At the studio, I was greeted by Junhyung and he lead me inside. "Hope you're ready to sing." he said and guided me into the booth. 

   "Where's Cho PD-nim?" I asked, starting to put my guitar strap over my head.

   "He'll be in soon. Oh, and before you put that on, I have something for you." Junhyung walked back and pulled something from behind the couch that sat just behind the mixing table. I raised an eyebrow and tried to look at it. He turned lugging the black case over inside the booth to me.

   "What is it?" I asked. He motioned for me to open it, so I obliged. I clicked open the case and flipped the top over. My eyes widened at the sight of the new guitar lying inside. The body was a beautiful candy apple red, the pickguard a bright, clean white. It was a Fender and in great shape, it must've cost way more than my hundred and fifty dollar guitar. "Oh my god, I can't accept this."

   Junhyung picked it up and shoved it into my arms. "Take it, play it, get used to it. It's yours and you're going to be playing it for the album. Cho PD chose it for you. He said the guitar you have now doesn't sound as good as it should be. Plus, when you play live shows people are going to be wondering why you're playing such a beat up old guitar."

   I felt a little offended. I've had my guitar since I learned how to play when I was twelve. I scowled. "Hey, she's a beautiful guitar! She has character and wisdom in her years." I just felt like I had to defend my old guitar. But holding this new one...it felt nice. But then again I felt like I was cheating. I strummed the strings once. The melodic sound sent a shiver down my spine. I gasped slightly. Ok, maybe I can give this new one a try... I thought guiltily to myself, biting my lip and turning away from my old guitar. I'll still play you, but only for practice. Just you and me, baby. The rookie will only be for live performances.

 I smiled down at the guitar and picked a scale. When I looked up, Junhyung was smiling. "What?"

  “You ready?” he asked.

  My heart thumped, and I smiled back, giving him a thumb up. “As I'll ever be.”

  I was falling down,

  Suddenly nothing made sense.

  I’m floating now,

  I’m trying to get back up again.

  Living for me and only me.

  I'll reach my dreams, and then maybe you'll be proud of me.

  The words came straight from my heart, and it took every part of me to keep from crying. In the end, I suddenly choked on a sob, but I quickly covered it with a deep sigh. I looked up at Junhyung, who stopped recording and set the earphones to the side. His facial expression was undetectable. My eyelids fluttered, trying to blink away the tears. “H-How was that?”

  It took him awhile to answer, but he finally pressed the button to communicate with me. “Good, it was good.” He said, nodding and folding his arms in front of his chest.

  I raised an eyebrow, it didn't seem like he liked it. “Are you sure? We can do it again; I won't get all choked up this time.”

  He shook his head. “No, I like the emotion, we're keeping it. It’s raw, real. Something not a lot of artists have. We'll keep it.”

  My eyes widened. “But that was only the first take. Artists never keep the first take. It’s ok, we can do it again.” I started to get ready to sing again, but Junhyung stopped me.

  “No, I said we're keeping it. I don't want to lose that emotion. Now let’s move on.”

  I sighed and shrugged, doing as I was told.

   Six hours later, I was done recording for the day. I had four tracks down, and I was very satisfied with myself. I came out of the booth with a smile on my face. "What do you think? Was today very productive?"

   Junhyung nodded, fiddling with the sound board. "We got most of it done, surprisingly. You'll come back tomorrow and finish the next three songs."

   I did a little happy dance, twirling around in a circle. "So...can we go eat now? I'm starving!" I clutched my stomach, feeling it rumble more and more. "I need to get some ramen in me..."

   "Before we do that, Cho PD-nim called us in for a meeting. It's about your debut."

   I stopped what I was doing, my grin slowly fading. "Ah, of course. I kinda need to figure that out, huh?" I looked down, putting my hands in my back pockets. "Ok, well let's get this done." We walked out and continued our way to the meeting room.

   I don't know why I was so scared. Maybe it was because I would have to make this decision all on my own. I couldn't even get a second opinion from my mom. Umma, I thought, please watch over me as I give my answer. I swallowed hard as Junghyun opened the heavy wooden door and allowed me to step in first.

   Cho PD-nim sat at the long mahogany table, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses and his arms folded on the tabletop. I bowed immediately and gave a polite "Annyeonghaseyo". 

   Cho PD-nim grinned and gave a chuckle while standing up. "Samantha, I never knew you could be so polite."

   I chuckled a little too out of nervousness. "I thought maybe I should practice that, you know, for my image."

   He raised his eyebrows. "Your image?"

   I smiled. "Yeah, um," I took a seat next to him and he went back to sitting in his. "You see, I've decided to...make my identity known."

   Cho-PD -nim clapped his hands together with joy. "Good to hear! Shall I get a contract started for you?"

   "Ah," This was where it would get awkward. "W-Well, you see, I don't think I want to be signed under Stardom..."

   He raised an eyebrow again. "Oh?"

   I nodded hesitantly. "It's nothing against you, Cho PD-nim! I just thought, since I'm not Korean, nor are any of my songs in Korean, I would be in the wrong fan base. I want my fans to be able to listen to my songs and really understand them and enjoy the lyrics, not just the catchy beat and cool music video. That's why I want to be represented by a record label in the U.S." I bit my lip and waited for his response.

   "Ah, I see..." was all he really said. I started to feel a little guilty. He has given me so much, and now I was rejecting his proposal to represent me. It was like he was throwing a bone I fetched but didn't bring back to him.

   "Look, I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me create this demo, it's almost magical. It's something I couldn't have done on my own. What I've experienced these past few months I will take with me throughout my life.Right now I have to think about what will be best for my career, and I think the best thing would be for me to go back home." I wringed my hands in anticipation. I could hear Junghyun sigh behind me. He was disappointed.

   "Well, I can't say I blame you," Cho-PD-nim finally said. "Branching out in a different country that you don't originate from is very hard. Just look at K-pop. Companies are just now starting to get their groups world tours and becoming popular in America and Europe." He suddenly began to smile. "I'll help you get your name out and finish your demo. I'll get you gigs and call talent scouts from America. You already have a pretty good following, so most likely they'll already know you. Don't worry, Sam. You'll make it."

   My heart fluttered and my stomach felt like butterflies were flapping everywhere. "But, why are you doing this?"

   Cho PD-nim looked down  for a moment, then looked up at the ceiling. "I made a promise to a wonderful woman that I would watch over and help out her daughter."

   I felt the tears start to gather at the corners of my eyes suddenly. I was so very grateful that I could never express my complete gratitude in mere words. "Cho PD-nim...thank you so much." 

   He held out his hand for me to take. I grasped it and he squeezed mine. "No, thank you."

   I gave him a confused look. "For what?"

   "For letting me manage such a raw talent."

   The tears trickled down my cheeks before I could try to stop them. I wiped them away with my hands desperately. "Cho PD-nim..."

   "Hmm?" he looked at me.

   "Can I get a ride from one of Block B's drivers to the cemetery? I want to tell my mom the good news." I completely forgot about my extreme hunger I felt before talking to him. I just needed to talk to her, even if she couldn't communicate back.

   He smiled and reached into his pocket, pulling out his keys. "I'll drive you myself."

   When I returned home, the boys were gathered around the TV, eating something from bowls. I slipped out of my boots and hung my jacket up in the coat closet. They didn't even look up to notice me. I sneaked past them and into the kitchen, spotting the pot full of ramen. I poured myself some and creeped back into the TV room with them.

   I took a seat on the floor next to Kyung. When I looked up at the TV, I saw they were watching Back to the Future. I laughed with a snort and took a bite of my noodles. "The younger mom hits on her son from the future." I say nonchalantly.

   They all turn to me, noticing my presence finally. "Sam! Where the hell have you been?" Zico asked.

   I shrugged. "Here...there...a little bit of everywhere. Why do you ask?"

   "When we woke we couldn't find you anywhere." Kyung said, nudging me in my ribs.

   "We wanted you to make pancakes..." Minhyuk said with a mouthful of noodles.

   I smiled. "Honey, swallow before you speak. And I do have a life outside of this dorm, you know."

   "Since when?" Jaehyo piped in.

   I paused for a moment. Should I tell them? What if they disagree with me? They needed me so much, and if I were to tell them that I was leaving would they resent me? All of the worst scenarios went through my mind.

   "You're leaving us?!"

   "How could you do this to us! You're so selfish."

   "We need you!"

   "You're our dorm mother. How could a mother leave her sons?!"

   "We love you, don't go!"

   "We had you first, we won't share you!"

   "If you're going to leave us, don't ever come back!"

   Okay, maybe I was over dramatizing things just a bit. But it was true, they depended on me too much. I needed to slowly wean myself from them. I'll start by leaving them for a few hours everyday. Then make my way up to spending all day at the studio. Then I'll break it to them that I'm leaving. It sounded like a pretty simple plan, but it was going to be harder done than said. 

   "Since...since I've been recording my demo..." I said softly, mostly to myself.

   They still heard it. "What?!" Zico's eyes widened in surprise.

   "Demo? You're recording a demo?" Kyung asked.

   "How long is it? And when did you start singing in front of people?" U-Kwon pried.

   "Guys, calm down, Sam can do whatever she wants." Taeil finally spoke up. It did get them to slow down with the questions, and then eventually got them to shut up.

   I took a deep breath in and tried to answer their questions. "I was given the chance to record a full size demo at Stardom Entertainment. Cho PD-nim is helping me get my music out there and trying to get me signed somewhere. He'll be acting like a manager for me at least until I can find someone else. I'm sorry, but I'll be out more than normal, and you guys won't be seeing me a lot around here like before." I paused to look at all of their faces. Some were indifferent, some encouraging. "And during this time, I won't be able to take care of you guys or any house work. Guys...I really want this, and I would appreciate some enthusiasm and encouragement. Not just pouting because I'm not going to be all yours all day every day."

   There was some silence before I got a response. There was head nodding and smiles. "Of course we'll cheer you on, Sam." Kyung nudged me once again.

   "Sam, fighting!" Jaehyo exclaimed and the others joined in as well. 

   But there was only one other person that was missing from the faces of encouragement and support. I watched Jihoon walk away from us and back to his room. I frowned and watched as the door closed behind him.

   I stood with my bowl of ramen. "Excuse me, guys," I put my bowl on the counter and followed Jihoon's footsteps. I opened the door slowly and peeked in. There he sat on his bunk, holding his stuffed insect looking pillow he called "Toto". He looked so cute and innocent. 

   "Hey," I said, taking a step in and closing the door behind me.

   Jihoon looked up, his forehead creased with worry. "Sam," he said in his gruff voice that sounded so melancholy. "What are you doing?"

   I blinked a couple of times. "What do you mean 'what am I doing'? I'm talking to you."

   "No," he set Toto aside. "What are you doing trying to get into the music industry?"

   I frowned, fearing this would happen. "Jihoon...I thought you knew I would pursue this."