"Hello!! We're back again and this time with..."

"I'm Eunhyuk! Feels great to be here and working with Miss Jiyeon here!"

"Yeah and..." I said.

"Today we're doing a special segment, a new segment you could say!" Eunhyuk smiled.

All I did was smile because this was the first time I was hearing about this. I wasn't told of this so I just stood there by Eunhyuk as he seemed to know what we were doing. After he finished his bit filming stopped. I walked over to the director.

"What's going on? I didn't know about this new segment." I said to him.

"You didn't?" He asked.

"No. How come I wasn't told this?" I asked him seriously wondering why I didn't know about it.

"Sorry I don't know. The Producer just came by and told me about it and that everyone knew." The director said.

"Well where is the producer?" I asked.

"I don't know but we are filming soon so just go along and adjust with the changes." The director said.

Nothing else I could do about this so I nodded and made my way to where Eunhyuk was to get ready to continue.

"Well as Eunhyuk said we're doing a short small segment so let's get it started." I said.

"So today we have a few people who have had a rough past and are here to talk about it! They are finally ready to discuss it and hopefully we'll be able to help them out!" Eunhyuk said.

I looked at Eunhyuk while he said what he did, what kind of segment was this? It was when he gave me nudge that I snapped out of it.

"Yes. And our first guest is Kim Sooyoung." I said and watched as she walked onto set and sat on the seat next to Eunhyuk.

"Hello Sooyoung. What about your past do you want to share with us?" Eunhyuk asked.

"Hi. Well I'm currently 26 and I feel as though the person I am today is not the same person that I was in the past. That the person I am now is not really me because in a sense I don't feel complete even though everything seems to be going fine. I don't know why I yearn to return to being that girl I used to be? Why? Why that even though my life is fine now, the person I am today is fine do I want to be someone who had so many problems in the past?" Sooyoung said.

Everything she said rang a bell in my head, a bell that shook everything in my past and made them all resurface again.

"Well what exactly do you think is holding you back?" Eunhyuk asked.

"That's the thing, I don't really know." She said.

"You feel as though the person you use to be was someone so different, someone that seems so distant now but you know that she was a part of you, a part of you that you wish to bring back." I said without really realizing it.

"Yes, exactly! But why?" Sooyoung said.

"...You said that the person you were before had many problems, maybe that's the reason. You want to be her again because now that you are doing fine, everything is fine, you wish to make the girl you use to be fine as well. You want to return to being that girl so that you can solve the problems she had before because now you have the ability to do so." I said.

"So if I understood it correctly, what Jiyeon is saying is that because your life as the person you are now is going fine, a part of you feels incomplete because you weren't always doing fine and that's why you want to return. You want to be the girl you were in the past so that you can correct her mistakes and let her know that everything is fine or could have been made to be okay if she had just tried. To tell her that everything is okay." Eunhyuk said.

Sooyoung sat there speechless looking back and forth at me and Eunhyuk with tears in her eyes.

"Sooyoung. It is okay to make mistakes, it was because of these mistakes that you are the person you are today. The you who is doing fine, the you who is okay, the you who is happy. If it weren't for the mistakes you made in the past you might have not been blessed to be who you are today. Instead of beating yourself down with this girl who had problems, treasure her because she had gone through many things, treasure the person who you are now because ultimately, the you now is the you from before, you've just matured and that's a good thing." I said.

"...Thank you. Somehow even though we're both different people and you are younger than me I feel as though your words are truly genuine. I don't know how you got to that conclusion from what I just told you but thank you. Everything you said was true, I can feel it." Sooyoung said.

After Sooyoung we took a short break before the next guest. Everything I said to Sooyoung replayed in my head. Was I really addressing her or was I addressing myself? I think it was to the both of us. Do I really believe in everything I just said? Somehow the words I said don't mean as much as I would have liked. I should really move on and just live my life but my past is too huge for me to just ignore. I can't say I treasure...Ji, Hyun Jung, Se Hee, Seo Yul and Ji Kyung when quite honestly nothing good came out of them. I was met with a hardship that I will never, ever forget in each and every life I lived. Filming started again and I didn't know what to expect next.

"Let's welcome our last guest, Lee Haeri." Eunhyuk said.

This Haeri walked onto set and sat in the same chair Sooyoung was just sitting on a few moments ago.

"So Haeri, what about your life do you want to share?" I asked.

"...This is not easy for me to say." Haeri said as tears were already welling up in her eyes.

"Don't be afraid. We're here to listen." Eunhyuk said.

"Well...when I was 16, I'm now 23...my father was killed." She said as tears were falling down. "He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I loved my father very much, he was my role model. It was just me and him at the time and so we did a lot together. He loved me and I loved him. Ever since my mom left I thought at least the person I could always count on was my dad. That he would never leave me, that he and I would always be together. The moment I heard of his death, my world came crashing down. I still think of him every now and then, thinking about what my life would be like if he was still here. Sometimes the memories aren't enough and I yearn for more. What's the saddest is that more and more, very slowly, my memories of him, with him are disappearing." Haeri said as she held the tissue to her eyes.

"I am sorry to hear that. I'm sure he is watching over you right now. I'm sure his love for you is still there. He probably misses you like crazy too but he probably wants you to move on. He must want you to live and to be happy. He is always here with you and even though these memories you have of him are disappearing, I know that you still remember everything he taught you, I mean he is a part of you. He raised you, you are of his blood so a part of him is in you. That will never disappear...Oh? Jiyeon, why are you crying?" Eunhyuk said.

"Because I understand. I've too lost someone very special in my life." I don't know why I said it but I did. "He was someone I looked upon as a father, a friend, someone I thought I would be with for the rest of my life. Like Haeri, he was killed. I think of him from time to time wondering what my life would be like if he was still here with me. He is someone I will never, ever forget, I hold him very close to my heart. I do find myself losing memories of him as time passes and I feel bad because of that. It's like I'm letting him down by not remembering him." I said as his face was appearing right before my eyes.

"That's what I feel. Like I should be punished because even though I love my father so much I keep losing my memories of him. It's like I'm telling him I don't love him by not keeping each and every memory." Haeri said.

"Haeri. As someone who has experienced the same thing. Our memories of that person isn't everything. As long as we remember who he was, as long as we remember what he taught us, what he did for us, what he means to us it will be okay. Love is more than just the memories we have. Love is the feeling, the moments, time, respect, so much more and I'm sure your dad knows that you love him. I know they are still looking after us because sometimes I can just feel him around, his presence, not necessarily his ghost but rather everything he taught me, the love I had for him. I look in the mirror and sometimes see him, because if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be the person I am today, I might not be the best that I can be right now but I will get there, a part of that will be because of him. Even if all my memories of him are gone, as long as I remember what he taught me and as long as I live my life the way I want, I know that I will not be letting him down." I said.

There was a moment of silence before Eunhyuk stepped in.

"I hope that helped Haeri." He said looking at both me and Haeri.

"...It really did. Thank you Jiyeon. I am very sorry for your lost. I know what it feels like. And I will remember what you have said. I just needed to hear someone say it. I hope you know that if your friend that died was still alive he would be very proud. He is very proud." Haeri said.

Filming ended and I guess I must have looked like someone who doesn't want to be bothered because no one spoke to me when I was getting ready to leave. I got to my apartment and stood at the door with tears falling down my face. 

"Ahjussi, I miss you." I really do miss you, I wish you were here with me. I looked over at my sofa and a memory of him flashed before my eyes. I went over to the sofa, sat on the ground and leaned my head on the figure I had made of him just like when it happened before. My head wanting to lean on him landed on the hard, cold sofa. "Ahjussi, I hope you're looking down on me, I hope you are proud of me..." I fell asleep with one last thought, this feeling...everything that happened today feels like the start of something, something big.