I woke up screaming. Jiyong's twisted face was still a fresh picture in my mind when I sat up, sweat pouring down my face, panting. A week had past since the incident, but I still had nightmares every night. Even after his death, Jiyong wouldn't leave me alone. 

My cream colored doors slammed open as Jaehyung swept into my room, anxious. "You okay, Kaina?"

"Yeah," I nodded feebly, "I'm fine. Just another one of those darn nightmares." 

"Another one?" Worry crossed his handsome face. "You've been having them nonstop for a long time now. You're hardly getting any real sleep!" 

"This phase will pass eventually, I hope," I smiled lightly. Because now Jiyong was definitely dead, and that was significantly better than him being in prison, because there was no chance of him breaking free and coming after me for revenge. 

Jaehyung sat down on my bed and watched me with quiet eyes. "Everyone's worried about you. They've noticed how you've gone silent at school again." 

That much was true. Rather than breaking down in front of all of my classmates, I had kept my shaking to myself and instead, opened my mouth less, fearing that if I did, everything would come tumbling out. "I'll keep myself in check," I sighed, "So don't worry. I'll talk tomorrow at school."

"Don't force yourself, Kaina." He reached over my bed and lightly patted my head. "You've done a lot already, more than I ever could hope to accomplish in my life." 

I rolled my eyes. "You're totally exaggerating, but thanks for the effort." 

He cracked a smile. "Caught red-handed. Anyways, can you go back to sleep?" 

Nodding my head, I slid back down into my covers and closed my eyes. 

"Goodmorning, Kaina, and sleep tight, okay?" His voice receeded as he exited my room.

When he was gone, I sighed and sat up. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep tonight. I glanced at my clock. Great, it was already four in the morning. 

After preparing myself for another bombarding day at school, I ate a silent breakfast in the dim kitchen by myself. My parents were still sleeping; they hadn't heard my screams since their bedroom was on the other side of the house and the walls were thick. Now that I think about it, I don't think Jaehyung has warmed up enough to call him his "mom" and "dad" yet. At least he's nice to us. 

By the time school rolled around, I was totally ready for a nap, but unfortunately, I had to force my eyes open as I drilled holes into the teacher's white board. I responded to my friends' conversations, and I could see their relief. The rumors about me died down once I started acting like a normal human being again. 

Even Jordan was being nice to me. We hadn't crossed paths since Jaehyung's first day of school when she went overboard with flirting. My fan base backed off these past few days and had given me space, something that was rare and I was totally grateful for it. 

But I wasn't sure if I like the new way everyone regarded me. They were still extremely friendly, but the way they treated me... it was as if I was something delicate and fragile. Though I liked having peace in my school, it was all just too... weird. 

Stephanie was still the same though. She was still hitting on Jaehyung like there was no tomorrow. 

"Kaina! Let's grab some lunch!" Seohyun hooked her arm around mine and dragged me to the crowded cafeteria where the rest of the group was waiting for us. Someone, probably Kikwang, had convenientaly already bought everyone's lunch so that'd we'd be able to sit down and enjoy eating right away. 

"Thanks, Kikwang Oppa," I smiled. 

"No problem, you rascal," he returned the smile and messed up my hair with his hand. 

We ate and laughed like usual, this time with Jess and Seungho shyly sitting together. They were off to a great start. 

I kept watching Jaehyung out of the corner of my eye. Ever since the whole episode with Jiyong, he had been kinder to my parents and I, but at the same time, he had also began to distance himself from us. If only I could see what he was thinking... 

Once we arrived at home, I stared at my agenda, dismayed. I had three tests tomorrow, two quizzes, and an English project due. High school can seriously sometimes. I can go weeks without having a lot of homework, but then BAM! All of my teachers decide to dish out crap at the same time. 

"So much for free time after school," I grumbled as I slumped my way to my room. At least... this will take my mind off things. 

When eleven o'clock rolled by, after I had taken a short break for dinner at six, Jaehyung poked his head into my room with a smug smile plastered across his face. "So, you've been awfully silent and I was wondering why. Turns out you're studying? Hah!" 

"Shut up," I groaned. My brain felt like mush. I doubted I could cram anything else into it after working on a project for four hours and studying for another four. 

"Welcome to the world of Asian students in Asia, except this is our life 24/7, not just once in a blue moon," he grinned. "But of course, I lived more like you do. I didn't really study much back in Korea."

I glared at him. "So go away and leave me alone to wallow in my misery." 

"Sure thing," he called out cheerfully as he whirled away humming a light tune. 

Smacking my forehead, I returned my focus back to my last test that I needed to study for. I understood most of what I was reading, but every fifth line was jumping in one eye, through my brain, and out the other eye without leaving any evidence behind. "I should sleep," I muttered. But I was afraid of sleep. I was now afraid of the dark, and of what the darkness would bring. 

I glanced at the bottle of sleeping pills that were perched upon my desk. "Am I becoming depressed?" I wondered aloud to myself. "I don't smile as much anymore, I don't laugh, I don't sleep. I'm like a living zombie, which totally makes no sense." I'm becoming the way I was when I first lost my Oppa. Shoot. I'm becoming the way I was when I had been attacked by Jiyong and sent to the hospital. 

What's with me and this whole depression thing? 

Whatever, Depression. Go away. Never come back again. 

I felt determined as I picked up the bottle and threw it in the trash. There was no point in floundering around in my past. Life keeps moving; it doesn't wait for anyone. I'm going to have to keep up, or I'll be left behind. 

I hated how I kept returning to that dark state recently. I felt.. weak. I was stronger than this. 

I stared at the bottle that was now in the trash. 

If anything, throwing the bottle away was more sybolic than anything. It meant I had finally accepted my past- all of it- and was now facing forward, for good. No more returning back to those horrible days. 

A smile found its way to my face and I touched my lips in wonder. 

When I woke up the next morning, I realized that I had finally slept without nightmares. 

I felt lighter. 

I felt happier. 

Now I had something else I needed to face- Jaehyung. Why was he becoming so... distant recently, while at time same time drawing close?

... Was that even possible? 
 

~ _~ _~ _~ _~ _~ 

Sorry guys, I feel like I make Kaina depressed too much, but I kinda feel like those chapters were neccessary. But hey! On a brighter note, Kaina is done with depression! All those gloomy chapters are over and done with! Yay!

[I mean, I couldn't really make Kaina kill someone without dark chapters following. If she killed someone and was super bubbly in the next chapter, there is definitely something wrong with the girl!]