Chapter 18

The Ambiguity Of Selfishness
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Double update because April is doom month for school part two! Make sure to read the chapter before!

 

 

The angel at Commander Unmaik’s house had a certain charm about him. Perhaps Suho had an inclination towards softer-edged faces, eyes that expanded two times larger when surprised, and dimples. Or maybe it was just surprise that fueled his inclination, but very few things surprised him now.

“Commander Suho. A surprise to see you, and honestly, to actually meet you.” He made a bow. “I am Yixing, Chen and Kai’s current coordinator.”

Commanders and lords rarely met the coordinators they sent their angelics to work under. Unless the coordinator asked for a certain demon or angel, the most communication between them was information from the spheres pertaining to that mission, like with the portal irregularity Suho had sent. Suho just knew more about the missions his demons worked on because he requested his demons to always send him updates. The Glory of Arche handled the organization and assembly of most missions with input of the coordinator, so Suho had never met the angel.

And at the door of the Commander of the Legion of Neshiyyah had been the last place he imagined meeting him.

The angel opened said door wider and laughed a bit, a twinkling sound in the breeze. That dimple also appeared again, and Suho found himself staring at it a little longer than what was polite.

“Commander Unmaik asked me to lead you inside.”

The coordinator’s eyes darted down to the books and scrolls in Suho’s hands, and then he remembered why he had come to Unmaik’s house.

“Thank you.”

The angel let him in and led him across a vinyl laminate house with smooth gray walls. The light fixtures resembled the Victorian gothic irons, but instead of lights or lanterns, the fluorescence of hell’s mushrooms glowed, growing out a mass of dirt nestled into the light holders. But Suho had seen them before. The certainty of this coordinator’s steps, the way his back muscles outlined against his white shirt, the strength in his being even as hell’s atmosphere pressed into his angelic aura—that Suho has never seen.

Hell weakened heavenistic creatures and vice-versa, and the signs were always present even if subtle. Each angelic had their own reaction to the opposite’s sphere, but this angel seemed to have none, as if he walked in the neutrality of Earth or in the sphere of heaven. Maybe that was the real reason Suho’s eyes lingered longer on the coordinator, breaking only when his gaze could be noticed by another.

Commander Unmaik smiled at him from above the head of her owl, the messenger perched on her slender fingers. Her office was a bit smaller than his own and opted for a rectangular shape instead of a semicircle. Blackout curtains covered the two windows, and various humanmade ornaments decorated the whole office. She particularly liked the multicolored tokens of Mardi Gras.

The angel moved to close the doors and leave, but the commander of Neshiyyah waved for him to stay. Suho locked eyes with the owl when dark pants and the hem of a white shirt danced in his peripherals, and somewhere in his stare-off with the messenger, he realized that the subject of his studies would no longer be private by Commander Unmaik’s design.

“Commander Suho, good to see you. Have you finished reading the articles I lent you?”

“Yes. They were extremely helpful and thank you once again for lending them to me.”

“Did you discover anything new?”

That question stood out of place—Unmaik knew the contents from her own personal library—and Suho approached to bide his time, setting the books and scrolls on her desk.

“Perhaps not new to you but new to me.”

He stopped when she brushed her nails across the back of his hand. Suspicious. Suho looked up and found a smirk drawn up her lips.

“Such as?”

Her eyes darted to her right and behind him, where the angel stood, and Suho wondered the game she was playing. But knowing that the commander had a penchant for harmless mischief, and apparently also this angel, he decided to indulge her.

“Many things. I found the side effects of a certain heavenistic herb after it has been specially brewed, which helped one of my demons in their poison deconstruction mission, and the lore and bestiary of the fifth circle helped me identify the clues that I needed for a certain personal project.”

“I see. I’m glad that they were useful. Is there anything else that you would like to borrow?”

Suho glanced behind him. The angel’s head was down in respect and his eyes trained onto the floor, as customary.

“The offer is not just limited to books.”

He turned his head back to the Neshiyyah Commander and twitched an eyebrow up at her even wider smirk and darting glances towards the angel. He could guess her moves now though not why. For a second, Suho thought to decline and return later, when no hint of his seemingly random topics of study could leak to anyone, but in the following second, he overturned his previous thought with logic. This angel likely couldn’t even guess Suho’s real reason for any of his book selections—he was of no harm to him.

“If you have anything about the pit of hell and aura crafting, I would appreciate it.”

Commander Unmaik let out a chuckle. Hers always sounded like a scoff in the first breath, then the rest of the breaths cut like a cackle in the shape of a smile. She turned to him.

“Interesting pair of subjects. May I ask why?”

“Personal matters.”

“Something to do with that smallest runt of yours?”

Suho stopped short of replying only because a hiccup sounded behind him, followed by the soft smack of skin over skin. Glancing over, he saw the angel with his hand over his mouth and his eyes wide. He knew that look from angelics who couldn’t control themselves in front of other commanders, lords, people who expected them to be silent and unmoving until called upon. The next look in their eyes was always fear. Suho simply turned back to the other commander.

“Don’t call him that. If you have any books over these two topics, I would appreciate it.”

“Of course, I do. I dabbled in a bit of aura crafting when I was just a century or two old. Yixing.”

“Yes, Commander Unmaik?”

“Reshelve these and lead Commander Suho to my personal library. Shelf two-hundred thirty-six, column forty-two and ‘The Tethers of Master Hell.’ You remember where that was, correct? You used to attach yourself to that one.”

“Commander…”

“Okay, no more teasing. Go on now.”

She waved, her smirk not at all hidden, and handed the read items to the angel. With his head still bowed, he gestured out of the office, though his other hand drummed nervously at his side.

“This way, Commander Suho.”

Suho nodded and let the angel guide him deeper into the house. As they walked up the stairs, the… certain body part of the coordinator entered his vision, and he averted his gaze. If this was all part of Commander Unmaik’s plan, he would need to speak to the old owl.

After all, she mentioned very specific things about this angel, none of which were by accident. The coordinator must have had her favor or maybe they were simply close, judging from the little whine from the teasing. This angel also had access to a personal library of a demon commander, must have worked within the collection frequently to know where to reshelve several articles and where a certain book was located. The coordinator must have been interested in the workings of hell to have read and reread a book on the subject that Suho needed. Plus, he knew the layout of Commander Unmaik’s house.

What a strange angel.

And he was sure that Unmaik calculated for him to figure all this information out but not the reason.

Maybe Commander Unmaik was the one who was strange.

“Here we are.”

Suho looked up to the familiar innately carved wooden doors as the angel pulled them open. Mushroom lights illuminated the library from the floor to the top of the ceiling. Shelves lined the walls, scaling up to the mass of mushrooms growing out of the wood like a chandelier. The center dome was a vaulted space, and on the ground were two reading chairs and a small table between them. Candles and lighters were organized on top, and Suho wondered if the angel had needed them to see in the rather dark room.

He wondered if the angel still needed them to see because he walked in and banged his shin into the table. The coordinator let out a yelp, and a cacophony of wax, plastic, and metal banging followed, making the angel flinch at the noise next.

“Ow. Uh, Commander Suho, The Tethers of Master Hell is on the shelf over there on a display, next to the red mushroom lamp and up. If you give me a moment, I can also find shelf two-hundred thirty-six for you.”

The angel set the read articles down onto the table and started patting around the ground, but not before digging his fingers into his cheek and making a small sigh into his hand. Ah, maybe the angel grew clumsier when in hell.

Walking forward, Suho knelt and started gathering what fell from the table. He found the candle holder and fixed it with one before lighting the wick with a cigarette lighter. Orange and yellow flickered across the widened eyes of the coordinator, and Suho stopped to note the colors against the brown of his irises. He stared longer than was polite, and he knew it when the angel darted his gaze away with a shuffle.

Suho pulled back and stood, heading towards the red mushroom mass. He scanned the shelves and found on the fifth shelf up a book stand with the tome he needed. It was out of reach unless he climbed, jumped, or flew. He would’ve just climbed or jumped, but behind him, little shuffles and rustlings kept reminding him of his company, and a silly impulse burst into his mind.

He was a commander—he had nothing to prove to anyone. But logic couldn’t reason why he connected showing something rarely seen of a demon with making the angel feel at ease.

Slipping out of his shirt, he left it on a lower shelf and pushed out his wings. Demon wings were impractical in a covert operation unless taking information from the sky or when wearing shirts with holes slit into the back of them. They didn’t need them or use them as much as angels, but since Hell liked the idea, it gave demons a version of that feathery white.

His own wings, a deep blue, reptilian, and waterproof-sleek, let him fly through air or water, so plenty of his missions when he was a lower rank were sea battles or dealing with underwater beasts.

He made sure to flap gently, considerate of the other books and potential dust, flew up, grabbed the book, and descended back down. The Tethers of Master Hell had a woven hydra scale cover, an anonymous compiler and editor, and a thread of gold as its bookmark. Straight handwriting wrote the inner contents, peppered notes in curvier font on the side, and Suho smelled the trace of earth pine along the pages, and knowing that earth pines didn’t exist in hell, he knew that the book had left the library before.

“Where did you read this?”

He looked towards the last shufflings he heard at the same moment that the angel looked to him. His eyes widened so far back that Suho saw the red veins at the edges, and all the books to be reshelved slid out of his arm and thumped onto the floor. Dropping to the ground, the angel scooped up all the articles, his head down.

“I brought it with me to many places, but the last place I read it at was in a pine forest. I think it’s present-day Vietnam now.”

Suho made a hum of acknowledgement, watching for when the coordinator would stand up, but he didn’t. He only clutched the articles closer to his chest. Taking his shirt, Suho walked over and squatted across from the angel, who stiffened.

“What was it like?”

The angel blinked at the ground before a small smile slipped up his face.

“Beautiful. There was a lake and nearby village and distant mountain backdrop.”

“If you have the time, let me know of the place.”

“Of course, sir.”

“You may call me Suho.”

He stood, tossing his shirt onto one of the chairs, but the angel still squatted, unmoving. Not breathing either.

“Yixing?”

His head slowly tilted up. His eyes seemed glazed over.

“Do I perhaps make you uncomfortable?”

Then they widened.

“No! Not at all, sir—Suho.” He paused and shuddered. “It’s just that I didn’t expect you to treat me so… casually.”

“Because I’m a demon?”

“Because you’re a demon commander.”

“You seem close with Commander Unmaik. Was her demeanor not your example?”

“I knew that she was an exception.”

“Did you think me the same as the rumors?”

Yixing's eyes sidled up from where their gazes met, and Suho held back the urge to touch the strands of his red hair.

“To be honest, I don’t believe the one about the bet with the fire demon.”

Suho blinked, a bit surprised. With the reputation demons had with angels, he thought that they would easily believe any hell rumors. Suho knew the gossip about him—among the harmless ones, they also whispered that he was a strange unambitious commander, reclusive, collected demons of value to engolden his own name, soaking in the credit while doing nothing. And the bet with the fire demon had only been out of a provocation of his own arrogance.

Over time, the severity and frequency of the words petered out. He supposed that he should have just been grateful if the angel had only heard about the gambling one.

“Good. It’s better to confirm information yourself than to trust groundless whispers. Point me in the direction of shelf two-hundred thirty-six, column forty-two. I can browse while you reshelve the books.”

“Yes, of course. It’s that one over there. Column forty-two is on the right.”

Nodding, Suho fluttered up to the shelf and started his search. He needed to craft a container able to hold and exude aura. Commander Unmaik hadn’t been wrong when she guessed the reason behind his personal project. He was certain that some object like that existed, and it would let Kai walk in hell safely and without judgement. His guilt towards the spatial demon lodged its place in his being, but never had the thought of regretting his decision to save the spatial demon ever crossed his mind. Regret belonged to a different memory of his.

After skimming the fourth or so book, the quiet steps of the angel caught his attention, and he looked over his shoulder. Yixing didn’t look surprised, but his body still tensed.

“Is there a particular craft you need? I’ve read a few of the aura crafting books, so I might be able to help.”

Suspicion halted his agreement, but logic once again dismissed the feeling. Suho put the book back and floated down.

“I need a container of aura, something that radiates.”

“Container of aura…”

Yixing trailed off, and his gaze wandered into the distance. He seemed to be thinking, so Suho waited and watched the angel as he did. Physically, he didn’t do anything, but the glow of the candlelight caressed the angel’s face, lighting his cheeks and coloring his eyes an umber color. Then he suddenly straightened, and his dimple appeared with his smile, and Suho felt a jolt through his being that wasn’t surprise.

“I remember reading about something like that in a blue hardcover that feels like bubbles when you run your hand over it. The name…”

His dimple vanished. He pressed his lips together and his fingers drummed at his sides.

“The name— The title of it—”

“I’ll find it. Thank you.”

Suho flew up and started running his hands down book spines. He let his hands find a hard bubbly cover, but his attention drew towards the corners of his vision, where the angel made a barely audible sigh into his palm. He didn’t like that sound and how it dragged shame out of the coordinator’s breath. Was Yixing perhaps nervous? Or maybe hell had a fogging effect on the angel? That would explain his clumsiness or forgetting.

But not the nervousness and the fear. The curiosity struck Suho and wouldn’t leave. It fueled his focus out of impatience, wanting to find the book so he could descend and ask the angel a few questions. Suho would admit to the accuracy of one of those rumors—he was indeed a recluse, though out of his workload and not disinterest. Certainly not out of disinterest if he was wanting to ask Yixing the social decorum he learned to show to the demon legions.

His hands found rounded bumps, and he pulled the book out, gliding down to the ground.

“Is this it?”

The angel leaned in with the candle, and his dimple cratered his cheek again.

“Yes! That’s the one. The recipe was towards the beginning of the book.”

Suho flipped it open, found the table of contents, and flipped to the right page. Skimming through, he nodded once he read the introduction and confirmed the craft’s function.

“Thank you,” he said, looking up at the angel, who startled before dipping his head.

“Of course, s… Suho.”

He moved to retrieve his shirt when he noticed that a few of his previous articles still sat on the table. Those he remembered pulling from the top shelves, and seeing as Yixing had yet to shelve them, more questions pushed forward in his mind.

“Are you not going to put these back?”

“What? Oh, I will. I… didn’t want to be in your way while you browsed.”

“Then do so now. I’m done.”

But the angel didn’t move from his spot even after Suho stepped out of his way.

“Angels can open their wings in hell, and you don’t need my permission. Go ahead.”

“I’m self-conscious about my wings.”

Suho’s eyebrows twitched up, and Yixing looked away.

“Why?”

“They're... ugly.”

Suho jolted again, but the reason left distaste in his mouth, especially when he saw the frown on the angel’s face.

“I’ll reshelve the books.”

“What? Commander Unmaik sai

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Kiwi-C
The final endings for TAS' main story are up! Yes, plural! Two chapters of goodness!
Gogogogogo!

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melodyoficeandfire
#1
Chapter 51: EEEEEEE I LOVE YOU THIS IS THR BEST THING I COULD EVER WANT AND MORE!!!!! (also you made me cry halfway but I forgive you so-)
Xiuchenniee
#2
Chapter 49: ANDDD im finally and sadly done. That was such a roller coaster! The way you described the characters in the beginning I was honestly so confused my little brain was trying so hard to comprehend what was going on, but as the story went on I caught on as well!

Let me start with yixing, considering what’s been happening and how much he was willing to save min and was confident about it (somehow.) the revelation in the end made sense, but the way it happened was brutal. Poor thing did nothing wrong leave baby alone. I loved his friendship and dedication, not to mention his relationship with suho. They were by far and in my opinion the most subtle but obvious couple in the story if that makes sense.

And our little innocent boy kai oh my his first appearance was epic!!! Minseok being so confused and freaking out while he was so so excited! Gosh he’s precious. Not to mention how Minseok accompanied him in babysteps from defining friendship to him to making him stand up for himself all the while being understanding. Minseok really taught everyone around him how to be a better person.

D.O, at first I literally thought he might have a crush on Minseok because of the way he opened up and had a conversation with him so fast despite it being very preposterous for his persona. And to be honest I was so mad at him for hurting Kai, physically and emotionally, but knowing his story! I totally understand his actions. Im glad he learned how to trust again.

Luhan! Poor dude just wanted a friend and got so much trouble along with it. But the way he handled it was so good! I honestly doubt i’d be as calm and understanding as he was for a human. He was adorable I appreciated his kindness towards Minseok. Minseok needed that kind of support. Also glad he found Sehun and took an interest upon him. Being depressed, a loner and suicidal must’ve been so sad! I love how you included so many mental disorders and addressed these problems. Im so thankful for that. The family issues, in different senses, friendship, lies, betrayal, taking advantage and remorse. You’ve done it so well!

Our chen chen! Not gonna lie i loved how cocky he is especially in the beginning though i wished minseok would reply to him most of the time for the insults chen kept giving him. I wonder why chen was so mean to min in the beginning? But I love how the clumsy too sweet for this world Minseok made him utterly confused he started questioning everything around him. He even sought relationship consultation! Which im so so so thankful for, Baekhyun was back in Minseok’s life again and that helped stop beating himself for the past.

The way Minseok’s past was effectively destroying his self esteem is devastating! He had to go through a lot and frankly i don’t forgive either his parents or his self centered brother. I love the way Xiuchen’s relationship progressed! The confusion, the need to know each other and get closer , the cuddles even before being partners oh my! And the way they got so close i loved everything about thier relationship? I also love how you portrayed the fear in chen. It was heartbreaking but very understandable. Poor thing.

Anyway, I would say a lot about the plot but I think it speaks for itself, don’t you agree? The description, the dialogue, the plot twistsx, the revelation, the build up, the fights. You showcased all that so well. You’re very talented. Thank you so much for this I really wish you don’t stop here these characters are so precious and I support any thing youll add. Don’t let these thoughts in, take them out and show us I too believe a lot of interesting things can happen now between them now that min is a demon.

Thank you again, I cannot thank you enough. I look forward to seeing more work of yours. Always!
Xiuchenniee
#3
Chapter 34: It’s currently 5 am and I’m binge reading this story I seriously cannot let go even though my eyes are begging me to sleep. Not to mention how my fingers are aching for me to say something, I’m holding back my thoughts until the last chapter because i have a lot to say and I want it to be collectively! BUT ! I have to tell you that after reading this chapter im sickeningly happy!! The way im moving around my bed excitedly is so embarrassing hahaha! Oh my this chapter cured my depression
melodyoficeandfire
#4
Chapter 49: It's finally done, omygoodness. I feel all sorts of feelings 🥺🥺🥺 What an incredible journey to experience this story with you~ I definitely enjoyed, and now I will empty that the chapters I look forward to every week will soon come to an end.

Thank you so much for this amazing story ❤️
melodyoficeandfire
#5
Chapter 47: What an emotionally charged update. Each character, whether they be in 'heroes' or 'villains' side are all masterfully layered that you couldn't just pick a side without having to reflect their thoughts, actions, aspirations, grief, dreams, and hopes. It's one of my favourite things about this story (even if I forget some details along the way 😅)

Ah, how bittersweet to feel we're near the ending! I've been following this story for so long, it would feel likd missing an old friend once it's done. What an incredible journey! Be proud of yourself for accomplishing such a feat in between everything in your life! Well done!

In terms of a particular scene...if it's not too much to ask, I just want some additional scenes from mh xiuchen boys getting to know each other and sharing little bits of themselves (please I miss them so much I'm withering ;-;

Happy New Year, kiwi! May 2023 be kinder to you ❤️
Sharo001
725 streak #6
Chapter 46: “Try to survive my wrath.” I am so weak in the knees after reading those words, I can just imagine Suho’s deadly expression. Tongza is going to suffer now, and it is about time he is brought to justice for his evil doings. Also, it is very fitting that Suho will be the one to finally take that bastard down.

I was so proud of Sehun for going back to help Minseok. Hopefully, between the two of them, they can figure out how the container works. I just hope Hayong can’t cause any more trouble. This was such a good chapter.
melodyoficeandfire
#7
Chapter 45: I missed you dear author!! I hope you're also taking breaks in between all the school work + fic writing!

It feels bittersweet to see this fic reach its ending soon aftet reading it every week. What an absolute adventure! I'm so happy to see progress between lu + sehun together with Lay and Commander Suho! I miss my boys :( I hope they get to reunite soon too!

Thanks again for another lovely chapter!
Sharo001
725 streak #8
Chapter 44: Hayong and Tongza’s thinking is completely skewed, there is actually no justification for what they are doing. They are just narcissistic and self-serving. Minseok called it exactly right and apparently, they could not accept a few home truths about themselves. Also, to get off point a bit, it was disgusting how they were talking about controlling another first angel. They have no regard for any sort of life or existence.

I loved the quality time between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, even if it was tinged with sadness and longing. I am also glad that some hope was given to the forlorn Chen. Looking forward to seeing what happens next, thank you for the update.
melodyoficeandfire
#9
Chapter 44: NOOOOO ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER

MY MINSEOK IM GOING TO SCREAM
melodyoficeandfire
#10
Chapter 43: I'm glad Tao wasn't really taken by another set of baddies, how could my frail heart cope if that happened too?! 😭

Interested to see what happens next! My poor Minnie where is he taken??!

Take care as always, thank you for working hard!