“I’ll let her leave the Empire. With one condition though! No matter the gender, as soon the child meets the age of seven, he will be sent to the Empire, to learn the language, law and way of life here, in the imperial palace!”

I sighed and threw my body on the grass. I was tired. Like every single muscle in my body was drained out of energy, like my heart was getting weaker and weaker as time passed by… And the emperor’s words were stuck inside my head.

The stars were burning bright above my head, so I chose to turn to them for a solution to my confused thoughts and emotions. What were they all writing there, up on the black sky? Who’s destiny were they telling in bright lights?

“What are they telling you?”

“Your Majesty!” I instantly jumped up from where I was laying. “What are you doing out at this hour? It’s chilly out here…”

Her eyes turned to the sky and the she smiled to the stars. “I just wanted to have a one on one talk with all of them. I just wanted to know where I did wrong…”

It was chilly indeed. Between us, the wind was chilly, like a blizzard. So I turned around, prepared to leave her there, forever talking to the stars.

“Don’t go, Jong Woon,” her fingers caught my sleeve and stopped me.

“I have nothing left here. Nothing to hold me back from returning to the front, no one to wait for me day after day and night after night. I have nothing here. So why should I stay?”

“To protect the child inside me.” Her words could have melted all the snow that was falling between us and bring back spring. Summer was everywhere in her scent. But instead, I could only see the autumn leafs falling at my feet. “Stay for this child and protect him. Teach him how to fight, how to be a great person in the future. Spoil him and get angry at him for the little things that do matter. Be his guardian and his father, Jong Woon. That’s why I want you to stay. As for me, I know that there are no more feelings left for me too inside your heart. I ruined everything. I’m sorry.”

And even though I knew that he was watching us, and even though I knew that I was being weak by giving in, I still spun on my heels to see her face. And my eyes widened as I saw tears trickling down her white skin, rolling all over her cheeks and falling on the trembling lips.

“You fool! Why are you crying over spilled milk?!” Unknowigly, my arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her closer to my body. “I will stay, so stop crying, alright? And it doesn’t matter what happened to us as long as you’re fine, alright? And as long as you remember that I love you and that I need you, you’re always welcomed to join me, be that even on my death bed. Understand what I’m saying here, Ae Ri?” I whispered in her ear. “I love you more than anyone in the world, Cho Ae Ri!”

I felt her fingers clenching around my robe as she remained quiet in my embrace. It was painful indeed. To know that she was there, but that I could not have her or look her in the eyes. It was painful. But I was going to be just fine. As long as she wanted me there, I was going to be just fine… …

“Look at me Ae Ri,” I asked her after a while of total silence. “I’ll stay with you here. But, after the child meets the age of seven and leaves the kingdom for the Empire, I’ll leave. There will be nothing more to keep me here. I don’t think I’ll be able to watch you go to sleep with another man once again.”

“Jong Woon…”

I sighed and turned my eyes to the stars once again. That was my story up there. I knew it. “Please understand. I am old enough to recognize you as my soulmate and only love, but that’s exactly why I can’t find the needed strenght in me anymore, Ae Ri. I am old. And that’s a fact that we both need to face. You’re only 27. But I’m 36 already and look at me: I have no wife, no children, no family for my own. I think it’s time for me to move on after the child departs fot the Empire.”

Her white fingers loosen their grip on my robe, only let go afterwards. She hid her hands behind her back, to prevent me from seeing that they were trembling.

“I understand.”

I could feel that she was practically dying inside. But even so, her voice didn’t tremble at all.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be! I…understand you. And it’s normal for you to wish for all those things. Really now! I don’t think I will ever be able to offer them to you in the situation I am now,” she smiled as she quickly wiped away a tear that was trying to betray her pain.

“Ae Ri…”

“I’m fine.”

And she left me there, with those words hanging in the thin air. She was anything but fine… …

♃~✵~♃

It’s strange how fast time flies right by us. From those moments I got to spent together with Ae Ri in the palace’s garden, to the day she gave birth to her son, to the day Woon Ho said his first word and to the very present where I was trying my best to educate the six year old prince, everything seemed to fly right by me, leaving me nothing to hold dear but the white threads that appear in my hair, showing me that time took pride in making me look like an old man when my spirit was like a burning flame.

“Mother, look! I can beat General…”

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