The summer seemed to fly by me, leaving me emotionless and unimpressed by its beauty. But then, together with the golden autumn, I couldn’t help not to remember that golden pair of eyes that began haunting my dreams once again.

Restless.

There was no peace for me. My soul, my broken heart, my dreams…I saw everything getting destroyed by some words that I, myself said. But even so, I could not stay put and I spent many sleepless nights just because I was afraid of meeting Ae Ri’s eyes.

Sullen.

There was no longer a person that could approach me in anyway. If I was harsh with my students before, now I was merciless, punishing them, making them write till late at night, not giving them any time to breathe or to love.

“Love’s for fools!” I grumbled without even looking at the young man that turned red. “Open your book at the last part of the story and read it. I want you to figure out the meaning behind all that text,”I then continued speaking without minding them staring at me

But I was wrong. Love was the only thing that could have saved me from that prison in which my soul was kept captive… and I was in love. But I denied my own access to it, preferring to be trapped inside my own mind.

And I was looking for her, waiting to encounter her in the Academy’s gardens, waiting to hear her laughter or her silent steps on the grass. But none of those happened. She never came back. Was she ill? Was she suffering because of me? Was she in pain because of me? Thinking that there’ll be no tomorrow because of me?

“Jong Woon!”a female voice called me from my thoughts as I was staring into blank space inside the school’s pavilion. I turned around, hoping in my heart that Ae Ri was running towards me to tell me that…what?

“Oh, Mi Ru! What brings you here?”my voice sounded so distant.

“Is this the way you’re welcoming your future wife?!”she half-joked, half-scolded me.

“Sorry.”

“Come! Let’s take a walk on the field!”she dragged me after her outside the Academy’s grounds. “I love the way the grain smells in this period of the year!”

I remained silent as we walked down the streets of Hanyang and headed towards the field. She was walking happily next to me, not minding the peoples stares and smiling to the heavens. That was Mi Ru, a girl who had no care in the world, who did not paid attention to the other people, not carrying about their opinions.

“Ahhh! The wind’s smell,”she laughed, spreading her arms as if she was trying to embrace the field and keep it close to her heart. “Don’t you love this color? Looks like pure gold to me,”Mi Ru turned her braze to me, waiting for an answer.

What was I supposed to say? That even the sight of the natural color was painful for me? That I was thinking about another woman when my future wife was standing right in front of me?

“Yeah…looks so pure,”I mumbled, my eyes on my feet.

“You know, I don’t think you still love me.”

I looked at her. “Mi Ru, what are you trying to say there?”

“I know that. And you know, I can feel you,”she tilted her head, smiling at me. “Look Jong Woon, this marriage is a marriage made for our parents and not for us.”

“I don’t think I understand,”I frowned.

Mi Ru sighed as she played with her pinkish tassel. “I don’t love you, Jong Woon. I’m sincere enough to say that outloud in front of you. I never did love you. And now…I love someone else who’s not for me apparently,”she shrugged. “Just like you love someone else. Let’s be honest here, Jong Woon so that our marriage turns to be something enjoyable and not a torture,”she then smiled.

I looked at the woman in front of me. Mi Ru grew up. Her mature way of thinking took me by surprise.

“Yes, I love someone else,”I smiled to the golden field.

“Ae Ri’s lucky.”

“H-how did you know?”

“I’m not blind, you know?”she laughed. “And people are talking.”

“I never knew you paid any attention to their words.”

“I had to since it was you they were talking about,”she smiled as we went back, taking the same streets and passing by the same people that looked strangely at us. “And I know that because Jun Hyung suffered dearly because of her disappearance.”

Jun Hyun