Sehun woke up to the sound of his front doorbell being rung. Or rather, his front doorbell being pressed repetitively without any break in between the presses.

            Sehun groaned and buried his head under the pillow, hoping that whoever it was would just go away.

            The person didn’t go away. He or she kept on pressing the button. When Sehun didn’t answer, the person started banging on the door.

            “Oh Sehun! Open your door!”

            That woke Sehun up. What was Jongin doing at his front door so early in the morning?

            By the time Sehun made it downstairs to open the door, Jongin was ready to kick the thing open with his own foot.

            “What were you doing?!” Jongin’s lined face was flushed and red.

            “Sleeping. It’s 5:30in the morning, hyung. Most people are asleep at 5:30.”

            “Not Chanyeol.”

            Sehun narrowed his eyes.

            “What do you mean?”

            Jongin opened his mouth and closed it again. He looked like a fish gulping for air, but Sehun got the feeling that now wasn’t the time to make jokes.

            “What happened, hyung?”

            “Baekhyun hyung.”

            “What about Baekhyun hyung?” Sehun felt his stomach drop.

            “He…passed away.”

            Sehun turned and kicked the wall. His foot screamed in protest; Sehun forgot every once in a while that he wasn’t as young as he used to be. Limping on his unhurt foot, Sehun made his way to a nearby chair and sank into it. Jongin came in the house, shut the door, and plopped into a chair next to Sehun’s.

            “What happened?” Sehun fought to keep all emotion out of his voice.

            “He had a .”

            “Why?”

            “Something about old age and injuries. I couldn’t really understand Chanyeol hyung on the phone.”

            Chanyeol…

            “How’s Chanyeol hyung doing?”

            Jongin didn’t answer, but the look on his face was enough.

            “Where is he?”

            “In the hospital mortuary. I went to go see him right before I came to tell you. He was sitting next to the bod–next to Baekhyun.”

            “So they’ve already performed the autopsy?”

            “Yeah. They didn’t ask permission from Chanyeol though. I heard him yelling at the hospital staff. Not pretty stuff.”

            “Why didn’t they ask?”

            “Apparently the head doctor doesn’t believe in gay marriage or something.”

            Sehun stared at him.

            “Are you serious?”

            “Yup.”

            “Be right back. I’m going to go kill the head doctor.”

            Jongin laughed, despite the circumstances.

            “All right, Sehun-ah. Do what you need to do. But first, we need to go tell everyone. Like, everyone. You ready to make some calls?”

            “No.”

            “Me too.”

            Sehun pulled out his notebook where he used to keep all of his phone numbers. It had been buried in one of the many boxes that cluttered his hallways.

            Jongin coughed and tried to fan away the dust cloud that was floating in the air around them.

            “Why don’t you ever clean up?”

            “You want to do it for me?”

            “No.”

            “Well I’m not cleaning this up so.”

            Jongin rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.

            “Here’s Wu Fan hyung’s number. But it’s from ten years ago. Don’t be too surprised when it doesn’t work.” Sehun handed Jongin the tattered notebook.

            Jongin snorted. “You have no faith. Of course it’ll work.” He took a look at the number. “Okay, I take it back. That number is from more than ten years ago, definitely.”

            “Just dial.”

            The phone rung for at least five minutes before someone picked up. And that someone, to their great surprise, was none other than Wu Fan.

            “Hello?”

            “WU FAN HYUNG?!”

            “Who is this.”

            “Who do you think it is?” Jongin looked offended.

            “Oh. Hey Jongin. It’s been a while.”

            “You’re really excited, aren’t you.”

            “I’m excited!”

            “Yeah. Whatever. Either way, here’s Sehun.”

            “Wu Fan hyung?”

            “Sehun-ah! How’s it going.”

            “Not good.”

            “Why?”

            “Baekhyun hyung.”

            “What about Baekhyun?”

            “He passed away this morning.”

            There was silence.

            “Hyung?”

            “Are you serious.”

            “Yes.”

            “What the hell.”

            “Um…so are you up for a flight to South Korea?”

            There was a shattering sound on Wu Fan’s side of the phone.

            “Hyung?!”

            Wu Fan cursed. Sehun guessed that he had just thrown something at the wall.

            “Hyung, where are you living right now?”

            “Los Angeles.”

            “How soon can you get to Seoul?”

            “I’ll be on the next flight out.”

            “Okay, call us when you arrive. Do you know where everyone else is?”

            “Minseok lives in Seoulwith his wife and children and grandchildren. Same with Jongdae. Luh–Tao is in Chicago. Yixing is a retired doctor in Seoul. Why don’t you know this already?”

            “I’ve been kinda out of commission for the last twenty years.”

            “Right. Well, do you need their phone numbers?”

            “Yes.”

            Sehun handed the phone to Jongin so he could scribble down the phone numbers that Wu Fan recited. He tried to ignore the sting of tears behind his eyes. Wu Fan had almost said it. But he had stopped himself.

            Part of Sehun wished that Wu Fan had said it out loud. Maybe Sehun would be able to accept it more then.

            Jongin and Sehun spent the rest of the afternoon calling up their old friends, breaking the news about Baekhyun to them.

            Minseok, Jongdae and Yixing came right away to Sehun’s house after they received the call. They were strangers, but they weren’t. Sehun hadn’t seen or talked to them in years, but they were still familiar. Tao agreed, after crying for forty minutes, to fly to Seoulthe following morning.

            Soon after Minseok and the others arrived, Joonmyun and Kyungsoo burst in Sehun’s living room, greeting their friends with hugs, forgetting for a second about Baekhyun.

            But only a second.

            Sehun retreated into his shell more as his hyungs reminisced about the past. He knew that Jongin was attempting to steer the topics away from Luhan, but he wasn’t very successful. Luhan had been a big part of all of their lives back then.

            Eventually, Sehun couldn’t just sit there anymore, so he suggested that they go to visit Chanyeol in the hospital. They loaded up in Jongin’s and Joonmyun’s cars and drove to the hospital.

            Inside, the hospital smelled as sterile as ever. The nurse at the front desk reluctantly let them enter the mortuary; Chanyeol had to come out and yell at her until she agreed.

            Chanyeol looked like hell. Sehun could relate.

            Luhan had curled up in Sehun’s arms, sobbing for hours after he found out that he would have to undergo chemotherapy. Sehun held his tears in, knowing that they wouldn’t change anything anyway. He watched Luhan’s face as he cried; how his eyes became swollen and his nose turned red.

            But he still looked perfect to Sehun.

            Sehun mentally smacked himself for being such a cheeseball. But inside, he didn’t care anymore. He didn’t care if he was a cheeseball. He cared about Luhan. And only Luhan.

            The other members hadn’t known what to do, helplessly watching Luhan cry. Tao was the first person to break down and cry with him. Wu Fan had wrapped his arms around the younger, holding his own tears in, just barely.

            Kyungsoo and Minseok had quickly gone to the nearest store and gotten a couple gallons of ice cream for them. Luhan took a break from crying and ate an entire quart of Vanilla Swiss Almond while Sehun watched. Eating away the pain helped a little.

            But not that much.

            Eventually, the doctor came back in to tell them that visiting hours were now over, and no one would be allowed to stay overnight. Only family members would be allowed.

            Luhan begged and pleaded with the doctor for Sehun to stay, and everyone backed him up. The doctor refused and refused, but Sehun’s tears must have moved something in his supposedly existing heart, because in the end, he agreed.

            Luhan wrapped his arms around Sehun, drawing him close. Sehun let himself lean into Luhan’s chest, feeling the elder’s hair tickle his face.

            The hair that would soon be gone.

            Sehun watched as everyone filed out of the room, Yixing stopping to grip his shoulder for a second.

            When they were gone, Sehun slid into Luhan’s bed, settling himself next to the elder. Luhan snuggled into Sehun’s chest, just like old times. But they hadn’t been crying then.

            And they were now.

            “Hyung?”

            “Yeah?”

            “I love you.”

            Luhan looked up at Sehun.

            “I know.”

            They didn’t speak for a while after that, but they didn’t need to. The pressure of Luhan’s lips on Sehun’s was enough.

            Sehun broke the kiss only because there was a nagging thought in his head.

            “Do you regret anything, hyung?”

            “What do you mean? What would I have to regret?”

            “It’s your last night before you start chemotherapy.”

            “So?”

            Sehun shifted uncomfortably.

            “Sehun-ah, all I want is to be with you. And I’m with you now. I have nothing to regret.”

            “You have to have something you regret.”

            “I don’t have anything to regret, but if I did, it would be that you got stuck with me. Not anyone better.”

            Sehun buried his face in Luhan’s chest, listening to his heart beat.

            Don’t stop, Sehun mentally told Luhan’s heart, don’t stop beating.

            And for the rest of the night, Sehun didn’t stop kissing Luhan, not for anything.

             Sehun wished the next morning wouldn’t come, but it did. Luhan ignored the light filtering into the room through the window and threw the blanket over their heads, proclaiming, “It’s dark. Therefore, it is not morning.” He pulled Sehun closer and kissed him again, and Sehun didn’t resist.

            Luhan made a soft sound against Sehun’s mouth, and slipped his hands under the younger’s shirt. Sehun stiffened for a second, but relaxed as Luhan rubbed his back soothingly, in circles. Luhan pulled his face away, his eyes on Sehun’s.

            “You’re so skinny, Sehun-ah. Gain some weight. It worries hyung.” Luhan’s voice was a whisper. Sehun didn’t say anything, just pulled Luhan back so he could kiss him some more. He would never get tired of this.

            Never.

            The second visiting hours started, the rest of the members were in Luhan’s room, waiting nervously for the doctor to arrive. Sehun observed that all of them looked as if they had gotten no sleep the past night. They had bags under their swollen, puffy eyes, which gave away the fact that they had cried all night.

            The doctor entered with a couple of nurses.

            “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave for now.”

            Joonmyun stepped forward.

            “How will you be administering the chemotherapy?”

            “By IV. These nurses have the equipment, but you all much leave before they start.”

            Joonmyun swallowed, and nodded. He motioned for the rest of the members to follow him out the door. Sehun thought he saw a tear glimmer on his leader’s cheek before he turned his face.

            Before they left, Minseok turned back to Luhan.

            “We love you Luhan-ah. Be strong.” His voice choked up, and Kyungsoo put his arm around the elder, steadying him.

            Sehun wrapped his arms around Luhan, one last time.

            “I love you Luhan hyung. Don’t forget, okay?”

            Luhan hugged him back.

            “I couldn’t forget you even if I tried. I love you Sehun-ah. 恋してる.*”

            Sehun wanted to say more, but he was afraid that if he opened his mouth again, he would cry.

            So he followed his hyungs out the door.

            When the doctors and nurses shut the door behind them, Yixing was there for Sehun to lean on, while the younger squeezed his hands into fists, digging in hard enough with his nails to draw blood, reopening the scars that were already there. The scars that were already there because of Luhan.

*(not sure if this is right)

恋してる(Koieru) in Japanese is what a person says to another person that he/she want to spend the rest of his/her life with.

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR GUARDIAN ANGEL SUHO :"D

and I'M SO SO SORRY FOR KILLING BACON I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO IT JUST HAPPENED

let us all take a moment to appreciate the beauty of our bacon