Himself

Change

Night soon fell, and as Joon and Il Sung worked meticulously on their homework, halmoni bustled in the kitchen, packing huge containers of kimchi, and dubbokki. Il Sung looked up, and tapped his pencil on his papers.

"Halmoni, would you like us to help you?" Il Sung rested his chin on his hands. Halmoni chuckled.

"Nonsense. You darlings need to finish homework. I have been fine for this long, and I'll be completely fine tonight. Although..." She turned around and smiled.

"You can come later and help me clean up." Halmoni winked, and walked towards the door with a trolley of her food.

"Of course we will, halmoni." Joon stood up, and bravely pecked her on her weathered skin. Her eyes twinkled in adoration. Il Sung waved cheerfully from his seat. When she left, Joon closed and locked the door. He settled back into his chair, and smiled at Il Sung.

"Halmoni is such a generous person." He looked around the house that saved them from sleeping on the streets, or paying for a hotel room. Il Sung nodded slowly, while working on his math problems. Joon gazed gently at Il Sung. *Even though you're in so much emotional pain, you seem happier here. I'm glad.* Il Sung caught Joon's soft eyes.

"hyung?" Il Sung ventured. Joon smiled, and shook his head.

"Nothing." Joon went back to his work. The night bore on, leaving Il Sung and Joon with nothing to do.

"Yah, why don't we visit halmoni?" Il Sung brightened. Joon laughed.

"You really like her, don't you?" He began to put on his jacket.

"I do. She's so nice..I almost feel like I can bear the pain with you and her by my side." Il Sung smiled softly.

 

"Halmoni!" Il Sung waved, when he saw her across the street. She didn't seem to hear him, and continued serving customers. He was about to open his mouth and call again when he saw Hyunwoo approach the cart. He stopped walking, frozen with disgust and fear. Hyunwoo dipped his head under the curtain, and ordered. 

"Do you..want to go?" Joon slowly asked. Il Sung shook his head.

"Then Halmoni will be all alone. We came to help her, so we should." Il Sung confirmed shakily. He took a deep breath and crossed the street. Halmoni looked up and beamed.

"Children! You've come to keep poor Halmoni company!" She chuckled merrily. Hyunwoo turned, and his eyes widened for a fraction of a second before flinting with malice.

"Children? Halmoni?" He whispered slowly. Il Sung could see him piecing the two words together. Hyunwoo's lips curled into a smirk.

"So this is who you ran to when your parents abandoned you?" Hyunwoo laughed harshly, turning his head back to the halmoni.

"Ahjumma hurry up with my order. I can't be around this disease." 

"disease?!?" Halmoni asked in bewilderment, unable to take in Hyunwoo's harsh words. He tipped his head.

"Yes. Disease. Did you not tell her about you, Il Sung?" Hyunwoo turned to face Il Sung again, who was still standing in the same spot, not knowing what to do.

"Shut your trap." Joon took a step forward, covering Il Sung.

"Ohhh, Il Sung needs his hyung to protect him from harm? How sweet. Come on Il Sung. Tell me what you think. Are you just going to take my words quietly? Without a fight?" Hyunwoo snickered.

"I'm warning you....Hyunwoo, leave this instant." Joon's fingers curled into angry fists.

"You have no masculinity, little baby Il Sung." Hyunwoo snorted, before facing halmoni, who was pale from shock.

"Are you still not done? Aish." Hyunwoo angrily flipped his bangs. Halmoni focused her eyes on Hyunwoo. 

"You are not welcome here, customer. Please leave." Halmoni ordered quietly.

"MUH?" Hyunwoo sputtered. Joon let out a soft chuckle, and Hyunwoo spun angrily on him.

"Fine. This food is garbage anyways. Full of trash." His eyes wandered and met with Il Sung's. He snorted, and left the cart. 

"Oh! That was ridiculous!" Halmoni huffed. She turned to Il Sung.

"Sweetie, is he the one bullying you at school?" Il Sung nodded stiffly. Joon slung an arm on Il Sung.

"How about we help Halmoni clean up, and we'll head home?" Joon ruffled Il Sung's head. Il Sung moved away from Joon's grasp and started to close the containers of kimchi.

"Thank you, darlings." Halmoni smiled, but looked worridly at Il Sung, whos face was slack, emotionless. 

Long after Joon and Halmoni had fallen asleep, Il Sung was still wide awake. His ankle had almost healed, the swelling barely visible. No matter how hard he tried to sleep, his mind would not allow it. Frustrated, he stood up, and grabbed his jacket before tip-toeing down the stairs, and out the house. He took a deep breath, and almost smiled. It was so peaceful during the early mornings. If he listened closely, he could almost hear the wind whistling through the trees. Il Sung lost himself in the wind. He didn't have to worry about his appearance. Or his trapped emotions. Everything was at peace with the wind. And maybe, just maybe, he could be himself.

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