Regress

Driven To Despair

Two weeks had gone by since the day L held the funeral. He did come to school and was given less work to do because of his crippled state, but nothing helped him. Once he had lost Suzy's support, his friends also withdrew. They all went towards Suzy's side, asking her to date them or asking if she was fine. When they thought L wasn't listening, they would call him "jerk face" or "stupid guy." The harsh comments made from his former friends caused scars deep in his heart, and he was left with almost nothing.

The girls weren't sure of what to do. They had to choice of supporting L and holding up a new popularity contest between Suzy and L, or they could just leave like L's "friends." Things had ultimately changed with Suzy's buddies backed her up and gave L harsh comments and scoldings for hurting their dear friend. When the girls saw this, they also left and went back to admiring Suzy. His social life had already became a burden, but he wasn't surprised. He knew that if he had lost Suzy, he would lose everything else. 

When a sunny Saturday came, L was starting to pack up his belongings. He borrowed the large boxes from his father's company, who were eager to help him out. However, L had rejected their helped and said that he was fine on his own. Now that he had lost everything, he had to do everything on his on. No more help, no more stealing. When he was going to move out of the house in two weeks, he promised himself to start a new life of being the perfect child.

"Myungsoo?" Krystal called from behind. L whirled around and gave Krystal a blank look. Then, he turned back and gave her a cold shoulder, ignoring her presence and continued to pack. The quiet woman crept besides him, and also began to drop the stacks of book into a small brown box.

"Hey." L turned his head, and found Minho approaching him, too. However, Minho had a tight expression on his face as if he didn't want to do this, but was forced to help. L, too, ignored him and stood up from his spot. He glanced around and wondered how they had gotten into the house, but realized that his door was open.

"Ah shoot. When was the door open?" L muttered to himself. He sighed and ran his fingers through his messy brown hair. "What are you two doing here?"

"Helping you pack," Krystal replied. "There's no way that you can pack everything in two weeks. I mean look at all of this. Most of these are glass, and they're going to need to be handled with care."

"Leave that alone, then. I'm only bringing stuff I can carry," L told her.

"Man, you're bringing this junk?" Minho asked, raising a sweater. When he shook it around the air, a small picture slipped out of the pockets. Minho was about to pick it up, but L's swift movements took away the photograph before Minho was able to take a glance. Minho looked up and gave him a strange frown, but L smoothly stood up with a straight posture.

"Don't touch this," L snapped. Minho blinked his eyes innocently, then shrugged his shoulders.

"Cool down, man. You're becoming hot-headed all of the sudden," Minho told him.

"I don't need you to tell me anything."

Minho gave him a dirty look. "Hey, I'm trying to help you--"

"Did I ask for help?" L questioned.

"You-- You know what? You're a jerk. A complete jerk, if you ask me. When someone reaches a hand out, you grab it. No matter where you are, you grab it. Even if you're going to be pulled down, you grab it. Why? Because there's at least that one person who reached for your hand to be next to you wherever you are. We're offering you our help. Why don't you accept it?" Minho shouted, raising his voice. He was fed up and tired of L's coward-like acts. What was there to fear? Wasn't it over? 

"I'm not a coward, nor am I a jerk. You guys just don't understand the situation. Think about it. What if you stopped existing in this world? What would your parents think? They wouldn't think. Why? Because they're broken into tiny pieces of nothing. All they are going to do is cry if you stopped living, and nothing but regret and guilt will swell up their minds."

"But you're not an adult!" Minho blurted. "You're still a child!"

Silence enveloped the air. L stood still, but his clenched fist loosened. His skin paled like faded ink, and all he could do was stare at Minho. When he tried to talk back, his lips only trembled and not a sound slipped out of his mouth. Krystal cautiously approached L, and rested her hand on his shoulder. However, L quickly pushed away her hand and gave her a cold glare. His eyes were filled with tear, and if he glared any harder than he wanted to, tears would just spill.

"Shut up and leave me alone," L hissed. "No one needed your advice anyways."

Just when L turned his body, Krystal's words stopped him for a brief moment. "There are people out here who cares, Myungsoo! Like me! I'm always open to new roads and choices! After all, we're somehow related."

"And how the heck are we related?" L snapped.

"You have no parents, I don't consider mine as my parents. Myungsoo, from the first moment we met, we were both alone. I know you might be holding a grudge against Kai right now, but you might want to see his perspective. Maybe he's sick or ill. Maybe he doesn't know how to express himself clearly anymore. Since he returned--"

"So he responds by killing my parents?" L turned his body and gave Krystal a horrified expression. "Krystal, are you siding with the man who murdered my parents? my life?"

"N-No! That's not what I'm saying! I'm just saying… Well, maybe he's a little depressed and--"

"And how would you know such a thing?" L yelled.

Krystal gave him a hard glare. "I know because when you weren't there for me, who else was I supposed to lean against? No one! When people bullied me, no one approached to save me! Instead, I had Minho to save me and I'm burdening him. When Suzy threw that book and made my knee bleed, I looked around for a hand to reach.  I saw you, but you didn't look at me. No, you only laughed, Kim Myungsoo. You laughed and you laughed your hardest. Maybe people thought that I was pathetic, and I truly believed those words, too. Strangers all around me would just point and curse at me, and I could only cry alone in my room. And when I did, guess what? There was Jessica, who just barged into my room and kicked me, screaming 'Stop crying, you cry baby! Learn to be more independent!'

What support did I have? None! From being bullied to having parents were scream at each other every time they meet, what was I supposed to do? All I wanted was a buddy, and Kai brought you and me together. The three of us, although different now, was the same before. We were all lonely, and we just wanted someone to be there for us. Why couldn't you be more like a man, Myungsoo? I have parents who hate my existence, a sister who thinks I'm just another burden, and I have no friends. None. I don't have anyone."

Minho stared at Krystal for a long time. He grimaced at her last few sentences. Although Krystal didn't see it, she did have support. She had him, for one, but she also had her parents and her sister, who stuck together like a "family" just to fulfill her desire of having a mother, a father, and a sibling.

Is that what you think, Krystal? Is that what you always thought about your life? Minho wondered.

L laughed bitterly. "You have no one? You have everyone! You just keep on thinking about yourself! You're selfish! Selfish, I tell you! You're spoiled. Look at me now. I have no parents, no friends, and no life!" He paused to take a breath of air. "Out. All of you. Out."

"L--"

"I said out, Minho! You too, Krystal. All of you, out!" L demanded. His forceful words didn't need to be repeated thrice. Krystal had fled the scene, too scared to face the fearful L. Minho had followed, but immediately regretted it since he wished to punch L's face before taking off.

What the three didn't know was that there was a young man standing close enough to here the three's conversation. Kai smirked, and took out a photo of him when he was just a child. There was little Krystal being pushed in the mud by young Kai, and L was the one who had taken the picture with his new camera. Kai laughed softly, and ran his fingers across the old picture.

"Krystal is burdening Minho? I guess I have no choice," Kai whispered. "I'll get rid of him for ya, Krystal. That way, you won't feel burdened. I'll get rid of him for ya, L. I know how much you dislike him." He paused, and glanced at the frog-eyed boy with mischief marked on his face. "Maybe you'd think twice about changing your life, Choi Minho."

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
500sunny500
3/24: The sequel to "Driven to Despair" is here! Check out the foreword. ^^

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
500sunny500
#1
Chapter 31: @affexions: Because sometimes, life is unfair and lets the cruel people strive ;_; Glad you still took the time to read this story even though you already read the spoiler! I really appreciate it. ^_^
affexions
#2
Chapter 31: and kai is 'sick'
gosshh how can he still alive after what he done?
affexions
#3
Chapter 31: waaah!! i'm speechless!!! this story is really great! even though i saw the big spoiler here but i still read it ;)
i cant stop reading it.. great job authornim^^
500sunny500
#4
@wolkefunf: LOL XD Yeah, there's a bunch of spoilers in the comment section now (unfortunately). I'll leave a warning about the comment section in my foreword for my future readers. Haha, sorry about that! >_<;; If you want to continue, you can. I won't force you or anything. :P
500sunny500
#5
@bestintan: I hope you enjoyed the story, even though I killed Krystal in the story >_<;;
bestintan
#6
Chapter 32: My Krystal Jung :"(
500sunny500
#7
@FathAnnaA: Unfortunately, yes, Krystal died… >_<;; But she's kind of avenged in the sequel… with a lot more deaths… O_O
FathAnnaA #8
Chapter 32: Did I just...read a fanfic where my baby ing died??? SHE JUST ING DIED. I'm sure I have some good critique but they're not coming out of me right now because my BABY DIED. Gimme a moment...
500sunny500
#9
@xoojungah: Sweet! ^_^ I kind of wish that I gave Minho more character, but it's still in of my favorites. :)
xoojungah #10
i love minhoxkrystalxmyungsoo fanfiction as always!!!