I awkwardly broke eye contact with her. Jess coughed awkwardly and we hastily untangled ourselves.

Sica and I sat down on the couch. We didn't say anything, her hand still holding mine. I could feel her warmth of her body flood into me. I sat there silently and let her words slowly sink in. I thought about my relationship with Yuri. Abou my life when I was with her. She was great, nothing less of amazing... But maybe Jess was right.

The moment I fell for Yuri, she became my world. My life was consumed by Kwon Yuri without either of our knowledge. And after reevaluating it, to no extent was it a healthy relationship in any demeanor. I mean, I wanted to be with her every moment of the day, every second possible. I wanted her to be in my arms, where I could protect her. Now that  I think about it,  all of it was like an unhealthy obsession manifested itself in my love for her.

Now that I think about it... It's kind of a miracle we stayed together for eight months at the very least. I must have been suffocating her, not even sparing her a second to breathe. With my presence, with my so-called love. She must have been struggling for freedom. I guess Nichkhun hyung was that ticket to freedom she was chasing.

Maybe I did need to find my anchor. No, I do need to find an anchor. We can't anchor ourselves to others because in this world, people come and go. That's life and the only thing we can do is try to play a game of tug-o-war with fate, as threads of relationships are torn from us. Jessi was right.

"Jess, you're right. I need to find an anchor. I may be heartbroken now, but it'll heal with time. So don't be mad at Yuri. If anything, I should apologize to her..." I told Jessica, without me knowing, my body acted on it's own accord. Before I realized, my free hand was caressing her cheek. I don't know what was running through my mind, but I kissed her.

I could feel Jessica's body freeze up with shock before she quickly shoved me off her. With a swift slap to the face I came back to my senses. We both had horrified looks on our faces was to say the least.

"Jessica, I'm so sorry... I don't know what came over me... I think I should just leave... " I rambled, almost incoherently. I bowed deeply to Jessica's frozen figure. I held my head low, as I clumsily walked to the door. God, you're such a Kim ________. What the hell were you thinking. Right, you weren’t thinking Pabo!

Just as I reached for the doorknob, I felt arms envelop my body tightly. The occurrences within the past five minutes had me lost and my mind trying to make sense of it all. All in all, everything was unexpected. This intimate interaction with Jessi, what did it mean?

"Whatever you do oppa, stay strong. Find your anchor...and when you're ready come back," She spoke softly but firmly, her head resting perfectly on my back between my shoulder blades. She gave my body a tight squeeze before letting go.

I didn't really know what to make of her cryptic message. The words were blatantly said but was there a hidden meaning behind them? Without another word, I opened the door and left the building just as a ghost would.

Just as Jessica told me, I began to search for my anchor. My mental and emotional stability. From that day on, I hadn't heard anything from Yuri or hyung. I never bothered to contact the two. Whatever their reasons were, I decided to respect it. Days became weeks and soon enough those weeks became months. Before I knew it, my journey turned into years. Just like I thought, the feelings and heartbreak faded away and all that remained were the sweet memories we had together. And all I could was be thankful.

I became enthralled with music. To become an artist, not an idol. I started composing and producing songs. It became my joy. It was thanks to Yuri and hyung that all of this was possible. I wouldn't be here if it was for them.

But most of all, I had Jessi and Tae to thank. Jessi sent me down the right path to find my anchor. And though all this time, I had Tae by my side, day in and day out. She was there. As a fellow artist she was there for me, providing criticism and advice to allow growth. Taeyeon became my best friend, my most trusted and loved companion. Who knows where this will go, I mean we’re both young, right?