Right now, I could not bring myself to feel any compassion for Jongie either. Why should I when he was the one that abandoned us and betrayed our group. Whatever L's fears were about, I could not wrap my mind on why it was so important that we had to drive in the dead of the winter at such a late hour. After all these years with Myungsoo, it was time for me to take a stand. What was in the past should remain there. Even if WooGyu would narrate all the hardships Sungjong experienced alone, I don’t know whether if I can make a change of heart. I know I am being hard towards our maknae but I intended it to be like this. Only this time, I will be selfish and as long as I can, I will fight for what was supposed to be mine. The love story of our maknae and our visual was only a history now and it should remain that way.

"Look." I started. "It makes no sense. Let's go back to our CEO’s house and sleep on it. If tomorrow, you are still worried, we will drive to his beach house."

"He needs me now. I am not turning back," said my lover sternly.

"L, he did not need you six years ago and he does not need you now."

"You have no idea what you are talking about. You don't know how he was the night before he left."

"No, I don't know because you did not tell me and even if you want to tell I won’t listen to it. Even if it was Sunggyu-hyung, Woohyun-hyung,  Dongwoo-hyung, Hoya-hyung, our manager or our CEO that would tell me, I don’t care. It was Sungjong’s choice to keep it to himself and I prefer it that way. If he doesn’t want our support or sympathy in this matter then why should I bother? But let me tell you what I know. He cheated on you with Go Youngwook. He left you without telling you he was breaking up. Stop chasing after what you thought you had and start taking care of what you have."

"What I have?" He snarled. "You, you mean."

"Yes, me. I have been by your side for five years. I did not abandon you. I did not make demands."

"No, you did not … out loud." That shut me up.

"Where is his ring?"Myungsoo suddenly asked.

"What?"

"You heard me, Yeollie-hyung. Where is his ring? I know you have done something with it. What did you do with it?"

The ring of his cell phone saved me from answering. "Hoya-hyung. Yes. No. I am driving to his beach house right now. Our CEO and Sunggyu-hyung helped him buy it. About one hour away. I will call you when I see him. Ok." Shaking his head, my lover gave a long and frustrated sigh at the same time taking something out from his pocket. From that conversation, I could tell everyone was in a state of high alert once again for Sungjong.

"He has not answered his phone all day. His parents contacted Hoya-hyung and Dongwoo-hyung. They are suspicious and worried about their son." The visual offered as an explanation. Shaking again his head, he put down his phone and the paper that looked like a picture of him and Sungjong at a party. Curiosity kills the cat.

Anger quickly consumed me. "Figures." I snapped. "God damn it, Myungsoo! When is everybody going to stop worrying about him? He made his bed, let him lie in it."

The next thing I knew, we were stopped on the side of the road.

"Out," he growled. "Out of the car, now!"

"No."

"You know, Sungyeol-hyung. You are the one who never forgot the past. Me, Sunggyu, Woohyun, Hoya, Dongwoo, our managers, our CEO and even Sungjong, we all moved on. In our own ways, we all did. But you, you never even tried. Sungjong left and you wrote him off and acted like the victim. There could be any guys that could return your love but you close your heart to them. You could have found a lover which is far better than me but you preferred wallowing in your misery. You act like a blind, hyung… you only think that I am the only guy that can give you what you need but you were wrong. Haven’t you realized it yet that I am indirectly and unintentionally hurting you. I did not mean to be like this to you, hyung, but my heart only belongs to our maknae despite he had crushed it by leaving me. Our relationship was a pure mistake. You hang on to me and made it your mission to domesticate me. Well, you know what…you failed. This relationship is over. Now, out."

Still glaring at me, he unlocked the door. Trying to process the information thrown at me, I moved out of the car like an automaton. Stunned, I watched Myungsoo accelerate at top speed to Sungjong, to his past. Left in the dust, it finally hit me. Myungsoo had not accepted me in his life because he needed my help. He had accepted me because Sungjong had asked him to: "Please be strong and help the people who want your help." Myungsoo was right, I haven’t moved on. I was overwhelmed with my feelings that I haven’t let my brain work. I believed that I can change Myungsoo’s heart. I have been a fool to think that Myungsoo’s heart could even beat for me once.  I became oblivious of the people around me that I neglected those that love me. And above all, I am a total idiot for putting all the blame on our maknae. For making him the reason on why Myungsoo can’t love me… for blaming him every time Myungsoo and I fought. If only I could turned back the time.

Maybe, I should even thank our maknae. Even it was short lived; he has given me what was rightfully his… he gave me an opportunity to be happy. His decision was still unfathomable to me but I think it was time to open my heart and eyes again. Though he abandoned us, our maknae was thinking about my well-being. He had known how I would react. He had understood what his departure would cost me and he had not only made sure I would keep my job, but he had requested from his lover to support me. Though my current anger overwhelmed my senses, I could feel the glimpse of a new emotion. It was faint, but it was there. I am still bitter about this situation but perhaps, for the first time in a long time, I worried, not about myself, but about my best friend and brother which I had lost from my own doing. Perhaps, this time I should learn about the real deal of Sungjong’s departure.

Even when we don't look back and keep pressing forward, we are all prisoners of the past … until we deal with it.