To the Left, To the Right
My First Love is You
[towards end of year 7]
All things were normal in year 7. The usual stress in weeks seven and eight, where all the assignments were due, and when all the tests were going to take place. Everything was indifferent. Ever since year seven, I have thought about it sometimes. How Sungjae and I were fated to meet each other even after we seperated in year four. But close to the end of year seven, I stopped believing in fate. Shouldn't fate bring two people close to each other, and not in different directions?
Everyday, Sungjae and I took the same train. Occasionally, he would miss it because his school was further away, but most days he ran just in time for the doors. On rainy days, I would see him running from the other end of the street into the station. Then I would know that he had forgotten to bring an umbrella to school - AGAIN. On sunny days, I would often see Sungjae walking into the station with his friends, chatting away furiously. I would know then, that he had just finished an exam at school, and was curious to see what his friends had gotten. I genuinely understood him well, but it all seemed useless. Fate always pulled us apart.
He would always walk down the escalator on the left side of the platform, and I would walk down the steps onto the right side of the platform. Logically, we also boarded the different sides of the train. I remember though, that particular day when he boarded my side of the train. He had walked past me without noticing, and the train was too packed for me to call him back. Ever since then, I would always take a look back at the platform to see if it was another lucky day. When we got off the train at Central stop, he would always take the flight of steps on the right side of the platform, and I would take the left. If that wasn't unlucky enough, we exited the station at opposite exits. We would always miss each other by that millisecond, where I look across, just in time to miss Sungjae around the corner.
When I stopped believing in fate, I tried to make opportunities to bump into each other. I would drag my friend over, and wait by the escalator that he walks down on. I would look up, waiting patiently for Sungjae to come down. Whenever he did come down, I would hide with my friend and laugh, thinking it was a lucky day. The days that he weren't here, I would walk back to the other side of the platform, just to have him coming down the very second I turn around. When I arrived at Central stop, I would run out of the train doors to the right stairs just to catch a faint glimpse of his face. On days that I don't see him, I wonder if he had happened to walk down the left staircase that day, and when I reach the station, I would run over to the left staircase and wait until everyone had come down. Never once did I see him come down though.
Things seemed gloomy between Sungjae and I. When I told my friends about it, they would just call me socially awkward. It was to the point where I didn't know what to do anymore. Fate never ran on course for us, and even when I tried to create opportunities, I would feel too shy to approach him, or I would just end up disappointing myself again. We were like the opposite ends of a compass. No matter how hard you try to turn a compass off course, West and East would always point in the same direction, and most of all, they always ran in opposite directions. Just like Sungjae and I; to the left, to the right.
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If anyone is chinese here, they might've read a book or watched a film called 'to the left, to the right'?
Of course, the title is in chinese though. This chapter was inspired by this film/book, but this.... it really is a true story.
This is the only chapter where every single detail is true in my life, so I hope you all enjoy it!
Please comment if you can! ^^
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