Chapter 29
The Ambiguity Of Selfishness
Sehun stared nose to snout with his abruptly acquired dog. She was a border collie with the strangest and coolest fur he had ever seen. The strands were long and flowy, almost vapor like, but still fluffy at the touch, and they seemed to change transparency—not color, transparency—depending on whether she stood in the sunlight or not.
Her appearance was only the surface of the strangeness. He knew that growling at seemingly nothing was normal because dogs had better hearing, but to chase, claw, and chew on nothing didn’t seem as normal. And sometimes, he would wonder where she went and search the entire apartment only to find her standing or lying down someplace nearby that he knew he had just checked. The opposite happened too, and he could’ve sworn on his parent’s mansion that he saw her come out of a wall once.
She didn’t have to use the bathroom ever, she knew commands as complicated as playing dead and didn’t need a leash, and she also never got hungry or thirsty, which was evident when he forgot to get food for her a few days after her arrival and she never pawed for his food. There was also the question of how she followed him up into his apartment, and, of course, who in the world she belonged to.
She came with no collar but a note with a social media name, which ended up belonging to his professor—his favorite professor.
Even though Sehun was pretty sure that this dog was the one following that customer that day at Peaberry. The man had called her by name—Vi… something. Sehun had been calling her Vivi and she responded, so he just named her that for now.
Well, his first clue was Professor Lu. He considered DM-ing him with a picture of the doggie but ultimately decided against it. He would need a lot more than a text to explain how this dog, who was possibly not even the professor’s, came under Sehun’s ownership.
She suddenly his nose, and Sehun backed up in a laugh. He did have to admit that the puppy had given his life a bit of a boost. He still walked her since she seemed to enjoy those, and her soft fluffiness was nice to hug. He started doing homework on the floor or on his bed so that she could watch and learn engineering concepts with him. She was never warm, which Sehun thought odd, and her bark had a distorting sound to it, but Vivi was always so friendly.
“Okay, stay still so I can take a picture of you.”
He positioned his phone camera and snapped the shot while she smiled at him with tongue lolling out. Oh, so cute.
“I’m going to ask Professor Lu if you’re his dog after class today. Stay out of trouble, okay?”
She continued smiling and panting at him, and Sehun couldn’t hold back his coo. Giving her a last back rub, he gathered his backpack and headed to the window.
“See you later, Vivi.”
He opened the pane, stepped out, and closed it, climbing down the stairs of the fire escape. Professor Lu’s class was his last one for today, so he would have to hold off on the questions of Vivi until then. While waiting at a crosswalk, his fingers danced over his phone screen. He shouldn’t have been looking. He wasn’t going to communicate through social media when he would see his professor literally four hours later in the day today, and he shouldn’t scroll through his posts…
But while waiting in the classroom for his Materials class to start, his fingers had opened the app again and started scrolling. They were mostly places that the professor visited or shots of something funny while in a home setting. Most of the captions were in Chinese, and Sehun pouted at not being able to copy-paste them into a translator.
Wait—he should be looking to see if Vivi was ever there. Scrolling back through, he couldn’t find any of Vivi, and lots of people put pictures of their pets on their social media. Maybe she really didn’t belong to him?
Class started, so Sehun had to put the thoughts away but not before he impulsively hit the follow button for his professor’s page. He paid attention to lectures, wrote notes, and then it was time for Professor Lu’s class. The man came right when class started, and that marked attendance, so Sehun would wait until after. Lots of kids often went up to him after lecture, but his office hours were usually free, and knowing the hours like the back of his hand, Sehun could try then if the professor was too busy.
Although why a professor would be too busy to not inquire further about his lost dog didn’t make sense to Sehun, he left the reason at that.
Taking his unofficial seat in the back, near the window on the inside, he listened to the usual girls talk about this month’s Vogue issue as he got his thick binder for the class out. The door’s noisy clatter signaled someone’s entrance, and in walked Professor Lu.
To Sehun, most of his classrooms resembled his apartment. The blank white walls, the wood and gray furniture, the blackboard sometimes misted over with chalk—the biggest difference between them was that people walked in and out of the room too often for him to sleep peaceably if he wanted to sleep here.
But in this particular classroom and at this particular time of the day on Tuesdays and Thursdays, that difference changed. The late sunlight shone in through the windows and struck the figure of a colorful person, and even the grayscales of certain clothes would look alive on him. Sehun’s favorite though was the warm brown in his hair, his skin, his bright eyes, a honey-glow that turned golden with a simple smile.
Sehun saw that now as Professor Lu swept his gaze over the classroom, and as usual, Sehun stopped everything he was doing to admire the professor’s colors.
“Afternoon, class. I hope your autumn festivals and weekends were good— Woah!”
Professor Lu flew sideways as a furry creature tackled him onto the top of the front desk. Sehun stopped all motion but for a different reason this time. The furry creature was a border collie, and unless there was another dog who literally turned transparent in the sun, she was his abruptly acquired puppy.
“Woah, down, doggie. Uh, whose dog is this?”
Sehun dropped whatever was in his hands and dashed for the steps, but before he even made it to the end of the row, a loud bang! sounded behind him along with the distinct warble of papers flapping. He just remembered that he had dropped his thick- binder and he missed the table… and now everyone had looked behind them for the source of the sound and was staring at him. Even Professor Lu had stopped in his appeasing of Vivi to give him an amused smile.
.
Sehun moved to get his fallen binder, but then remembered that Vivi had just cuddled-mauled his favorite professor and quickly went down the steps to the front. The collie wagged her tail at him, panting happily and walking back and forth between him, Professor Lu, and the edge of the chalkboard. Taking an entire moment to wonder how the did Vivi find/follow him to class, Sehun looked to Professor Lu and opened his mouth.
And absolutely nothing came out. He was so embarrassed. He could feel himself heating up, and it had nothing to do with the sun warming his skin or the chortles of his classmates behind him. His temporary pet just jumped his favorite professor in class. And just as bad, if his professor asked who the collie belonged to, then she didn’t belong to him. What was he supposed to do?
“Sehun? Are you okay?”
He blinked his eyes back into focus, but that golden honey in the man’s eyes stung against the inexplicable confusion in Sehun’s mind. A tiny nudge to his knee made him look down and see Vivi giving him puppy-dog eyes.
“I told you to stay out of trouble!”
She barked, and the class behind him burst into laughter. Sehun knelt to hide his burning face into the collie’s fur, hoping that the professor couldn’t see it. He didn’t even know how to scold a dog properly. Did scolding even work?
“Alright, quiet down. We do not laugh at people with loyal pets in my class. Sehun, is this your dog?”
“Uhm, yes?”
“Why did that sound like a question?” The professor chuckled.
“Because I thought that she was your dog…”
Oh, that sounded so wrong. He didn’t explain how she got to him—but he couldn’t do it now in front of the whole class. They would think he was a stalker or maybe that Professor Lu was— was—
“Sehun, it’s okay. Though pets that aren’t service animals aren’t really allowed in classrooms, I can see that this was an accident. Does anyone have a dog allergy?”
Sehun clutched Vivi closer.
“Great, so we’ll just have a secret special guest for our class today. Everyone clear on the secret part?”
His classmates gave a series of agreements, some shouting for free pats after class. Sehun stayed frozen on the floor with his now-indefinitely abruptly acquired dog as Professor Lu entered his vision by kneeling with him.
“What’s her name?”
A wet nose tapped Sehun back to animation.
“Vivi. I think.”
“You think?”
“Uh, I thought she belonged to someone who came to my workplace, and they called her Vi-something, but she somehow followed me back to my apartment.”
“Why did you think that she was my dog?”
Sehun locked in place and not even Vivi’s nose-touching could shake him back.
“Hm, see me in office hours today, okay? Head back to your seat and try to keep Vivi from wandering too much and distracting others.”
Sehun managed to control his body enough to nod and stand up, starting for the stairs.
“Vivi, come here.”
The doggie, who normally heeded every command, didn’t move right away. She looked up towards the edge of the chalkboard again. When Sehun looked, there was nothing there.
“Vivi, come,” he said with a little more command.
For a moment, she just wagged her tail, then she started towards him. She didn’t come to his side like usual but slightly behind him, like she heeled with someone else instead despite the stairs being wide enough for both of them. Sighing at the state of his binder, Sehun gathered his papers back up as the professor started speaking. It was just recap and homework questions from before, but Professor Lu didn’t usually do those. Was he stalling for him?
Blushing then shaking the thought away, Sehun hurried to get his fallen papers, resorting to organizing everything that had fallen out of place later, and start his notes just as the professor started the new material. Vivi stayed at his feet and quiet. That by itself was a wonder since one of the first things he learned about her was that she didn’t like to sit still for long unless she was tired or being cuddled, but she stayed this time. Occasionally, Sehun saw her at the air, not the chairs, or paw at nothing on the ground. That was kinda strange.
He made it through class, and rather than endure awkwardly standing around as his classmates petted Vivi, he threw his stuff into his backpack, threw an apology over his shoulder, grabbed the dog, and jogged out of the hall. Professor Lu’s office hours today were right after his class, so if he just waited twenty or so minutes, he would probably be free.
For those twenty minutes, Sehun spent them outside on an obscured bench, rehearsing how he would explain himself, reorganizing his binder, and then staring at Vivi and asking her how she followed him all the way from his apartment, got through the door without being seen, then showed up at the most perfect moment to tackle his favorite professor. Vivi just stared up at him while sometimes nosing his knee.
After twenty, Sehun made his way back inside the building and to Professor Lu’s office, knocking on the door. A quiet ‘come in’ sounded, so he pushed open the door. Vivi didn’t even wait for him and trotted in, moving around the desk to put her front paws in the man’s lap.
“Woah, Vivi. You seem to like me a lot.” He looked up to Sehun, his smile momentarily short-circuiting Sehun’s thoughts. “Or she’s just a really friendly doggie?”
“She is, but I think she likes you specially.”
The man chuckled and leaned back in his chair.
“Most people celebrate the autumn festival by eating with their family. Is your thing to get a dog?”
“My family doesn’t care about traditions like that.”
Professor Lu’s smile dropped into shock before dropping deeper into regret. Sehun silently cursed at himself.
“But it’s fine. Vivi… actually, I thought that she was yours because she had this note with your social media tag on it. I was going to just come to class and ask if she was yours with a picture, but I didn’t know that she had followed me.”
The professor looked down at the desk, thinking, then made a little sigh.
“No collar, but she had a note with my social media written on it? That’s unordinary. Are you just going to take care of her for now?”
“Yes. She seems attached to me, and… her company helps.”
“With living by yourself?”
Sehun twiddled his fingers together, looking away.
“Among other things.”
He saw the professor nod in his peripherals, but he didn’t expect for him to gently remove the paws from his lap and hold out his hands in front of Sehun. He didn’t get what the professor wanted.
“Can I see your hands?”
Sehun had a moment’s delay in his brain because—did his favorite professor just ask to see his hands? Slowly, he unhooked his fingers and laid the backs of his hands into the open palms. The professor’s hands were chilly and slender as his thumbs started massaging the center of Sehun’s palms. He didn’t know how to react, but he felt how the tension in his shoulders that he hadn’t even known was there started to relax.
“They say that pets help with tactile interaction, but some actual human contact is nice too, yes?”
Sehun just nodded because he still couldn’t believe that the man was holding his hands and massaging them. They were smaller than his own but definitely strong.
“Because, you know, making coffee probably puts you more in contact with a machine than with people. Are you a people person?”
“Not really. They’re too colorful for me.”
Professor Lu stopped, drew his hands back, though they lingered before letting go completely.
“What do you mean by that?”
Sehun looked at where his hands had turned red, the temporary illusion like when he looked at his cheeks in the mirror after biking down the street in the wind.
“They’re colorful. Their lives have a reason painted in them, and it shows. That’s what I see.”
“Really? Is it like a palette? Or one color?”
He thought of the girls in his class talking of Vogue or their fashion aspirations in the future. He thought of his café manager.
“It depends. Sometimes they mix and match, and sometimes it’s just one in the spotlight.”
“Really? Which one is yours?”
“I don’t have one.”
The professor pulled back a little in surprise, blinking wide doe eyes at him.
“Why not?”
Sehun wondered that too from time to time, but it stopped mattering to him.
“I don’t know.”
When the professor seemed to search the tabletop for answers, Sehun thought that it was better if he helped him move the subject from himself.
“Do you want to know yours?”
“No.”
Sehun looked up. The professor had a small smile. That made him feel a little better.
“It’s strange, right? I know. Sorry for—”
“Don’t apologize. I meant that I don’t want to know mine until you find yours.”
“But I don’t have one.”
“Not yet.”
His smile grew bigger, and Sehun found himself smiling a little too. The professor suddenly stood, startling Sehun, and he just forgot his existence as Professor Lu rounded the desk and passed him, his hair almost touching Sehun’s nose.
Don’t think weird thoughts.
Sehun looked to where he was going instead and saw him moving towards Vivi. She pawed at nothing again near one of the bookcases, and he ushered her back to the seats.
“No scratching up the reference books. They’re not mine.”
The man shot a playful look to him, and a snicker whiffled out of Sehun before he could stop it. He cleared his throat to make it go away before something even more embarrassing came out.
“I’m sorry about Vivi disturbing class. Next time I’ll tell her to specifically stay home and make sure my window is locked.”
“It’s alright. The class and I had a good chuckle, and it was a good excuse to be able to learn more about you. I did ask you to come today for another reason though.”
He gestured for him to sit, so Sehun did, and the professor went back to his desk.
“A little fairy told me that there was an oddly large number of students anticipating and supporting a certain project considering that it hadn’t been released yet by the engineering department.”
Sehun cursed himself in his head a hundred times over.
“And as such, the department has approved if not basically expedited the entire thing and is currently making final touches and course adjustments for its launch next spring.”
Sehun paused in his cursing.
“Professor Lee and I are going to be the co-heads of the project, and truth be told, we have you to thank for it all, so thank you, Sehun. If you ever need something to put on your resume, put the fact that you help found an entire internship collaboration with one of the biggest tech companies, okay?”
Sehun stopped breathing. His mind blanked before the information came down together with a crash. Words jumbled in his mouth, and he had to remember to take breath to formulate a legible question.
“How’d you know it was me?”
“You’re the only one I told, Sehun, and no one else in the department said anything. And us geezers definitely did not use social media to spread the word out.”
“You’re not that old,” Sehun blurted.
The professor took a second longer to respond, but when he did, he chuckled, his gaze darting away.
“Thanks for that. But anyway, Professor Lee found your post and was wondering how you knew about it. I told her, by the way.”
“Will that get you in trouble?”
Professor Lu gave him an amused smirk.
“Is the university or even the department really going to fire the person who helped them get news articles written about them promoting their school and program while simultaneously giving them an excuse to flaunt their connections? No. Well, at least for a couple months.”
Sehun straightened in panic.
“I’m joking! Don’t worry. The project was meant to have a survey period anyway, and there was nothing about a certain time restraint or against having student-led proctoring of opinions.”
“Oh. Then, everything’s good?”
“Yes, it is, thanks to you.”
Hooking his fingers together, Sehun played with them because the blush was heating his face and—how embarrassing.
“Uhm, glad I could help.”
The professor smiled at him, and Sehun could’ve actually squinted from how dazzling he looked. And for a moment, neither of them moved. Something about the man before him ebbed him into a trance. First his eyes, then his cheeks, then the little curve of his smile, his nose, the way each feature beamed kindness at Sehun. The man tilted his head, amusement dancing in his eyes, and Sehun almost tilted his head with him to follow the sway of his fringe.
But that was also when Sehun knew he had been caught staring too long. He quickly looked away, fiddling with his backpack straps.
“I’m not done with the homework yet, so I’ll just come back tomorrow.”
“Okay, that’s fine with me.”
Sehun nodded, then decided that was his chance to leave with minimal awkward, so he stood and gave a deeper nod, heading to the door.
“Sehun.”
He turned back around and felt his chest seize up as the man stood before him. A respectful distance away, but still. Without the desk or Vivi between them, Sehun felt too close to someone who glowed.
“Silver’s a great color too.”
He blinked. Professor Lu pointed up, and Sehun remembered the color of his hair and how he had just spilled half his life's philosophy to the man. —he was being so obvious, but now that he knew, Sehun also didn’t want misunderstandings about it.
“That’s not what I meant by colors…”
“I know but consider it. Even an unseen sparkle of light has a hue of its own. See you tomorrow, Sehun.”
Sehun felt the blush, fought it off long enough to bow again, get out the door, get Vivi out the door, and close it. Then he jogged out the closest exit and covered his face as he exploded in his mind.
This was bad. He told Professor Lu the way he saw the world, something so deeply personal to Sehun that no one else knew about it. He shouldn’t have done that, but his stupid brain wanted the attention of someone with whom he couldn’t have anything more than a strictly academic relationship. Didn’t he blurt that the professor wasn’t that old either? It was true—Sehun didn’t lie ever—but his y brain could’ve been hoping for something more…
He let out a shout, the first in a long time, and jumped when a bark responded to him. Looking down, he knelt by Vivi and hugged her.
“You naughty doggie.”
But in spite of knowing that he just doomed himself to a world of hurt and separation and pining, he knew that he had never felt so happy. For his favorite professor to understand him and for that same person to encourage him—that fired little rockets up in his heart. He hid his face in the doggie’s currently transparent fur so that maybe only he and she would ever know.
“Thanks, Vivi.”
~~~~~
The liquid shimmered in perfect replica of his aura magnetism potion, and Yixing sighed for the forty-seventh time that night. They already thought that the angel accomplice and/or Hayong somehow had access to the potion, and the pot that D.O and Kai brought back containing the leftovers just confirmed it. From their report, Hayong herself likely brewed the potion while hiding in those caves. The question was how did she learn the potion’s existence and the instructions for it?
The potion’s record existed in two places, both of which had passed through Yixing’s discretion and were in hell, not heaven. Commander Unmaik wouldn’t have lent out the books with his notes without him knowing, and she confirmed that no one had (ever) broken into her house or personal library before. Aside from him and Commander Suho, requests from her personal library were rare too.
That, however, did not bar invited guests from the possible culprits. He requested her to think of anyone she invited who had seemed
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