I felt like I could faint at any moment from how nervous I was. Not only had I been able to watch JYJ perform, but tonight I had the privilege of having dinner with one of the members. Don't ask me how the foundation pulled that one off. They usually dealt with trips to Disney World, not ones to Korea. 

Watching them sing had been so surreal. The energy was absolutely off the charts from the crowd and themselves. There wasn't a difference between the studio version and live performance, they were that on point. My respect just increased more for them as I waved my light stick proudly.

"Right this way. We have a table at the back set up"

I smiled at the waiter, following him through the maze of tables and chairs. I had requested this specific restaurant, Clazziquai, because it had a grand piano in the centre that was played throughout the evening. It was such a nice atmosphere, and the organizers approved. During my high school days, every summer i'd come home and work as a pianist here. It was just minimum wage, but it helped pay for Changsun's little brother Cheolyong. Together we had been able to hep him achieve his dream as a performer with the many lessons and classes. 

And still, this summer whatever I made some of it would go towards him, whether Cheolyong or Chang knew it was from me or not.

"Wow, very good outfit choice. The press will love you"

A stick thin woman came scuttling up towards me, phone and clipboard on hand. I looked down at my clothing, wondering what was so fabulous about it.  My assymetrical blue skirt seemed to long to me, and my blouse too loose. Blame the diet I was put on to help with chemical balance. 

"Of course so will Jaejoong. I'm the CEO of The Granted Foundation, Korea's branch" 

Before I could greet her formally, a man joined her 

"Annyeonghasayo. Kang Seuk imnida, Jaejoong's manager. He will be arriving in ten minutes, so I need to go over some points"

Attentively I listened to the do's and do not's of meeting an idol. They all were honestly common knowledge like don't maul them at first sight, but I guess if I was a super fan/ sasaengs it was necessary. The thing I was more paying attention to was the fact there was publicity on this dinner. I was expecting some privacy, but then again it was Jaejoong. What can you do. 

"I has brought a make up artist and stylist, but you look wonderful. That skirt is wonderful" complimented the woman

I smiled with my lips,

"Komapsumimnida. I hope this meeting goes well"

"Don't worry, I'm sure it will. Just be conscious of the cameras so you aren't blocking shots" she assured, directing two camera men 

The manager Kang Seuk whipped out his phone, and then puting it back as quickly 

"Oh, he's almost here. I'll go him in" 

That was my cue to sit down and wait. I twisted the bottom of the long table cloth, not sure what to expect anymore. With all this hype -screaming fans and flashing cameras- I was getting anxious. This whole thing was about getting good publicity, not about fulfilling someone's wish. I was beginning to regret my decision. Hope Jaejoong really was a good person, and not just really good at acting like it. 

The roar from outside passed the point of tolerance, meaning Jaejoong had arrived. I could only imagine what the scene looked like. 

I respectively stood up as I heard the distinctive click of shoes. Then I saw him round the corner. My breath suddenly got stuck in my trachea, seeing the way he walked so confidently towards me. The way his white blazer was rolled up around his arms made me gulp. 

Deeply I bowed to him and greeted him formally. He smiled,

"Hye Su. Beautiful name"

The photographers practically pounced on him, blinding the both of us with the flashes. We posed for what seemed like like hours. It was hard grasping the fact I was meeting such famous person, and that this was normal for him. 

"So where are you from?" he asked, waving off the remaining press

"America, but originally this is my home" I answered proudly 

"Well thank you for the support, especially being over seas. When I was told I was meeting one of our largest fans, I wasn't expecting someone like you at all" he honesty replied

What was that suppose to mean? Like, unattractive? Noona? Ajhumma? Mentally degenerative? The waiter gave me a moment to think, placing two plates of steaming food infront of us. I also took back a large drink of wine, hoping it'd knock some sense into me. 

"Someone like me?" I repeated, swirling the little liquid left 

Jaejoong was about to respond when I thought about what he had initially said, interrupting

"Wait: what were you told about me?" I asked, freezing with wineglass in hand 

He looked taken aback, like I'd asked why the sky is blue. 

"That you were chosen from millions for this meal. It was a promotion for our tour...."

I could feel my knee bouncing erratically from this lie. Whoever knew the truth of the matter, Jaejoong wasn't one of them, and I was highly embarrassed. What was I thinking, that some person would want just to be a good samaritan and be selfless. In his defense he wasn't aware of the situation. 

"You're mistaken" I muttered, intently looking at his hands instead 

He pursed his lips and cocked his head, 

"So you aren't a fan? Are you a new dancer? Or actor for Dr. Jin I need to meet?"

"No..." I slid my glass to the side, "I have this opportunity thanks to a foundation through the hospital I'm a patient at"

Jaejoong drummed his fingers lightly while collecting his thoughts on what I'd said.

"May I ask why you're at the hospital?"

Taking a chance by looking directly at him, I hesitated slightly 

"Alzhiemer's Disease" 

I didn't even notice that I had begun to tear up when he began to talk to me again. Having one of the most highly acclaimed celebrities in the country here didn't change how I dealt with my reality, even though I was trying hard to push it out of my mind for one night. 

"So then what exactly does this foundation do? Let you visit family?" he asked cautiously 

Loudly I swallowed, my lips also

"The Granted Foundation does just as it's named. It grants the one wish of a terminally ill patient"

Jaejoong slowly focused his gaze on me. I couldn't read what his eyes were saying; pity? Sympathy? Understanding? 

"I'm sorry Hye Su. I didn't know. I'll be sure you get a signature, album, photograph, and even a call from Junsu and Yooch-"

"I don't want those things" I winced, playing with my food

He raised a curious eyebrow,

"Nothing? Then why'd you want this if you can't have anything to keep?"

"I'm a professional musician, people commission me to write and transcribe, but mostly teach themselves or their children music. I just wanted to see JYJ perform since it's all very honest and self made" I replied 

"Thank you, you seem very honest and self made also" he complimented, finishing off his drink

"Plus I just wished to see a performace. I never expected they'd go to this lengths for the terminally ill" I added with a satiristic touch

"Don't be so negative. A young and healthy girl like y-"

"Could never die. That's what I thought until today, when this all worked out" I interupted, traling off at the end. 

We ate in uncomfortable silence, both of us equally unsure what to say. Small talk was exchanged, but nothing I would put down on paper to remember. I wasn't expecting anytihng deep and profound, after all, he was an international celebrity. This was just set up by his label as a public relationships thing to look like a good samaritan. 

"So then, what plans do you have for the future? Music and acting?" I safely questioned, knowing he would have an answer

"A lot of composing hopefully, and I've been casted for a role in the drama Dr. Jin" he replied

Then I remembered. I had been thinking about this all week, but I guess the anxiety made my brain totally go over it, not to mention the Alzheimer's. There was sometihng I wanted from Jaejoong, or more so ask of. 

"I'm sorry if this is rude, but could I play you something? I just remembered that I had been preparing it" I bashfully said, dabbing my face softly with the napkin 

"Sure, go right ahead" he gestured towards the open grand in the middle of the floor, "I'm sure you can play better than myself with all your schooling" 

I picked up my long skirt, hoping I didn't step on it and trip. The bench squeaked uncomfortabley as I sat down to play, my hands jittering above the keys. With my eyes closed, I let the piece soar. Music was the only thing that kept me sane through this ordeal, medically and emotionally. Playing for one of my inspirations seemed impossble, but not anymore. I glanced up from the keys his, seeing his eyes staring unblinkingly at me. 

Some of the people clapped respectively in the casual listening atmosphere as I finished up. Jaejoong was smiling and applauding too, 

"Wonderful! I never would've expected that" 

"Komapsumimnida" I humbly replied, feeling out of my league 

Luckily, the piano playing didn't kill the atmosphere. It actually stimulated it greatly, both us chatting enthuasiastically about pieces we'd written and ideas we had for future ones. 

"The alternating melody and broken chords between the left and right hand were genius. Good touch" 

I lowered my head and bowed slightly, extremely flattered 

"I'm glad you appreciate the more technical sides of music. I have yet to finish it, and since the time I have is to work instead, it might not. If only writing music paid full time instead of teaching it." 

"Well would you consider finishing it for JYJ?"

My eyes dropped out of my head and on to my empty plate. I didn't care to put them back in, considering my mind wasn't fuctioning well enough to do so. Did he just offer to use my song? That could mean I could make some serious money thanks to royalties, and pay for my growing medical expenses.

"Chincha?" I said, making sure he wasn't just being nice 

Jaejoong readjusted his blazer, taking out a business card

"This is my manager's. He'll give you a call soon" 

Accepting the card slowly, all I did was worry about if I'd even remember this dinner. Music helped retrain the brain with people like me, but only so much could be retained. 

"If you're too busy, don't worry if you forget about it" I excused, laughing lightly to myself. 

That's when I almost lost it. I had been able to contain my inner fangirl over my favourite musician up until now. It hit me all over again that I was with Kim Jaejoong, infamous member of DBSK and JYJ.  Not to mention possibly one of the most handsome men in Korea. 

"Impossible. I'll remember you"

Maybe he was just a player, knowing how to play on women's weakness'. Maybe he really just wanted to take my song and claim it as his own. Or maybe he actually was trying to help me, knowing music was all I cared about. 

But it's more likely he just pitied me. 

After all, who'd want a dying girl on their hands.