Jaejoong's Perspective

Yunho came jogging down the hall, almost right through my office door. He was panting so I had trouble distinguishing what he was saying,

"You've got to come down, she showed up. I didn't know if she would, but... Just come and see"

I stopped reading over the email concerning one of our artist's appearances on Inkigayo,

"Well, I'm excited to see what she can do"

It has been fifteen years, almost sixteen in fact. Within that time Yunho and Changmin had left SM and joined us at CJES, three more DBSK albums were released, and we’d done our mandatory military service. When our time ended as idols, we went behind the scenes to produce the next generation. The five us had an equal shares in our company so another lawsuit was not in question thankfully. We called it Cassiopeia Entertainment for our fans who stayed by our side through everything.

"Where did you scout her?" I asked, watching the numbers glow. In the descent from floor 23.

"At one of the recording studios when I was with Junsu. She had rented the piano in the room next to the ballet studio" Yunho checked his phone before putting it right back in his pocket, "She has so much talent already. The potential that girl has is unbelievable, already can sing, play piano, compose and dance"

I raised an eyebrow, being a little skeptical,

"Dancing? You said she was playing piano"

"I did say we were right next to the ballet studio though. I convinced her to freestyle" he smiled, very pleased with himself

We stepped out of the elevator, walking past the tall posters off all the current artists. I always got nervous when meeting potential trainees -maybe even more than themselves- because it was a huge risk, especially if they give up. All the time and effort it took to teach the next big thing was a huge investment.

"So then why do you want me to see her. You usually get Changmin, or Junsu " I wondered aloud

"She reminds me a lot of you" he smiled at first, but then sighed, "And I think that she comes from a less supportive family, possibly adopted. If you were her mentor, i think she'd open up more. I think she’d learn more from you, and have a better trainee experience overall"

After the harsh pasts we’ve all shared, we wanted our artists to not experience anything like that. Trainee weren’t even trainees to us, but younger sisters, brothers, and even children. They were family. A huge part of the selection process was not always talent, but motivation, passion, and attitude.

"I hope this works out them. If she really is as talented as you say, I'd love to be a father like figure for her" I said, just turning the doorknob to one of the rooms for auditions and practices.  

"I'm glad you decided to come" Yunho strutted up to the young girl, her back facing me,  "Let me  introduce you to Kim Jaejoong"

The shy teenager turned around slowly to face me, rigidly bowing with a quiet greeting and smile. I got stuck half way through the following handshake when I saw the face behind her bangs.

Her eyes, lips, smile; they looked just like Hye Su's.

"My name is June. Thank you for showing interest in me" she smiled

I shook the image of Hye from my mind, trying to gain focus again. The hair had a darker brown similar to my own compared to Hye's reddish tinge.  The cheeks and skin were slightly different too, but aside from that this girl was a duplicate. Of course, much younger version of her, but the resemblance was undeniable. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought of my girlfriend.

"Yes, I've heard good things" I blinked  few times to break my intense stare then continued, "I'm anticipating what you've prepared today"

Yunho and I took a seat at a table, taking the clipboards one of the assistants had prepared.

"Whenever you're ready" Yunho called, putting on some random music as she stood in the centre.

I honestly didn't pay much attention to the dancing, Yunho had his eyes glued to her anyways. My mind kept on distracting me, with crazy ideas about why she looked liked Hye Su so much. It had to be all coincidence.

After all, my girlfriend died fifteen years ago.

"I want her under our label. I've seen countless dance in auditions just this month, but she stands out. Even better than the first impromptu audition, her technique is wonderful" whispered Yunho, not even bothering to write anything down.

"Then let's sign her" I replied

"We will, after this. I think you'll like it" Yunho faded out the song, smiling with encouragement at June, "Thanks. Catch your breath, then you may sing"

The word "Classic" seemed to glow off my couple ring as I watched the girl glide to the center again. I always wore it, with Hye Su's around my neck. Years went by quickly as I spent each without a wife. Yoochun and Junsu were both engaged, while Yunho and Changmin were in and out of steady relationships. Hye Su had one day said she loved classic movies, the ones with the romance everyone wants. Thats why our rings have that word, because I truly believe our relationship was classic. That it was wonderful, timeless.

"I'll be singing for you an original. Please enjoy" she announced softly pushing back her hair behind the ears

My jaw hung open when her month did. The voice she had; it was breathtaking. It had a spin to it that propelled the sweet tone and gave it resonance. It was rich and even, the song seemingly effortless to her. Suddenly Yunho put up his hand for her to stop,

"What happened to the composition from the studio"

June clicked her heels together, thrown off by being stopped

"I don't think that one is my best"

"Please, do try that instead" nudged Yunho, flitting his chin towards a piano in the corner.

"I-I... The song is..." she mumbled, probably extremely intimidated by this point

The way she gripped her wrist with the other hand, and had her head in a permanent 45 degree angle; it reminded me of myself. What it was like to not have much, being reminded how you can do better when you’re doing your best. I felt sympathy for the girl.

"Would it help if you sang for just one of us instead?" I suggested

Shyly she readjusted her blouse while nodding quickly, making eye contact with me. It's understandable that she'd be nervous with both of us watching. I don’t know what the initial meeting had been like with Yunho, but maybe it had put him in the big and scary category from the get go. I didn't have to say a word for him to understand that I'd handle the situation. He left with a wave and smile, wishing her luck. He'd be watching from the two way mirror anyway.

"Does this song have a name, is it an original also?" I asked as she slid in to the piano bench

"I was just the lyricist", June danced her hands above the keys, "As for a title, I'm unsure"

Carefully she pressed down her first note on the piano. A memory of Hye Su and I writing music floated by, staying in my mind as June performed. The soft lilt of the opening chords was beautiful, the build being subtle yet effective. Her voice chimed in just as nicely as befo-

I knew this song. It was the one Hye Su had played me when we first met. The one at the restaurant, the one we never finished.

I sat in shock the rest of the audition, being now overwhelmed by the song along with her resemblance. Was this some reincarnation, or something equally as unrealistic? I didn't believe in that sort of thing, but I was starting to debate what other possibility there really was.  

"Will your parents be picking you up after, because I'd like to speak with them" I asked as she pushed in bench.

"Y-you want to talk with my parents?" she stuttered through pursed lips

I nodded,

"I think that you'd fit into our label and family well, now it's a matter of your contract and if you're sure about joining"

"Of course. I want to make my father proud" she quickly answered with a stronger tone.

"Then may I speak with him and your mother?" I straightened the blank pages where I should've been recording feedback, "Face to face"

Her head hung forward as she fiddled with the edge of her sweater. For a moment I thought she hadn't heard me, but then she responded

"I don't have mother"

"A father though?" I added, not wanting to stay on the topic myself

"Yes, he could come and talk" said June after clearing with an "ahem".

Hye Su and June; the similarity of their looks and even mannerisms was eerie. It was so mind twisting, that it had to be all a coincidence.

"I will contact you with some times that could work, and it will go on from there" I opened the door for her, closing it shut after, "Thank you for auditioning

"No, thank you for the opportunity. I am lucky to even have been able to meet Yunho sunbae at the studio" she smiled shyly, hiding with her hand.

I smiled back, feeling suddenly half my age. She was Mae Hye Su, and I wanted to give her a better life. Watching her prance off into the lobby I thought to myself,

"Wherever you are Hye Su, I’m remembering. I love you"

My perked up spirits suddenly fizzled out when I looked to the man entering the building. He was quite toned, having a good height and build. His hair was a dark red with hints of brown, with bangs that covered tired eyes. This was my third slap in the face today.

It was Lee Changsun, and he was June's father.

I backed up slowly, retreating into the first room with a door I could lock. As soon as it clicked shut, I collapsed on the ground in silence.

What really happened 15 years ago?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Changsun's Perspective

"Hye Sun. How did it go" I held the door open before kissing her cheek, "What did the other judges say"

"Appa, don't do that" she frowned

I stopped embarrassing her like any other typical parent to their teenage daughter. She was growing up so fast. She also didn’t like it when I use her Korean name, so she pouted extra.

"Are you going to be the next Lee Hyori, or SNSD?" I mused

She shrugged, clicking in her seat belt

"Meollayo. They seemed to like me though. Oh; they want to talk with you about a contract"

"Chincha? Omo! I am so proud of you! Wait until we tell umma" I beamed, patting her knee

In response she just mumbled. Even though they were mother and daughter, their relationship wasn't very good. Hye Sun didn't want anything to do with Hye Su.

"I'll drop you off at home because I have a class to teach this afternoon"

"Will you be home tonight appa?" she asked eagerly

I shook my head no to her disappointment,

"I'm sorry, I won't be home until around 9"

At Seoul's International University for Arts I taught modern dance. It was difficult being away from my wife who needed care, but we needed to raise our daughter well so I led by example.

It's mindboggling thinking about how it happened all those years ago.

-
15 Years Earlier

Her voice, it was so weak, so hopeless. I'd never heard it like that before. Hye Su called me in the early morning, saying I needed to see her right then. She asked me not to question why, she'd explain when I showed.

"I remembered" she sat at the small table across from me, speaking even more softly,"I-I need to talk with you"

I gave her an encouraging nod, unsure what to expect. We hadn't spoken in at least a year after the run in at Clazziquai. Shakily she asked,  

"Marry me Lee Changsun"

Was I developing some mental disability? Was this really happening?

"W-wae?" I stuttered

There was no reason to be crying, it still didn't understand a thing. With her sleeve she dabbed her eyes,

"I can't be Jaejoong's burden anymore. Please help me"

"How would our marriage solve any problems?" I asked

"So I can erase myself from his life, and take care of you and Cheolyong. I live in a memory where we are married, so why should I continue to torture him" she reasoned

This wasn't adding up. Why was she running away from the man who did nothing but take care of her, to me, someone who left her? The timing seemed random enough that it must mean something significant happened.

Suddenly, it came to me. Hye Su really was desperate if she felt this was the only way.

"You want me to help you fake death?"

"If you're my husband, then I can take on a new identity easily. Also I can only be discharged from the hospital under the condition that I have a spouse or fiancé to do it" She shook her head causing tears to flu out, "Jaejoong won't know. He can't know. "

"You're crazy. You can’t do that to him" I retorted

"I need to though; it the best way to save us" she snapped, bolting up from the chair to pace around

I stood up also, just in case she tried to pull something,

"Us? You and me? You and Jaejoong? Who!"

Her hands were in fists as he beat them against her thighs. I loved Hye Su,  but why did she suddenly want me now? This was the second chance I'd been waiting for, to be together. Something was very wrong though, her pale sallow face was gleaming with sweat.

I put a comforting hand on her shoulder, softly asking again

"What do you mean by us?"

At first I thought she had burst into tears with the way her face contorted. Instead she suddenly threw up on me, coughing for her breath. Hye Su croaked,

"Please: it's for us"

Then it came together, looking at her for once not stick straight figure.

She was pregnant.

My protective and caring instinct took over as I helped her to the washroom.  She continued to be sick face down in the toilet while I cleaned myself up. The shirt was covered in vomit, so I left it to soak in the sink.

"Jaejoong can't know" she muttered, leaning against the tile wall with closed eyes

"Oteoke..." I wiped her face with a cold damp towel, "What else is there to do though Shiemi”

"She'll be taken away when she's born because I can't care for her properly. She may not ever get adopted, just foster homes. She needs a family" said Hye with multiple voice cracks.

This was my dream, wasn't it? To get married, have a daughter or two, and live in the apartment above our favourite cafe. Now though, it'd be baby that wasn't mine and a wife that truly loved someone else.

"Isn't this very illegal, as in, we could both be arrested or fined" I pointed out

"If there wasn’t any risk, that’d mean it’s not worth fighting for", She swallowed hard with a huff, "Devoney knows about the baby, I read my own charts and spoke with her before you came. I’m sure Jung does know then. Jaejoong just doesn’t need to know. He’s in Japan right now, and won’t be back for another month or so "

I whispered quietly in the echoey space,

“How long have you been pregnant”

“Two months. Before Jaejoong left” she rasped, still struggling to breath steadily

I pushed myself across the floor on knees, sliding to her side against the wall. It was hard to stay strong for her right now when she’d hit me with this idea. Overwhelmed didn’t even begin to describe the way I felt. No matter how much I tried to come up with a rational reason not to walk away and not be involved, I wanted to be. Right now she was the women that I fell for, the one I still was begging for.

I leaned her head on my shoulder, trying to comfort her as tears spilled out of her eyes in silence. Carefully I rolled up her shirt to reveal a slightly larger than usual stomach, rubbing my hand on it gently.

“What should we name you” I kissed Hye Su on the forehead before focusing back on her bump, “Something traditional, or more modern”

“So you’ll marry me blockhead” she breathed, putting her hand atop mine

A sad smile crossed my face. This dream was sure twisted now. Why did I feel like she didn’t belong to me, or ever would? Maybe it was because I realized how much this sacrifice really was for her relationship with Jaejoong. One day, I’d let him know that he had a beautiful child, with the beautiful women he loves. I’d want to do that for me.

I gripped her hands in mine, unwilling to let them go again,

“Shiemi, I promise to”