I was finally in year nine, and that year, everything seemed different. I was fourteen; I didn't feel young and immature anymore. I felt like I had grown so much over the holidays and the past year. Sungjae was still on my mind, even though I had tried so hard forgetting him. Mysteries have still remained mysteries to me, and I was still confused of where that note had come from. I had a dream just today. A dream where Sungjae had finally confessed to me that he loved me all these years, like how I loved him. He told me that he was afraid; he told me that he was confused about his own feelings and that he didn't believe them. If only this dream came true a year ago, when I was still in year nine, I might've accepted him.

That morning, I had gone to my normal Japanese class and sat next to my friend BinHee. She was another one of my friends who knew I liked Sungjae. "Hey, guess what Minyoung? Sungjae might like you!"
I smiled at that thought, but tried to hide it from her. "Um.. why do you think so?"
"He told me that he likes a girl with dark chocolate hair, and hazelnut eyes. He also said that his crush comes from his previous school!"
"Well, then it could be you!" I joked to her, as she had similar features as me.
"Stop joking! I had to ask him for the whole train trip for him to tell me! It's obviously you!" I laughed at her, but secretly I was just laughing at the fact that he might still like me. After all, what else could I wish?

But why was it that all days when important things seemed to happen, I was always away eating dinner out, or was just not online? That day, when the worst thing happened, I had come home late from a school function. I was tired and had fell on my bed once I came home. After showering and cleaning my clothes, I logged into my laptop. I opened chat, and I had realised that I received over 10 notifications. "What could it be?" I thought, and opened the first notification.
Heejin had messaged me. "Hey... I feel bad for you."
I was slightly confused at that moment. What happened that Heejin was feeling bad about? I continued to my second notification. My other friend had also sent me a similar message. "Hey Minyoung, Heejin told me about it. LOL"

I was even more confused after all these messages that came to me. What were they all about? I had decided to ask Heejin about it that night.
"Hey Heejin, why is everyone feeling bad for me?"
Seconds ticked by, but they felt so long. I already had a clue what her response would be of. Sungjae.
"Um... hey click this link and watch this video."
She sent me a link, but the content was unavailable to me. I found it very strange, because Heejin had told me that it was public for all her friends.
After around 15 minutes of trying to give me links, she gave up. "Hey, you know what, don't worry. Just watch it off my account. You know my password right?"
I was becoming anxious already. She was so desperate to show me the video that she had given me her password. I did not bother to reply later, and logged in using her account details. I followed the link that she sent to me, and saw a preview of the video. Indeed... It was Sungjae. At that moment, I did not want to watch the video anymore. If all my friends were feeling bad for me... this video would definitely hurt me.

I ended up watching the video that night anyway. After 10 minutes of contemplating, I pressed play. Yes, I contemplated for 10 minutes for a stupid 4 second video that was definitely not worth watching. I glanced at Sungjae's familiar face, and felt my own heat up. I felt the curves of my mouth rising too, but the content of this video was definitely not worth smiling for. What else could I have to expect anyway? It has been 4 to 5 years and...and I couldn't have possibly expected anything else.
I smiled, trying to suppress my overwhelmed feelings, and clicked replay on the video.
"Hey Lee Bin Hee, do you want to go out with me?"
These words kept ringing inside of my head. I had been in Bin Hee's japanese class since year seven, and we've definitely grown close. I stared away from the video and decided to just log off from Heejin's account. Better not being able to watch it than hurting over it all the time. I logged back into my account, and stared at one particular message that popped up. It was from Bin Hee.
"Minyoung! I'm sorry... I never knew that the one Sungjae liked was me."

So it was her after all. She was bubbly, outgoing and cute, who wouldn't like her? I was quite the opposite, and did not even know anyone from the Boys School. It was okay I guess, I would feel good for her as she was my friend... So many thoughts ran over my mind at that moment, and I started to feel my eyes welling up. It was okay... it was all okay. I started sobbing. I couldn't stand all those emotions in me at that moment, and it was the first time I broke down in tears. I've waited for so long... why couldn't this be happening to me? Why is it that no matter how hard I try pursuing you, all I can see is your back view?

After I finally started to calm down, I stared at all the other messages I received. Heejin had sent me a few, so I decided to reply her.
"Hey Minyoung... I think I know why you can't view the video," Heejin said in the message, "A user can only not view a video posted if either the person who posted the video was not a friend of yours, or if they made the video specifically unavailable for the user."
At first, I couldn't comprehend what she said to me, but then, I started to realise what she was hinting to me. I read on.
"Minyoung, I think someone purposely made the video unavailable to you. You know who I'm talking about, right?"
I finally realised. Sungjae... he blocked the video from me? Why wouldn't he let me see the video?
"Minyoung, I think Sungjae did it so that you wouldn't be hurt. He... although he likes someone else now, I know that he still cares for you."
I read the message two times, and blinked blankly. I felt a new wave of tears coming in, not from sadness but from happiness. 'He still... cared for me?' I thought to myself. I blinked my tears away, and started to type a message to Heejin.
"Heejin... I will forget him. Although he likes someone else, I will forget him to make both our lives easier."

I sent this message, and spent the rest of the night rocking back and forth on my chair. When you're stuck in a storm, all you can do is run. If you stand in that one spot all your life, all you'll ever know of is pain and suffering. If you run, you might find a paradise where there's only happiness and joy. If you run... you might even find that one person who is willing to hold out their umbrella for you all your life and shelter you from the scariest storms. I thought that the storm will clear up one day, and I would be able to find Sungjae in my paradise, so I've stayed in that same spot for 5 years. Now I've become tired of all this hide and seek we play... It's time to move on and run.

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Hi everyone! I'm sorry there was a short notice for the ending for this story, but I
really hope you've enjoyed my story! It means a lot to me really, because I decided
that at the end of writing this story, I will forget my first love:)
So I really hope you've all enjoyed it; please take some time to comment on this story
and... yeah! Thanks a lot!^^