"Excuse me, Heidi, Hero is here"

I peered up from my sloppily written lyrics to see Devoney. She was a student from abroad who came to see me everyday, and sometimes brought this man with her. Hero would help me write music, and would always play my favourite songs. Living alone for most of day was hard, but having them made it easier.

"Thanks Dev. I'll see you tonight with Mr. Jung" I smiled, getting up to hug Hero.

"Heidi; I brought you a book today" he placed the worn leather in my hands while pulling out of the embrace, "I think you'll like it"

The pages were yellowing at the edges, along with a crispy brown colour from what looked like a coffee spill. It was so nice of him to visit me at home, it got lonely with Chang at work all the time.

"Just pickup at the bookmark" he suggested, slipping on to the seat beside me

"... I, Mae Hye Su, made love with Kim Jaejoong. Why did it feel so right, and so wrong? It's no use denying that I've grown to love him, and want to spend time with him. Maybe something else crazy will happen, like I'll live to see us grow old together. Kim Hye Su; his family name even goes nicely with mine. Now I'm starting to sound like a teenage girl who writes her crushes name with hearts all over notebooks..."

I read the next few pages until the chapter end. This did sound like a good story, maybe I should read it thoroughly. Then I flipped to the back and became puzzled,

"Where is the last half? It's blank" I stated, showing the empty lines

He grimaced,

"Well, the writer's on hiatus"

I frowned, knitting my eyebrows together in a frustrated line,

"Too bad. I want to know what happens to Hye Su"

The rest of the afternoon we wrote lyrics together. Eventually we moved to the piano and brought our compositions to life. It was breathtaking how he played, the way his voice resounded perfectly on a note. I guess you could say I have a musical crush on him, or just a full out crush. Like a little girl I had fallen for him, everyday hoping he'd drop by. Sometimes he wouldn't come, but only Devoney instead. I'd never have the guts to tell him that little Heidi Mae liked Hero. Hero; what a fitting name.

"So how is your girlfriend" I asked, sipping on a cup of tea

"I haven't seen her in a week, but she was good then" he replied softly

That was the other reason I'd never be able to tell him. He's taken.

When he did come to see me, I couldn't help but stare at the couple ring he wore. It wasn't anything fancy, but it just proved that he could never be mine. I always asked about her to be polite, and he always talked their relationship down to be polte, but it was obvious how devoted to he was.

"What do you think? I want to perfect it before playing it her"

I sighed, wishing the song he had just played was meant for me. But no; it was for his beloved girlfriend.

"It was beautiful. I loved it, so I'm sure she will too."

Maybe he could tell I had feelings for him, that's why we winced at at my opinion. It was probably because he pitied me.

"Thanks. You and her are alike, so it's good to hear" said Hero

"Well she's very fortunate to have a song like that written for her" I smiled sadly

Sometimes I liked to pretend that Hero was coming here out of choice versus as a job. I knew that he just thought of me as a coworker, nothing more. We wrote music, he showed it to his company, and then got royalties. The predictable cycle that never broke. As usual his visit came to an end. I pushed in the bench, wishing that he could stay and keep me company. Unfortunately his job as a musician kept him busy, as he said at least.

"Here is your book back. Don't want to forget it" I said, placing it in his left hand.

"You keep it. I've read it a hundred times at least" he returned it to the table beside the doorway, "Let me know when you finish"

"So do you think you know what happens to Hye Su and Jaejoong? Even though the last chapters aren't written?" I asked, leafing through the pages as if the ending would magically write itself

He thought for a bit, his eyes wandering off to the right, but shook his head no,

"I don't know. It could go either way at this point"

"Well I hope they stay together. If I was her, I'd try my hardest to remember him" I said

"Goodbye Heidi" Hero slipped on his shoes and jacket, "See you again

I waved a farewell to the back of the door, since he had left so quickly.

Bet he was leaving for home where he lived with his girlfriend. I stayed here waiting for Chang.

Was it wrong for me to want his girlfriends place?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Jaejoong's Perspective

"She didn't remember" I paced back and forth in front of Dr. Jung and Devoney, "It's been a whole week"

"Well, she does remember you as Hero at least. She always looks forward to your visits" hopefully commented Devoney

I twisted Hye Su's and I couple ring around my finger absentmindedly, wondering what I should try next time to help her remember. Something new that could trigger the memory, because her song no longer worked flawlessly. My singing no longer worked flawlessly.

"Mr. Kim, we are trying our best for your girlfriend. We just moved the piano into her room three days ago at your request, so we need to wait and see" said Dr. Jung

I turned towards Devoney, shooting out questions

"Has she been using it more? What music does she usually play? Does she sing along?"

"Yes, classical and self composed, and always. As her nurse and music therapist, it's obvious that she still does have her original self. She writes probably two songs a day on her own" Devoney handed me an electronic tablet, flicking through numbers and chart, "Here is material from this morning. If you'd dropped by later there'd be more"

I examined the scans that automatically synced here, singing the words and melody in my mind

My darling hero
The feelings I have
They're all for you
The memories I hold
They're all of you
So come save me while I wander
Lost in my childish mind
Please be my hero
Save me from myself

Due to her deterioration, the company had to let her go. I tried my best to convince the CEO that she could stay, but after one rampage with Junsu, Yoochun, and myself in pursuit, there was no way. So this was the only way she could still write. I knew if she could only have one thing , it should be music, not even myself.

"She wrote this..." I handed the tablet back to Devoney, "Yet she doesn't recognize me?"

She nodded gravely,

"Today at least. She sees you as a totally new person, not Jaejoong, but as Hero who is someone she has just recently met. Last week though I couldn't help but notice, she lapsed into her original self. What did you do?"

"Sang to her. Like usual" I sighed, confused why it didn't work today.

"Nothing out of the normal? The same song, same everything?" added Dr. Jung, clicking the pen in his hand

I sighed, having replayed the day over and over in my mind

"Halfway through the chorus of Living Like A Dream she started to cry, asking if this was a dream, because I was there. It confused me at first, but I realized she had referred to me as Jaejoong and to herself as Hye Su for once. Before I could take my foot off the pedal she became hysterical, worrying about if she had hurt me by accident. I went into shock, and was crying myself"

"How did she express herself around you, what did she express?" asked Dr. Jung

My gaze dropped to the floor as did my spirits. It was hard to think about her like that, because it was happening less and less. Slowly I continued retelling,

"She rambled on to me about being scared, afraid of forever being this way. I comforted her the best I could. Then she suddenly stopped and told me to leave before she forgot everything again. Of course I didn't"

I swallowed hard, and took a deep breathe before finishing,

"Then Hye Su kissed me, and asked for me to stop wasting time. 'I love you Jaejoong, enough to let you go' is what she said."

"What about memories? Did she recollect anything?" asked Devoney

Even though this was a serious situation, I had to smirk thinking of what Hye had brought up first thing before the hysterics. I chuckled,

"She told me that she missed having together"

I continued to debrief on the previous week's experience, this being the first time speaking with them since then. All the memories of Hye came streaming through as I talked about her. Her laughs, the way she played the piano in the morning, how she would wrinkle her nose when we bickered...

I wanted her back more the I ever have these past months.

Yea; it hasn't even been half a year since she was admitted to the hospital. She's gotten that worse, this quickly.

"If you have the time, would you like to watch her session tonight?" requested Devoney

I replied instantly with a yes, wanting to learn as much as possible about her condition. Junsu and Yoochun might kill me for ditching schedule, but he'd cover if he knew ir was for Hye. Anything I could gain from observing might mean a meet extra ten minutes with Hye Su.

Anxiously I stood outside of the two way mirror in the hall, watching Devoney enter Hye's room.

"Hey Dev. Where's Mr. Jung?" asked Hye Su, stopping her playing

Devoney sat down at the small table, pulling out her notes

"He has another commitment tonight, so it's just us girls"

"Good; we can talk girl stuff then" Hye Su jumped off the bench, and flopped on to the bed a if this was a sleepover, "Wait; can we?"

As if the window wasn't there, I made eye contact with Devoney. She looked back to Hye immediately after though, clearing

"Sure Heidi. What is it?"

Every time I heard Heidi instead of Hye Su, it made me cringe. It was just another thing to punch me in the face, reminding me that she was sick. As if there were onlookers -besides myself- she checked left and right, then whispered to Devoney,

"Do you think Chang could be home early by chance?

"No. Not a chance" she replied without doubt

Hye sighed, repressing a smile

"Then I can talk to you about Hero"

This will be interesting.

I pressed myself against the glass, as if i could fall through and into the room.

"Do you have feelings for him?" strategically asked Devoney

"It's hard to explain, but yes" Hye clenched the sheets in her hands over and over, "Even though Chang is my fiancé, I have this feeling like Hero should be in that place instead. I don't know... Am I a bad partner for that? Is that feeling reasonable?"

Devoney jotted down some notes before flipping the board over. She tapped her finger on it while speaking,

"What's caused this change of heart?"

"Well... It's kind of embarrassing, and crazy... but I had a dream. It felt so real” she leaned against the wall on her bed, stretching her legs also, “We were sharing a bed, sleeping in each other’s arms. I knew it was him -Hero- they were his eyes. I distinctly remember him my hair back with his hand, rubbing his thumb along my cheek. I asked him if he liked me, but he stayed quiet... ”

Hye Su; you’re still alive. I knew you were strong enough. A week half smile grew on my face hearing her continue recounting the dream. I fogged the glass with my breath,

“I do like you Hye. I'll always keep the faith in you”

“How are you doing Mr. Kim?”

I turned to see Dr. Jung with the usual clipboard in hand. My colourless lips tried to form words but I gave up, and just swallowed hard with a nod.

“The constant hope that they’ll remember you. Trying to come up with a new trick that might work next time” he crossed his arms and wandered up beside me, “The disappointment when it doesn’t “

“You must have had a lot of patients like her” I muttered

“My wife died of Alzheimer’s Mr. Kim” he calmly stated

“What did you do” I continued to stare into Hye Su’s room, trying to keep my tone level, “When you lost her”

Dr. Jung put a supporting hand on my shoulder, patting it softly. He sighed,

“I let her go. If you have the memories, you can be together as long as you wish”

That moment is when I decided to remember her, everything about her.

Hye Su: I refuse to forget someone like you.