Changsun's Perspective

About four months ago I got a frantic call from Hye Su's mother. I was in the middle of rehersal when I heard her sobbing and hiccuping over the phone, saying how I needed to come back to Korea earlier than usual. At first she said that it was an emergency -I said I'd be there in a week-  then she added it was because of Hye Su. 

I left the studio before I could put proper shoes on. 

It was undeniable that I still loved her. 

Turns out that her mother wanted me to talk Hye Su out of an operation, claiming that I was the only one who could. I agreed that I'd attempt to speak with her, but was really just lying. I knew I wouldn't be able to face her. I was a coward. 

Today I sat at the hospital with a man named Dr. Jung. Apparently I was the only other person who a connection could be drawn to aside form her parents. Since they had disowned her though, I was the one who had to hear whatever was to be said from now on. Well; technically I didn't have to but I felt I should. I couldn't take care of her properly back in America so I was determined that I would do so now. 

"So; Mae Hye Su" Dr. Jung twirled a pen around in his hand, "There are some complications with the operation from 4 months ago" 

I gulped, 

"S-she'll live though. Right?"

He nodded, "Yes; but at the same time she will not" while pulling out some diagrams and files from a folder

I was the principal dancer for the ballet; not someone with a medical degree. As hard as I tried, all the arrows and long words made no sense to me. He explained to me multiple times the most likely outcome, but it was getting us nowhere. Honestly; I was just in denial I was hearing what was being said. 

"The operation was successful, but in consequence the frontal lobe is deteriorating at a quicker rate. This means that eventually she possibly may lose her ability to create and retain memories, and recognize faces, along with some linguistic abilities like speaking two languages."

"So she'll be brain dead. She won't know who I am?" I muttered

"Unfortunately yes; that is what I mean. She may not even know who she is herself." he somberly clarified

Slowly and deeply I bowed to him, expressing my thanks before leaving. I needed some fresh air or I'd throw up. 

"Would you like to speak with her? It may help" He put a steady hand on my shoulder, seeing how uncomfortable I was "She'll be arriving for the usual appointment momentarily" 

I snapped back, 

"N-no. No. It's ok" 

I walked out of the hospital as fast as I could, not wanting to possibly see her. If I did, I knew that I'd just start crying and begging for her to take me back. I also know that she wouldn't. Why did I let her walk out on our life together so easily? Why did I lie and say that I could function without her all that time ago?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

"Chunnie, you want to do some writing today? I have a song I want to show you. I think it'd be great in Rooftop Prince"

Yoochun took his head out of the script, and stopped outside of the studio

"Sure, if you aren't bust with Jaejoong's stuff for Dr. Jin. He told me it was going really well"

I smiled, "He is usually late anyways and I just have the chorus so it won't be long" waving him over to the piano bench

With a high level of focus I played what I had composed so far. It had started out for JYJ, but then it started to suit a soloist more. Immediately I preferred it as a piece for an OST, whether it was for Junsu, Jaejoong, or Yoochun. I knew they all were submerged in the drama world so it wasn't a stretch. Yoochun just had the best match to the song's meaning. 

"Sometimes I worry about you. How can you write such heartbreaking lyrics" mused Yoochun, reading over my messy handwriting 

"Past experiences, bottled up feelings, imagination" I explained

He looked up at me through his the large black framed glasses, 

" 'The only words that remain are goodbye. So I cannot forget you' is from experience?"

Of course it was, but I'd never reveal how much being with Chang truly hurt me. I acted as adult like as possible, unemotional and ignorant to how I really felt. I winced, 

"Yes. Before I came to here to Korea I was enga-"

My words got stuck in my throat along with the thought in my brain. I didn't know how to finish the sentence, because I couldn't remember what I was talking about. What had I done before coming to Korea? And why was I telling this stranger?

Then my body itself was next to seize up at this realization; I was here alone with a stranger. A man that I didn't know, that easliy could take advantage of me. 

"W-who...." I stuttered, clearing off the bench beside him in seconds

He stood up and put a hand on my shoulder,

"Noona? Hye S-"

"Don't call me noona! I don't know you!" I screamed, forcing his hand off me. 

I was at work, so someone else had to be here writing music. I don't know who, but any one would do to get rid of this pscho who followed me.

"Chang, Chang!" my feet instinctively moved down the hall to where he would be dancing, "I need you right now! Ple-"

My fiance wasn't there. It was just an empty room with a few boxes piled in a corner and chairs. My heart rate sped up once more. Where was I? Why wasn't Chang here? He was the only person that I knew. 

Suddenly a person came running down the hall, not going past me but grabbing my hand and dragging me back to where I had come from. I hit and dug in my heels, but it didn't work against the man. It wasn't the same person who had been playing with me, so I had no guesses. 

"Yoochun! Get out here!" the man yelled

The original man -who's name was apparently Yoochun- jogged out of studio 5A. He trailed behind my flailing body all the way down a few more halls. I was forced into an apartment by who had a hold of me, stumbling face first into a couch covered in clothing and empty food containers. Was I being kidnapped? Held hostage? Why did I know no one here? 

As soon as I felt the numb feeling leave my hands from the tight grip once around them, I scampered over to the door and looked out through the peep hole. The two gentlemen were arguing, using a lot of hand movements and English. The Yoochun character had very good pronunciation, I'll give him that. Luckily I could hear them also, 

"Want to tell me what that was Jaejoong?" exclaimed Yoochun, running his hands through his hair

The Jaejoong guy sighed, 

"Hye Su usually doesn't go for that long. That's the longests it's ever been actu-"

"What? What was that though!" he bellowed, motioning to the door which I was behind

"Ok; I went to her doctor to find out if she could work here permanently. I found out that she may have blackouts, and totally lapse to a past version of herself where she doesn't know us or anything about coming here" he explained

Yoochun nodded, biting his lower lip,

"And what do you usually do to handle it"

"I usually get Junsu. He wraps her in a blanket so she cant punch and then just waits. It only take her ten minutes to regain her mind again that way" he said

"So we're suppose to get Junsu? He's out at the recording studio right now" muttered Yoochun, beginning to pace 

Then Jaejoong reached for the door handle, about to turn it. I jumped backwards and took a defensive stance, ready for whatever these two mental people would try to pull on me. 

"Just going to- God. It's worse then last time" 

Jaejoong rubbed his temples and waved Yoochun out, saying he could handle it himself. Handle what I'm not sure, but either way I was freaked. Slowly he approached me, extending a beckoning hand for me to take, 

"Hye Su; my name is Kim Jaejoong. And-"

"How do know me" I barked, grabbing a kitchen knife off the counter as I passed by

He raised his hands immediately in defense and surrender, backing away while talking to me as if I was some delusional child 

"I don't want to hurt you"

I was about to scream at him, but I couldn't because he twisted my wrist and forced me to drop the knife. I winced at the discomfort, still trying to fight back at my attacker. My knee was about one inch away from his groin when everything went to crap; he kissed me. 

Taken off guard, my arms dropped to my sides and my mind shut down. Instinctively my lips worked with his, along with my hands that wrapped around his neck. I don't know why my body was doing this; this wasn't my fiance, this wasn't the person I loved. Why was I doing it so willingly! I meekly attempted to stop the contact, mumbling into his mouth

"Who are y-"

My name is Mae Hye Su. I am a 25 year old women living in Korea. I work for an entertainment company writing music for the members of the group JYJ. This man is apart of JYJ, Kim Jaejoong.

My mouth froze as his continued to move on mine. I pushed him off, knowing it was wrong to be kssing him. We were suppose to be in a professional relationship, not like this. 

I looked at his empty expression as he observed me panting against the wall. Tears automatically became streaming out of my eyes, realizing it had happened again. Dr. Jung had said that I should be able to live a full life, so why was I getting steadily worse? 

"It's ok; you're ok. It's over" he whispered, coming up and holding me. 

Usually I would just shake my head and reject his comforting, but I looked to the floor to see a knife cast aside. Had I done that? It was obviious I had, going by the thin red line on Jaejoong's arm. I left my head on his chest, rather having him feel me cry then see me. I hated looking weak, especially to someone I admired.

 "Jaejoong; I should quit. I need to quit" I mumbled

He just pressed me closer to himself, down my hair

"No; I'm not letting you walk out that easily. We can take care of you just fine, we can handle this. I'll take responsibility for you"

I gentley took his arms off, making sure I didn't touch the cut. I batted back the remaining tears, with a quivering voice

"Then lets go work on 'Livinng Like a Dream' "