s face suddenly flashed in her mind, remembering how he softened a little the last time they were together. And she smiled at the memory of him eating his strawberry ice cream.

            Upon remembering Hong Ki, she also recalled how stiff he is at times, and how he would suddenly loosen up a bit some times. She feels that something is holding Hong Ki back that’s why he is acting way too distant and cold.

            Gazing at Jae Jin who’s already munching at his own ice cream, and knowing for a fact that he is Hong Ki’s band mate and friend as well, Jae Jin sure knows something about Hong Ki.

            “Something wrong, Shin Hye?” Jae Jin asked her, noticing that she is staring at him.

            Shin Hye softened her resolve and smiled at him.

            “No, it’s nothing. I just remembered something,” she said, half-lying, trying to avoid the urge of her curiosity.

            However, she couldn’t contain all the curiosity that’s rising in her system now. After  few seconds of battling with herself whether to ask Jae Jin some questions about Hong Ki, she was finally defeated by her own curious half.

            “Ahm, Jae Jin…” she called softly, earning a gaze from him. “Would you mind if I ask you some questions?”

            Jae Jin paused for a while only to stare at her with questions in his eyes. Then, he slowly smiled at her.

            “Go ahead and ask me anything you want.”

            “Ah, uhm… I’m just wondering,” she struggled finding the right words to compose her questions. “How… did you become friends with Lee Hong Ki when he’s a cold and distant jerk? I mean, I couldn’t really believe that that frigid guy actually has friends.”

            Jae Jin laughed at her question, shaking his head in disbelief. And she felt shy with her question, thinking that it was really a stupid one.

             “You don’t really have to answer that stupid question of mine,” she smiled awkwardly when Jae Jin didn’t stop laughing.

             Jae Jin cleared his throat and stopped laughing after a while. “That’s right. It’s hard to be friends with that jerk. I didn’t know how I became friends with him,” Jae Jin grinned. “But I guess, it’s music that connected all of us.”

            “Well, Hong Ki may be stiff, quiet and distant most of the time but he is passionate only in one thing, and that’s music. He seemed to be a different person when he is up in the stage and singing,” Jae Jin smiled. And she has to agree with that. She saw how emotions lit up Hong Ki’s face every time he is singing.

            “How did you got to know him?” she asked.

            “The five of us went in the same school. If I remember it correctly, I was only 16 that time when FT Island was created as the campus’ official band. Hong Ki was 17 that time, I think,” Jae Jin narrated, recalling how everything started. “There was an audition held in the whole school and a lot of students tried. But we were the blessed five who passed the audition. And from that time, we are officially named as FT Island, bonded and unified with our music.”

            “During that time, no one knows each other except for Hong Ki and Jong Hoon who were best of friends. They grew up together, actually Hong Ki was living at the Choi’s residence that time because he already lost his father when he was only ten, and his mom has her own family already and Hong Ki didn’t want to interfere with his mom’s new life,” Jae Jin continued his story, earning some mute gasp from her with his revelations.

            “But even with Jong Hoon, Hong Ki didn’t seem that much of what a best friend is,” he said. “The Hong Ki you see today is just the same with the Hong Ki we knew from the very beginning. He is distant; he is quiet, cold and frigid most of the times. At first, we couldn’t understand why he was acting that way when we should all be united and be friends. But later on, we got to understand him better.”

            “But how did you understand him? Did he somehow open up to you guys?”

            Jae Jin nodded. “He did. But it was not that open unlike any other friends. Hong Ki is the kind of person that would keep everything to himself, even all the pains and the grief. But everything is easily manifested on him, actually.”

            “But, how did he became that kind of person at the first place?” she asked with furrowed eye brows. She felt curiosity running through her every vein, with her ears listening attentively to every word Jae Jin is saying.

            “The Hong Ki we see today is just his defense mechanism to cope up with all the grief and sorrows he has in his heart. He is a lost kid,” he said, flashing grief and understanding in his eyes for his friend. “He was defined with what seemed to be a tragedy in his family. He was only four years old when his mom left them. He was ten when his father died. During that time, his mother tried to take charge of Hong Ki, but he only refused to her, not wanting himself to be stuck at his mom’s new husband and daughter. Good thing that Jong Hoon’s father who was a close friend of Hong Ki’s father took charge of taking care of the young Hong Ki. However, it seemed like Hong Ki still grew alone, not feeling the love and care he needed from his own family. He is a child who grew up with many confusions and painful memories. He is afraid of rejection, of showing his true self because he is very vulnerable. Until now, he is still that lost child.”

            She looked down at the floor, her heart tightening from the sad story he reiterated to her. She knew it. There is a message behind all those sharp glares and lonely gaze of Hong Ki. His emotionless face is a manifestation of all the sorrows and grief he had kept inside himself all these years. There is a reason of his being mean and distant, of his being cold and unapproachable. They are the same—they lost someone really dear to them, and were left with someone so close yet someone who’s also unreachable. But they were defined differently.

            Silence roamed between her and Jae Jin after his last words. It’s as if no one could decipher or formulate the next words to say. The next thing she heard afterwards is a loud screaming of a girl, catching her attention.

            “Unnie!” Suzy called out with a huge cute smile pasted on her lips. She is running at her direction excitedly as if they’ve never seen each other for years. “Unnie, look at what I’ve found! This is perfect for you!” Suzy happily exclaimed when she reached her position. She gave her a paper bag, urging her to look inside it and see for herself what it contains. When she took the thing out of the bag, she realized that it was a shampoo.

            “That is the hair fall control shampoo perfect for you unnie!” she happily beamed, clasping her hands energetically.

            She laughed at Suzy’s hyper activeness. She is so cute and adorable in her own way. And she can only shake her head in her stubbornness. She emphasized already to her that there is no need for buying her a hair fall control shampoo because it wouldn’t take effect anyway, but Suzy didn’t listen.

            “Thank you Suzy,” she said, flashing her sweet smile. Well, she won’t deny the fact that though Suzy is a stubborn little kid, she is still so sweet and she appreciated that, really. “Ah, by the way, let me introduce you to my friend here,” she said, finally giving Jae Jin some attention.

            Jae Jin shyly smiled at the cute girl in front of him, while Suzy felt ashamed of her attitude a while ago. She didn’t even realize that Shin Hye was actually with someone for all this time. She was very excited to give Shin Hye her little gift, and forgot about her manners. Now, she worries of what this guy would think about her.

            “This is Lee Jae Jin. He is the bassist of the band named FT Island,” Shin Hye began introducing them. “And Jae Jin, this is Bae Suzy, my roommate.”

            “Annyeong haseyo, I’m Lee Jae Jin, just like what you heard,” Jae Jin smiled charmingly as he bowed in respect. Instinctively, Suzy did the same, showing that she has the manners also.

            “I’m Suzy. It’s nice meeting you,” she said. “And I’m sorry if I didn’t recognize your presence a while ago. I was just too excited.”

            Jae Jin nodded his head with understanding. “That’s okay, Suzy.”

            “Uhm, so let’s go?” Shin Hye asked after a few seconds of silence. She noticed that Suzy and Jae Jin are just exchanging shy glances at each other that she felt she has to interfere already with their eyeing game. Hearing her words, the two nodded mutely as a sign of their agreement. And she can only smile in wonder at how these two looked really cute.

            The three of them began raiding all the stores in the mall that they could visit, finding gifts for the people they would give it for. However, despite seeing almost everything, they still struggle to find the gifts they wanted to buy. Until she saw a thing that caught her eye...

            On a jewelry store they went into, she spotted a golden necklace with a small star pendent. It was simple yet beautiful at the same time. And when she saw that, one image automatically popped into her mind…

            Lee Hong Ki.

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