I was angry. I didn't know what was going on around me anymore. I just wanted to die. My own body made me sick. The flashbacks didn't stop they actually grew more frequent. I sat in the bathroom wrapped in a towel. The last thing I remembered was sitting in the tub wanting to end my life, and when I woke up he was leaning over me.

''I'm so gross!'' I punched my head. The anger that built up inside me from the moment I realized my nightmare was actually a memory was unbearable. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to hurt myself.

''Jaemi! I'm going to slip clothes through the door.'' I heard Minho's voice. Hearing him made me jump. I almost forgot he was there. 

''Don't touch me!'' Nothing else came out of my mouth. On the inside I was cursing him out, but when I opened my mouth to speak all I could do was plead for my safety. Suddenly the door opened, and a fresh pair of undies, jeans, and a hoodie was thrown in. I wanted more. I put the long sleeved shirt I was wearing earlier on as well as the hoodie, and shoved my dirty socks onto my feet. I didn't want any inch of my body exposed.

''Ugh...'' I felt disgusted with myself again. Minho didn't take my ity, but he did take my sanity. My cheeks started to burn, and I felt a fresh gathering of vomit race up my throat. At least the toilet was right in front of me.

''Jaemi. G-Gwaenchanha?'' His voice wasn't helping my stomach.

''Jaerim, you feel too good.'' I remembered his every word. It rang in my head as I rested on the toilet seat.

                                                             __________________________________________________

She's been in the bathroom all day. She wouldn't come out to eat at all. All I heard was the occasional sound of the toilet flush. Suddenly there was a small ruckus heard from downstairs. I heard a voice that didn't belong to Onew, or Taemin. I ran down before whoever it was decided to come up for a visit. 

''Who's here?'' My question was quickly answered. 

''Oppa!'' Seohyun jumped happily. ''I knew I'd find you here!'' What the hell was this girl doing in my beach house? 

''Seohyun! Why are you here?!'' I was already irritated by her presence. 

''Yah! The three of you make yourselves unreachable for over a month, and this is how you greet me?'' She pouted.

''There's usually a reason if someone is ignoring your calls.'' Onew mumbled loud enough for her to hear.

''Shut up Jinki!'' He wasn't fond of that name which was why Seohyun loved using it.

''Noona, why don't we go for ice cream.'' Taemin took her hand.

''Ani. There's something fishy about this situation. I'm going to check the house.'' She ran upstairs with her thick heels clacking on the wood.

''Seohyun! What are you doing right now?! You can't just walk around my house.'' I reached for her hand as she made it to the second floor.

''Why not?! This'll soon be our vacation home!" She pouted. ''It's sad that Jaerim is no longer with us, but wasn't it always supposed to be me?'' She smiled. Seohyun's parents, and mine were good friends. Ever since she was little she's had the crazy fanstasy of marrying me. Honestly when I looked at her I still saw the annoying eight year old that followed me around every where. 

''Seohyun. Go back home. I'm sure your parents are probably worried.'' I placed my hands on her shoulders, and pushed her in the opposite direction of my room. She couldn't see Jaerim.

''Andwae!'' Somehow she shook me, and before I knew it the door to my room was open, and she was walking inside. 

                                                               _____________________________________________________

After a long spell of silence I pulled up the courage to see if Minho was still there. To my relief he wasn't. I crawled up against the wall, and hugged my knees. It was going to be a long time before I went anywhere near that bed. 

''Why!?'' I banged my head against the wall. My throat was dry, but my eyes weren't. I couldn't control the tears that spilled down my face. If this was how guilty I would feel for the rest of my life I didn't want to live anymore. Suddenly the door flew open, and a tall beautiful girl walked through. Great now I'm turning into a dillusional wack job like Minho.

''Omo!'' She shrieked. ''Oppa! Who is this?!?'' She jumped back. ''Jaerim....?'' 

''Leave me alone!'' I crawled back further into a dark corner of the room.

''Seohyun, I need to explain some things to you-'' She shoved Minho's hand away, and moved closer towards me.

''Please!'' I was begging her not to get any closer. 

''Seohyun don't!'' Just as she reached for my face Onew jumped in front of her. ''She doesn't like being touched.'' He said calmly.

''She shouldn't even be here! Jaerim died! Why am I looking face to face with somebody who's supposed to be six feet under!?''

''Shut up!'' Minho yelled. ''Jaerim isn't dead! She's obviously right there.''

''Minho will explain everything later...just don't touch her..'' So far Onew was the only person I could trust. While I was frozen with fear about to bite through the flesh on my bottom lip, he was protecting me.

''Oppa...what's going on?'' That Seohyun girl's eyes were filling with tears. Minho took her hand, and walked her out leaving me alone with Onew.

''...Jaemi-ah.'' He said my name lightly. For a while he remained silent. Keeping a good distance between us as he sat on the floor in front of me. I felt his stares on my face, but I couldn't meet them. ''Let me help...''

I kept my gaze on a stain in the carpet, and tasted blood from my bottom lip. I was biting down too hard. Suddenly there was a loud shriek coming from downstairs. It was that Seohyun girl I knew it but...that scream sounded so familiar.

''Enjoy this!'' I felt a terrible tearing pain in my area. A high pitched scream escaped my lips. The stinging sensation was vibrating throughout my body. Minho wouldn't stop....no matter how much I begged...he just kept enjoying my agony.

''Stop!!!'' I pulled at my hair. The flashback left just as quickly as it came. 

''Jaemi-ah!'' Onew scooted closer.

''Don't touch me...please!'' I couldn't throw up anymore. I didn't have enough fiber in my body. I was just dry heaving on the floor. My head fell on the soft carpet, and I was shaking. Was this what I was reduced to? Just a shell of the person I used to be?

A/N: I haven't done one of these in a few chapters...I guess it's cuz I want comments pretty please with a mzjulieb2uty on top ^^ lol silent readers only make this harder for me so jebal, un silent yourselves! Thanks a bunch, please subscribe, and COMMENT bye! :3