Sehun never realized how empty the bed was with only one person. How big the kitchen was when he cooked by himself. How quiet the living room was when there was no one to laugh with.

            Sehun didn’t move on.

            Luhan had been only 54. It had been two weeks after his birthday.

            Sehun always regretted not telling Luhan those last words.

            There was so much he could’ve done. He could’ve been so much better.

            Luhan was Sehun’s greatest sin.

            Not long after Luhan’s death, Sehun quit his job and moved to the suburbs, buying a house there. He went back to the city once, for Luhan’s funeral, and vowed to never go back again.

            He broke that vow to visit Baekhyun.

            And now he was here.

            “Remember that last time we saw him?”

            “Yeah. I remember.”

            Yixing was the one person who could start to understand Sehun. He had been there the whole time with him; he had seen the same thing that the younger had.

            But no one could fill Luhan’s place. Sehun looked at Chanyeol, and knew how the latter felt.

            It was like there was a hole in his heart. From it flowed his self; his feelings, his everything. He could clutch at it in an attempt to stop them from escaping, but it would be in vain. It wasn’t possible.

            There was nothing they could do except live with it.

            Jongin still blamed himself for Luhan’s car accident; no matter how many times Sehun reassured him that it wasn’t his fault. And he knew that nothing would make Jongin feel less guilty.

            After everyone left that night, Sehun locked the door and went upstairs to his room. The locket was still in his hand, he set it gently on the bedside table before going to sleep.

            Sehun wasn’t someone who dreamed very often, and most of the time, his dreams would have actually been reality, and he had just been half-asleep.

            When Sehun woke up to see Luhan standing next to his bed, he was sure it was a dream.

            “You sleep so well, Sehun-ah.”

            Sehun stared.

            Luhan was young, beautiful. His face was unlined, his hair light brown and lush. His eyes shone, and his pink lips were curved into a smile. When he turned to the side, Sehun saw that his head was devoid of any scars. His complexion was glowing, his skin perfect.

            This was the Luhan Sehun remembered. Healthy and smiling.

            “You still have the locket.”

            Luhan picked up the locket, letting the chain slide between his fingers. He opened the locket.

            “Look, Sehun-ah. It’s us.”

            Sehun wanted to tell him those words that he never got to say, but it was like something was stuck in his throat.

            “What’s wrong, Sehun-ah? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

            Sehun looked down at his hands. He saw that they were unwrinkled and smooth. He was young, like Luhan.

            “Sehun-ah?”

            Sehun wanted to tell him those words.

            “Say something.”

            Sehun gritted his teeth. Why couldn’t he say anything?

            Luhan’s fingers gripped Sehun’s chin and turned his face toward him.

            “Hey, look at me.”

            Sehun did.

            Luhan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sehun’s. Sehun gasped, feeling his throat open, air rushing in.

            “I love you, Luhan hyung. I’ve always loved you, and I always will. No matter what happens. I love you, and I regret that I didn’t tell you before you di–“

            But was Luhan dead? He was sitting right next to Sehun, looking at him with his big bunny eyes.

            Luhan’s brow furrowed.

            “Before I what?”

            Sehun smiled. “Nothing.”

            Luhan looked confused, and Sehun laughed, kissing him again. He wound his hands in Luhan’s hair, relishing the softness of the locks.

            Sometimes, Sehun couldn’t believe how beautiful Luhan was.

            They lay there, in Sehun’s bed, for the next couple of hours, sometimes kissing, sometimes talking, and sometimes just listening to each other breathe. It was enough to know that the other was right next to him. Sehun found Luhan’s hand, just like old times. Through their entwined fingers, Sehun could clearly feel Luhan’s heartbeat, strong and steady.

            “Hyung?”

            “Hm?”

            “How did you get here?”

            “What do you mean?”

            Sehun opened his mouth and closed it again, not knowing how to respond.

            “I’ve always been here.”

            “What?”

            “I’m a part of you, Sehun-ah. I’m always with you, even when it seems like I’m not.”

            Luhan leaned over and kissed him, and Sehun felt the rest of the questions dissolve under the pressure of the elder’s lips.

            Luhan sat up.

            “Let’s go on a picnic, Sehun-ah!”

            “A picnic?”

            “Remember that dream I had? The one when we were in the mountains?”

            Sehun remembered.

            “We should go to the mountains and have a picnic.”

            Sehun laughed at how simple Luhan made it sound, but a big part of him wanted to go too. So he agreed.

            Laughing, Luhan dragged him out the door, clutching his hand. They raced down the stairs like children, slipped on their shoes, and ran out the door, not a care in the world.

            The world was theirs. They could live as they wanted, because they were in love, and anything was possible when love was there.

            And this was love. This was what was being alive was like.

            “Sehun-ah! You’re mine, you know that, right?”

            Sehun smiled at Luhan.

            “I’ve always been yours.”

            “Stay with me, okay?” Luhan held out a hand. “Don’t let go.”

            Sehun took it. “I won’t.”

            “Promise?”

            “Promise.”

            They were alive, living their forever. For real this time.

A/N: THERE IS AN EPILOGUE DON'T FORGET ABOUT IT

also, blog: kpop-exotic.tumblr.com

EXO: kpop-exo-world.tumblr.com

Cross Gene (BECAUSE OMFG JUST LISTEN TO THEIR SONG /DEAD): kpop-cross-gene.tumblr.com

AND MY OTHER FIC here

omfg such shameless advertising LOL

don't forget to read the epilogue!!

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH A;LSKDFJASD;