Title: Left Me Hanging
Pairing: SiwonxKyuhyun (WonKyu)
Inspired by: Spongecola's Di Mo Na Mababawi
A/N; It's a one-shot patterned to a Tagalog song. Wrote this yesterday because it's so quiet and then le past starts to creep in. /shot So yeah. The lyrics might be Tagalog (but I'll be adding the English translation).
- SIWON -
Ngayo'y aking inuunawang pilit
(I try to think back on)
Mga pagkukulang kong iyong ginigiit
(The shortcomings I have)
Sana'y malaman mo na tanging ikaw lamang
(I hope you'll know that you're the only one)
Ang aking iniintindi
(I understand)
He left me.
Reality has never been so painful after he left me. Everything was perfect at first, but all of a sudden, in a blink of an eye, it all vanished.
I laid down on my bed, motionless and unable to grasp everything in my reach. For once, this is the first time I ever felt so... unwhole. I did everything make him mine, but it all went into waste.
How could I forget the times he would brag me to his friends, that he already met someone for him, that he will love me forever until it ends. I hoped for a very serious and quiet relationship, until that happened.
I hugged the pillow tight as my tears spilled. Everything was wasted and that love, as we now call it, is wasted. How could I possibly forget that pain?
He made me wait. But that waiting made me impatient. Until I realized he already found somebody else.
Who is better off than me.
I knew I was not that emotional type, who would cry over relationships that tragically end in your grasp. But this is so different. I was the one who called it off after seeing him with another.
Another. That word leaves a bitter taste in my lips as it escapes.
Normally, they would call it off, but now, I did that part. Ever since from the start, I felt unloved. I felt that all of the love that he showers... lacks something. He did brag me, introduce me to his family, but it still lacks something.
His face is still flashing in my mind. How could I forget his angelic smile, his evil yet beautiful smirk, his brownish locks, his perfect jawline, and his red lips.
Those lips that I can't really forget. That lips that makes every word sweet as honey. He made me believe in those lies. Those promises were already lies.
Nakatanim pa sa'king alala
(Instilled in my memories is)
Pangako mong mananatili ka
(Your promise that you'll stay)
Kaya't paglisan mo'y naiwan ang pusong ito
(When you left, you left this heart)
Na ngayo'y bitin na bitin
(Unsatified, unfulfilled)
I felt stupid, and he let me play with my feelings. How could I forget how long he made me wait at the ATM line just because he needed to finish his game in an internet shop at the mall.
I felt dumb. And a jerk.
He wanted me to believe. That I should have faith in him. Those promises. That broken promises.
He was the only one in my mind. He made a bunch of silly promises, and one of them is for him to stay.
But maybe promises are really meant to be broken.
Promises. That also leaves a bitter taste, and feeling, in my lips.
Those memories. Those stupid dates. They weren't even dates, just an excuse for him to go out.
He made me hope. I was a hopeless romantic, yes I am, but when he loved me -- did he even love me? Did he even make me love him as I am?
I guess he just used himself for his own entertainment.
All those painful memories. Eventually they'll fade, right? But not for me. This is why I vowed not to go into a relationship, again.
I was too foolish to think that he would turn my world upside down, and that I will be his greatest gift from Heaven, but Lord knows he's wrong.
I was the best thing he never had.
I guess I was only a doll for him, a toy that he will play until he finds something new. I was a temporary plaything for him, the video game that he likes for a while, until he meets his true love.
True love. A pang in my chest was felt as I utter those words.
What is true love anyways if I didn't feel anything from him? And that I was a nothing to him.
'Di mo na mababawi iniwang sakit
(You can no longer take the pain that you left)
Sa mga salitang binitiwan mo
(With the words you've said)
Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagpasya, nagtakda at siyang unang umiwas?
(Weren't you the one who decided, planned and first shied away?)
Bakit nga ba ako 'yong pinaasa?
(Why did you make me wait and hope for nothing?)
I sat up and looked at the wall, filled with photos with me and him together. I don't know what should I do with them.
Rip them out from their place? No, it would still be there.
Throw them immediately? But it will just leave a trail of shattered memories in my mind.
Burn them? But that just means that I didn't really treasure our relationship.
I then stood up and searched throughout my cabinet, looking for something for me to forget it. I smiled crookedly and saw a small box with a lock.
I gently removed the photos and the other paraphernalia from my wall. I placed them inside the box and after putting it all away, I locked it in place and placed it inside my night table.
I locked my night stand and threw the key away. I never want to open that night stand, even again. It just reminds me of pure sadness.
Wounds are still in my heart, both from my heart and my eyes. I've been crying ever since I called it off and it left him hanging there. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting my tears fall.
He left. That's all and he will immediately forget me. His wound will immediately heal, but mine won't.
I love you but I need to let you go.
Goodbye, Cho Kyuhyun.
What the fudge did I just write? /facekeyboard
I just made this yesterday evening, and I have to say, I was too sentimental that time. XD
Update! First one-shot that is full p.o.v. XD
- Jeanne ♥ [130517]
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