JR's POV

I halfheartedly poke my noodles with the chopsticks, they are still warm and steaming, emitting a wonderful spicy scent I usually

wouldn't resist. But now- I'm not hungry at all. I don't want to eat. Plus, the sorrowful glances of my friends make me go crazy. I can't

stand it anymore.

"You guys, stop it." I call, audibly annoyed, and all of their gazes instantly avert as if they weren't just staring at me as if I was a

mentally unstable person. It's Minhyun who rises his voice first while Aron and Baekho pretend being busy eating.

"JR, I know there's something bugging you, and I think it'd be better for all of us if you just spill it." His eyes have a pleading look in

them, and if I see it right, there's also desperation. I look away, unable to withstand his glance. They should just stop giving me those

looks.

"Since when do we talk about stuff like that?" I try to avoid the topic, chuckling artificially. But Minhyun won't give in that easily, he's not

one to be distracted just like that. And I know the other two are just as curious as he is.

"Since we stopped beating the crap out of others." He shortly states, moving on "Hyung, you can tell us. Judging from your behavior, it

must be serious, so don't deal with it on your own again." He gives me a look a father would give his son while lecturing him. I feel like

I've underestimated them and our relationship. They care for me so much, how couldn't I tell them?

"Aish..." I riffle my hair, looking down at my noodles, then shoving them towards Baekho.  "I'm not hungry at all, so you eat them." He

can't reply due to his full mouth. Minhyun is about to go on lecturing me when I stop him with a slight hand movement.

"Okay, okay. I'll spill it. You just keep on eating." Content, Minhyun does as I said and joins Aron and Baekho. I take a deep breath to

make the words come out easier. "Ren and I- we broke up."

"Mwo?!" Three pairs of eyes widen and muffled exclamations of disbelief can be heard. Baekho forces the food down, swallowing

quickly.

"For real?! But why!" He exclaims, his mouth still half filled, and I let out yet another sigh. Here goes the story telling again.

When I finish, a heavy silence surrounds us, no one asks the question Vani asked- which makes me glad. I actually gave it a lot of

thought after she left, but I still can't come up with a decent answer. Why, indeed, didn't I ask Ren about his feelings? Was I afraid to

hear it directly from his mouth? I don't know. Yes. No. Maybe.

"JR, we're sorry." Aron finally says, but those words are meaningless and we all know it. All that matters is that he's gone.

"I'm sorry, too." I mumble, not hearable to anyone but me. Before the atmosphere gets even more depressing, I address Baekho. "How

are things with Vani going?" At the mentioning of her name, his expression brightens.

"Great! She cooks for me a lot recently, saying she needs more practice. I don't think so though, you tasted her food before right? Well

we're going to have a sleepover soon, and if you want to come..." He trails off, realizing that all those lovey-dovey stories he tells me

don't help to brighten the mood. In contrary. I want to be like that with Ren, too. Aron clears his throat, giving it another try.

"Well, I'll be going to LA soon, seeing my family and stuff..." And so they start telling me about future plans, their daily lives and trivial

things like that, trying to make me think of anything but Ren, which fails. I'm thankful though. They're doing the best they can. So I

force a smile here and there, and as I do, their smiles become more frequent as well. We soon leave the restaurant, strolling around a

bit before saying our goodbyes. When I return home, I do feel slightly better. The night, however, ruins it all- for dreams of Ren haunt

me even in my sleep.

I'm following somebody, his hair blond and silky, figure thin. He isn't running, I could easily catch up to him, but somehow my legs won't

move faster. And he keeps walking further and further away from me, until he vanishes in the darkness without leaving a trace. My

hand freezes in one position, reaching out to him, unable to grasp him.

(...)

The feeling of his fingertips touching my skin gives me goose bumps. He's all over me, yet I can't see his face, only taste his lips. And

damn sure, that's enough. I pull him closer, he doesn't resist, and even with my shirt on I feel his fingers grazing over my chest,

causing my heart to beat even faster. So fast that he must notice. I hear his cute giggle.

"JR hyung." He says, and my lips curl up.

"Neh?" His hands find my cheeks, then move on to caress my hair, as he demands:

"Kiss me again." I chuckle happily, giving in to his wish. My lips taste his, and the tingling sensation creeping over my body feels so

right. As our lips part, I see his face for the first time, eyes twinkling, and I realize just how much this boy means to me.

"I love you hyung." He whispers into my ear, it's the last thing I hear before waking up.

An unbelievable pain stabs through my heart. Ren, I miss you so much.

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Aaaaand finally chapter 30 and it is- and ugly filler. I'm sorry~ I won't let Ren speak with his mom yet, keke. ♥