A/N: The title says crushed, but who is crushing who?

Jiyong's POV

The limelight was shined directly onto us, blinding me from the world all expect for one. All expect for Seungri.

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Age 16

Seungri's POV

The 5 of us stormed throughout the hallways of the school; creating havoc in our path as Daesung and Seunghyun threw their lunch wrappers in each other's faces, Youngbae demonstrated a few 'beginner' back flips and cartwheels in hopes that one day we would be flipping through the corridors with him, and Jiyong pausing to stare longingly at a flyer taped on the yellow wall. I slipped away from my position next to Daesung to get a closer look.

The colorful glossy ad displayed a cartoon rocketeer strumming onto his electric guitar and neon block letters cluttered all around the picture. The stars pasted next to the guitarist literally reflected back into Jiyong's eyes, two fat 5-pointed triangles glassing over his gaze as I snatched the paper off it's post away from his view.

"The annual talent show?" I wondered aloud as I sensed the others crowd around me. Excited murmurs were heard throughout the huddle before Jiyong harshly crumpled the page away from my grip and threw it to the floor, jumping up and down on top of it a couple times for good measure. A faint gasp escaped Daesung's lips as Jiyong proceeded walking in the same direction we were headed like he did not just damage school property.

"Jiyong wait!" tripping over each other to catch up to the male, I was the first to reach him as I stuffed the retrieved paper back into his face impatiently. Once the flyer had slipped off of his skin, I greeted him with a toothy smile while an annoyed scowl was shot back.

"I know what you're thinking, and no." My grin was wiped off my face immediately quickly being replaced by a pout. "But Jiyongie!" I stalked him up and down the hall as the others watched me, searching through their bags most likely for some sort of snacking material. I latched my arms up to his neck and jumped on uninvited, him having to swing around in futile attempts to shake me off before resigning to holding my legs for support. I eagerly began playing with some of his browning hair at the roots, messing up his perfectly styled do in the process.

"It's Jiyong hyung" Ignoring his acts of protest, I squeezed on tighter to his torso so that there was little to no chance of me accidentally slipping off. I missed the piggyback rides, they seemed to disappear once everyone deemed that we were much too old and mature for horseplay anymore; but on occasions like these I could discreetly sneak them in to be confused with tom foolery.

"Hyung, I've heard you writing lyrics to yourself in the middle of the night, we all have! Why not!" Finally giving up on dumping me in nearby trash cans, he bobbed on his knees giving me a little joyride for the heck of it. I glanced over to the other 3 to find them staring intently at the scene before them like the of a really good movie, Seunghyun passing over his bag of chips to the rest of them now and again.

"No."

"But you're so good!" Jiyong slammed his back against the wall with me cushioning the blunt of the force, nice.

"Still"

"I'll never let go if you don't agree!" A couple more back-smashes followed after my statement, causing me to wince with every impact; I think he broke my spine. Persistently I squished the life out of him in a bone crushing hug, it was really a test to see who could last longer throughout the pain before well, dying. I let loose a sigh of relief as I felt his feet fail him making the both of us collapse to the floor, this time him being the armor.

"Get off me." hesitating to comply, I rolled off while making sure to dig my elbows into his back for good measure. A long, agonizing yelp of pain moaned out from Jiyong's covered mouth as our audience snickered loudly; clearly showing no sympathy for the suffocated boy. 

"It's for your own good, you'll regret it if you don't join." Jiyong pushed himself off the ground and straightened out his hair and clothing, making sure he was presentable in one of the classroom windows before he replied. What was Jiyong without his fashion sense? Glaring maliciously towards the no longer munching trio in the corner, they threw their food to the nearest garbage can and shifted to the closest hallway exit, holding their hands up in surrender form before dashing down the foyer without another word. I however, stood my ground.

"You know it's true." for the past few years Jiyong had always seemed to miss his opportunities to show the world his true colors, either forgetting about tryouts completely, or simply having not enough time or talent to have the guts to compete. Though he never lost the chance to stare anxiously towards the new winners each year as they walked up to claim his or her prize, longing for himself to be the one up at the stage. A defeating arm running through his tousled over hair indicated that I had won the battle.

"Then I'll have to make a song, write the lyrics, practice..." I waved him off labeling it as just a small matter. Before he could go on about all the effort he must put into the project, the bell had rang officially ending the playtime for students to let them go back to their mundane little lives of doing classwork, we of which had to do the same.

"Want me to walk you to class?" I beamed at the offer, the tiring decline down three flights of stairs would be much more bearable with company, especially with Jiyong. Be as it may, a slim female bounced into view claiming his attention completely away from my almost answer. Twirling her hair by the strands, I was no match for her all-too rehearsed pout and light brushes up his arms stealing his gaze from me entirely. It really wasn't fair

"Come to class with me?" Surah peeked up at him through her long eyelashes as I watched his heart flutter from the sidelines, he was thoroughly wrapped around her little finger and she knew it, he knew it. I found myself looking down at my own digits pondering why I was lacking of such a charm, mine was lanky and rough while her's were soft. 

I notice Jiyong shoot a guilty glance at me as though he was actually contemplating who who wanted to go with, I saved him the trouble. "It's fine, my class is really close anyway." I lied through my teeth. I saw Surah smile at me gratefully, my own was strained and broken while her's was genuine and sweet.

The two of them walked away hand in hand to the opposite end of the hall way, I've come to realize that she had a lot of things I am lacking. Her fingers were nice to the touch, her smile was beautiful and pure. Perhaps what was the biggest difference between us of all was the fact that she had Jiyong, and I didn't.

I tried not to burn my heart to a crisp as I made my long journey down those three sets of stairs alone.

*later*

Jiyong had himself locked up in his room for hours on end as the rest of us sat patiently in his living room, Mrs. Kwon coming in and out to offer us food and beverage from time to time; something I've always rejected despite my growling stomach.

"Do you think he's all right up there?" I asked for the millionth time, earning a sigh from the rest of the group. Seunghyun stuffed yet another cookie in his mouth and began speaking with food goblets spitting out with every word. I shielded myself from the flood of biscuit chunks as Youngbae kindly held his lips closed until he finished chewing.

"I was just saying that if you were so worried why don't you go up and check?" Seunghyun said grudgingly while secretively reaching out for more sweets.  As he and Daesung attacked each other for the last snack, I had already slipped from the couch and made my way up the stairs and in front of Jiyong's shut bedroom door; pencil scribbling and eraser rubbing heard discretely behind the wood.

"Jiyong...?" I poked my head through the tiny crack in the doorway I made for myself as I crept wide-eyed to find Jiyong ferociously writing notes down with mountains of crumpled paper littering his floor, every single one of them missing the empty trash bin sitting in the corner of the room. He turned his blood-shot eyes to my attention as we connected gazes, flicking his head inwards telling me to come in and close the door afterwards.

Once I was fully amerced in the room, I picked up a stray paper ball and uncrumpled it gingerly. These were lyrics, the majority crossed out for that matter before being discarded onto the floor. Jiyong continued to slave over his soon to be masterpiece as I lifted a spare chair to place it beside his, sitting down lightly and leaning in for an closer look at the process of writing.

The page was absolutely bare

"What have you been doing all this time?" I watched him gesture to the pile of abandoned sheets of music on the floor as his explanation. I looked down once again at the tattered paper still in my hand and read them over a couple times in my head. The words were cliche, no heart felt feelings were poured into the song like I usually to hear while casually leaning against his door frame to get a glimpse in the artist world. What happened to those?

"I can't write." Jiyong said to answer the unspoken question. I sighed, everything was backwards. Shouldn't getting a girlfriend feul the hunger and inspiration to make lyrics flow? Of course, I wouldn't know. I fell back into my chair and soothed my temple from the minor headache I gained just by thinking about it.

"Sure you can, you just need a topic" He vibrated his head left and right rapidly as he clutched onto my shoulders for leverage and let out a small whimper of helplessness. His fingertips dug deep into my sides as I stopped myself from crying out, letting him use me as his own personal punching bag. 

"No, you don't understand. I CAN'T WRITE!" As suddenly as he held on, he shoved me aside into my seat as my back hit the spine of my chair with a thud. I had to hold onto the desk to prevent from falling onto the floor like the forgotten papers filled with words that were 'just not good enough', I was determined not to end up as only that. Even so, I would not say a thing.

"Writing a song isn't just about getting the right words and rhythms, it should come from the heart with love. All the sadness and unwanted drama goes with it, not all fairytales can have happy endings." I added bitterly, I had to learn that first hand. Prince charmings aren't going to come sweep you off your feet if they've found another Cinderella, what if the destined princess was just too late? Life would go on and she would end up alone, just wishing for someone to save them who would essentically never come. 

"What do you know about love Seungri. You're just a kid." I refused myself to speak as I rose from my chair, kicking the crumpled music underneath my feet and decided to take my leave. Why stay somewhere when I'm not wanted. Jiyong however had other plans, grasping my fleeing arm and tugging me back in place roughly. Still, I did not meet his eyes.

"You seem to know what you're doing, better than I do anyway." He pushed a pencil from the cup full of utensils into my hand, willing me to hold it. "Let's make this a duet, if you're willing to sing with me." I tried looking up at him the way Surah did, but even though I could not see myself it felt pitiful and wrong. Instead I settled with an award winning grin that I've mastered throughout the years, gripping the pencil tighter in my grasp and adjusted the paper till it was between the two of us; perfectly centered. 

"I'd love to. As long as you don't slow me down." The rest of the night followed with bellows of laughter, the pencil tapping transforming into a magical art instead of the directionless scribbles they had been just a while ago. Eventually we fell asleep on the table sprawled with lead, heads resting inches apart and a little piece of perfection clutched tightly in our hands.

*talent show*

Jiyong fiddled with his guitar strap restlessly as we monitored another pair of students performing from the little TV installed in the back room of the gymnasium. Tons of people in costumes and heaving musical instruments crowded the area making me feel awfully under dressed, though I was not one to care what others may think. I patted his back reassuringly while trying to calm my own dancing butterflies as well.

"We'll do great, just think of something you love." he scoffed at me while brushing my hand off teasingly. As my arm fell, he reclaimed it in the palm of his own giving me a couple nervous squeezes. I smiled and squeezed back. 

One of the volunteer staff for the event jabbed me slightly in the ribs and whispered that we had the stage next. I reluctantly let go of Jiyong's warm embrace and shifted my mic from palm to palm to get rid of the rushing cold that had come upon me from the loss. Somehow my obvious loneliness had gone unnoticed as Surah came running towards us to wish us luck, even giving me a hearty handshake out of politeness I'm sure. They managed to skip the goodbye kiss when the same volunteer came usher us to the stage, blowing one to each other instead. Of course.

I put aside my hurt feelings as the blaring spot light was casted down upon us, temporarily visionless until my pupils decided to zero in on Jiyong's just as disoriented state. Somehow his eyes were glazed over me, an awestruck expression glued to his face as I chose to ignore his little act and readied up my mic. Now the audience had come into view, and I can hear loud cheering coming from near the back that was probably Youngbae, Daesung and Seunghyun. I waved anyway despite not being able to see.

Jiyong was still stuck in space as I tried to cue his guitar entrance for him. Sweat pouring bucket loads from the sides of my head as  I kept nudging him to begin. Confused murmurs spread throughout the crowd, raising the hairs on my arms like an electrical shock. If we don't do something soon, the audience might riot. Jiyong, what the hell are you doing?

Jiyong's POV

I could not see, it was like I was blinded to the whole world expect for Seungri's dark figure leading me out of this facade. There was a soft, gentle glow around him different from the hurtful white that cascaded around my body. He was trying to say something, but it seems that my hearing had left with my sight. He pointed to the guitar hanging limply at my side, yet I could not think either.

I felt his arm reach out and grasp onto the collar of my shirt, leaning in so close that I could feel his hot breath wash over my nonfunctioning ear to say something. "What are you doing you idiot? I cued you!" I could hear the panic in his words, though probably less stricken then my own pulse as I came to the frightening conclusion that Seungri may be the only thing I could hear, see, or feel. Why won't they just turn the damn light off?

"Come on hyung, just think of the one you love."

How come no one but Seungri had popped into my mind? The vivid glare couldn't control my thoughts too could it? Instead of answering myself, I picked up the guitar and started playing the 4 chords that I have memorized by heart, Seungri's fearful gaze relaxing slightly as he picked up his microphone once again and waiting for his verse to come.

Even though I knew I was singing my lines and Seungri was doing his, all I could concentrate on was his figure. My only darkness in the light, though darkness didn't necessarily mean something was bad, it was simply a representation of the absence of the opposing element. In fact, what was light without darkness? I debated with myself as I continued to bore my eyes into his body in wonder, perhaps if he would just look my way I would have an answer.

Before I could figure out the solution to this mystery, my eyes had turned back to normal allowing me to see something other than the panda body beside me and the song had ended. The limelight had turned off by one of the stage directors as I stood there clueless and blinking for the better half of our minute of applause, this wasn't how I pictured showcasing my song to the world at all. I couldn't even appreciate the cheers from the audience members because I was so hung up on my disbute of power between light and darkness, Seungri to be exact. He wasn't even supposed to be a part of the equation when it came to fame, but somehow he became all it was.

Though I had my sight back, my eyes stayed glued on Seungri's frame basking in the glory and taking many bows to the assembly eating his actions all up. It wasn't until a pair of arms wrapped around my chest securely when I finally tore my gaze away from him, turning my attention to the lady leaning against me. I felt myself cringing from the attempts at kisses as I shifted away from her, something I was so eager to return just a few minutes ago.

"You did so good!" Surah said between pecks to the cheek, clearly not taking rejection to the heart as I continued to push her away awkwardly. When she lastly managed to capture my lips with her own, I relished in the moment for just a few seconds before reopening my eyes and  instinctively zooming in on Seungri's face. 

He was looking towards us, microphone grasped tightly in both his hands as if he was going to rip it in two, and masking on a grim expression as he kept slightly nodding to himself; the way he does when he figures out the answer to a mind boggling problem. Putting one foot behind the other on his way backstage, his eyes bored into mine as he dropped his mic last minute and turned away where he got tackled by numerous of hugs from the gang coming to congratulate him. I did not miss the way his eyes lingered with mine for just a second before he submerged himself in the group hug.

"That song was for me right?" I blinked back to reality as I stared down at Surah's expectant gaze, a light smile playing at the edges of . Was the song about her? It should have been, but now I'm not too sure.

*later*

I slammed open my front door with a sneer planted permanently on my face. Surah takes break ups really harshly, something I had to learn the hard way. My poor 'little Jiyong' and guitar would never be the same....

Instead of a vacant living room for me to sulk in peace, Seungri laid taking up all possible space on the couch with his feet stretched way out in front of him with a bowl of popcorn cradled snugly in his lap. Taking note of my presence, he lifts the corn up for me to take, but I refuse kindly. Not really in the mood for food after what had happened.

"Where are the others." I asked for the sake of speaking. He puts the bowl down on the coffee table and turns until his body is facing forwards, emptying the previously occupied seats next to him as he gestured for me to sit. "They went out to get some take-out for us to celebrate."

"Oh... Why aren't you with them then?" I shredded my outer coat and tossed it on some random area on the floor to pick up later and hopped on the sofa next to him, using the extra room to unwind my aching bones (and other areas). I tried not to be interested in the boy sitting left of me and tuned in on whatever was playing on the television, but foreign english films don't help to serve as a distraction. I gave in to my weak self control to just mesmerize myself with Seungri's slight scrunch in his eyebrows as he tried to understand the words on the screen, the soft twitch in the corner of his lips every once in a while, and the steady strong breaths taken in and out that moves in time with his chest.

"...I was kind of waiting for you to come back, even though you were supposed to hang out with Surah today." He shifted his head in my direction curiously, bringing a certain roundness to his pupils. "Why aren't you, just by the way."

I in a breath and tried to make my next statement come out as uncaring as I wish I felt, I wasn't necessarily broken, just...free. So free that it scares me just to think of the possibilities, especially with Seungri sitting there right next to me. "I broke up with her" I watched has his slow intakes of air stops for just a millisecond, easily missed by the common eye, before going back to normal again. Seungri had always been a master of the poker face, so I've learned to pay attention to little details like these to read his emotions, but they still come out as blank.

"Oh... why on earth would you do that!" I was taken aback at his answer. He WANTED Surah and I to be a couple? To be honest, I've always thought he had a small disdain for the girl compared to the others. This just throws me totally off track.

"...I just didn't think she was the one I was going to spend my life with." Seungri was standing now, back turned towards me preventing view of his face. He looked as if he was having an internal warfare with himself, and maybe he was. The boy was trembling through his whole torso, voice ridged as sheets of ice when he spoke.

"I think you should go back and apologize to her." Biting my lip until it drew blood, I stood alongside him hoping to catch a glance at his intentions. It was like his head had a radar, forever moving just an inch away from sight line. I had to get into his head or I'd explode.

"Why! Why should I Seungri!"

"Because you'll regret it. Love only comes once in a life time, you shouldn't just throw it away just 'cause all of the sudden you don't feel things are right. You can't dispose everything once you're done with them Jiyong." He finally turns to look at me, reaching down and holding onto both my hands tenderly. His eyes were unreadable.

"What do you know about love Seungri." I recited, ripping my arms from his warm hold out of nothing but anger. I knew deep down that I wasn't really angry at him though, I was just frustrated that maybe everything he was saying would be true. How come being with her felt so wrong all of the sudden? Like someone was always one step behind me ready to catch up if I'd only learn to slow down. 

"A lot more than you'd think." Spinning on his heels, he walked out of the room towards the back door. I kept yelling after him to stop, cries ignored as he got ready to climb the ladder of my rarely used tree house in my yard. Not letting him get that far, I yanked him down the rope until he was on the grass bed once again, tears had covered his brown eyes and trickled down to his screaming lungs as he thrashed at my grip urging me slip hold of him.

"Stop running away from your problems to this damn tree house!"

"Let go of me!" Even if I was two years older, he was definitely growing up to be the stronger one. However I just tightened my grip.

"Never." More useless attempts to break free followed after, but even Seungri's prideful attitude knew it was a losing battle. His will slackened as well as my grasp, but he didn't bother to make use of the opportunity to leave. Through the red stained salt water, he stared back at me as we came to a silent agreement to try and understand each other, though it would forever be an impossible feat.

"Do... Do you love someone Seungri?" I saw him jut his head down that was enough for me to classify it as a nod, his actions said it all really; something I will never allow myself to fully acknowledge.

"O-oh... That's..." horrible, unacceptable, you're not supposed to fall in love yet! You're not supposed to grow up and too big for my lanky arms to wrap around, going off to search for someone who could support your needs and love you more than I will ever. If that was possible, that is.

"...cool." I ended pathetically, arm dropping back down to my side as my weak grip on his hand had finally fallen. He massaged his red wrist from my iron grip as we gazed upon each other, Seungri loved someone, and I had the oddest sensation of feeling I had lost. People tend to not appreciate the things laid out in front of them until they disappear, and somehow I was a victim to that. Would I ever be able to look at him the same while knowing that his heart was taken by someone whom I already knew was unworthy? That's me, always trying to hold on too tight when the other just wanted to push away.

Does she look at him the way I have? Memorizing the words he says and the way he moves?

Does she know him the way I do, being the only one who can truely understand the hardships and memories that has made him the way he was today?

Does she treat him the way I would, showering him with love as we would write songs together by moonlight?

Does she love him the way I could? No, I doubt it.

But it really doesn't matter how much I had unintentionally molded to accomadate and compliment him in every way, that our paths were so predetermined leaving us no choice but to be destined for each other. I played my cards wrong, and lost.

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Sometimes I wish Seungri could have been more specific, it would have saved a whole lot of pain, hurt, and drama. Each scar causing me to fall deeper in love with him.

A/N: So much editing with this one, and even then it isn't all that spectacular. Hopefully it's not confusing to look at considering I wrote it when I had a pile of homework and was desperately sick. Did you guys get the chance to see the new teasers for 'monster' by Big Bang? *dies*