Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side~Sherlock Holmes

Baekhyun promised himself years ago never fall for anyone and so far, he'd been successful.The chances of finding someone you love, who actually loved you back were so minuscule that the odds would never be in your favor. And even if they were, love's an addictive drug that drags you down a rabbit hole of self-destruction. 

Thankfully Baekhyun wasn't like Jongin, who'd long been trapped in love's endless labriynth for two years now.

"Would you stop staring at those internship papers and give me some moral support here?" asked Jongin, taking a long pensive sip of his black coffee.

Baekhyun's eyes snapped up and settled on his best friend’s grimace. The permanent smirk usually planted on his handsome face was nowhere to be seen.

"What’s wrong?" he asked, looking around the university’s dimly lit coffeehouse for an explanation. His lips formed a tiny circle of understanding when he took in the image of Kyungsoo munching on chocolate biscuits and conversing with the one and only Suho, Jongin’s secret nemesis and head editor of Seoul University’s newspaper, Sinmun.

Baekhyun sighed as his gaze fell back on his best friend who was wistfully spinning a silver teaspoon in his ebony coffee. Baekhyun gripped his own mug of French vanilla tightly, and pursed his lips. As much as he hated seeing his friend in despair; he kind of enjoyed witnessing Kim Jongin's vulnerability. It made him feel special, albeit a little selfish.

Lately, Jongin had been needing a lot of "moral support". It was kind of pathetic really, since the reason behind this was Kyungsoo and Suho’s blossoming friendship. Baekhyun was a little surprised at the pair's closeness himself (considering the age difference) but he'd blown it off. Kyungsoo was probably just kissing up to the editor to get more of his articles featured in the school paper. Jongin’s assumptions, however, went to the opposite extreme.

 "How many times are we going to go over this? Just because Kyungsoo talks to Suho, doesn't mean he likes him or anything" said Baekhyun, patting his dongsaeng’s shoulder.

Jongin pouted slightly and leaned his head back, "I know it doesn't but still...they sit together all the time."

"Well if you haven't noticed we do that too and you're be the last person I'd fall in love with.” Baekhyun grinned and took another sip of his drink - deliberately giving himself a cream moustache to cheer up his best friend.

"You know Baekhyunnie, if I never met your brother, I probably would have fallen for you."

The older boy's cheeks reddened, "Wow ... well I um.."

"I know, I know, love's not your thing blah blah blah" said Jongin, as if he’d said it a million times before. "I'm not asking you out smarty pants. I mean, we live together; if I liked you, I would have made a move ages ago." 

There we go, Jongin was back to his regular arrogant self. Baekhyun sighed with relief, and proceeded to irritate him.

"No you wouldn't have."

In response, Jongin leaned in so close that his plush lips were inches away from Baekhyun’s. 

"And why is that " he whispered, his hot breath suffocating his hyung.

Baekhyun grimaced and tried to push Jongin away, but it only urged him closer. 

"Come on tell me, hyung. Why?"

"Because you've been in love with my brother for 2 years and still haven't done anything about it." 

Jongin gulped and pulled away, mumbling a curse. He slouched in his chair and dragged his fingers angrily through his hair. 

"Why am I such a coward, hyung?"

"Just relax, Jongin."

Quite frankly, he didn't really understand why the younger boy was so upset. Why did he even care for Kyungsoo so much? Baekhyun glanced over his younger brother's face and intently observed his round eyes, chubby face, and heart-shaped smile. 

Only one question tugged at his heart: why Kyungsoo? Out of all the people Jongin could choose, why him? What was so exceptional about him?

How had he become so important to Jongin? 

Jongin had answered these questions many times but Baekhyun had never truly understood his answers. Or maybe he had for a fleeting second, but the meanings always eluded him, like grains of sand through one's fingers.

*

"Why do you love him, Jongin?"

"I don't know. I just do."

"Is it cause he's a good writer?" 

"Not necessarily -"

"Maybe because he has large eyes?"

"Well they are -"

"Or is it because of his good cooking skills? Although, Jongin if that's what you're looking for, Lu Han would be a better -"

"What? No-"

"Or maybe it's because I'm your best friend and he's my brother, so loving him gives you double the amount of -"

"What are you trying to do?" 

"I'm trying to decipher why."

"Why what?"

"Why you love him."

"I just do. Sure he's a great cook, and writer and person but those don't stand as reasons."

"Then what does?"

"It's hard to explain, Baekhyun...Haven't you ever felt drawn to something and not known why?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... like have you ever looked out at the rain and got an impulse to go dance in it?"

"Not really."

"Okay well that's how I feel when I see Kyungsoo."

"Huh?"

"He's my rain."

"Rain?"

"Rain."

*

A waiter with dirty blonde hair and a blue apron approached the duo and placed a plate of chocolate muffins in front of them. Oh Sehun was a second year chemistry major who worked alongside Jongin. His grades weren’t the best though since he spent most of his time goofing off with his best friend Luhan, who also happened to work at the coffeehouse. He was pretty popular with noonas for his cute lisp and charming looks - too bad he was a pathetic excuse for a waiter.

“Sehun we didn’t order these …” said Baekhyun pointing at the two muffins.

"I know. But sunbae, you two looked so sad that Luhan made you a special treat on the house." Sehun bowed, and turned to leave before Jongin grabbed his wrist and tugged on it, "Hold on."

"What is it?" asked Sehun, presumptuously taking a seat next to him (He earned his title as a terrible waiter).

"Do you have any copies of Sinmun?" 

"Yeah, Lay, the paper boy dropped them off an hour ago. Let me go get you one." Sehun took off while Jongin took a voracious bite of his muffin, eyes twinkling as he swallowed it.

"We should look sad more often so Luhan gives us stuff for free."

Baekhyun smirked and took a small, polite bite of his own muffin. The chocolate chips melted in his hot mouth and the muffin's fluffy texture took him to heaven and back. His eyes flickered shut in euphoria.

“Imagining someone , Baekhyun?” whispered Sehun, when he returned. The older boy opened his eyes in shock and shook his head defensively. “N-no it’s not what it -"

“Did you bring the copy, Sehun?” interjected Jongin, folding his arms.

“Yep, here you go,” replied the waiter, throwing it into his classmate’s lap.

"Thanks!" said Jongin, immediately flipping to the last page. His eyes widened in excitement as he looked over the words. "Well lookie here, Kai won the award for Seoul University's favorite poet ... again." He leaned back on his chair and smirked arrogantly. Sehun, one of the only people who knew who Kai was, patted Jongin’s shoulder in congratulations and then excused himself because Xiumin the coffeehouse manager was glaring at him for not doing his job.

"Did Kai win?" a sweet-sounding voice asked from behind Jongin. He gulped because he knew exactly who it belonged to - Kyungsoo.  

Two large eyes penetrated Jongin's soul when he turned around. He averted his gaze quickly because the intensity of Kyungsoo’s stare was too overwhelming. It always was.

“Y-yeah ... Kai won."

Kyungsoo's eyes lit up in pure excitement, "That’s really great news! I voted for him many times.”

"You must really like him,” said Jongin, eyes shifting shyly from left to right. Baekhyun sighed at the pair, and then stared down at his french vanilla coffee; the snowy cream made small hearts in the beige liquid. 

Kyungsoo nodded shyly and looked down at his hands, "I wish I knew who he was."

Everyone knew that Kyungsoo was Kai’s biggest admirer and that he talked about wanting to discover his identity quite often. More than often. More like every single second of the day. Baekhyun’s ears had gone numb from hearing the same thing over and over again.

He and his brother had never been close in the way brothers are. They cared for each other, talked to each other, but Baekhyun had always felt a sense of animosity towards him. It wasn’t that Kyungsoo had done anything wrong; quite the contrary, Kyungsoo was the epitome of perfection and envy ruined relationships even in miniscule amounts.

"You know, Jongin knows a lot about Kai," said Baekhyun, raising his left eyebrow. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened again and a shy, silly smile materialized itself on his plush lips. It was about time Kyungsoo knew the truth.

Hope rimmed Kyungsoo's eyes as he looked at Jongin, "You know Kai?" 

"I um ..." Jongin gulped and loud palpitations reverberated through his ears. He was drowning in anxiety, but he slipped out of it when a sheet of paper fell out of Kyungsoo's left jean pocket. He rapidly leaned down to pick it up, and found a heart-shaped cut-out of the first poem he'd written as Kai.

Love, if you love me,   

lie next to me.

of the tiredness, the fatuousness,

the semi-lust of intentional indifference.

Kyungsoo immediately snatched the cut-out from the younger boy's hands and turned a shade of crimson.

"I um, gotta go. I have to go see Suho because I um, an article I'm writing f-for the um, newspaper. Okay, bye." He smiled nervously at Jongin, then darted off. He ran like a penguin, arms flailing from side to side and short legs taking small, impulsive strides. Jongin watched him intently as fled the scene and sighed in exasperation. Kyungsoo’s little fingers were wound tightly around a poem that Kai had written for him and he didn't even know. 

Baekhyun stared at Jongin's look of longing before drawing in a breath or two himself. He stared down at the internship file in his hands and reread the little note Park Chanyeol had left for him.

Dear intern, I look forward to meeting you. From what I've heard, you're older than me so please allow me to call you hyung. I hope that we will work well together and you're not put off by my enthusiasm. Wanna know a secret? I wasn't supposed to send you this note but I felt like I should. We're going to be spending every day together for the next few months so we might as well become friends, right? Anyway, see you soon, Byun Baekhyun.

Yours truly,

Park Chanyeol. 

With closed eyes, Baekhyun tilted his head back in blissful disbelief while his insides tangled themselves up into a knot.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*Excerpt from The Rain a poem by Robert Creeley

I hope you liked the update

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~electricsherlock