“How could you leave me, Lee Sungyeol?” Myungsoo’s pained voice rang in the whole room as if tormenting them. “Why are you leaving me? Am I not good enough for you? Did I do something wrong to make you go away?”

Sungyeol felt all the pain in Myungsoo’s voice. If it didn’t mean the other loved him, he didn’t know what other proof there could be. But it wasn’t the time to be overjoyed over finding out Myungsoo does care about him and want him just as much as he does. So all he could do was watch Myungsoo tear up, angry lines forming in his forehead. Should he give up and lean down to kiss those worries away?

“I love you, how could you question that?” Sungyeol answered and he knew that his voice was shaking but he couldn’t care less, he needed Myungsoo to know how sincere his words are. “Believe me, I don’t want to go. I would if I could but I… this is my dream.”

“Your dream is to be as far away from me as possible?!” Myungsoo accused, sarcasm so obvious in his voice. “I thought we would be forever, Sungyeol. Didn’t you promise that? Or maybe, you’ve already forgotten about it?”

“I didn’t—“

“Then why are you leaving me?!” Myungsoo screamed once more, exasperation lacing his tone now. “Why can’t you stay here with me?”

“It’s my dream.”

“You told me that already.”

Sungyeol stared at Myungsoo’s form, his hair was dishevelled and drying tears on his cheeks. Without looking at the mirror, he knew he looked just as worse. Why did he let this happen to them anyway? How could things such as their future mess with their relationship so fast even before it could grow?

“I’m afraid, Sungyeol.” Myungsoo told him as he ruffled his own hair, “We’re best friends, yes. But we’ve only started dating… what if you leave for Japan and come back not wanting me anymore? I can’t stop you; I won’t stop you if you want to break up then. However, it would be hard for me to stay away because we’re best friends.”

Sungyeol was surprised and it was evident on the way he stared at Myungsoo. He never knew the other’s worry was the same as his. How could Myungsoo think there would be anyone else but him?

“And what if… what if you leave me and I fall in love for someone else? It’s going to hurt you and it’s going to hurt me because I know I would hurt you.” Myungsoo continued, “Everything’s going to end badly, Sungyeol. This was why I didn’t want to be more than what we were before. It’s going to destroy our relationship.”

Myungsoo made a point. Sungyeol loved Myungsoo and as far as this conversation was going, Myungsoo felt the same for him. But this was now, this was in the present. How about their future? With three years in between them, no one would be able to tell what would become of them. Their friendship was strong enough to withhold the separation but not their relationship. It was still too young, too raw and did not enough reassurance yet. It’s not going to survive.

“I’m not going to stay here just because we’re both scared, Myungsoo.” Sungyeol told him.

Myungsoo, surprisingly, smiled. “I know you won’t, it was worth the try. You wouldn’t be the Sungyeol I love if you weren’t going to stand by your principles. I know what the future is, Sungyeol. It’s scary and we’re just too young.”

“We can—“

“We’re breaking up.” Myungsoo said firmly.

Sungyeol felt his eyes grow huge and his heart break slightly. Did he hear exactly what he thought he heard?

“Let’s stay best friends,” Myungsoo explained without looking at Sungyeol’s surprised stare, “With being best friends, we know where we stand. Let’s wait till you come back in three years to see if we can continue as lovers but for now, isn’t friendship more important? As a friend, I can support your decision to study and be an actor but as a lover, I can only get jealous and be selfish to want you for myself.”

“Why can’t you be a friend and my lover at once?” Sungyeol questioned, trying to hold on the nearby wall as to not let his self fall on the ground. This was too much to take and it’s costing him so much more than he can let go.

“I can’t.” Myungsoo shook his head, “This way, whatever happens in the three years can be void as soon as we get back—if ever we will be. No heartbreaks.”

Sungyeol couldn’t allow himself to speak because he was sure he was going to end up crying and/or begging the other boy to take back all he said and promise to wait for him. However, he knows he shouldn’t do that. Myungsoo tried to make him stay, allowed him to leave when he wouldn’t give up and is giving him an opening, a chance. But this was unfair. All of it was unfair.

“I love you, you know that?” Myungsoo asked as he leaned forward and touched his forehead to Sungyeol’s neck, “I don’t know how I did but I did and I don’t regret it.”

“Tomorrow, I’m leaving for Japan. Don’t come and see me