Seoul, September 2011

He had asked Jongin to meet him at the university coffeehouse at 1pm sharp. Jongin’s heart fluttered as he pulled a freshly pressed ocean-colored shirt over his head and thought of Do Kyungsoo. The boy he had met at freshman orientation, the boy that made his knees give way.

Once Jongin was at the coffeehouse, he ordered a couple of chocolate cupcakes and dug in right away.

Kyungsoo hadn’t specified what this little meeting was about, all he had said was: “I want to talk to you.” And Jongin couldn’t help but hope that maybe, just maybe he made Kyungsoo’s heart drop to his knees too.

“Annyeong haseyo,” said Kyungsoo, smiling and taking a seat in front of him.

Jongin grinned, and choked out a breathy, “Hello.”

“Hi ...so... uh. I need to talk to you.” said Kyungsoo, clasping his hands together like a businessman about to make a deal.

“Go ahead,” replied Jongin, trying to sound calm when deep inside his palpitations were shooting through the roof.

“So I know you and my brother are going to be roommates soon.”

“Yes.”

“And uhm I don’t know how to put this delicately...but there’re some things you need to know about Baekhyun before you live with him.”

Jongin sighed - it turned out he didn’t make Kyungsoo’s heart drop to his knees after all. “Okay, but I do know a lot about him. He's my mentor after-all.”

“I know, but he probably hasn’t shared certain things with you.”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that he’s a severe claustrophobic.”

“He is?”

“Yeah, and he absolutely has to take meds every evening or else he’ll have a greater chance of having a panic attack.”

“He told me those meds were for his allergy to dust.”

Kyungsoo snorted and shook his head, “Yeah that’s his go-to story. Please make sure he takes them though.”

Jongin nodded and grazed his eyes over Kyungsoo’s. Anything for you. “I will. I promise.”

The older boy grinned, “Thank you. Another thing, Baekhyun and my...father passed away recently. And hyung and our mother got into a little bit of a scuffle. He may look fine and dandy, but he’s pretty shaken on the inside.”

Jongin’s eyes glanced down. “I’m sorry about your dad. Baekhyun never told me.”

“My brother isn’t very good with matters of the heart. Neither is my mother.” Kyungsoo sighed.

“How about you?”

“I’m not too bad” chuckled Kyungsoo, his smile immediately tightening; he never allowed himself to smile for too long. “I’m sorry I called you out here like this but...I just wanted to make sure you knew. Baekhyun needs someone who understands him, who’ll take care of him.”

“You really love him don’t you?"

“He’s my brother.”

“You’re sweet.”

“What?”

“These cupcakes are sweet.” Jongin lied, mentally slapping himself.

“Yeah cupcakes do tend to be sweet …” Kyungsoo sounded amused.

Smiling, Jongin took another bite, “I  promise I’ll look after Baek.”

“Thank you Jongin, I really appreciate it.” Kyungsoo smiled, but his eyes were empty and in that moment Jongin wished Kyungsoo was the one he was looking after.

But as always, Jongin was too shy to ever admit his feelings, so he them up and made a vow to be the best roommate/friend he could be to Baekhyun. For Kyungsoo.

Anything for you.

 

* * * 

With Baekhyun off at his internship, Jongin had the entire apartment to himself. He belly flopped on the sofa and thought about his options. He could eat all the food in the kitchen, he could watch with the volume turned all the way up, or jump on the couch while reciting some of Kai’s poems in different accents.

He eventually resorted to lying on his stomach, poking the creaking floorboard with his index finger.

I got a boy meotjin, I got a boy chakhan.

“Ugh.”

Looked like Baekhyun had changed his ringtone again. Jongin’s phone was all the way in his room so after a few more groans and moans, he peeled himself off the sofa and sprinted to his room to retrieve it. The caller ID said Sehun, so based on past experiences it was probably Luhan.

“What is it? I was trying to take a nap.”

“Whoa there, no need to be so grumpy.” It was Luhan.

“What do you want, hyung?”

“We’re coming over to your place for a party soon.  Oh, and Kyungsoo and Suho are invited.”

There were several things wrong with what Luhan had just told him, the first was that a party was going down in his apartment and he hadn't been aware of it until now; and the second was the fact that Kyungsoo and Suho had been invited.

“What the-? Hyung, we partied yesterday. Don’t you think we should be good students and y’know, study for once?”

Luhan scoffed, “You never study and you seem to do just fine.”

“Okay correction, maybe you and by you, I mean you and Sehun, should be good students and study for once because you guys don’t do just fine.”

"Shut the hell up, do you want to come to this party or not?”

“You’re actually asking me? Are you - it’s happening at my freaking apartment, hyung!” Jongin spluttered.

“You do realize I’m doing this for you, right?”

“For me?”

Luhan sighed, “Yeah so you can finally get the balls to ask Kyungsoo to the Winter Ball.”

“Y’know, I really don’t think you’re in any position to help me with my love life.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re just as hopeless as I am.”

“Oh really? Well guess who’s taking Ms. Seohyun to the ball?”

“Seohyun?” Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed together. All he knew about Seohyun was that she was second year home economics major and always smelled like strawberry cupcakes. He had no idea Luhan liked her. Didn’t he like Sehun?

“You sound surprised.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Why? A guy like me can’t land a girl like her?”

“No, of course not. I just - does Sehun know?”

“No. Why does that matter?”

“He’s your roommate slash best friend. Shouldn’t he know, hyung?”

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re trying to imply-”

“I’m trying to imply that I, actually not just me, the entire student body, has been waiting for you and Sehun to finally-”

“Finally what?”

Jongin massaged his temples and pushed the tip of his tongue to the roof of his mouth, “Forget it.”

“No, say it.”

“We thought you guys like secretly loved each other.”

“What? No, Sehun’s like my l-little brother.”

“Then why haven’t you told him?”

“Why are you interrogating me? Just let it go. Sehun and I are just friends, and I really like Seohyun. We both like to bake, and she’s really sweet and pretty.”

Luhan’s words didn’t seem to ring true, but Jongin let it go. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Now, let’s focus on how we’re going to get you hooked up with Kyungsoo.”

“Y’know hyung, I really don’t appreciate this whole inviting yourself over thing.”

“Oh shut up, you sound just like Baekhyun right now. Just relax. Sehun and I have the booze and snacks covered. And we all know how much of a fabulous host I am.”

“We also know how much of a pain in the you are.”

“I heard that.”

“Good.”

Luhan grunted, “Whatever, just make sure to put on some chapstick and make yourself look y for your boyfriend. I have something planned.”

“Oh no,” Jongin’s mouth gaped, “Please don’t tell me it’s-”

“Yup. Truth or Dare.” he whispered, hanging up on the last syllable.

“.”

*

Luhan and Sehun arrived together with several plastic bags hanging off their forearms. Jongin would have offered to help but watching them suffer gave him copious amounts of sick pleasure.

“You know Jongin, you could possibly well, I don’t know…HELP?!”

“Nah.”

They dropped the bags on the kitchen counter and began unloading them. There were a gazillion packets of nachos but more importantly, there were about 15 bottles of beer and six bottles of whiskey.

“Isn’t this a little…much? How did you even pay for all this?” said Jongin, flopping on to one of the stools in the kitchen and gliding his fingers over cold, sweating green glass.

Sehun smirked, “We work at the coffeehouse for a reason. And besides, if we’re going to get Kyungsoo to kiss your ugly face then he needs to be hammered. Like seriously hammered.”

“Hold up, who said anything about kiss-”

Jongin’s sentence was muffled by the sound of the doorbell, followed swiftly by the sound of his heart raging in his chest.

Luhan’s eyes lit up as he hurried to the door, “Looks like they’re here!”

Groaning, Jongin sank further into his stool wishing he could just dissolve into the seat and not have to go through this night. Sehun must have seen the lines of worry etched across his face because he whispered, “Jongin, hwaiting!”

Jongin shot him a wry smile, but closed his eyes, wishing he could be anywhere but here...

“Kim Jongin! I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure of being in your humble abode” Suho announced, as he walked in and began eyeing the apartment. Kim Suho was a fourth year Journalism major and the head editor of the university’s newspaper, Sinmun. He was immensely popular and people fawned all over his puny little . He was a nice guy and all, but Jongin couldn’t help but hate the way his hand dragged Kyungsoo inside, like Kyungsoo was his property or something. He also had a horrid habit of always referring to Jongin as Kim Jongin; he never called anyone else by their full name so Jongin was positive that Suho just did it to annoy him. Swallowing his irritation, Jongin smiled at him, but the smile was strained, tight around the edges.

“Well now you have. Welcome.”

Suho’s face lit up, and his smile stretched out like the Cheshire cat’s, mocking. Jongin ignored it and shifted his eyes to Kyungsoo, who bowed his head. He had a black stain on his neck, similar to the one he was sporting yesterday and it matched the one on Suho’s pale jawline.

“Toss me a beer, Luhan!” Jongin ordered offhandedly, chugging the entire bottle down as he tried to drown the unpleasant implications of the twin paint stains he'd just seen.

 

*
 

Three bottles later, Jongin was riding on a slight buzz and everyone was lounging on the sofas. Suho, Luhan and Sehun were the ones who kept the conversation going, while Kyungsoo munched on chips and Jongin watched him, eyes locked on the inky black stain.

What the hell had they been doing together?

“So, it’s good to see all of you on the Winter Ball committee!” said Suho, patting Sehun’s back.

“Hell yeah, man. This year’s ball is going to be cray,” replied Sehun, mouth full of cheese dip.

Smirking, Suho ran a thumb over his lower lip, “You guys got dates?”

From the corner of his eye, Jongin saw Luhan gulp. Good. He'd asked for it.

“Well a couple of noonas asked me because I mean everyone wants a piece of this,” Sehun stood up and did a body wave, “But I know who I’m going with. Bros before hoes, right Xiao Lu?” He winked at Luhan, and prodded him in the stomach with his elbow.

The older boy winced but nodded his head. “Bros before hoes.”

Jongin shot him a look, but kept quiet about Seohyun, remembering what Baekhyun had told him about staying out of other people’s business.

“And what about you, Mr. Kim Jongin. Got a date?”

“Not exactly.”

“Why not?”

Jongin shrugged. “Do you have a date?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because the person I want to go with isn’t interested in me.”

“Then why does it matter if I don’t have a date?”

“Because Kim Jongin, I don’t have a date because I got rejected. You, on the other hand, don’t have a date because you’re a wuss and didn’t even bother to ask.”

The room went silent. Kyungsoo put a hand on Suho’s thigh to stop him from saying anything else, and it nearly pushed Jongin over the edge. Here everyone was, uninvited, uncalled for, lounging on his sofas and now he was being insulted. On top of that, the boy he loved was spending quality time with his arch nemesis doing god knows what with black paint. The air in his apartment suddenly felt cold, rigid.

“Well, I think now’s a pretty good time to bring out the cupcakes!” exclaimed Luhan. Jongin sighed at his hysterical attempt to break the tension as he watched the older boy flee to the kitchen.

“I’ll-um-go-help-Luhan,” cried Sehun, sprinting after his hyung, “Wait for me!”

*

It was only when Suho left the party early, to finish up some work at his office, that the muscles in Jongin’s shoulders finally began to relax. The mixture of cupcakes and beer had left a bittersweet aftertaste in his mouth which only made him even thirstier for the sweet warmth that lay hidden behind Kyungsoo’s strawberry lips.

“Soo, you haven’t had a single beer. C’mon man. You’re in college, live a little!” cried Luhan.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, “You know what that stuff does to your liver right?”

Luhan made a wailing sound, and continued, “Yeah, yeah but a couple of beers for one night won’t hurt, right. Come on, please?”

The younger boy shook his head, “Beer tastes like .”

“When did you even try it?”

Kyungsoo pointed to Jongin, “I took a sip of Jongin’s drink last night.”

Eyebrows raised, Luhan whistled and smacked Jongin’s back. “So you two had an indirect kiss, huh?”

Flurries of red appeared on Kyungsoo’s face. “What? No-”

“Stop embarrassing him.” Jongin bit out, flicking the older boy’s forehead.

“I’m not embarrassing him! I’m just stating a fact. Isn’t that right, Sehun?”

Sehun chugged down half a bottle. “Right.”

“How about we play some truth or dare?”

Jongin’s heart collapsed.

“Great idea, hyung. Kyungsoo, Jongin, you guys in?” asked Sehun, raising his bottle in the air.

Kyungsoo shrugged in agreement, but Jongin threw Sehun the dirtiest look he could muster.

‘Okay, let’s spin the bottle.” Luhan whispered dramatically.

The four of them sat in a small circle on the living room floor. Seoul’s night lights seeped into the room, painting the room pale gold. Jongin’s head had become extremely hazy now, and as he watched the bottle spin, he looked up at Kyungsoo chewing on his lip and found himself growing dizzier and dizzier with long pent-up desire. The bottle eventually slowed its gyrations and everyone watched intently as it finally stopped and pointed directly at Sehun, who moaned and tilted his head back.

“Truth or Dare, Sehunnie?” asked Luhan.

Sehun’s eyes went upwards in thought, “Truth.”

Luhan patted his back, “Good choice young grasshopper. Now tell me, was it true that your soccer coach walked in on you in the boys locker room?”

“That was in tenth grade! How do you even know about that?”

The older boy pointed to Jongin, and gulped down more beer, “Blame that kid.”

Sehun elbowed Jongin, but missed completely due to his severely impaired motor skills, for which the beer was to blame.

“You know if you were sober you would have gotten your revenge.” said Kyungsoo, his plush lips making Jongin’s heart spin like the bottle on the floor had done just minutes ago.

“And if you were drunk, you’d be having more fun by now.” Sehun retorted.

Jongin flicked Sehun’s arm. “Stop making him feel guilty for being sensible-”

“No, no Jongin, it’s okay. If they want me to drink so much, then fine, I'll have some.” Kyungsoo stood up purposefully, went over to the kitchen counter. He corked open a bottle of whiskey and chugged down most of the bottle.

Luhan’s smile stretched to the farthest corners of his face, “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Beer's too light for Do Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo rolled his moonlike eyes, but grinned just the same as he sat down next to Jongin who just gaped at him. The alcohol had gone to Jongin’s head, and his inhibitions were ripping at the seams - Kyungsoo’s lips were only a few cumbersome inches away…

“Do I have something on my face?” asked Kyungsoo, touching his cheek as if he sensed the weight of Jongin's intense gaze.

Jongin shook his head and averted his eyes, focusing on the spinning bottle instead, “Round two?”

Luhan smirked, and clapped his hands when the bottle chose Jongin. The latter knew exactly which option he was going to pick.

“Dare, please.”

Luhan’s eyes sparkled with mischievous glint.

“I dare you to kiss Kyungsoo.”

Jongin turned to face Kyungsoo, his eyes locking on the other man's. His pupils were dark, twin solar eclipses.

“Would you be okay if I-” Jongin didn’t know how to finish the question. His mind was in complete shambles, and everything around him was hazy except for Kyungsoo.

The older boy chewed on his lip, evidently nervous. He tilted the whiskey bottle upwards, and let the liquid flow down his throat while Jongin gulped because God help him, the sight was excruciatingly .

“Y-yeah … go ahead. It’s just a dare right?”

Jongin was pretty sure that Sehun and Luhan were probably in laughing fits but all he could focus on now was the fact that he was about to kiss Do Kyungsoo, and he had to make this perfect.

He leaned forward and leveled his eyes with Kyungsoo’s intense ones. Jongin had never been this close to Kyungsoo before and he made the most of the situation by absorbing every movement, every sensation. Kyungsoo’s breath came in short bursts and fluttered against Jongin’s jawline. His little chest heaved up and down, and Jongin wanted to capture this moment - Kyungsoo’s eyes widening, his 
heart racing. He lifted his hand and the skin of Kyungsoo’s cheek with his forefinger before closing his eyes and securing the warmth to memory.

“I think this the part where you kiss me,” whispered Kyungsoo. Jongin’s eyes opened in a flash and before he knew it, Kyungsoo’s lips were on his. They were exactly as soft as he'd thought they’d be and Jongin on the elder’s plump lower lip - something he'd only dreamt of doing. His eager hands danced over Kyungsoo’s waist, reeling him closer as the kiss escalated. Everything was spinning now. He could hear vague traces of laughter, but mostly his ears were filled with the obscene sounds of a wet, passion-filled kiss.

The moment he had yearned so long for had finally arrived. Given that they were both drunk and would forget it tomorrow, Jongin wanted to make the time he did have last forever. He probed his tongue into Kyungsoo’s hot mouth and swirled it around, tasting the sour taste of alcohol and the sweetness of cupcakes. His fingers ran urgently through Kyungsoo’s dark hair.

“Okay, whoa there!” was the last thing the pair heard before Luhan pushed them apart, “If you guys want to get it on, please allow us to leave first.”

Spots of rouge appeared over Kyungsoo’s face as his eyes flickered down.

“Grow up, Luhan.” said Jongin, a little bitter that his kissing time had been cut short.

“Now, now I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities to kiss Kyungsoo.”

Sehun snickered, and tugged on Luhan’s sleeve before nodding his head towards the door.

“Well chaps, it's been a pleasurable evening but Sehun and I shall be returning home now.”

“You guys sure you’ll make it back safely?” asked Jongin.

“Dude, we live upstairs, I think we’ll manage. Right, Sehunnie?”

“Right, hyung.”

Before leaving Luhan winked at Jongin and squeezed his shoulder, “Keep your cool, and stay on track,” was the last thing he whispered before he and Sehun left the apartment. They both leaned against and supported each other, both clearly knackered.

Jongin inhaled because it was just him and Kyungsoo now. Kyungsoo was still sitting on the ground, his lips slightly swollen and hair rakishly mussed. Jongin could see the places he had dragged his fingers through and sighed because he desperately wanted to feel those silky strands against his skin again.

“I should probably get going too...” said Kyungsoo, staring off at a spot on the carpet before pushing himself up and nearly falling. Jongin’s reflexes may have been dulled from the alcohol in his system but he was still able to catch Kyungsoo in time and carry him on to the sofa.

“I don’t think you’re going to be able to walk out of the apartment let alone drive home.”

Kyungsoo snickered, his eye lids droopy, words slurred, “I’ll just stay here then. Hopefully Baekhyun won’t mind…speaking of which, where is he?”

Jongin took a seat on the sofa where Kyungsoo was lying, casually placing his hand on Kyungsoo's knee. “At the internship with Park Chanyeol.”

“Oh yeah…I can’t believe he’s interning for him. I mean that’s all he ever talked about when we were growing up. Park Chanyeol did this; Park Chanyeol did that.”

Kyungsoo chuckled, and tilted his head back. When he did, Jongin got a better view of the black stain on his pale neck.

“Hey Kyungsoo, mind if I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why - I mean what have you been up to lately?”

“Up to?”

“Like have you been doing any photography…or art?”

“Not really. Just school and writing for Sinmun.”

“Then how did you get this?” asked Jongin, his index finger smudging the black stain.

“Oh that’s …” Kyungsoo went quiet and he reached into his pocket. Jongin swore he heard the crinkle of paper before Kyungsoo’s hand retreated.

“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

Jongin sighed, shrugging his shoulders, “Okay.”

“Mind if I ask you something?” asked Kyungsoo.

“Shoot.”

“How’s my brother doing? And I mean really?”

Jongin wiped the sweat on the back of his neck. “Good, I think. He seems to have found a pretty good friend in Park Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo grinned. “That’s good.”

“It is.”

“Thank you, Jongin.”

“For what?”

“For being so good to Baekhyun.”

“Hey, he’s my hyung too.”

“I know but, you just take care of him so well. Sometimes I wonder if...if I’d been a better brother -"

“What happened with Baekhyun and your mom was not your fault, Kyungsoo.”

“No I mean that day -- the day he got trapped in that black hole. If I’d been with him I could have stopped him. If I’d just been there-”

“That wasn’t your fault either. You can’t blame anyone for these kinds of things...They just, they just sort of happen but you have to move on from them …Sometimes I feel like you’re stuck in the past.”

“Aren’t we all?” laughed Kyungsoo, tilting his head back and drinking more whiskey, “I must be really drunk because this suddenly tastes amazing.”

Smiling wryly, Jongin took the bottle from Kyungsoo and had a couple of gulps himself.

“That was my first kiss, you know,” muttered Kyungsoo.

“Really?”

“You’re surprised.”

“You asking or telling me?’ said Jongin. 

“Asking.”

“Oh well, I don’t know. I thought someone like you would have already kissed someone by now.”

“Someone like me?”

Jongin grinned, head bobbing. “Yeah, someone like you.”

“I guess I just haven’t had the time or interest to date anyone.”

“You spent most of your life caught in a messy tangle between your brother, mother and father. I don’t blame you.”

A smile fluttered to Kyungsoo’s lips. “And what did you spend most of your life doing?”

“Getting by, I guess. Before I met Baekhyun, I didn’t really have much purpose.”  What he really wanted to say was before I met you. 

“So what’s your purpose now then?”

“Making sure he’s okay, I guess.”

Kyungsoo sighed. “I wish he and mom could just patch things up…I wish we could just be a normal, happy family.”

“No family is normal or happy, Kyungsoo.”

“We were, at least before Baekhyun fell into that hole and things got complicated with my dad.”

“Your mom and hyung will work it out eventually.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because underneath all of Baekhyun’s hard-headedness is a little heart with lots of potential to grow.”

Kyungsoo grinned, “Do you think he and I will ever be like you two are?”

“Nah,” Jongin chuckled, “you two will be even closer.”

“Thank you.”

“You say thank you too much.”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Kyungsoo.

“You also say sorry too much. Just chill ... Don't spend so much time worrying about everyone else.” Let someone else worry about you for a change. 

“I’ll try. I should go to sleep. I’m not looking forward to my first hangover tomorrow.”

Jongin chuckled. “Whiskey gives the worst ones.”

“So how much of tonight will I remember?”

“Not much. Although since this is your first time getting drunk, I’m guessing you won’t remember anything.”

“Wow, nothing?” asked Kyungsoo, head tilting to the right.

“Maybe” shrugged Jongin, “Hey at least you’ll forget my terrible kissing.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and muttered under his breath. “It wasn’t terrible.”

“What was it then?”

The older boy chewed on his lower lip. “Nice.”

“Nice?”

“Would you prefer the term ‘pleasant'?"

“No, nice is good.”

“Good … well, good night, Jongin.” A lazy smile settled on Kyungsoo’s face as he lay his head on the sofa cushion.

“Hey, you can sleep in my bed if you want. I’ll sleep on the couch instead.”

Kyungsoo shook his head and briefly rested his hand on Jongin’s. “I’m alright.”

And with that, sleep took a hold of him. Jongin watched him for a while. His little chest heaved up and down, and every breath made Jongin’s heart race a bit more. He knew he shouldn’t have, but Jongin pressed his lips against Kyungsoo’s forehead. There were so many things he wanted to say. He wanted to wrap him up in his arms and hold him until all the pain he harbored evaporated. He wanted to kiss his trepidation away, wash the worries out of his hair.

When his eyes fell on the black paint stain, his finger crawled towards Kyungsoo’s pocket, curious to know why he and Suho had been hanging out with each other so much. In his hands he felt something thin, and heard the crinkle of paper before Kyungsoo shifted and caused Jongin to hastily remove his hand from the elder’s pocket.

Jongin sighed in defeat and looked towards the door, wondering why Baekhyun wasn’t home yet. A smile slowly crept to his face as he thought about his hyung’s blossoming relationship with Chanyeol. Maybe the scientist would be able to teach Baekhyun the very thing Kyungsoo had been deprived of... 

As Jongin languidly made his way back to the bedroom, he heard Kyungsoo whisper, “Thank you,” and the breathy words seemed to lodge themselves between the crevices of his ribs. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

hello dear readers^^

hope you liked the update as always!

a big thank you to my gorgeous beta LotusK who (if you want to read quality kaisoo instead of my lame attempts) is writing an absolutely lovely kaisoo fic - In Bloom. Florist Jongin and accountant Kyungsoo, i mean it doesn't get any better than that? Check it out when you can!

anyway, thank you to all readers/commenters/upvoters :]

P.S I've had an increase in friend requests but I've realized that once I click accept--we never even talk. So please talk to me first before adding me or come annoy me on tumblr >.< kekeke