Seoul 2003

The spacious kitchen was lit by the last peek of sun. The fading light fell on the golden streaks in Eun Mae’s hair and reflected off the silver pots and pans that lay cluttered on the countertop. She wiped her forehead before stretching her arm to grab a box of spaghetti off the top shelf. Baekhyun sat on one of the kitchen’s stools and watched her, toying with the decorative basket of fake fruit on the counter.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to play with that?” barked Eun Mae, rolling her eyes and digging her nails into the plastic wrap that covered the box of spaghetti.

Baekhyun mumbled an apology and reluctantly let go off the fake apple in his hand. The faint sound of cartoons emanated in the background as Kyungsoo watched them slouched on a sofa in the living room. Baekhyun, on the other hand had no time for triviality. His mind was racing with ideas, ideas of how to get his separated father and mother back together.

It wasn’t because he didn’t get to see his dad. Seung Jo was a weekly visitor afterall, but Baekhyun couldn’t shake the emptiness he felt when he saw those wholesome, happy families on TV: two parents, two kids, four smiles.  

Those parents loved each other. They didn’t bicker, or sneer at each other like Eun Mae did with Seung Jo. A plan brewed in Baekhyun’s mind. A plan elicited by none other than Park Chanyeol. There was a passage in one of the scientist’s books about the power of memory…the way it can trigger strong repercussions and flashbacks of the past.

Maybe there was a way Baekhyun could bring his mother’s memories to life. There had to be a time when she and Seung Jo didn’t bicker. There had to be a time, when they kissed and hugged. There just had to be.

Baekhyun was determined to make Eun Mae remember. Outside, the sun had set. The golden streaks in Eun Mae’s hair had now faded back to black.

“Ai yah!” Eun Mae exclaimed, holding up a burnt cigarette bud in her fingers. “I don’t get your father. I’ve told him so many times not to smoke in the house!  He just doesn’t listen. Please don’t ever take up smoking, okay? It’s bad for you”

"I won’t. Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you and Dad meet?"

Eun Mae glared at her son and gestured towards the pot of spaghetti, "Baek, I'm kind of busy right now if you didn’t notice."

"But I'm curious...I can help you cook dinner, please can you tell me?"

"No!" she shouted as her son tried to touch the boiling pot of spaghetti. "Just go read your park chanyeol book okay?"

"Mom please…don’t I deserve to know?" pleaded Baekhyun.

    Eun Mae massaged her temples, then smoothened the pale pink apron draped over her body and sighed.

"If I tell you, will you please let me make dinner in peace?"

Baekhyun nodded. "Yes."

"Okay" her lips formed a tight line. "Your father...your father and I met in-"

Eun Mae's story was interrupted by an incoming phone-call. Baekhyun groaned.

    "Hello?..Yes this is-what?...I-...I'll be right there” Eun Mae’s face sank, as she hung up. She turned off the stove, and grabbed Baekhyun’s arm.

“Umma, what are you-“

“We have to go the hospital”

“No! I feel fine, I promise, I’ve been taking my meds”

“It’s not about you”

“Then who is it-?”

“Just go get your brother” she snapped.

Confused, Baekhyun sprinted to the living room to get Kyungsoo.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go” ordered Eun Mae, taking off her apron and using her fingers to brush out her hair.

“But umma, why are-“ asked Kyungsoo.

“No questions” ordered Eun Mae. When she opened the door, a pang of icy wind blew into the house.

_

This was the first time Baekhyun had been in the hospital in a long time. He’d long forgotten the sickly green walls, and looking at them now elicited painful memories. He and Kyungsoo sat in one of the waiting lounges, while their mother went to the reception desk.

“Hyung, why are we here?” asked Kyungsoo, his wide eyes looking around in confusion.

    “I don’t know” replied Baekhyun. “Mom got a call, and just rushed here…I hope it’s not Dad...”

Kyungsoo’s throat clogged up.

_

After 20 minutes Eun Mae returned to the waiting lounge. Her hair was unruly, her eyes swollen. Black tracks trailed over her cheeks.

“Boys” she said, sitting down on a seat in front of them and slipping her fingers through theirs. “Your father’s sick.”

Kyungsoo released a little yelp.

“W-what’s wrong?” asked Baekhyun.

“The doctor uh...the doctor believe he has lung cancer. He collapsed to his knees while working today because of pain in his lung.”

Baekhyun’s face sunk. His entire plan had just been shattered into a million shards. “Where is he?”

“He’s resting, Baek.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes fell to the ground. Silent tears made their way down his cheek, some fell to the floor, others got lost in the crooks in the side of his nose.

_

When they returned home, Kyungsoo went straight to his bed and collapsed in exhaustion. Baekhyun on the other hand, stayed cross-legged on the floor of his living room and watched the ceiling fan’s blades turn again, and again, and again-

“Honey, I  think it’s time to sleep” whispered his mother, kneeling next to him.

“I can’t” retorted Baekhyun, eyes unmoving, stuck on the ceiling fan.

“At least try, come on I’ll tuck you into bed”

Baekhyun shook his head. “I need to know something before I can sleep”

“What?”

“How you and Dad met” Baekhyun’s eyes shifted to his mother’s.

Eun Mae sighed and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s too late for this kind of talk Baek. Just get some rest okay.” She exhaled, and as she left the room, Baekhyun’s sanity left with her.

Everything around him turned bleak. The scorching hot air, despite the exhaustive monotony of the fan blades made Baekhyun dig his face into the carpet. He released a muffled moan and punched the ground with angry fists. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He’d read about lung cancer, slowly it would eat his father’s body like a menacing parasite.

Slowly, Seung Jo would disintegrate, crumble to ashes. Baekhyun yelped at the image of his dead body, at the image of an already broken family torn once again.

With all of this mind, he wept. For how long he wasn’t sure, but it was morning by the time he stopped.

·           *    *

Present day:

When Baekhyun returned to his apartment after Chanyeol’s party, he was all smiles (even though his suit was stained).

“You clearly have something to share” chuckled Jongin, munching on some of the leftover popcorn he and Sehun had made.

“And so do you!” cried Baekyun, looking at the state of the living room. Pillows everywhere, pieces of popcorn stuck in the carpet, empty coke cans rolling  around on the floor.

“Ah don’t worry about it. I’ll clean it up in a sec. Now tell me how was it? That smile on your face can only mean one thing.”

“What?”

Jongin grabbed an empty can off the floor and turned into a microphone, “Breaking news, ladies and gentleman, Mr. Byun Baekhyun got kissed!”

Baekhyun scowled and knocked the can from his dongsaeng’s hands. “That did not happen.”   

Chuckling, Jongin leaned back on his sofa and shrugged. “Figures. Now tell me how Mr. Park Chanyeol’s birthday extravaganza was.”

“You’re chipper all of a sudden” replied Baekhyun, ignoring his question and sitting down. “Last time I saw you, you were a moping mess.”

“I was. But then Sehun came over. We watched lion king and ate some snacks, talked for a little bit.”

“That’s better than watching which is what you would have done otherwise.”

The younger boy scowled. “Oh shut up. Now tell me what happened?!”

Baekhyun groaned. “Why are you assuming something happened?”

“Because of the smirk you have on your face.”

“Maybe it’s cause I’m happy to be home.”

“I know you better than you think I do.”

“Fine! It was an…interesting experience. I got to know Chanyeol more tonight.”

Jongin’s lips curled upwards into a cheeky grin. “Oh, exactly how well did you  get to know him?”

Baekhyun flailed his hands. “Kim Jongin, I swear.”

Jongin snickered, and elbowed Baekhyun in the ribs gently. “Hey maybe you should ask him to the Winter Ball.”

“Oh can you please just drop that?”

“No because we have a deal remember, if you don’t ask Chanyeol to the ball, I don’t ask Kyungsoo. Simple as that.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips. “Y’know what Jongin? I think I might do it.”

“Damn, is Baekhyunnie the scientist who swore he’d never fall in love, fallin’ hard?”

Baekhyun shook his head, but deep down he felt something he’d never felt before.