We all lose our way at some point in time. The key is for the people who care for you to listen to your song of despair and let them guide you back home wherever that may be.

Saturday 28 December 2019

I am a doctor. A long time ago, I made it my personal business to save human lives regardless of their background, the circumstances of what brought them to me, and who they were. Lawyers or janitors, men or women, children or adults, criminals or pillars of society, family or strangers, it was my responsibility to rescue them from death's tenacious claws. Throughout my career, I witnessed the damaging effect of disease that dragged out too long, wounds that went untreated, and mental illnesses that were never identified or acknowledged. For the ones suffering, finding relief had no price, more often than not pushing them out of their comfort zone. I met a lot of lost souls that gravitated around stable ones, stronger and more stubborn.

So, Lee Jungyeop’s phone call tonight announcing that one of his lost souls was at a point of no return did not surprise me. No explanation needed to be given. I knew my marching orders: save the innocents, put back together the broken bodies, provide a path to the lost ones. For my long time friend, I got in my car right away, leaving my wife and children in our sanctuary, where the ugliness of the world was kept at a safe distance.

In 30 minutes, I found myself knocking at the door of the house I was directed to go to. It opened to unveil Kim Myungsoo a.k.a L, the stoic and poker-faced visual of INFINITE whose dishevelled appearance made him somehow more human than any of the other times I had seen him. Without a word, he led me to the living room where a young man laid seemingly sleeping on the couch.

"Please help him." The visual implored.

Approaching the one and only Lee Sungjong, I was not certain he was still alive.

"What happened to him?" I had taken care of him years ago after a party when he had made one too many cuts, when he engraved the name of his ex-lover on his fair skin, but his pale skin and the lack of blood indicated Sungjong had chosen another way to make himself suffer.

"He went for a swim and drowned... accidently." He added as an afterthought. I did not question. That was not my job. Kneeling on the floor, I removed the blanket covering the singer, and saw the fresh cutting lines their CEO and their leader had warned me about. A small smile graced through my face when I recalled Sunggyu yelling at me to literally fly to their maknae’s beach house or else I will suffer from a long and traumatic death. After 30 minutes of breaking the law, or shall we call it over-speeding, I came here expecting to stitch and instead I was looking at draining lungs filled with salt water.

"I already practiced CPR on him for 10 minutes. He puked a lot of water."

"I can see that." I cut in. "That's what probably saved his life."

Crossing the living room to the fireplace, the visual turned his back on me and stared at the fire that was starting to intensify.

"Did I?"

I ignored his rhetorical question and proceeded with my examination. "His pulse is good. His heart is beating strongly. He is a fighter."

Myungsoo turned around angrily. "A fighter, you say! He is a quitter. That's what he is." Kneeling beside me, he clasped the singer's frail hand in his. "You tell me what you hoped to accomplish by leaving me behind." As repentance for his outburst, he gently removed wet strands of hair from Sungjong's face and kissed his unresponsive hand.

With tears in his eyes, he faced me again. "Please help him."

I sighed. "You already did all the work, Myungsoo. I checked for spinal injury and neck injury, and he seems fine. If we take him to the hospital …"

"No, no hospitals. His career would not survive." He interrupted. "I know he will be fine physically…" Suddenly at a loss for words, he intently stared at his former partner.

"The rest is up to him." I stated. "There are support programs available to him. Medications may help as well."

"Unfortunately, I know these too well. If he starts taking them, it will be a life sentence." He said with disgust.

"What makes you think he is not in treatment already?" Myungsoo's shifted his gaze towards me searching for the information he did not have.

"The bigger question is whether he is following it or not." I continued. I empathized with the visual's internal struggle silently raging, my work as a physician was done even before it began. Picking up my sorry excuse of a body from the floor, I needed to buy some time to ensure this tumultuous pair was going to be ok. "Let me see what we have in the kitchen. Some tea perhaps?" The upscale kitchen did not offer anything at all. Apparently, the international star did not plan on staying here for long.

"Sorry, Myungsoo, there is nothing."

He ignored me. "He talked a little bit when I revived him but he was incoherent. He passed out almost right away." From a man who was better known for his reclusive tendencies and a past full of betrayal and tragedy, I could sense his anxious call for reassurance. Swallowing an invisible lump, he pressed on. "Do you know when he will wake up?"

"Right now, he needs rest. I would advise moving him to the bedroom so he can be more comfortable. When he wakes up, he should eat and drink. I will call Jungyeop-shii to give him a report and ask him to take care of what Sungjong needs."

I motioned Yuki-san to pick up the singer. Seeing how thin Sungjong was, I did not think it would be too much of a task. Complying, the visual hugged the frail body of his former partner with his strong arms and with great care moved him to the master bedroom with me in tow. The covers pulled up to his chin, he looked so fragile that if he was one of my kids, I would probably hold his hand just to make sure he did not disappear. Obviously, this was not my hand to hold and Myungsoo was doing a fine job on his own.

"All right, Myungsoo. I am no longer needed here. Please make sure to keep him hydrated and fed. When he wakes up, give him this." I placed a bottle of painkillers on the night table. "They are safe so don't worry. Drugs are not his addiction of choice." I then fished out of my bag a set of bandages. "He will also need this."

"Why?" He questioned with a dark undertone.

"Sungjong needs a lot of care and right now, denial is not one of the ingredients in his recovery. You stripped him down so you saw the cuts. You can even saw your own name engraved on his left arm. Some of them have reopened and they will need attention."

"You seem to know a lot about him." He said in defeat.

"I let his body speak to me. You are the one who knows his heart."

"Thank you, doctor." The visual emotionally whispered; a rare thing that happens since their maknae’s sudden departure. Pulling up the armchair to sit by Sungjong's side, he went back to his contemplation of how they got to this point.

Stepping out once more in the cold winter night, I had to wonder how people could get so lost that they would resort to such an extent to harm themselves. Genuine concern and devoted love were exactly what the singer needed, and if Myungsoo could forget the why's and the how's, Sungjong may have a chance at life. By relying on the people who loved him and letting them support him, he may find his way back and share a little piece of happiness. The way I saw it, Sungjong took a side road that confused him. In his heart, he knew he should not be there but he did not know his way back. His senses were jammed leaving him absolutely helpless. His giving nature pushed the people he loved away for fear of dragging them down with him.

But now… Now, he did not have a choice. The visual had found him in the pit of darkness and he would not let him go… until the lost soul finds its way home.

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well, it's been a long time since I've updated this fic...

I have been busy lately with school and stuff...

so sorry if i don't have time to update this...

I currently have 3 different offices in our school and organization plus I am preparing for an aptitude test for medicine...

also, i am having a research paper about some abalone, which added to my workload...

btw, credits to the owner of the picture...

bye for now... and please leave some comments...