Dahyun's POV


Cold. Damp. White. Bright. Damn. Looks like I'm here again. Maybe next time we'll go all the way.

 Hospitals just make me feel more sick. The metallic smell of the medical equipment and the faint odor of disinfectant burns through my nose but most of all, I just feel my weakest when I'm in here. Everytime I lie here, I feel like I'm floating but not the good kind of floating. It's the type of floating where you just want to feel the ground under your feet but you just can't. It makes your breathing shallow and quick.

You'd think that after spending nearly 3/4 of my life here I'd get used to the environment, but no. I grew to hate it more and more. It wasn't so bad at one point. She was there for me. But of course, it was too good to be true. I was left alone when I needed her most. I could never blame her. I was getting worse and she claimed she couldn't take it anymore. 

Flashback

"Dahyun-ah... I don't think I can keep doing this anymore..." She looks at my hand and gives it a tight squeeze. I can feel her teardrops falling onto my skin and I could hear the tremendous hurt in her voice. I never meant for you to feel this pain.

"Mimi baby... I'm trying to get better... For you... For us..." I could barely speak up with the nasal cannula up my nostrils and the tubes hanging a bit too low near my mouth. She notices this and gently adjusts it for my comfort. She brushes her fingers against the strands of my loose hair and tucks it in back in place.

"You'll be fine without me baby... You're strong... You were always so strong..." Her glossy brown eyes now meet my own. She didn't have to put it in to words, I can already feel and see it in her tired eyes. She wanted her freedom. Freedom from this world of pain where I dragged her in to. I wanted to set her free, but I couldn't. I couldn't lose the only thing that was important to me now.

"Mimi... Please don't leave me... You're a-all that I have... i-I love you Mimi... " I croak and my tears just cascade down my face. I look up and I see her tears falling down as well. I wanted to get up and hold her in a warm embrace, but I couldn't even sit up. I wanted to tell her it was all gonna be alright, but I couldn't speak up.

"You have your parents and Chaeng and Jeong... Maybe they can be there for you if you let them Dahyun,but as for me... I can't bear seeing you like this anymore..."

 I can feel my chest tightening but I won't let her notice it. It's been always about me but not this time. I feel her hand slip away under mine. I feel a deep pit in my stomach opening up. My chest feels like it's getting crushed now. I try and hold onto her but I couldn't move.

"Goodbye Dahyunnie... I'm sorry... I love you so much my baby..." She gets up from my bedside and I catch glimpses of her running to the door with her hand on her face and tears streaming down.

"No... Don't go... Please... Don't leave me..."

And just like that, she left me. 

End of Flashback

 "No... Don't go... Please... Don't leave me..." 

I feel warm hands cup my cheeks and my eyes shoot wide open. I was enveloped in a cold sweat. I was out of breath like I had ran a marathon. Okay. That felt too real again. I take a gulp, move my eyes left and right and see that I was in a ward. I turn my attention to the hand on my cheeks and follow its arms and see that it was Nayeon who was gently patting my face with a warm towel.

"We won't leave you Dahyunnie. We're here for you." She says with a soft smile. I wanted to say thank you, I should say thank you after all that they've done for me but the words that came out of my mouth were anything but gratitude.

"Please...Don't call me Dahyunnie..." I shy my face away from Nayeon's caring gaze and look out the window. The stars were out and the moon was shining. I spent half the day asleep and I even troubled Nayeon and Jeongyeon unnie today. The door swings open and I turn to see Jeongyeon holding some plastic bags. The smell of ramyun, jjajangmyun and tteokbokki pierces through the room. Suddenly, I feel like I'm at home.

"Oh hey Eagle! You're finally up. Do you want to eat? I bought food for us. I got you your favorite  ramyun Dubs. " Jeongyeon puts out the food on the table and struggles to open the package. She was biting and pulling on the cover like a child having trouble opening a bag of chips. Having seen enough of Jeongyeon's contorted face, Nayeon unnie gets up with a chuckle and helps her open the containers. Jeong meanwhile sits me up and Nayeon walks back to me with the glorious bowl of ramyun and hold up a spoonful in front my mouth.

I inhale deeply and the ramyun smelled delicious. I close my eyes and focus on the scent. The scent takes me back to when mom would surprise us with her special ramyun every time the team won a game back in high school. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung and I would come barging in the front door yelling and shoving each other around. We would tease each other how Chaeyoung couldn't block for because she was so small at the time, how Jeongyeon almost got kissed by a female fan and how every time I scored a basket I would look at... I cut my own train of thoughts. She doesn't matter anymore. No need to even think of her.

"Say ahh Dahyun. There I stopped calling you Dahyunnie but if you don't eat, I'll start using Dahyunnie as your name." Nayeon threatens me with her eyes narrowed and her nose scrunched up. I smile and eat the spoonful she gives me.

"It's a good thing you ate it. She was dead serious. She really loves being mommy Nayeon." Jeongyeon quips.

"Yah! I'm still her Mommy Nayeon no matter what. She's my baby now, Dahyunnie or no Dahyunnie. You can start calling me Mommy Nayeon okay sweetheart?" I smile and nod at Nayeon's offer. I couldn't say no after seeing the genuine happiness in her eyes. Besides, I liked the warm and fuzzy feeling that Nayeon was making me feel. It wasn't anything like what I feel with Sana, it was much simple but something I really really needed. I felt safe and secure. I turn to Jeongyeon and I give her a mischievous look.

"You're not gonna ask me to call you Daddy Jeong right?" Jeongyeon chuckles and gives me a light smack on the back of my head. I overreact and I lean forward more than I should.

"Ah that hurts! Mommy Nayeon, she's hurting me." I snuggle closer to Nayeon and give her one of my best pouts. She puts down the bowl to envelop me in a hug. I could practically see the steam coming out of Jeongyeon's ears. Someone's jelly jelly. She lifts her hand up to hit me but she was blocked by Nayeon unnie who was now wielding the spoon as a weapon. She hits Jeongyeon repeatedly in the shoulder with said spoon and I just break into a small giggle.

"Ow babe! Stop! Ah! I'm gonna smell like ramyun now! Stop it bunbun!" Jeongyeon was trying to cover herself from Nayeon's ramyun scented attacks but Nayeon wouldn't let up.  

"You do not hit my baby Dahyun! Do you understand me Yoo Jeongyeon?!?" Nayeon looked at her with a deadly gaze and Jeongyeon just nods up and down fervently.

"Good. Now go get a new spoon, Dahyun isn't finished eating yet." Nayeon looks at me with her motherly eyes and she pulls me closer in a warm embrace. I look over Nayeon's shoulder and I stick my tongue out at Jeongyeon.

Jeongyeon just sneers at me and goes to get the spoon. You win this time Dubu. I'll get you for this.

We eat the food that Jeongyeon bought and she shares how she lost to Chaeng 1 on 1 on their court. I was surprised that she was comfortable talking about her defeat to smolbean because Jeongyeon unnie hates losing. She explained that it was okay because Chaeng needed a push to get through to Mina.

There was a knock on the door and it swings open. A man in a white doctor's coat walks in. We all bow to greet him and Jeongyeon and Nayeon unnie makes way for the doctor. Who is this? He's not Dr. Riku.

"Glad to see that the patient is up. Hello, I'm Dr. Song. I'm here to fill in for Dr. Riku. He's gone back to Japan, but he gave me special instructions regarding a... Ms. Kim Dahyun? I'm just here to check your vitals for the rounds." He walks up to me and takes the stethoscope off his neck. I feel the coldness of the stethoscope on my chest and he tells me to breathe in and out slowly, to which I comply to. He then checks my blood pressure and adjusts the drip to my IV.

"Well everything seems to be fine, there's just something I'd like to discuss with you about your heart condition Ms. Kim. We seem to have found something serious in the scans that we took earlier." I freeze at the mention of heart condition. . Now Nayeon unnie knows about this too. I hear a gasp and I look at Nayeon's shocked expression. Her eyes were wide open and her hand was over .

"h-Heart condition? You have a heart c-condition Dahyun?" Nayeon was shaking and was almost in tears. Jeongyeon wraps her arms around Nayeon unnie and whispers something to calm her down.

"I'm sorry are you not the family of the patient? I'm terribly sorry to have disclosed the information Ms. Kim, I was told that your visitors were your family members." The doctor bows to me repeatedly and keeps apologizing.

"We are her family. And it's fine, I already know about it. My wife here doesn't though." Nayeon lightly hits Jeongyeon's shoulder. "This is serious Jeongyeon. Stop messing around."

"I'm not messing around. First of all, you are my wife, well you will be. Second, Dahyun's been through worse baby." Jeongyeon puts her arms around Nayeon's shoulders and she excuses themselves outside.

Now alone in the room with Dr. Song, he gets into detail about my heart condition. 

"We found abnormalities in your echo-cardiogram and electrocardiograms. I see from your previous records that this has been a long time condition and that you have been steadily improving. However, your records today show that there are deterioration that is starting to affect your lungs as well."

I was nodding like I actually paying attention to what he was saying. He wasn't my first doctor to discuss this with me. It has actually become like an annoying recorded message to me over the years.

"You're getting better."

"You're getting worse."

"It's starting to affect other organs of your body."

"You're improving remarkably!"

Bull.

I stop listening to them when I realize that it was just a vicious cycle of good news then bad news then worse news.  

 "....I'll get in touch with Dr. Riku to see what his opinion is on this matter. In the meanwhile, take your medicine regularly and on time and rest plenty for the next couple of days." Dr. Song bows and makes his way to the door. My mind flashes forward to the coming days and I remember about training and the basketball season.

"Wait doc, can I still play? I'm on the basketball team and we have training and a whole new season coming up. Please tell me I can play..."

Dr. Song rubs his chin and looks at the ground for a moment.

"Well judging from the results, you can keep attacks from happening