Baekhyun's eyes fluttered open before closing again. Where the hell was he? Confusion hit him like a blow to the head. He fought to open his eyes again, and came face to face with a demonic creature staring down at him through massive eyes. 

"Morning sunshine."

"Ahh!" Baekhyun screamed, flailing backwards on to the floor and hitting his already lightheaded head. His right hand dived into something creamy, and when he glanced over he found vanilla ice cream laced between his fingers. 

"Wha-whaa?" he grumbled, unable to string the memories together.

Chanyeol chuckled before kneeling next to him and cleaning the older boy's hands finger by finger with a soft tissue.

 "Relax" he whispered, putting a pillow under Baekhyun’s bed. "I’d take you to the patient bed but I know you're not big on being close." 

Baekhyun muttered something incoherent and Chanyeol politely nodded, pretending he knew exactly what the intern was saying. 

"Don't worry, in two minutes you'll be back to normal" he whispered, the older boy's hair. Baekhyun looked up at him with lazy eyes and blinked in understanding. His mind was a cloudy mess, but Chanyeol’s hand felt soft against his hair and with each caress, a sense of serenity grew within his core.

​            When he took a shy glance upwards, he couldn’t help but notice how the scientist's eyes shone with the same vivacious light of the sun. His water blue sweater made Baekhyun feel like he was at the beach with waves rocking on the shore with beige sand warming up every inch of his skin. 

“I can't stay awake" he grumbled. 

"Okay, well how about a bedtime story then?” Chanyeol suggested and Baekhyun sighed once again at the feeling of fingers gliding through hair.  “You know, eye liner really suits you. I tried wearing it once myself. During my first visit to India, this little girl was selling some homemade kajol and told me to buy some ‘cause I’m ‘pretty’. I guess flattery did it’s trick because I ended up buying 27 sticks which, thinking back, probably wasn't the smartest move…”

Chanyeol's story went on, but Baekhyun drifted off to sleep. Not because it was boring but because the deep tenor of Chanyeol’s voice sounded like a lullaby to Baekhyun’s tired ears.

*          

"Dr. Park?" Kris asked, entering the lab.

"Yes?" asked Chanyeol, looking up at his secretary through foggy goggles. 

"Baekhyun's still out?"

Chanyeol put a boiling beaker of water down and sighed. "No, he woke up, fell off the chair, hit his head and then fell back asleep..."

Kris rolled his eyes, and walked over to Baekhyun lying on the floor. He frowned at the drool dripping down the side of his mouth. 
"I think you should wake him up soon. It's nearly 7PM, and he hasn't done any interning yet." 

"Give him a break, it's his first day." 

Kris pouted, and tightened his tie. "I hate to remind you but the sooner you get to work, the more prepared he’ll be to-"

"I know!" snapped Chanyeol, immediately apologizing for his sudden outburst. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout-”

"It's okay" whispered Kris, avoiding eye contact. "It’s just…maybe if he's as smart as Dr. Chen says he is, you two will find the-"

"Kris" interjected Chanyeol. "We both know that's highly implausible. He and I might be able to lay the groundwork but I really doubt-"

"Why don't you have any hope?!" yelled Kris, eyes shooting into Chanyeol’s like baleful arrows. The scientist shrugged his shoulders and looked downwards. Kris’ Korean was pretty much fluent, but it was times like these when remnants of his Chinese accent came out.

"It’s not that I don’t have hope. I’m just being realistic." 

After turning his face away, Kris pursed his lips to stop himself from crying.

 "Kris? Don't...please don't..."

"I'm not!" shouted the secretary, gaining straightening out his posture and wiping any stray teardrops. It always amazed Chanyeol how easily Kris regained his professionalism.

"I just came in to tell you that Tao's here to pick me up. The intern brought some food so just eat dinner with him. And once again, Dr. Park…if you even dare to make me get cookies for you, I will quit! Mark my words." 

Kris glared at Chanyeol then turned to leave. He stopped when he reached the door and spoke with his back to his boss.

"Take care of yourself Chan."  The secretary let out an airy sigh and exited the lab. Park Chanyeol wiped a silent tear dangling from his eye, making damn sure it didn't fall. 

*              

As Kris walked into the elevator, he pressed the side of his frame against the wall. It was hard going to work everyday not knowing if it would be his last. The uncertainty burned his insides. 

As the elevator descended, Kris loosened little pieces of his suit here and there. He ed the top collar of his shirt, took off his jacket, and loosened his tie. When work ended, Kris the secretary became Wu Yifan.

Unlike mr.secretary Kris, Yifan ate maple syrup-drenched pancakes every Sunday. Yifan watched basketball games for hours on end.  Yifan proposed to Tao under the stars. 

And most of all unlike Kris, Yifan cared for Chanyeol more than life. Chanyeol had always felt like a younger brother to him. He’d heard about all of his adventures, and witnessed the strength of his mind but it was all a waste. It would all soon end.

And as much as he hated to admit it, he was first and foremost Chanyeol's secretary. Not his brother, not even his friend. 

The sky was a dreary shade of grey when Yifan exited Park Enterprises. Tao sat lazily with his feet up in the driver's seat of their red Mercedes Benz when Yifan slipped in and mumbled a greeting. 

"Are you okay?"  asked Tao looking at his fiancé through worried eyes. From the sweat that draped Tao’s forehead, Yifan knew he’d just had training, but it didn’t stop water from welling up in his eyes.

"Yifan" said Tao, reaching over to hold him in his arms. Yifan sobbed mercilessly on his shoulder and Tao didn't have to ask why. These outbursts had become somewhat common ever since, well -- that day.

All Tao could do was his hair and plant loving kisses everywhere. Rain splattered against the car window and the harsh sound made Yifan wince and nuzzle further into Tao’s chest. He despised being vulnerable like this. But the thing he hated most was accepting the fact that things weren't going to be alright. 

Tao hugged him tighter and leaned into his ear. "Let's go home and have a bubble bath."

A shiver sprinted up his back and he nodded slowly, the heel of his hand wiping his eyes. "Okay."

Tao moved his lips greedily over Yifan' neck, praying that the kisses would help him forget his worries. If only for now.

*                                              

            After Baekhyun left for Park Enterprises, Jongin reeled in embarrassment over his roommate hearing him moan Kyungsoo’s name. So instead of moping around the apartment until Baek got home, he called Luhan and Sehun up. The two lads were always up for a party and Jongin needed something to distract him from feeling humiliated.

            What he didn’t expect, however, that along with Luhan and Sehun would come a third person with liquid brown eyes and a heart-shaped smile.

.

“Hey Jongin, hope you don’t mind that I brought Kyungsoo along. How about we have one of those baking contests again?” Luhan spoke with a matter-of-fact tone, but the corner of his lips itched to pull into a cheeky smirk. Next to him, Sehun grinned at Jongin, and Kyungsoo wore a worried expression. Jongin knew what Luhan and Sehun were up to, but in that moment with Kyungsoo looking so cute, and Luhan being all professional, he couldn’t exactly say no.

“Yeah that’s totally cool. I mean this apartment is technically Kyungsoo’s second home.” Jongin looked at Luhan as he said this and made sure to keep his gaze off Kyungsoo. He was no stanger to the excruciating pain of having to look away when everything you want is held up in front of you.

-

            After a timed baking battle, two cupcakes sat idly in front of Sehun, the judge for this evening. Luhan made a pumpkin spice cake with white vanilla icing drizzled on the top and Kyungsoo created a white chocolate cake with raspberry filling.  

Sehun's stomach grumbled as his teeth sank into the cupcakes. Jongin sat on the opposite side of the kitchen counter and quietly admired Kyungsoo’s moon eyes and his silky flesh. Right now, as Sehun tore into his cupcake, Kyungsoo gnawed on his lips and it was the most glorious sight Jongin had ever seen. A crazy thought crossed his mind that Kyungsoo was intentionally teasing him, but he mentally slapped himself and tried to control his imagination.

Jongin had met Kyungsoo during Seoul University's freshman orientation. They ended up talking to each other during lunch and met up later for dinner. Unfortunately, they lost contact when school started because of their different majors, but there was somewhat a solution to this problem.

​            Baekhyun kept Kyungsoo's high school graduation photo up in the living room, and Jongin found himself staring at it.

Sometimes on rough mornings, or in the middle of the night, he'd hold the picture up in his hands and admire it. 

​            It wasn't the most flattering photo of Kyungsoo. In fact on several occasions Kyungsoo had begged Baekhyun to take it down. The woes of adolescence were etched into the photograph: terrible haircut, acne, hideous school uniform. And yet Jongin still loved it. Maybe it was the way Kyungsoo’s eyes bulged with wonder or the painfully awkward smile on his lips. Whatever the reason was, it made Jongin’s heart feel whole.

​After Sehun had gulped down both cupcakes, he immediately announced Luhan as the winner. Kyungsoo laughed the defeat off and clapped as Luhan wrapped his arms around Sehun’s waist. Perhaps the thing Jongin liked most about Kyungsoo was his humility. He wasn’t like Baekhyun who always had to come out on top.

"Luhan, you're squishing me!" shouted Sehun.

"I don't care!" cried Luhan, tightening his grip around the younger boy. 

Jongin's eyebrows knitted together in slight frustration. He may not have tried the cupcakes but white chocolate raspberry sounded a hell of a lot better than pumpkin spice vanilla.  

"What’s wrong grumpy gills?" asked Sehun. Jongin shrugged his shoulders and slipped his hand into his pockets. 
"He's just mad 'cause his cupcake batter ended up on the ceiling" said Luhan rolling his eyes.

A chuckle escaped Jongin’s lips as he shook his head. So baking wasn't his forte, Kyungsoo wouldn't mind right?

"Maybe you could give him some private cooking lessons" said Sehun, nudging Kyungsoo and winking at Jongin. .

I’m going get you maknae.

*

A couple of hours later, the boys were chatting (at least Luhan and Sehun were) in the living room over a couple of beers. Sehun and Jongin were under the drinking age, but nobody made a huge fuss about it, although maybe they should have since both of them (particulary Jongin) had terrible tolerance. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, didn't drink at all and at one point excused himself to the apartment's balcony.

"Here’s your chance! Go talk to him. He’s obviously giving you a hint." said Luhan nudging Jongin. “"Tell him you liked his cupcakes."

Sehun guffawed and Jongin rolled his eyes.

 "He makes me nervous though."

"Oh c'mon, you've talked to him before right? You can't be scared of him forever!" added Sehun. Jongin nodded in agreement, and stared at Kyungsoo through the transparent door that led to the outside. His arms were perched on the balcony's edge and he looked as if he was thinking deeply about something. Jongin in a deep breath as he imagined winding his arms around him and kissing that milky- 

"Just go would ya?! It's getting late" cried Luhan, pushing Jongin's chest. The younger boy stood up, and stretched his shoulders out.

You can do this Jongin.

As he made his way towards the balcony, he took several swigs of his beer before opening the slide door that led outside. The sun was setting and rusty colors mingled in the sky. . 

"Jongin?" he asked, turning at the sound of incoming footsteps.

Jongin almost fainted when he came face to face with those doe eyes. Kyungsoo looked like an angel in the sunset, the fading light his halo. 

"Hey uh-mind if I join you?" asked the younger boy, walking towards the edge. 

"Be my guest.”

No matter how many times Jongin had stood on the balcony, the amazing view of Seoul always made him gasp. The glistening lights, the sound of cars, the energy of the city.  

"It’s amazing up here" said Kyungsoo, and Jongin nearly blushed as he noticed the older boy staring at him.

"It is. Sometimes, hyung and I have breakfast up here."

Jongin gave himself a little pat on the back. So far, he hadn’t choked up and wasn’t stuttering at all. Then again the beer may or may not have something to do with his new found confidence. 

"You know...because of you, hyung seems so much happier."

Jongin’s heart swelled a little. "He does?"

"Yeah. You're -um kinda like the brother he never had" whispered Kyungsoo, eyes trailing downwards. 

“Well I don’t think Baek thinks that. I mean he’s already got the most wonderful brother of them all.”

Okay so it was a cheesy thing to say but it made Kyungsoo smile and it was true.

"He does?"

Jongin nodded. "I mean, everyone can see how much you care for him."

“Everyone except  him" Kyungsoo chuckled, but  it was immediately followed by a deep sigh. 

“He does...He’s just recovering from what happened with your mom, that’s all.”

“But he’s always been like this. I just...I don't know, I just wish he’d look me in the eye for once and tell me that he loves me too.”

“He does love you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because of all those photographs of you in the apartment. Because he brings you up in conversations...Because some things don’t have to be said in order to be felt.” 

Kyungsoo didn’t respond but with the way his jaw fell, Jongin knew he'd gotten his point across. He smiled to himself and took another swig of his beer, liking the electric chill that went through him.

“Can I have a sip of that?" 

"Uh-yeah sure" replied Jongin, handing the older boy the beverage.

As Kyungoo wrapped his thick lips around the bottle, Jongin couldn’t help but feel red warmth accumulate in his body.

"Here" said Kyungsoo returning the beer and wiping his mouth. "That tasted gross."

Jongin chuckled, "Was that your first time?"

"Yes actually" snickered Kyungsoo. "And probably my last!"

“It takes a while to get used to the taste.” 

“I don’t think I could ever get used to that” laughed Kyungsoo, lifting his hand to run fingers through his hair. As he did this, Jongin noticed a smudge of black paint on his wrist but decided against asking about it.

            They talked like this for some time. When Luhan and Sehun came outside to say their goodbyes, they were still extremely obnoxious with their less than sublte winking despite being drunk beyond belief.

“Harr fun Jorrgin!”

“Yerr. Be sure to weazz protection!”

            Words couldn’t describe how much Jongin wanted to kill them in that moment. He practically shoved them out of the apartment and apologized to Kyungsoo for their behavior.

“I’m really sorry. They’re just so immat-”

“Don’t worry. They’re my friends too.”

“They’re such knuckleheads though...Especially Sehun. I'm still pissed your cupcake didn't win.”

            Kyungsoo smirked, then looked up at the sky.

“It’s such a shame. You can hardly see any stars in the city.”

Jongin shrugged. Not even a thousand glistening constellations could compare to the sight infront of him.

“I can think of worse things.”

-

            When Kyungsoo said it was time for him to go, Jongin wanted nothing more than for him to stay. As they walked inside together, his stomach growled in protest. Why did he have to leave? Tomorrow the effects of the beer would wear off and then the only way Jongin would be able to communicate to Kyungsoo would be through Kai.

 As Kyungsoo slipped his shoes on, he looked up at Jongin and thanked him.

“For what?”

“For opening my eyes.”

Jongin bowed, and opened the door.  

 "Bye."

As Kyungsoo left, something fell out of his pocket. Jongin picked it up straight away, and he found yet again a heart-shaped cut out of a Kai poems.

I know an angel with only one wing,
with a song in his heart he has yet to sing.
He wanders without aim between earth and sky,
searching for his soulmate to help him fly

 Kyungsoo snatched it from his hands and stuffed it in his pocket.

“I-uh-”

“You really like Kai huh?”

After biting his lip, and furrowing his eyebrows momentarily, Kyungsoo’s face softened.

“I love Kai.”

He looked Jongin right in the eyes as he said this, and then turned to leave. Jongin counted his footsteps. 1, 2, 3, 4. There was a heavy feeling in his heart that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. After closing the front door, the silence of the apartment hit him like a salty tide.

Kyungsoo’s words kept replaying in his head, I love Kai. I love Kai. I love Kai. With every replay, Jongin’s heart dropped but at the same time some thing didn’t feel right.

"I love Kai"

but not Jongin. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*credit for poem_

Okay wow that was the speediest update i've ever done omfg. 

Comments and critiques are appreciated as always.