Ren's POV

 

I'm sitting near the bus stop, waiting. For the first time in a while I do what I normally did, back when JR hadn't stepped into my life yet.

Blending everything around me out, I don't need to think about trivial things - like love. The pain is bearable this way. But still, I couldn't

help but call Zelo to come and console me. In terrible need of a person to talk, he was the first one I thought of. I have to laugh at my

own pitiful behavior, this is so unlike me. I don't know anymore.

 

"What are you laughing at all by yourself?" My head shots up, spotting Zelo, the usual smile plastered on his lips. But is it just me or is

there something different mixed in his expression? He looks- worn out, somehow. Tired. And sad.

 

"It's nothing." I say, averting my gaze so that I don't have to see him like that. He's supposed to be bubbly and cheerful. The opposite

of me. Zelo sits down beside me, and immediately, I feel a bit better. I'm sure he'll listen to my stupid love talk. Zelo glances at me,

sighs, and gives me a poke with his elbow.

 

"If it's nothing, you wouldn't have called. I'm glad you did though." He places his chin on his hands. His sensitive words make my lips

curl up a little.

 

"You're right. How come you know me that well?" I ask, teasingly, but Zelo sounds strangely serious answering.

 

"It's because we are very much alike." Awkward silence follows. Alike? How are we alike? I'm nothing like you, even though I wish I

were. Zelo clears his throat to break the awkward moment.

 

"Then- tell me what bugs you." I don't need to be asked twice. Before he can say anything else, all my sorrows and fears flow out of my

mouth. I tell him about the past days- the days I spent mostly without JR, and I wonder why. I'd love to seek his closeness, but

something keeps me away from him, something that works the other way around, too. I miss the clingy JR I knew. Is it my fault? I keep

searching my memories  for any inappropriate behavior towards him, yet every time I do, I end up finding nothing. It drags me even

deeper into desperation. When was the last time we kissed? Does JR still love me as much as I love him? A small voice inside me tells

me that he doesn't. Look at you, Ren. You're not real. How could anyone possibly love you? How, indeed? My head sinks onto my

knees and soon, quiet sobs make my body shiver. Then, arms wrap around me, warm and consoling. I don't care about the people who

give us weird glances. I'm just so incredibly thankful towards Zelo, just for being there for me. Because I don't know who else would be

anymore.

 

 

JR's POV

 

I'm back on my way home, another day, another failure. Ren- no matter how hard I try, I won't get him out of my mind.  Nevertheless, it's

the easiest at work. Familiar surroundings but strange people, never alone and always some costumer or co-worker to talk to. Yup,

that's the easiest way to clear my thoughts of Ren. It never works completely.

 

I stroll through the already darkening streets, not wanting to enter my apartment, not wanting to see Ren without being able to touch

him. He keeps his distance, I keep mine. And I don't even know why exactly. We somehow live our separate lives. The bad thing is, that

even when Ren's not home, there are so many traces of him left in the apartment. Like, clothes scattered on the floor, his blanket on

the sofa (where he would insist to sleep, though I want him to take the bed), and worst of all, his scent. His sweet scent I'm sure he

himself doesn't even know of, but it trails through all the rooms, from the bedroom to the living room to the bath.

 

With hanging shoulders and my head lowered, I continue my way home, expecting nothing bad. How wrong I was. Suddenly, a hand

grabs my arm, tightly, so tight I couldn't even get out if I tried to. And I'm not a weak person. Prepared for anything, a group of drunk

guys or even just one guy seeking trouble, I turn around. I actually do feel like beating up someone. I thought those times were over.

But now, with Ren's influence slowly fading away, it seems like this side of me returns step by step. However, spotting the blond hair of

my counterpart, I hold back. This is not the one from last time, yet I know immediately that they are related to each other. In some way I

don't like. Related to Ren as well. The stranger raises his voice, deep and husky. Intimidating.

 

"We need to talk." he says, grabbing onto my arm even tighter. I don't let him notice, at least something I'm good at.

 

"Do we?" I spit back at him, obviously trying to offend him, but the stranger stays surprisingly calm, despite his tough looks. Without

even batting an eye, he keeps his stare on me.

 

"It concerns Ren's well being. So it concerns you." Ouch, that hit. Exposed my weak point in a second. I sigh, shoving his hand away.

 

"Okay okay, I get it." I then follow him, casually, calmly, still keeping my guard up. Who knows, I never trusted strangers, not even if they

know Ren. After a short silence, it's him who starts speaking.

 

"Our Ren currently feels- miserable. And we know that you-" He points at me as if I wouldn't know  "are the reason for it." I shrug,

playing the unknowing. His lips twist angrily. He must be very close to Ren then, huh? I don't like the way he calls him 'their' Ren

though. It sounds wrong.

 

"And how is it my fault, in your opinion?"

 

"He told us. That he can't stand living with you anymore. That he suffers every time he sees you. That you broke him." Hearing those

words makes me clench my fists. Is that so? Would he tell them that much, whilst not telling me one bit? He could've talked to me,

right? I act as if it doesn't concern me, keeping my expression as blank as possible, but I know I'm not good at it. Probably I'm just

angrily staring into nothingness right now.

 

"And do you know why he feels that way?" I don't and I don't want to hear it. But I stay quiet. Because secretly, the part that wants to

know is stronger.

 

"He said you've changed. You've changed so much-" He takes a deep breath, suddenly stopping and turning me around to face him,

now I have to look at his bitter expression, his clenched teeth, his furious eyes. "So much that his feelings for you are gone." It takes

me a long, painful while to get the meaning behind his statement. Does that mean, after all this time, Ren doesn't...?

 

"He doesn't love you anymore." My body stiffens, my mouth slightly opens, but my inside is rampaging. This blond guy just told me that

the one I love so much doesn't love me back anymore. And that it's all my fault. I shouldn't have stayed away from him, I should've

hugged him as always, should've talked to him-

 

"It..can't..be." I splutter, and suddenly, I feel the need to deny - deny everything. "This can't be true! If it was, he'd have told me! I know

him!" The stranger pushes me away, I stumble backwards before regaining my balance, still unable to move how I want.

 

"It is the truth! Of course he wouldn't tell you! He knows how much you love him, and he's afraid of your reaction!" He examines me

from head to toe before spitting on the ground before me.

 

"Seeing you, I understand very well why!" I approach him with two large steps, hustling him against a wall. I just want to let my anger

take over. My anger and my depression and everything else- it has to be released. Now. Soon, my fists find their way, but the blond is

more agile than I had expected. He puts up a pretty good fight, landing numerous hits on me, but my lips curl up upon striking him as

well.

 

Soon, we both are left breathless, panting heavily as we gasp for air, out of energy. I still glare at him. He responds to my glare in the

same, fierce way. Once he more or less regained his breath, he whispers:

 

"All I want from you is to break up with him." The sentence darkens my mood even more, it is as if it takes away my last bit of breath,

squeezing my lungs empty.

 

"Why should I, just because you said it?" I snarl, trying to  stand straight again. I wouldn't give in to someone like him, randomly

approaching me and placing demands. Still, his next declaration shatters all of my confidence and determination.

 

"Because it's the best for Ren. And you know it too well." With that being said, he turns to walk away, still weak on his legs from the

fight, but it looks like the countless bruises don't even bother him. Only know I'm being consumed by the pain, physical pain as well as

the pain inside my chest, and I sink onto the cold, stony ground, whining and shivering, being so unlike me. A total wimp. I'm so damn

pitiful.

 

 

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Don't.. kill me for what happens next D:   It's all planned out and I promise there'll be a happy end.

Also, I apologize. I wanted to update more often, and this is all I can do. Whyyyyy is this so hard?! I hope the next few chapters will be written more easily.

 

Ah, and a lot of you seem to be mad at JR xD Please try to understand him a bit~ (though... I'm with you xD). He's having it hard, too.

And he's talking to Yongguk btw, but I think you figured already :3

 

Lots of love and thanks for the encouraging comments~