Chapter 34
The Ambiguity Of Selfishness
Chen slung every curse word he knew around in his mind. The suspicion he had had about his human mind decipherer proved true—Minseok and Baekhyun knew each other.
Well, used to. They lost contact, but from what he heard from them both, they wanted to see each other again, probably to resolve their regrets to the other. Should he tell Minseok at all since he had just finished an ordeal with his family? But Chen already vowed to not be the cause of his guardee’s anger again, and if he found out that he had kept this secret from him too…
Chen shuddered.
So he thought again. Hypothetically speaking, Chen could take Minseok to Baekhyun or vice-versa, and whatever riffs they wanted to mend could be mended. He would probably have to explain how he had found Baekhyun and subsequently figured out that this was the right Byun Baekhyun of Minseok’s school days. He could already hear Minseok asking him why he would seek a relationship counselor and the conflicting enjoyment from both his guardee and his human mind decipherer’s teasing. They both felt relatively the same way about how their relationship cut off though, so Minseok would probably be happy seeing Baekhyun again. Chen could endure the conflicting enjoyment if that was the case.
And Chen didn’t have to mention any of the supernatural world. The doctor, for some reason or another, thought of him as a human government agent who had been experimented on, according to the peek at Baekhyun’s notepad Chen stole. Under that guise, Chen could just say that he did some digging to help his regret in payment for their contract—not completely untrue and satisfying his end of the contract too. He could just remind Minseok to not mention anything about his condition and angelics.
Ah, should he tell Chanyeol? Baekhyun was his favored… crush person, so he might have wanted to know. Chen couldn’t think of a reason why Chanyeol wouldn’t want to help his crush with his regret, but if he said no and Minseok wanted to see Baekhyun, but Chen wouldn’t keep anything from Minseok…
He let out a growl of frustration, then jumped a bit when there was a touch to his shoulder. He turned and smelled worry coming off his guardee.
“Chen, are you okay?”
The weird-but-pleasantness rippled through him again—though he didn’t get why it would if Minseok was worried—and he pressed his cheek to his. Screw it—he would just tell Chanyeol later. It wasn’t as if Chanyeol had been involved in Minseok and Baekhyun’s university life. This was just between the two humans.
“Would you see him again if you could?”
“Baekhyun? Well, yeah.” He looked up in thought. “I don’t know if he’d want to see me, but if he does, the least I should do is apologize. But Chen, I don’t know if he does or even where he is.”
“I do.”
Minseok’s eyes blew open from their already wide appearance, and Chen wondered if he was wrong about Minseok being able to turn into a snow leopard and his animal form was actually an owl instead.
“You do? You know where he is? How? Why?”
Chen made the tiniest flinch at his hardening tone. He gripped Minseok’s hand closer.
“I found him by chance. I was looking for someone to help me figure you out, and I ended up finding a relationship counselor. He recently told me about a university friend, and everything he said matched your situation.”
Minseok squeezed his hand back, and panic flashed up Chen’s senses. But the squeeze was gentle and even tugged him forward.
“Hey, Chen, I won’t get mad like a couple hours ago. You’re a demon who has been around more places for your missions, and you did tell me before that you thought that I was confusing. The coincidence is just… unreal. Was that where you were always disappearing to?”
He nodded, not meeting his eyes until the lightest of touches tipped his chin up. Minseok still smelled a little worried, but he had a small smile on his face too.
“Don’t be afraid to be you. You have your own experiences, and you’re entitled to calling me out or being angry or just reacting how you usually would.”
Despite the innocuous way he said those words, fear struck Chen as realization did. He didn’t know what conditions would cause Minseok to… some word that lurked in the peripherals of his mind. He couldn’t verbalize it through the frenzy from that realization. He just didn’t want it to happen. Shuffling closer, Chen chased the feeling away with the solid presence of Minseok, holding him tight, breathing in his scent. His guardee heated at his hug but wrapped his arms around him, and the warmth was enough for some of those words to surface out from the fear.
“What happens if I’m me, and you don’t like it?”
“Hm, I might get upset at something that you do, but we’ll talk it out, like how we did with the repeal. Same if I do something you don’t like.”
“We’ll just talk? You won’t…”
“We’ll talk. I promise. I’m not pushing away another person I care about.”
He squished him, and Chen squished him back, smiling when Minseok made a small squeak. The frenzy settled down, and the weird pleasantness filled its place, making him feel fuzzy on the inside, the good fuzzy. Eventually, his guardee shifted so he let go enough to look at his face.
“Uhm, so would you take me to him one day? It might be weird to just drop in on him at… five in the morning, but someday?”
Chen nodded, and Minseok let out a sigh of relief, tugging them out of the kitchen and back to the living room. He thought that his guardee would go back to painting, but after setting the water cup down, he scooted closer to Chen than the table. Pulling him by the waist, Minseok tucked Chen’s head across his shoulder, right where he could breathe in his mountainy scent.
“I hope this is okay?”
Chen let out the longest purr of his life.
~~~~~
Yixing let out a squeal as soon as he read from whom the envelope landing on his desk was addressed, and he snatched up the paper so fast that the portal wasn’t even done closing yet before breaking the seal.
“Excited for a letter? Is it from Commander Suho?”
Yixing almost jumped, froze, and cleared his throat. He had forgotten that Luna was reporting to him.
“It is. He sends information that might be useful to missions of his demons. Continue with your report though.”
“It’s okay. I can wait because I see that you clearly don’t want to.”
She grinned, and Yixing scratched the dimple in his cheek. Thumbing the letter open, he felt the smile grow wider on his face to feel two pages.
To Yixing, My apologies for not writing back to you sooner. I wasn’t expecting a letter of thanks, honestly, as I sent that information willingly for the sake of helping you with the mission. Therefore, you do not need to thank me. The mission is of top priority, so there is no need to apologize for the state of your room. You must be busy dealing with uncovering Hayong’s plot; room organization can wait. Kai reported to me that your investigation is relatively progressing with the aura magnetism potion and Minerva’s feather being found on a true neutral human. Helping Minseok adjust to his demonic aura likely keeps your team busy as well. I’m glad that the potion and modifications were of use to you. If I find anything else related to the mission, I will inform you. -SuhoHe was only vaguely aware of Luna peeking over his shoulder as he opened the second page.
Dear Yixing, I realize that I already wrote a letter of my gratitude, but I came across new information regarding the proxy process and had to notify you immediately. If you remember from my first letter, Mi has commissioned Commander Unmaik to send me books, however the latest book was in the Havadia Library of heaven. The Encyclopedia of Ariba, a peculiar book that only reveals its knowledge to those desperate and seeking an answer. The pages remained blank as I was not seeking anything in particular, but Mi apparently was. They left a note on the inside cover. For security reasons, I’ve kept it and won’t send it to you. However, by its various synonyms of erasure and its drawing, I have concluded that it refers to a part of the proxy process unbeknownst to any. If a proxy must slowly garner the power of an angelic aura and adjust their body accordingly, then it is possible that said proxy must ‘dilute’ some of their innate power in order to make room for the angelic aura. The faerie proxy of several centuries ago—they had already generated some angelic aura when they were assassinated. And, I’m sure you know, faeries are of neutral bias with some power but not as much as a high-class angelic. To accommodate for the growing angelic aura, what if the faerie had to deplete their own power? Minseok was human first, and so his body would be both neutral, weaker, and adaptable; there would be no need for him to deplete aura, and his body would adjust on its own even if inefficiently. Kai reported to me that Hayong felt… like him. You know of Kai’s aura. If Hayong feels similarly, then she could very well be removing her demonic aura to become human. The most recent report of her aura as well as turning Minseok into a proxy would be explained. This theory has many gaps, I know—it would not explain the feather found on that true neutral human nor the role of the traitor and the first angel attack. But this is what I could come up with given the limited information available about proxies. Let me know of your thoughts and how reasonable this speculation may be. Together, we might be able to uncover Mi and their mystery. -Sincerely, SuhoLuna gasped. Yixing pressed his lips together before letting them go in a sigh. Part of him swooned at the intelligence of the demon commander. His theory was logical with the information he had and honestly quite impressive for its near-accurate conclusions, and they were enough for Yixing to implement the change of strategy without arousing suspicion. The other part of him looked ahead though, and he feared that maybe the parts that were wrong could return with an ugly twist of mistruths.
“This is huge, Yixing! If that’s true, then we know what Hayong wants!”
Yixing nodded, tucking the two notes back into the envelope, buying time to phrase his words.
“It’s odd for any angelic to want to become human, let alone commit to some unknown process to achieve that goal—but Commander Suho’s theory fits well enough to not be mere speculation.”
“Okay, so she wants to be human? And ejecting her demonic aura onto Minseok… Wait, but wasn’t he chased by her in the beginning? Kai said that he pulled him out of a supermarket because a dark cloud was chasing them and attacked them. She was screaming that she wanted something back.”
Yixing pressed his lips together again. He hated twisting his words to a good angelic like Luna.
“Commander Suho’s theory has its gaps, but just as he doesn’t know, perhaps neither does Hayong. Many of her moves are curiously unsteady.”
“Really? Like what?”
“The attacks at the supermarkets for one. Another is the timing of when she gave Minseok the aura in the first place. Chen was fighting her and had cornered her when Minseok accidentally got too close. From what Chen reported, they severely wounded each other before Hayong dissipated and Chen’s strength ran out. If Hayong was looking for someone to bear her aura, then she likely wouldn’t have done it during a fight and make herself even more vulnerable.”
“That’s true.” She sighed. “I’m happy that Minseok is adjusting well to becoming a demon, and I suppose that Chen is a part of that now. But how are we supposed to prosecute Hayong if she becomes human? We can’t subject her to the same punishments, but anything less seems like we acquit her. The kidnapped souls, initiating the proxy processes on an unwilling human, the first angel attack—she violated too many rules.”
Yixing nodded. Even he couldn’t predict the specifics of physical changes Hayong might go through. In terms of aura, humans were weaker, and she indeed casted off the bulk of her demonic aura when she initiated Minseok’s proxy process. Any of the punishments made for a human to withstand equated to a slap on the wrist for a demon. He shrugged.
“It’s not our job to determine how she’ll be punished. We just need to focus on protecting the humans and catching her, and Commander Suho’s theory at least lets us have an idea of Hayong’s state.”
Luna hummed and pattered over to the window, sighing at the crescent moon.
“So? How’re we changing our tactics?”
“Oh? You assume that we are?”
“I’ve worked with you a few years already, Yixing. You always change strategies with new information.”
“Observant of you. The unknowns affect the mission greatly, but safety is our prioritization. That true neutral whom Chen found the feather on needs to be safeguarded, so I’ll ask you and Chanyeol to mark him and any other true neutrals you two come across. Minseok’s situation remains the same. Hayong will likely need him for one thing or another if she had sent a first angel to attack him.”
Yixing started straightening his papers and reports, separating the letter, and started a reply to Suho. While referring back to it, he noticed that the commander changed the greeting and sign-off from the first to the second pages, and his body zipped up in glee.
He had been so absorbed in the change and writing the reply that it wasn’t until his instincts lit in suspicion of the environment that he remembered that he was speaking to Luna. Turning around, he paused when he saw the angel leaning against the window, watching him. The look in her eyes ran cold or perhaps calculating. She was observing him. Why?
“My bad—I forgot that you were still giving a report. I got excited by Commander Suho’s letter.”
“Are you withholding information from us?”
“Why would you think that?”
“You answering my question with another question just tells me that you are.”
Her blonde hair glowed under the light of the moon, even as its shape shone in a weak sliver. Her aura hummed like that light, growing in power, but Yixing didn’t feel malice or even anger. He turned in his chair to face her.
“You’re not threatening me despite your claim.”
“You’re right. I’m not because I’ve seen the way you defend Minseok. Your intentions never feel evil either, so what other reason is there to act like you have secrets pertinent to the mission?”
“You and D.O are both dreadfully sharp.” He sighed as she
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